Chapter 5: Daria Digs

A little warning: there are racial slurs and sexual orientation slurs thrown around in this chapter.

Daria and Jane heard the hubbub as they went to the east parking lot for Daria to meet Mai for another volleyball practice. A small crowd of six or eight was standing around the back of Mai's truck. Daria and Jane skirted the edge of the crowd and watched.

Siobhan and Pris were standing in front of Mai apparently blocking her from seeing something on the rear bumper.

"You don't need to see it, Mai." Siobhan stated. "It's just dumb. Give us ten minutes and we'll get it off."

"C'mon you guys, I'm a big girl. Just let me see the fucking thing."

Pris crossed her arms and shook her head.

"Back off, Pris. Stand aside Chipmunk," Mai ordered. She said softer then, "C'mon you guys, please."

Siobhan, apparently designated 'Chipmunk' because of her hair in small buns worn on either side of her head, and Pris glanced at each other, shrugged and moved away.

"Assholes!" Mai exclaimed. "The bastard covered up my Ford Tough sticker."

'I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT' read the sticker in a font so flowing, curvy, festive and rounded it made Comic Sans look somber enough for a Supreme Court ruling. Bursts of rainbows and flowers in lurid shades flanked the script. It was hard to tell but Daria thought what little background was left was a bilious shade of yellow.

"It's not so bad," Pris offered. "See? They did a crappy job."

She pinched a tiny hanging corner and pulled hard and fast. Pris blinked as she was left holding a jagged snake-tongue shaped piece with chunks of Mai's precious Ford decal hanging on it.

'...M...GAY I...RAIGHT' the sticker now more or less read. Mai clenched her fists and growled. She turned on the growing crowd. Few boys dared meet the angry eyes of a fit girl who was taller than most of them.

"Did you do this, Feldman?" She accosted a boy who usually wore a small smile of superiority. "It stinks of your shit."

Skylar Feldman shook his head managing to wear an expression of put-upon innocence and slowly growing fear.

"Nah, you're probably too damn lazy. By the way, I got news for you, Skylar. I heard you call my buddy Woot a chink. She's not a chink; Woot's a gook. I'M A CHINK. Got it now?"

Skylar gulped and nodded. "Um, I have to go wax the boat." He slunk away.

Every fiber of Daria wanted to follow her instincts and long habits to avoid attention and slink away. She and Jane looked at each other and walked through the crowd to Mai's truck. Mai was walking around it inspecting every inch carefully. Pris and Siobhan eyed the pair with suspicion but said nothing. Pris was attempting to compress the sticker pieces she still held into pin point size.

"Mai," Daria said.

"Hi Daria. Hi Jane. No real damage, I guess, but when I find the motherfucker I'm gonna go all wushu on his ass."

"Please don't, Mai," Jane asked. "We want you here in Llawwndale High not in juvie lockup somewhere."

Siobhan and Pris gave Mai quick hugs and wandered off.

As Mai studied the remnants of the bumper stickers Jane sucked her lips then proposed, "You know, Trent, my brother, is an expert at getting stickers off anything without a trace. About his only skill. Let's take your truck to my place and we can wake him up."

"Wait, I'm fucking dumb," Mai blinked at Jane. "Trent Lane? The Trent Lane?"

Jane blinked back. "As far as I know the one and only Trent Lane in all of Lawndale. Thank God. I didn't peg you as a fan of grunge or possible Doors cover bands, Mai."

"Don't you guys ever look at the trophy cases by the front door?" Mai asked.

Before Daria could make a snappy comment or Jane could shake her head, Mai went on, "Forget it, even I know that's a supremely fucking dumb question. Trent Lane was on the first volleyball team ever at Lawndale High, his senior year. They took conference, freakin' amazing for the very first team. Him and Jesse Moreno and Max 'Criminale' Tyler, all senior starters on the very first team! Their autographed ball and trophies are in the case. That's your brother?"

Jane and Daria were both looking goggle-eyed at Mai now. Jane was about to flat out deny the seeming supreme impossibility but she said, "Maybe we should just go wake Trent and find out."