A/N: Here's next chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to jenny crum, snuggleUP and BAUMember!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 36: Reconnecting

The day had come. A day of dread for JJ, but also a day that could change thousands of innocent lives, so it was more than worth it. It had taken JJ two weeks to set up a cover story and plan before she had contacted Ward. She had worked together with Owen because she had to. Collins had assigned him as her handler so there had been no other way. Working with him had been filled with tension and awkwardness. She felt that Owen looked at her differently after he had discovered that she had been sleeping with a target to get more information. But if anyone had no right to judge her, it was Owen himself. He had once done the same thing for the sake of the agency. And yes, maybe sleeping with Christian Ward had been a way for JJ to attempt to get over Owen. She didn't know. But it had happened and she didn't have the capability to take back her actions, even though she wished she could. It hadn't exactly been the proudest six months of her life. She had believed she'd never have to rehash the past, but now she was waiting for the man she spent six months with.

She had stepped from the elevator and was now walking through the hallway, passing the rooms and looking for the number she had been given. She stopped when she reached room 542 and she stepped back, her hand going to the waistband of her jeans to keep one hand on her gun just in case. She knocked on the door, the nerves shooting through her body, but there was no answer. Then she realized the door was open, so she opened it further and carefully walked inside, her ears open for any sound around. And before she could respond to a sound coming up from behind her, she was being pushed into the wall next to her. A hand covered her mouth while the other kept her against the wall tightly.

JJ felt her body go into defensive mode, but when she got a clear look of the person standing across from her and smiling back at her, she felt herself calm down. He let go of her and took a step back. ''That was one hell of a welcome, Christian.'' JJ smiled out, putting the confident façade across her face. With him she had always been confident.

''Hello to you too, Alexandra!'' Christian greeted with a smirk on his face. ''I just had to make sure you weren't somebody else.''

''Who else could I have been?'' JJ asked curiously as she moved away from the wall. She dropped her purse down on the bed and let her coat fall down her shoulders and onto the bed as well. She turned back to Christian he was staring back at her intently.

''You always knew how to impress a guy, Alex.'' he said with anticipation, his eyes moving up and down her body. She wore tight dark blue skinny jeans with high heels that showed off her legs perfectly. She wore a white blouse on top of it, reminding him of the time they had spent together seven months earlier. ''So why did you contact me?''

JJ sat down in the chair in the corner of the room, looking at him seductively and with authority. ''Oh come on, Christian. I know we're both in town for the same reason.'' she began. ''You were in business with Tyler Warren, weren't you?''

He stayed silent as JJ rose from the chair and slowly started walking towards him. ''One of my clients is interested in the weapon and I've been in town for seven months to acquire it without luck.'' she went on. ''But then I saw your initials show up in Warren's calendar and my suspicions about you were finally confirmed.'' she said boldly as she finally stopped in front of him, their bodies nearly touching. ''You're working with the Russians, which you denied when we were in Moscow together.''

Christian pulled away and walked away from JJ with ease, not being impressed at all by her discovery about him. ''I'm not impressed.'' he said, his voice dark and deep. ''Don't get me wrong, I loved our time together in Moscow. You were amazing.'' he breathed out.

''If I were you I would stop there!'' JJ warned. ''I no longer mix business with pleasure.'' she went on, knowing she was about to drop a bomb on him which would change everything for him. ''Asad Hawsawi is in town, Christian. His men killed Warren in his home. He's after the same weapon we both want!''

''Hawsawi?'' he asked intensely. ''I haven't heard anything about that.''

JJ walked to the bed and took an envelope out of her purse and handed it to him. She watched him closely as he stared at each picture longer than the one before. ''Do you believe me now?''

He whirled around throwing the pictures onto the bed in anger and rage. ''What do you want?''

''I want us to work together to find the weapon.''

''How is that possibly going to work when we both want the same thing? Who is going to walk away with it?'' he asked simply.

''Oh, don't worry. I plan for this to be my last sell. I want out of this game.'' she replied. ''You can have the weapon, but I'm going to borrow it to supposedly sell it to my client but I'll kill him before he can walk away with it and I'll take his money.'' she explained with a grin on her face. ''Did I impress you now?''

