Chapter 30

Tarikihongan Temple

Keiichi immediately got up and tried to follow Belldandy, but Urd intercepted him.

Urd cautioned. "I don't think it's a good idea to approach Bell in the state she's in. She's pissed off at herself, and there's not much you can do to settle her down right now. Not even you-know-what. You should just give her a little space for a while. She'll eventually cool down."

"Maybe you're right, Urd."

"Of course I'm right. Who knows Belldandy better than her big sister?"

Keiichi turned to Kami-sama. "Do you have any suggestions? I don't want Belldandy to do anything that could hurt herself or damage Heaven."

For once, even Kami-sama was at a loss for words. He looked at Keiichi for a long time, as if in deep thought, but said nothing.

It would have been easy for Keiichi to be a little angry at Kami-sama for not answering his question. After all, he was the Supreme Being. The Big Man. The Ruler of Heaven. He, more than anyone, should know all about what is going on in his domain. But the man in charge is supposed to see the big picture, he shouldn't be expected to know what every individual employee is supposed to be doing. That's why he delegates underlings, who'll watch over the little things. But for a matter of this importance, Kami-sama should have been able to offer some kind of input. But he sat there silently, not offering any answer nor guidance. Keiichi was tempted to get in Kami-sama's face and confront him, demand that he show some leadership. But while he knew that he had the Supreme Ruler's favor for the time being, he didn't want to throw his standing into jeopardy.

Keiichi felt helpless. He didn't have a solution to offer for the problem facing Heaven. He desperately wanted to go to Belldandy and comfort her during what had to be a very stressful time for the Goddess. He felt that she was putting needless pressure on herself. That she was at fault for something that she might have had an hand in, but wasn't directly to blame. Belldandy always had this habit of thinking that because she was a Goddess, she always had to be perfect. That if she ever showed any sign of weakness or fallibility, any sign of her not being in complete control of a situation, her standing as a Goddess was suspect. No doubt, that mindset came from her field Goddess training. Field Goddesses were taught to always strive for 100% customer satisfaction, and penalties were inflicted on Goddesses that didn't grant their customer's wishes to their satisfaction, or had left a contract unfulfilled. Belldandy's job was not an easy one, and her tendency to hold herself to an unreasonably high standard in all she said and did, plus her habit of beating herself up when she failed to maintain that standard made it all that much more difficult.

Kami-sama broke Keiichi's train of thought. "Excuse me, Keiichi," he said almost apologetically. "Where is your telephone?"

Kei gave him directions, and he stood up and walked into the hallway where the phone was sitting on a small table. Kei thought to himself, " I wonder who he's calling. Who does he know that can help us?"

A few moments passed and Kami-sama returned to the Tea Room. As if in response to Keiichi's thoughts, he said. "I'm sorry, but I had to call Heaven and ask someone who is very familiar with the Interface layer to come down here and help us out. Maybe he can shed some light on our problem."

Urd asked. "Who is it?"

Kami-sama responded. "Istvar."

"No, my Lord. Not Istvar!"

Kami-sama said. "I have no choice." He knows more about the workings of the Interface layer better than any deity in Heaven. He's the lead Technician of that section."

"That's true, but he's also crazy!" Urd blurted out.

"I have heard some say that. I've also heard the same said about you."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Urd, I know how he feels about you."

"You also know how he feels about…" As she pointed in the direction of Keiichi's room, where Belldandy had gone.

"Yes, I know. He'll just have to mind his manners. He won't do anything stupid while I'm here."

"I sure hope not."

Keiichi had been listening to the exchange between Urd and Kami-sama, and the mention of Istvar's name piqued his curiosity. "Who is Istvar?"

Urd said to Kami-sama, "Shall I tell him, or you?"

"Go right ahead, Urd."

"I knew you'd say that."

Kami-sama nodded with a slight smile.

Urd took a deep breath, sighed heavily and spoke. "Keiichi, remember what I said about the Interface layer being a very complex combination of computer code and magic that makes up the core of Yggdrasil, and how a very highly skilled set of programmers built and maintain it?"

Keiichi said, "Yes."

"Istvar is the lead programmer for the Interface layer. He is easily one of the ten smartest deities in Heaven, if not the smartest. The other nine are the members of his team. To say that they are brilliant at what they do would be an understatement of Heavenly proportions. What they don't know about the Interface isn't worth knowing."

"Okay."

"Problem is, that as intelligent as they are, they are somewhat lacking in social graces. In short, they're absolutely nuts."

"Why?"

"They spend every moment of every day tweaking, adjusting, tuning, and maintaining the Interface layer. Refreshing spells here, writing code there, it is their sole purpose in life. And they love it. They believe that just like you and I are talking to each other, the Interface talks to them.

