Chapter 9: Daria Digs

"I should have known better and remained my standard, tried and true lazy self, Jane." Daria declared, once more supine on Jane's bed as Jane painted. Breeze from windows which Daria insisted on opening wide stirred the auburn hair hanging off the foot of the bed.

"I had Mai coach me and I practiced and played hard. How can they believe I threw a lousy gym game? Well, not without a nice bribe anyway. Just to get material for a Melody Powers story? Just to laugh at them all when we lost? I mean, I'm sadistic, sure, but I've got more style than that. And Melody doesn't do volleyball; she plays rugby. That's it. For the rest of my life, I'm swearing off all physical activity more strenuous than lifting a Giganto-sized Ultra Cola to my lips."

"Don't forget eventually lifting your giganto-sized body off the couch," Jane added a few strokes to her work which she was secreting from Daria for the moment.

"Daria," Jane began. "I don't believe you intentionally threw the game…"

"Intentionally?" Daria turned over to regard her friend intensely. "So you think I lost subconsciously?"

Daria continued with more vehemence, "I slipped on something. Mai backs me up; she saw it."

Jane let out an exasperated sigh. "Daria, if I didn't know you had good reasons to be practically the most paranoid person I know, except maybe Penny, I'd be so pissed off at you by now…" She shook her head.

"Let's review a few things," Jane said as she vigorously put a few more swabs of color on her canvas. "You started this whole become a volleyball ace thing to show up Coach Morris, right?"

"That," Daria admitted slowly. "And to score all those lucrative volleyball endorsement contracts."

"So you showed Morris even skinny slacker pipsqueaks can succeed. I don't think Morris really cares but that's something else. But in the process didn't you actually come to like to play?"

Daria buried her head in a pillow and squeaked an indistinct answer.

"What's that, Morgendorffer?" Jane prodded.

She raised her head. "Yeah, I like volleyball. Okay, there, how much hush money do you want for your silence?"

Jane relished that tiny victory with a small fiendish smile. "Maybe just pose au naturale for me sometime. Yeah, that's actually a good pose right now, Daria. On your tummy. Hmm…maybe reading a book. With your boots by the bed." Jane put the non-business end of her brush under her chin and regarded her chum critically.

Daria shuddered. "In your dreams, Lane."

Jane pursued her topic. "Sure someday. Now then, don't you actually feel better now, Daria? After a couple weeks of consistent exercise. More alert. Sleep better at night. All those good things from a little clean living? Oh, and you can eat more pizza too."

"Okay, you got me there too." Daria admitted.

"And let's not forget probably the best thing to come out of pursuing a volleyball career." Jane put her brushes in a jar of solvent and carefully turned the easel toward Daria. "Lookee, no touchee. Paint's still wet."

Daria's eyes widened at the scene on the wide, long canvas. Sunlight was streaming into a generic cobblestoned courtyard of a medieval castle. Diving onto the stones was a female figure in a Lawndale High volleyball uniform, unmistakably Daria. The ball was inches from the figure but Jane's technique was so dramatic that the viewer could not tell whether Daria had successfully dug for the ball or was just beginning her dig. Standing behind a white line on the stones was Mai in gleaming silvery full plate armor. Her long black hair flowed from a shining, winged open-faced helm. A sword of mythical size and design was strapped to her side along with a quiver of arrows. She held a strung bow in her left hand. Mai was looking at Daria approvingly.

"And you got to know Mai," Jane concluded.

"Wow," Daria could only say. She got off the bed and found the best spot to take in Jane's latest.

"And to think this was inspired just by Trent finding a dusty, old bow in the basement when Mystik Spiral was moving speakers around to try to sound less sucky." Jane gestured toward something in a corner.

Daria went over and found a curved archery bow laminated of several shades of wood. It wasn't dusty now although a frayed obviously worn-out string was hanging loosely from it. Daria picked it up surprised at how light was the nearly as tall as she length of wood. She turned to Jane while trying to figure out how the unfamiliar thing worked.

"Um, Daria. I quit girl scouts before I ever shot a bow but even I know you're holding it backwards." Daria reddened and flipped the narrow tips away from her body.

"And upside down." Jane concluded with a smirk as Daria turned the bow's ends over.

"I don't know who got that thing," Jane went on. "Maybe Dad or Wind trying to get in touch with our few drops of Native American blood. Trent and I looked around but never found any arrows."

Daria found herself holding the bow out in what she imagined was the correct stance. She found her eyes following the flowing length of the shaft as it curved towards her then gently away at the tips.

Jane tilted her head and considered her friend looking the bow over again and again. "Just take it, Daria. It looks like it's made for you."

"Take it?" Daria said surprised. "Oh, no. I can't, it's too beautiful. And it has to be worth something. Don't you want to learn to use it, Jane? Or Trent?"

"Nah, Trent's weapon is his sound and he'd probably fall asleep and shoot his foot. Me, I'm an expert in the secret Ninja art of throwing loaded paint brushes. Just take it and terrorize Quinn."

"You drive a hard bargain, Jane. I won't argue any longer."

"Well, consider it a down payment for that nude on her tummy pose some day." Jane smirked again.

"Arg, okay, first order of business: buy a new string. Then some suction cup arrows and learn how to hunt you and Quinn."

Daria sat on the bed and laid the bow across her lap. She stroked it as she changed the subject. "Speaking of Queen Battledore, congratulations on your fine badminton triumph over the evil forces of Sandi and Tori."

Jane bowed graciously. "Yes! And I almost forgot the big news about Her Grace. Did you know Ms. Li is a badminton nut? She watched the final match between us and Sandi and Tori and got all excited. She wants the four of us to compete against her rival principals' schools. Apparently the other podunks in the tri-county area have doubles teams starting up."

"She probably has side bets going. Hold out for a share or threaten to throw a game. I apparently am an expert on that." Daria advised.

"Oh, that's not all," Jane said gleefully. "Li thinks she has the best team arrangements figured out: me partnered with Tori…"

Daria sat up straighter and concluded happily deadpan, "Which means Quinn and Sandi. Together. A team. Sandi and Quinn. How much is the attendance fee for games? I need to start saving up. I'd pay a dollar and a quarter for the privilege of watching those two teamed up. Hell, you could charge me for watching Quinn trying not to kill Sandi with a racket at practice."

Jane went on, "I believe Quinn's first words upon hearing of her new teammate were: 'But aubergine is so not me.' Actually, I think Li's a smart bunny in this case at least. Tori and I suit each other better even than Quinn and me. And the same for Sandi and Quinn's styles of play. Provided they don't run out of breath arguing."

Daria glanced at the clock. "Mom and Dad are off on some retreat. They felt guilty about leaving Quinn and me alone for the weekend so we each got a wad of cash. Let's go back to my place and order pizzas with every combination we can think of. Working that out will be good for your math, Jane."

As the girls headed out Daria looked at the painting again. "Are you going to show that to Mai Ling sometime?"

Jane looked down embarrassed. "I actually got her permission to paint something with her in it. I'll, uh, show it to her sometime, sure. You can be there too, of course."

"Oh, so you got her permission but didn't mention it to me, hrm? I have a feeling there's something more going on here, Lane."

Jane protested her innocence and utter and complete lack of ulterior motives most of the few blocks from Casa Lane to Daria's house. The bow felt so natural in Daria's hand that she almost forgot she was carrying it.