Starting this chapter, we'll see how much I get written before I have to take a transfer from the hospital several hours away...ugh, I despise transfers.

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Yukina threw open the front door of the Kuwabara household and kicked her shoes off, taking off towards the stairs at a full out run, but when she reached the doorway between the kitchen and the hallway, she found Shizuru standing in the center of it with her arms crossed, a dangerous expression on her face.

"What did you do to my brother?" she asked darkly, Yukina felt her glare like a punch in the gut.

"Oh, Shizuru, I've made a terrible mistake!" Yukina cried, she made no attempt to get around the angry big sister. There was no point, Shizuru was strong and had no qualms about kicking butt and taking names. "Please, let me pass? I have to talk to Kazuma."

"I think you must have said enough," Shizuru said simply, "I don't know what happened because he just shut himself in his room and won't talk to me, but I haven't seen him like this since our mom died."

Yukina felt her gut twist at Shizuru's words and found herself wishing she could turn the clock back and never have said the things she did.

"I...I said some things I didn't really understand..."she tried to explain through her tight throat, "I never meant to hurt him, I just thought I knew better than him and..."

"Look, kid," Shizuru poked her finger into Yukina's chest, making her step back, "What the hell does he have to do to prove to you that he doesn't care about all that demon and human hatred stuff? Hasn't he shown you yet that it doesn't matter?"

"I know that now," Yukina said quietly, wishing she could shrink into the floorboards, "I truly do, Shizuru. I don't care either anymore. I want to stay in Human World, this is my home now. I want to stay with him even if it means I'm never allowed back to Demon World. Even if it means I have to watch him die in front of my own eyes someday...I want to be with him while I can."

Shizuru examined Yukina's face for a long time, neither of them speaking. Finally, Shizuru must have seen the truth in Yukina's eyes or mind and she stepped aside to let the demon past.

"This is the last chance you get, Yukina," she threatened, "I won't let you put him through something like this again. You need to decided and stick to it, not string him along and then keep threatening to cut the ties."

"I won't," Yukina replied honestly as she passed the older sister, "I promise, Shizuru."

Shizuru watched the small girl run up the steps and she sighed, walking back into the living room.

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Yukina took a steadying breath and raised her hand to knock on Kazuma's door, there was no reply. She knocked again.

"Please leave me alone, Shizuru. I can't talk about it right now." Yukina didn't like the sound of his voice, he sounded...exhuasted and defeated. She turned the handle and opened the door, stepping in and closing it behind her.

Kuwabara sat on the floor, his back again the side of his bed, his knees up to his chest, his hands laid over them and his chin rested on top of them. His eyes were closed and Yukina knew he thought it was Shizuru who had entered, she felt the shame and pain rolling off him in waves.

"Kazuma?"

The sound of her voice caused his whole body to twitch and his eyes opened, but they were focused on the carpet. Slowly, he looked up and Yukina very nearly turned and ran back out of the room. There was absolutely no emotions on his face, his eyes were blank and empty almost as if he had no soul behind them. He didn't say a word, didn't respond in any way other than looking at her.

"Oh, Kazuma..." Yukina whispered more to herself than him, and she stepped forward carefully as if she was dealing with a cornered wolf. She raised her hands and tried to think of what to do next, the only thing she could think of was the day she had played with his hair and how soft and warm it was so she reached slowly until her fingertips began to slip into the ginger layers. She was surprised at the speed of his movements as he jerked his head down and away from her.

"Don't."

Only one word, but it cut Yukina like a knife. She imagined suddenly what her words must have felt like to him, like dozens of daggers piercing his heart? She pulled her hands back to her side and stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

The room was eerily silent, the only sound was Eikichi's purrs as she rubbed her face gently on Kuwabara's elbow, trying to get his attention to cheer him up. The fact that he was ignoring his beloved cat caused even more concern for Yukina...it was like he was shutting down.

"Are you angry?" Yukina asked almost too quiet to hear. Kuwabara looked up at her again and she saw a spark of emotion, but it was just more pain.

"No." was the simple reply he gave, his voice sounded strained.

"I wish you would be angry," Yukina told him softly, "At least you would be reacting in some way I can understand."

Kuwabara closed his eyes again and rested his forehead on his hand, his fingers and thumb digging into his temples.

"What don't you understand, Yukina?" came his gruff reply, his voice sounded like he'd swallowed gravel, "A few days ago you tell me you love me...and now you tell me you don't...I just think you don't know what you really want."

Yukina remained silent, feeling he had more to say.

"I can't be angry...I can't feel anything..."

Yukina hung her head at his words, his usual cheerful, silly voice replaced by a dull, lifeless monotone.

"I hate to see you this way," she said, shuffling her feet.

"Then leave me alone."