"They love their job so much, that they have very little interaction with the general population of Heaven. And when one of them manages to come out of their hidey-hole and tries to make even the simplest conversation with regular Gods and Goddesses, the result is almost guaranteed to go comically and spectacularly wrong.

"Most of Heaven doesn't know or care one bit about how Yggdrasil works, until it doesn't. Then you can hear the howls of pain from one end of Heaven to the other. For the Interface team, it's the exact opposite. That's all they care about. They have their own language, their own customs, they play by their own rules, and most of the general population hasn't a clue of what they're saying or doing. They don't mix well with ordinary folks, as you will soon find out. Lucky for us, Istvar, being the lead programmer, has some experience with working with Heavenly management, so the rest of the team uses him as their spokesman. He can communicate better than the rest of his group of crazies, but just barely."

Keiichi said, "He sounds like a real piece of work."

"He has his moments, but if there's anyone who can help us out of our predicament, it's Istvar."

Urd was about to tell Keiichi more about their impending guest when Kami-sama interrupted. "He's descending."

Keiichi, Urd and Kami-sama headed back out to the courtyard where the beam of light that radiated from the Gate came down and bathed the yard in its pure white color. Within the beam a humanoid form descended to Earth. And it did not look one bit happy about visiting this unfamiliar world.

If an edict issued from Kami-sama mandated that all Gods and Goddesses would be tall, supremely attractive and the model of physical perfection, clearly Istvar didn't get that memo. Or if he did, he certainly didn't read it. Or if he read it, he just didn't care. He was short, with unkempt hair that sprayed out in all directions, had a permanent scowl on his pale, washed out face and he moved with a hurried shuffle that was punctuated by facial tics, randomly gyrating arms, and his head on a swivel constantly looking around as if someone was after him. He was dressed in rumpled green robes of Authority, and he was barefoot.

"Where am I!" Istvar all but screamed to no one in particular.

"You are on Earth." Kami-sama explained patiently.

"Did you summon me, Kami-sama? You better have a damn good reason for bringing me down here."

"Yes, I did summon you, and I advise you to watch your tone when addressing me. You're not in Heaven right now."

Istvar looked around at his surroundings with a barely controlled indignation. "Such a primitive world! Only 4 dimensions? So limited. What a waste of resources. Kami-sama, I demand that you send me back to Heaven immediately! I've got too much work to do with the Interface to play silly games with you on this backwards planet!"

Keiichi could tell that it was taking all of Kami-sama's patience to restrain himself from going off on Istvar. He had to give him credit. Istvar was clearly getting on his last nerve. The Ruler took a hard look at the insolent programmer, and with tremendous calm said, "Istvar, as soon as you help us with our problem, I will send you back without delay."

"What problem?" Istvar barked.

"I'll tell you when we get inside the temple."

Istvar looked as if he was going to erupt in another blatant show of rudeness and disrespect until he spotted Urd, and like night and day, his disposition changed. The bluster and anger dissipated and was replaced with a shy, almost lovesick demeanor. He slowly walked up to Urd and with a quiet, timid voice, he said, "H-hello, Urd."

Urd said matter-of-factly, "Istvar."

"I-it's good to see you again, Urd."

"It's good to see you too."

"Is everything okay, Urd?"

"Everything's just fine." And things will be a lot better once you're gone!

Istvar turned to Kami-sama, and said, "As long as Urd stays with us, I'll hear you out."

"Okay, Istvar. She can stay with us."

Istvar followed Urd, a little too close for comfort as she made her way into the temple behind Kami-sama and Keiichi. Urd silently gritted her teeth at the invasion of her personal space, but kept her peace.

When the group entered the Tea Room, where Ilse was still seated at the table munching on snacks, Istvar took one look at her and rumbled, "What is she doing here?"

Kami-sama said, "She's with us."

Istvar's face darkened and some of the anger and scowling came back.

At that moment, Belldandy walked into the Tea Room. She looked as if she had gotten over her earlier distress, and was back to her usual cheerful self. She noticed Istvar and said, "Istvar! What a pleasant surprise to see you. I didn't know you had descended." She reached out her arms as if to envelope him in a hug. Istvar gave a loud snort, batted Bell's hands away, turned his back to her.

The brazen show of disrespect and rudeness Istvar showed to his wife, sent Keiichi over the edge.

"Look you! I don't know or care who you are, but you don't treat my wife like that. You apologize to her right now!"

Istvar turned to Keiichi and challenged, "And what are you going to do about it?"

