A/N: Here's next chapter. I hope you all like it! A part is M-rated.

Special thanks to snuggleUP, jenny crum and Christiangirl!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 32: Nightmares and dreams

The little girl was shaking as she was kneeled down on the ground in the darkened house, the wind and rain making loud noises outside. A warm moisture stuck to her hands and clothes while the tears of fear and desperation slipped down her delicate face.

''Mom! Mom!''

JJ woke up, sitting straight up in the bed as her body was covered in sweat. She quickly climbed from the bed and hurried into the bathroom while Hotch was still asleep. She turned on the lights and watched herself in the mirror. Her face was terrifyingly pale and her skin was sticky. She turned on the water and used her hands to splash it in her face, still hearing the terrified voice calling out Mom. It was a voice she hadn't forgotten and probably never would in her entire.

She looked up at the door when it opened as Hotch came walking in in only his sweatpants, his muscular chest on display for her. His great physique quickly got her mind off the nightmare she just had. She turned to look at him, realizing her body was still covered in sweat and a silent tear had just streamed down her face.

He stepped inside, wondering why she was up in the middle of the night. But then he looked at her and he felt his heart speed up at the sight in front of him. She looked sick. Very sick. ''JJ, what happened?'' he asked with concern as he raced towards her. He took a hold of both of her arms and felt her body's heat against his palms. ''JJ?''

''Yeah,'' she said as her eyes snapped up to meet his. ''I..uh…just…I had a nightmare. I'm fine.''

''Geez, what kind of nightmare did you have?'' he asked rhetorically. ''Let's get you in the shower. You need to cool down now!'' he ordered, the worry taking over his voice. He helped her out of her tank top, shorts and panties and he gently pushed her into the shower after he put on the water.

JJ felt the water immediately cooling down her skin, but it didn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. She slowly dropped to floor as the water kept pouring down on her. She buried her head in her hands as her body began to shake of its own volition with no way of stopping it.

Hotch came walking back into the bathroom with a towel so he could dry her off once she was done, but as soon as he saw it fell to the ground and he stormed into the shower in his clothes. ''JJ!'' he called out. ''JJ?'' he said a little softer as he kneeled down in front of her.

He cupped her cheeks and raised her head to look at him, and he saw red eyes. It was proof enough for him that she had been crying. ''Sweetheart, what's going on?''

The question forced JJ back into time, back to the nightmare that had been haunting her since she was a little girl. Sometimes they disappeared for months and then they suddenly came back. That's how it always happened. When everything was good, they came back to haunt her.

''Mom! Mom!'' JJ screamed at the top of her lungs as she was still kneeled down on the floor. Her hands and clothes were still covered in the blood from the body that lay before her. The body belonging to her mother.

She put her hands on her mother's shoulders and started shaking her to wake her up, believing she would. ''Mommy! Mom, please wake up!'' JJ pleaded in tears.

JJ snapped back to the present when she heard her name falling from Hotch's lips once more. She looked up at him with desperation and fear, knowing there was no way she could hide her current state. Nor did she want to. ''My mom.'' she croaked out. ''I had a nightmare about my mom dying.''

He pulled her against his body as she was still shaking. ''Shh, it's okay.'' he whispered. ''I'm here, JJ. I'm right here.''

She buried her head in his chest, looking for that sense of safety that she always felt with him. And it only took his arms around her body for JJ to stop shaking heavily and her breathing to calm down. She felt the fear wash away and being replaced with a sense of belonging, but most of all that sense of safety. Something about being with him made her feel so safe and peaceful. It was like a piece of heaven. Something to treasure for life.

Hotch could feel her relaxing in his arms within seconds of holding her, but it didn't take away every ounce of worry he had for her. ''Do you want to talk about it?'' he asked gently as he reached upwards to turn off the shower, but JJ stopped him by pulling his arm back down.

She raised her own hand and cupped his face sweetly as she leaned forward, getting onto her knees in front of him as the water still touched her naked form. She brushed her lips against his, her arms going around his neck to pull him in closer. She moaned into his mouth as he responded by deepening their kiss passionately.

In the back of his head Hotch knew this was a way for JJ to avoid talking about her problems and he was filled with a sense of dread. But he simply couldn't deny her as she moved so amazingly against his body. He pushed himself up from the ground while JJ clung to him. He supported them with the wall and he pushed her against it, their bodies working together. He pushed the wet hair away from her face and broke away from the kiss to look at her for a moment, and all he felt was that pure love. There was nothing else he could ever feel for her than love. He couldn't imagine hating her. To him JJ was utter perfection.