''You really aren't just a pretty face.'' he smiled back at her. ''It sounds good to me, but this can't get back to my employer. If he realizes I'm working with an outside party he'll kill us both.''

''Sounds good to me. You know how to contact me.'' JJ said while she put her coat back on. She threw her purse over her shoulder, and walked to the door. ''It's nice to finally do business with you, Christian.'' she said happily. She opened the door and walked out of the room and let the door fall shut behind her. She walked back to the elevators and stepped inside. She pushed the button and then leaned against the wall, the emotion finally coming to the surface. It was a mix of nerves and fear. But after five seconds in the elevator she felt her body trembling from the fear she had felt but she had been pushing away. There was a very good reason she was pulled from her assignment in Russia and ordered back to come DC. It was for her very own safety. If Ward ever found out what she had done he would kill her. She knew that, so once a discovery was made, she was extracted from Russia and assigned a new mission. But now she was once again in contact with him, and both she and Collins knew she could possibly be signing her death warrant. But her life didn't feel nearly as important as the lives that could be saved to keep the weapon from falling into the wrong hands. And Ward and his employer were definitely the wrong hands. So it was up to JJ now. She knew a lot of responsibility was now riding on her shoulders.

Once the elevator reached the lobby, she walked out and made her way onto the street. She walked a few blocks and then spotted the black van. She had made a few rounds to make sure she wasn't being followed, and then she made her way to the van and jumped in the back where Owen was sitting behind the screens.

He took of his headphones and looked at her, realizing she wasn't anything like herself. ''You did great, JJ.'' he complimented. ''You were strong and confident and got him to agree to your terms quickly. Collins is going to be happy about this.''

JJ's face tensed up at his words. ''Yeah,'' she agreed in a whisper.

''Okay, that's it.'' Owen stated. ''I know you and Collins haven't been telling me the entire truth about your assignment in Russia. What are you hiding from me, JJ?''

The words, the truth lay on the tip of her tongue and she wanted to blurt it all out, to tell him the truth and to talk about with another person. ''The failed meeting with a former Russian Intelligence Officer was how I got the assignment to look into Ward in the first place.'' she began. ''I had a meeting scheduled with Natalya Severov. She was former GRU and KBG, claiming she had knowledge of a rising Russian criminal organization. She was willing to give us names in exchange for a US passport and immunity from prosecution.'' she continued. ''The meeting was set up and we met, but from the moment I met her something felt off. She pulled a gun on me, but I killed her before she hurt me.'' JJ said, now in tears.

''What does this have to do with Christian Ward?''

''I found his name on a piece of paper along with the name of a local bar.'' she went on, gathering herself so she wasn't going to fall apart in front of Owen. ''I contacted Collins and he told me to stay in Russia and get close to Ward. I did as I was told and I carried on my relationship with him.'' she said. ''After seven months I found nothing, and then one day when I was in his home alone I cracked his safe and found a picture of him and his wife in it.'' she said with fear and desperation. ''The woman in the picture was…''

''Natalya Severov.'' Owen finished, realizing how much her death had affected JJ. He could see it by the look in her eyes.

''I called it into Langley and Collins immediately had me pulled from the assignment for my own safety and then he tasked you to follow Christian Ward.'' JJ explained, feeling relieved that the truth was finally out.

''She was your first kill.'' he stated, knowing that JJ hadn't taken a life in the time they were partners.

''Yes, she was.'' JJ responded. ''It has been over a year and I still can't get the image out of my head. I see her face and I relive the way she looked at me when I pulled the trigger.'' she said in tears. ''It changed me, Owen.''

''I know it does, JJ.'' he said as he moved to sit down next to her. He put his arm around and her and pulled her in closely to comfort her. ''But you did what you had to do to survive.''

''I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier.'' she whispered. She let her head fall to his shoulder as she began to calm down. Her life definitely hadn't been a picnic. Killing someone had taken away a part of her, and forced her to realize she wasn't always going to be a good person. She knew that with their job self-defense was going to play a major role, and death was a part she had yet to learn how to deal with.