1st beta: Heather

Final beta: Erica

In the Dark: Part II

Chapter 16: And Then There was Nido

"You've committed treason," Loki says they emerge unscathed through the mountain pass. Compared to Svartalfheim, the sunshine of Asgard hurts Eleanor's eyes and she squints out at the water. "Odin is unlikely to forgive that. It is the very reason I myself must be dead."

Now that they are so close to the palace, Loki's attempts to change her mind get more desperate but she won't hear it. This is the right thing to do and she will not allow anyone to think she's dead.

"Odin doesn't really give a shit about me, especially without you," she says again. "And the universe didn't end. I'm sure he'll get over it. Worst case he throws me in jail for a bit until Thor gets back and gets me out. No big deal."

"No big deal?" Loki sputters.

"It's this or you stop pretending to be dead," Eleanor insists. "You pick."

Loki grumbles and pouts and refuses to talk to her for the remainder of the journey towards the palace. He takes over steering the craft and Eleanor is thankful because fatigue is catching up with her once more.

Despite his stony silence, he directs her head to his lap when she moves to lie down and runs his fingers through her hair as her eyes drift shut.

Sleeping through the Convergence did not leave her feeling rested. The relief and joy of a living Loki is wearing off, letting emotional and physical exhaustion take over. The danger that has plagued them for nearly two years since Bragi appeared with his cryptic dreams is finally gone, but the weight of that is replaced by sorrow and loss.

The leather of Loki's pants does a terrible job absorbing her tears. She drifts in and out of consciousness until Loki gently shakes her awake.

"We are nearing the city," Loki says. "You will need to steer us to the docks. I must no longer be visible."

Eleanor nods but the moment he disappears from her sight she starts to panic. All she can see is Loki, grey and lifeless, her name on his lips and bleeding from the gaping hole in his gut.

"Eleanor." His breath is her ear, his hands against her cheeks. She takes a deep breath and Loki's hands travel down her neck then arms before taking her hands and placing them on the rudder.

With a heavy sigh, Eleanor leans back against Loki's chest, comforted by his solid, real, living weight behind her, and allows him to steer the craft.

"Damn," Eleanor says when she catches sight of the twenty or so Einherjar awaiting them on the docks. "I was really hoping to go home and shower before getting taken into custody."

Two craft similar to the one Loki drives with Eleanor's hand flank them as they slow to navigate the narrow waterways of the city.

"I do not like this," Loki hisses in her ear.

"Yeah, well me neither," Eleanor whispers right back. "But it's too late for anything else now."

Loki wraps an invisible arm around her waist. Despite his obvious tension, Eleanor is too exhausted to care about the current predicament.

The current predicament that Eleanor insisted upon.

They pull up to the docks and Eleanor scrambles out of the skiff, followed closely by her invisible husband. He keeps a hand on her shoulder.

The Lieutenant Einherjar – head of Odin's guard – himself is here to greet her.

"Weapons," he says.

Eleanor dutifully hands over her sword and various other knives Loki stashed all over her body, hidden in her armor. She's thankful that she never had to draw them. The large pile she produces is somewhat humorous and Eleanor bites back the hysterical urge to laugh.

"We did not expect you to return unaccompanied," says the lieutenant.

"Yeah," Eleanor chokes out the word. She is supposed to be a grieving widow. Imagining Loki's grey skin is enough to close up her throat. "Thor and Jane went to Midgard. I'm assuming they were successful as the universe did not end. I… I have news for the Allfather."

Loki's hand tightens on her shoulder. It gives her the strength to lie.

"Follow," says the lieutenant.

She follows.

They walk through the city and Eleanor sees the destruction caused by the Dark Elves. Confined to the palace, she did not understand the scope of the devastation, but she gets it now.

In the few days since the brief invasion, nothing has been done to begin the cleanup and people huddle close to open flames to stay warm. Poverty has never been an issue on Asgard, and now it is a shock to see the homeless.

"What's being done to help those who lost their homes?" Eleanor asks the lieutenant.

"Nothing as of yet, Princess."

"No shelters? No assistance from the crown or food donations? Nothing?"

The lieutenant frowns and shakes his head. Odin's neglect appalls Eleanor and she stays silent for the remainder of the journey. She lets the pain of Frigga's death and the plight of these shockingly welcoming people wash over her, tears falling unbidden down her cheeks.