Yukina fought the urge to bolt out of the room and she knelt down in front of him, resting her hands on her thighs. She focused on his face and waited for him to open his eyes and look at her.

"I can't," she whispered, "I can't leave you, Kazuma."

This got her the reaction she had hoped for, his eyes opened and he met her gaze. She winced at the redness of the skin around his eyes that she just noticed, he'd been crying very heavily at one point before this empty stage he was in.

"I can't," Yukina continued, "And I won't."

Kuwabara waited for her next words.

"What I said back at the library...I was scared. That story made me realize a fear I never focused on before, the fear of the unknown future. I was so afraid of how my heart would feel to lose you one day that I didn't stop to think of how you were feeling to be pushed away."

She took a deep breath and waited for his reply, but he didn't speak. His mouth was a tight line and his eyes were still blank and hurt.

"I...I realize now that...love is going to hurt sometimes," Yukina tried to fit her thoughts into the correct words, "You'll die, I'll be alone...but I think I see now...I'd rather love you while I have you than go my entire life without loving you and being loved in return."

Something changed in his eyes at those words, a faint spark of hope.

"But you said..." he began, "You said we would never work."

"I only said that because I was scared," Yukina admitted, "But I'm not scared anymore. I know now that all I want for this part of my life is come home to you here in Human World and give you all that I can while you live."

"Thanks for constantly throwing my short lifespan in my face," Kuwabara muttered.

"It's something we can't ignore," Yukina replied, sadly, "Kazuma...can you ever forgive me for the things I said? Can you ever trust me again? Can you believe that...I love you?"

Kuwabara hesitated a long time, his eyes scanning the carpet by her knees intently.

"I really, really, really want to believe it," he said softly, "It just seems...kind of wrong to trust you again so easily."

Yukina hung her head and began to form tear gems around her eyelashes.

"But I do trust you," Kuwabara continued, causing her to look up in surprise, "What kind of man would I be if I couldn't forgive you and give you another chance? I will always love you whether you love me back or not."

"I won't make the mistake of being afraid ever again," Yukina said, it sounded so loud to speak at a normal volume after such a long period of quietness. "I want to tell you right now, I love you and I realize now that it's more than a feeling, it's a choice. I choose you, Kazuma."

Yukina felt as if her heart would explode when Kuwabara's lips pulled up into a smile and he grabbed her, pulling her to his chest in the tightest, most secure and unrelenting hug she'd ever experienced. She felt his hand snake into the hair on the back of her head and she found her head pulled back gently a moment before she was being kissed roughly. She felt his frustration, the lack of confidence and the hurt...he was getting it all out in that kiss. Yukina had never felt anything like it before, this kiss felt angry and scared and sad all at once and his hand pressed her into him so close she felt she couldn't breathe...or maybe that was because she had forgotten to! She took a deep breath through her nose and pushed against his chest with enough force to send the message that she wanted his to stop, and he did.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his cheeks bright red as he looked off to the side to avoid looking in her eyes, "I didn't mean to..."

"Don't apologize," Yukina said with a smile, "I just forgot to breathe. I need to catch my breath."

They sat in silence for a little while, both wondering what was going through the other's mind. Yukina was scanning his face, trying to read his expressions, but he just continued to void meeting her gaze and she wondered why.

"Can you kiss me again?" she asked, breaking the silence and finally making him look at her.

"Anytime you want, baby," was his eager reply. Yukina smiled as his right hand came up to cradle the back of her head, his thumb tracing the curve of her ear, that simple touch felt so wonderful to her and she laid her head into his hand and closed her eyes. Kuwabara took the opportunity and leaned in to kiss her, gently this time.

Yukina savored the feeling of his lips on hers, such an intimate thing this kissing. Demons kissed too of course, but only pairs of sophisticated demons of higher classes; anything below D rank usually were mindless animals that treated each other like breeding stock. Yukina was so deeply into the sensation of the kiss that she let her face relax and her lips parted slightly...but her eyes shot open when she felt the unfamiliar slick feeling of tongue making its way through them. She pulled back in shock, her eyes wide.

"What are you doing?" she asked in alarm.

"I...just...I thought you wanted me to?" Kuwabara was flustered and blushing once again, his hand flew back to rub the back of his neck, a tell-tale sign of his nervousness, "You...opened your mouth..."

"I didn't know you were going to lick me!" Yukina said, not meeting his eyes. She felt his body shake as he laughed at her comment.

"It's just a different type of kiss, silly," he informed her, "I should probably have warned you, I guess. I forget you've never even kissed anyone before."

Yukina suddenly felt very shy and embarrassed at his words.

"You're right," she admitted, "Can we...try that again? What do I do?"

"Just...do what feels right," Kuwabara replied simply, shrugging to make his point, "You think way too much."