Keiichi, showing zero fear, looked Istvar in the eye and said, "Try me!" He prepared to unleash a spell, but Kami-sama intervened.

"Keiichi! Hold back!"

"He just disrespected Belldandy! I won't stand for anyone doing that to my wife!"

"Come with me, Keiichi. Now!" Kami-sama commanded.

Kami-sama pulled Keiichi out into the hall and said. "I know that right now, you're angry about what Istvar just did. But he's the only one who can help us right now."

"But, Kami-sama!"

"Istvar doesn't just have a problem with Belldandy, he has a problem with field Goddesses in general."

"Why?"

"A long time ago, a field Goddess embarrassed him in front of his team. He suffered a great loss of face, and he carries a grudge against all field Goddesses to this day. He thinks that they are all arrogant, flighty, and snobbish."

"But Belldandy is nothing like that."

"Everybody in this room knows that, but Istvar is not one to forgive a slight. And until we can get this matter settled, we will have to put up with him."

"Who was the Goddess who embarrassed him?"

"Does it really matter?"

"No, not really. Just curious."

"To satisfy your curiosity, it was Peorth."

Keiichi broke out laughing. "I should have guessed. Knowing how she tormented me, I'm not surprised."

"So, now. Are we on the same page, Keiichi?"

"No problem, Kami-sama."

Belldandy walked up. Her flushed face had indicated that she had been crying. She wiped a stray tear from her eyes as she said. "Keiichi, don't worry. I'm not offended by Istvar's conduct. I had forgotten about his issue with my kind."

"As long as you're all right, Bell."

"I'm fine, Kei. I had just overreacted a little bit back there. I know that I'm not to blame for the trouble that we are having. I just lost myself for a moment."

The three returned to the Tea Room where Istvar was practically sitting in Urd's lap, he was so close to her. And Urd was dying a thousand deaths. Istvar was trying to chat her up, and she kept ignoring him. And the more Urd tried to send the obvious message to the lovesick programmer that she wasn't interested in whatever game he was playing, the more that he showed that he wasn't getting that message, or if he was getting it, he didn't care. Ilse was sitting across the table watching the interaction and silently enjoying every minute of it. "Better her than me!" she was saying to herself.

Chapter 31

Kami-sama tried to explain the Interface dilemma to Istvar. But Istvar had his eyes squarely on Urd, or more correctly, Urd's most prominent assets. He alternated his lustful gaze between Urd's bountiful breasts and her long bronze legs. She could have hit him in the head with a stick and he wouldn't have felt a thing, so enraptured he was with her looks. The fact that she was dressed in one of usual slutty outfits didn't help matters.

With mounting frustration, Kami-sama tersely asked, "Urd, is there anything you can do to shift Istvar's attention to the matter at hand."

Shaking her head, Urd said to the lecherous God, "Istvar?"

"Yes, Urd?" Istvar said dreamily, eyes locked on Urd's 36 DD's.

"I need you to focus on what we brought you down here for."

"I'd rather focus on you."

"I bet you would. But we have a problem that only you can solve."

"Does the problem have to do with you?"

"No, Istvar. It has to do with the Interface Layer."

"What Interface Layer?"

"The Interface Layer that you and the rest of your team of whackjobs maintain."

"What about it?"

"Kami-sama will explain, if you'll listen."

"I don't want to listen to him."

"I'll tell you what, Istvar. If you'll hear Kami-sama out, and help us with our problem, I'll…"

"You'll what?"

"I'll…"

"You'll what, Urdie?"

I hate when he calls me Urdie!

Kami-sama cleared his throat loudly.

"I'll do something special for you, Istvar."

"You mean?"

A long pause. "Yes, Istvar. I'll do that."

"You keep promising me that, but…"

"Trust me. I'll do it this time."

"Swear to me on your honor as a Goddess?"

Urd raised her right hand. "I swear on my honor as a Goddess."

Istvar looked longingly into Urd's eyes one more time. "Okay Urd. You promised. Don't make me call you out."

"I won't, Istvar." Urd said reassuringly. Although she was sure that he hadn't seen the crossed fingers of her left hand behind her back.

Istvar turned back to Kami-sama and his bluff and bluster returned. "All right, Kami-sama. Why the hell am I here?"

"Finally!" Kami-sama said. He then explained the matter regarding the corruption of the Interface Layer by the anomalies created by the presence of Keiichi's magical signature.

After he was finished, Istvar stared at Keiichi with a look that could cut through steel. "So it was you who tracked your hybrid filth through the Layer. My team and I had been going crazy trying to figure out where all those anomalies were coming from! I knew you were trouble when I first laid eyes on you. There's no telling how much damage was done as a result of the wish made by that incompetent Goddess of yours through the Song of the Goddesses. Turning you, of all people into a God! Bah!"