The look of admiration and love in his eyes caused a shiver in her body. He looked at her like no one had in her entire life and it gave her hope for the future. Hope that maybe one day, when her assignment was over, that he would accept her and forgive her for lying. She could only hope for his acceptance. That was all she could do for now, or she could focus solely on being with him, not fearing the future, but living in the present.

''I thought no sex tonight!'' she reminded him of their conversation in the bar earlier that night. But the way he had her pressed up against the wall told her enough of his intentions, and she didn't mind one bit.

His hands moved from her waist upwards, over her sides and then to her breasts, as he leaned forward and kissed her neck with purpose and desire. He pushed his hips up against hers, letting her know he was more serious than ever. ''You're the devil!'' he groaned as he pushed his wet sweatpants and boxers down his hips.

''You're only realizing that now?'' she mumbled in his ear as she felt him spread apart her legs gently.

''You have no idea what you do to me!'' he groaned into her ear, pushing his hips forward as he gently bit down on her lip in ecstasy.

The sudden intrusion caused her to arch upwards in his arms, but she quickly adjusted to him and kissed his lips again as he set a slow pace, holding onto her body gently and with care. Her legs were wrapped around him and pulled him closer as she tightened her legs around his waist, causing him to move deeper inside her.

He kissed her lips, her neck and breasts as they moved together to reach that special feeling. The water was still running down their bodies when he ran his hands through her wet hair and looked into her eyes as they were filled with pure pleasure and love. He quickly fastened his thrusts when he felt her lose herself in his arms. So he pushed forward one more time and dragged them both over the edge. He held onto her as he sank down to the shower floor, pulling her close and kissing her gently.

JJ pulled back a little and looked back up at him with a small smile on her face. Her fear had been replaced by happiness as she was draped in his arms. ''What is it with you and walls?'' she asked in a laugh teasingly.

''I'm sorry.'' he apologized, not realizing that she was just joking with him.

''Aaron, I was joking.'' she assured. ''I like the walls. Believe me! You can press me up against a wall anytime.'' she said as leaned forward to give him a quick peck on the lips.

''Good,'' he whispered as helped her up from the floor. He reached for the shower and turned off the water. He walked out of the shower and took one of the towels. He put it around JJ once she came walking towards him, and he used the other one to dry himself off.

After they came out of the bathroom they both quickly changed into clothes for bed and it only took a few minutes for them both to be settled in bed with JJ crawled against Hotch's side as his arms fell protectively around her.

JJ turned around to face him and to tell him what had happened. ''My mom…'' she croaked out in sadness while looking into his brown calming eyes. ''she died right in front of me when I was eleven years old.'' she explained, finally telling him something completely real about herself. She couldn't go into details, but it was something she wanted and needed to share with him. ''I just wanted you to know.''

''I'm so sorry that you had to experience that, but thank you for telling me.'' he whispered appreciatively. ''It means a lot to me, JJ.''

''I know we don't talk about our pasts very often, but all that matters to me is that we're together because I just know how right this is, with us.'' she went on. ''I don't need anything else to know that I love you and that I want to be with you.''

''I feel the same way.'' he said happily. Just like JJ, he had his demons in his past. He hadn't talked about his family either, but he wanted to. ''I grew up in a family were I never knew what unconditional love meant or that it even existed. My father used to beat my mom badly and sometimes me when I tried to stand up for her.'' he went on, opening up the most vulnerable side of him that he had. ''I never thought love could be real until I met Haley. With her I felt loved for the first time in my life, and when that ended a part of me broke, but you…you…'' he continued, stopping to gather himself. ''You've truly showed that unconditional love, JJ. So thank you for that!''

The tears were falling down JJ's cheek at his words. He only reaffirmed what she knew. Their love was one you read about in books, or saw in movies. It was bittersweet, almost like a dream, but for them it was reality. Their love was one in a million, and it made JJ wonder if there was only one love that existed like that for each person in the world. Although she had loved before, she hadn't loved and felt loved the way she did with Hotch. With him it was a constant. She never had any doubts about his commitment to her, like she had with Owen. With Hotch it was real and true. At that moment he was the only real thing in her life.