He was right, Yukina knew, she did tend to let her mind wander quite often. She was determine to focus this time and listen to what her body was telling her. She nodded that she was ready and their lips met again, slowly at first and building back up to that point that had made her jaw drop in the first place. This time, however, Yukina was focusing on what she felt and she was discovering a whole new sensation deep inside her that made her want to wiggle around and relieve it so she did just that.

Kuwabara almost broke the kiss when he felt Yukina wiggle on his lap, but he knew she hadn't done it on purpose so he continued, wanting to at least get past French kissing before they thought about anything else, he had to take this one step at a time and he was damn well not skipping any. He felt her lips relaxing and he gently ran his tongue along her bottom lip to test the waters, and he was pleasantly surprised when she opened her lips a little wider in invitation. That was all he needed.

Yukina gasped sharply at the feeling that shot through her entire body when Kazuma's tongue slid along her teeth, behind her top lip. It started at the root of her hair and traveled down the back of her neck and her spine like a shudder and curled around to pool warmly in the deepest part of her abdomen, causing her to squeeze her thighs together tightly. What was that? She tried so hard to focus on the kiss but the feeling inside her was making her want...more. She was shocked at herself when her own tongue shot out and took control of the kiss, her hands came up and firmly gripped his biceps in a vice-like grip, she raised up onto her knees and placed one on either side of his thighs as she tried desperately to get closer and closer to him. She was listening to her body like he told her to, and this is what it was demanding, she felt the need deep within her to connect as much as possible. Kazuma was making no move to stop her so she felt emboldened that she was doing the right things...until she settled into a wide straddling sit on the top of his thighs and began to wiggle and twist to relieve the feeling that had now made its way from her abdomen to between her legs. One particularly forward jerk of her hips made him grab her arms and push her back quickly, his eyes were closed, face flushed and his jaw slack as his breathing came in heavy, short gasps. Yukina suddenly realized she was breathing the same way.

"Whoa there, cowgirl," Kuwabara laughed lightly, his eyes were sparkling, the gray color of them was nearly lost in the black expanse of his dilated pupils.

"Did I do something wrong?" Yukina asked softly.

"No, no way," he assured her, "You're...doing everything right. Maybe too right."

Yukina cocked her head in confusion.

"What you were going for needs to be for another time," he informed her, "I don't think you're ready yet. I don't even think you really knew what you were doing."

"Of course I did," Yukina defended herself, "I was kissing you and my body was telling me kissing wasn't enough. I wanted to be closer and closer."

"Oh, I know," Kuwabara assured her, "I know exactly how you feel."

Yukina finally realized what he was talking about when she felt a firm twitch underneath her thigh. Her eyes went wide in surprise and she scooted backwards and looked down at his lap.

"Oh, right," she said, sounding slightly weirded out. Curiosity got the best of her and she reached down to poke the now obvious lump in his jeans with her fingertip.

"Wha...don't do that!" Kuwabara laughed, pushing her hand away, "Get up."

Yukina curled her offending finger into her hand, making a fist and stoop up quickly. Kuwabara grunted a little as he stretched his back before standing up. He towered over her as usual and Yukina merely had to tilt her chin down slightly to get a new eyeful of his slightly tented jeans.

"Can I see?" she asked curiously.

Kuwabara cocked an eyebrow, seriously considering it for a second. But he shook his head and turned away from her to readjust and try to relax.

"Why not?" Yukina insisted, crossing her arms and letting her bottom lip pout as he looked over his shoulder at her.

"Because we just had a pretty bad day and we're all kinds of emotional right now," Kuwabara informed her, turning back around so she would take him more seriously, "What you want, what I want, right now...it's a very big choice to make. I want to make sure you're ready and not just riding on an emotional rollercoaster."

"So when would be a good time?" Yukina asked.

"Well...that's up to you," he assured her, "But I know for a fact it's not now. Not right after a fight...or whatever the hell that was today."

Yukina felt ashamed but she nodded in agreement, knowing he was right. Everyone, except for Yusuke, had told her that human mating was a very big deal, an emotional thing that could make or break a relationship, something that affected you deeply. She was in no state of mind to be making informed decisions about their relationship right now except that she wanted them to have one.

"Come on," Kuwabara put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side, "You can help me with some homework!"

Yukina giggled and sat down on the bed next to the desk as Kuwabara pulled his chair back up to the desk and picked out the next group of papers to complete.

"Kazuma?" Yukina piped up, suddenly remembering something she'd forgotten to ask.

"Yeah?"

"What's a roller coaster?"

"Oh my god..."

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Alrighty! Relationship is set completely, no more second guessing. Time to move forward :) Glad we got some closure on that.

Read, review and let me know any further chapter suggestions you all would like to see!