Keiichi seethed. "That incompetent Goddess you're talking about happens to be my wife. Show some respect!"

Istvar snorted. "She deserves no respect from me, nor any other deity in Heaven. Her selfish actions may of caused all sorts of problems including collapsing the Layer and bringing Heaven down around us. And if Heaven goes, what do you think will happen to this little backwater world?"

Hearing these words, Belldandy erupted in a fresh bout of tears. But she didn't leave the room this time.

Istvar did not feel sorry for the Goddess and continued to pour salt into a fresh wound.

"You should have just left well enough alone, Belldandy. Just granted Keiichi's wish like every other field Goddess and when this worthless mongrel died like every other human, you should have just came back to Heaven and picked up another assignment. But no." Istvar screamed, pointing his finger at Keiichi. "You had to fall in love with this...this, abomination. And your desire to spend all of eternity with him may have doomed both Heaven and Earth. Billions of lives destroyed in both realms. I hope the sex was worth it, Belldandy."

Istvar still wasn't done. Pointing to the golden rune inscribed ring on Keiichi's finger, "Then, to add insult to injury, you gave him THAT!"

Chapter 32

Keiichi said, "What's wrong with my ring?"

Smugly, Istvar responded. Did Belldandy ever tell you the truth about the ring you wear on your finger? About its significance?"

"It's a wedding ring. A symbol of our love for each other. She's a Goddess First Class, she's forbidden to lie."

"Maybe to these pathetic humans on this hopeless planet, it's a symbol of your love. But in Heaven, that ring carries a far different meaning. You of all people, are the least qualified to wear it, much less possess it. Try to take it off."

"Why would I want to do that? Belldandy gave it to me and I promised her that I'd never remove it."

"Humor me, Keiichi. Try and take it off."

Keiichi looked at Belldandy. She nodded her head. He grabbed hold of the ring and pulled. It wouldn't budge. He pulled harder, twisting it at the same time. Still no success. The ring spun freely on his finger, it wasn't tight, but as hard as he tried, Keiichi could not slide it off. It was as if an unseen force resisted all his efforts and held the ring fast.

"Can't take it off, huh?" Istvar gloated.

Keiichi ignored the programmer's taunts and tried even harder to remove the offending ring. But to no avail.

"What gives?" Keiichi said in mounting frustration.

"That ring's never coming off." said Istvar. "It's a permanent part of you now. You couldn't take it off if you wanted to. No amount of magic can remove it. Not even Kami-sama's magic."

Keiichi turned to Belldandy. "Bell, what is the deal with this ring?"

Istvar butted in. "Don't bother asking her, she doesn't have a clue. She thinks it's just an ordinary wedding ring. With some fancy runes on it. Lemme guess, she told you that she'd tell you the meaning of the runes on...what is it called? Your honeymoon?"

Keiichi and Belldandy nodded their heads.

"Well, did she?"

One look at Belldandy confirmed it.

"She didn't tell you. Isn't it a bit unusual that a Goddess of Belldandy's stature and reputation somehow forgot to tell you about the meaning of a ring that she gave you on your wedding day?" Istvar said. "Doesn't that strike you as just the slightest bit odd?"

Keiichi had to admit that Istvar was right. Normally Belldandy would never forget to tell Keiichi whatever it was she wanted him to know. Her memory was excellent. He never wanted to suspect Belldandy was holding out on him for anything, but he also knew that she did neglect to inform him about the continued existence of the Goddess contract that existed between her and Keiichi back when he was still a human.

For a fleeting moment, Keiichi wondered what other things Belldandy was holding out on. He and Bell needed to have a good heart-to-heart talk later on. But for now…

Keiichi said. "Istvar, I will discuss this matter with Belldandy later. But for now, what does this ring have to do with the problems of the Interface Layer?"

Istvar looked at Keiichi as if he were a particularly slow-witted child. "That ring has everything to do with the Interface Layer. I would have suggested that we send you back through Belldandy's connection to Yggdrasil with a cleaning spell that would have removed your magical traces from the Layer. But your possession of that ring makes it impossible now. Even without the ring, sending you back through would have been extremely risky, but it still would have been possible. But now, the presence of the magic bound up in that ring combining with your magical essence would surely disrupt the Interface Layer to the point that it would collapse immediately."

Turning to Kami-sama, Istvar quietly and solemnly said. "We have a very big problem. I don't think there's much we can do here...except prepare for the imminent collapse of the Interface Layer and the fall of Heaven.