She may not be a widow, but she grieves just the same.

"Leave us," Odin snaps at the Einherjar.

The lieutenant gives Eleanor a long look that she has no hope of deciphering before he exits along with the rest. Loki's grip on her shoulder tightens and she's thankful that she is not actually alone with the Allfather. She's never seen him look so angry and so broken. Eleanor tries to dry her tears as he scowls down at her.

The king makes her feel so small.

"You've returned from the Dark World unharmed, I see." He does not sound particularly happy about this fact. There is something wild in his gaze and it scares her. She is suddenly sure that her death would bring him great joy. Although Odin has never been a fan of Eleanor's, the hate apparent in his gaze is a new development.

"No," she managed.

"No?"

"No, I haven't returned unharmed."

"My eyes spot no injury."

Eleanor smiles ruefully. "It's not the kind of hurt you can see. It's…" The tears overcome her once more as she pictures Loki's lifeless eyes and grey skin. Those two hours when he was truly dead to her could easily have stretched to encompass the rest of her life.

"Speak, traitor," Odin insists.

"It's…" She digs the heel of her hand into her chest. "I… He's dead. He's dead."

Odin bristles and then seems to cave in on himself, hanging his head between his legs.

Even before her garbled announcement, Odin looked wrong. His rumpled and disheveled appearance is odd compared to his usually perfect regality. Now he jiggles his knee and tugs at his messy, greasy hair.

"My son?" he murmurs.

"What?" Eleanor asks. "No. Not Thor. I'm pretty positive that Thor saved the universe."

"Of course he did!" Odin screams and leaps to his feet.

The sudden change in his demeanor from heartbreak to violence has Eleanor stepping back, away from the terrifying, wrecked king. She hits Loki's chest.

"You refer to my younger son. Loki."

Behind her the son in question inhales sharply. This is the first time Eleanor's ever heard Odin claim Loki as his son. Pity he couldn't manage it before Loki "died."

"Um, yes," Eleanor replies. Her voice cracks and Odin's face twists with fury.

"You dare grieve before me?" screams the king, descending the steps below his throne. He makes a menacing figure, reminding her a bit of Loki at his very worst, when his mind was so far gone. "You dare shed these tears when you are single-handedly responsible for the demise of half my family!"

Eleanor gapes as Odin bears down on her, stunned by this recent development. Loki tugs on her elbow, but she is too shocked to flee from the definitely enraged and maybe actually insane king.

"What?" she squeaks as Loki forces her to back away.

"You let him leave! You led him to his death!"

She can't really argue with this but can hardly believe that Odin cares so much. She seems to have misjudged him, in more ways than one. There is madness in his eyes and Eleanor decides that this was an extremely bad idea.

"You killed him, you traitorous whore, just as you turned Frigga against me. She loathed me at the end and it was all your doing! You used her, learned from her, and after you had the love of the people you let her die so you could fill her position. Well, you miscalculated. I see you for the snake you are, and for your crimes I will take your head."

Loki is in front of her now, slowly inching her back.

She recalls a forgotten moment of conversation, Odin's strange comments after the funeral. What seemed like honorable and right a couple hours ago has suddenly become extremely stupid. She should have listened to Loki and not come back. There had to have been some other way to let Thor and Jane know she is safe.

"No, no, there can be no trial." Odin mutters to himself now, his eyes twitching in ever direction. "You've bewitched the people thoroughly, but I remain immune. I alone."

Eleanor scrambles back as Odin lowers his staff, pointing it at what he thinks to be her chest when it is really the son he is mourning. Loki flashes into visibility before her, palms raised. Green light bursts from his hands just as purple shoots from Odin's staff. The magic seems to hang between the two gods, fusing together and crackling.

"Loki?" gasps Odin.

Loki drops his hands but it is too late. Something about the combination of this magic causes it to grow into a great cloud that engulfs the Allfather. Eleanor pulls Loki out of harm's way and they take shelter behind a column as it dissipates into nothingness, revealing Odin where he lies on the ground, completely motionless.

"Well, damn," Loki remarks, prodding Odin with his boot.

"Damn! That's a bit of understatement don't you think? Did we kill him? Holy fuck, Loki. Did we kill him?"

"Not intentionally," he replies, ignoring Eleanor's hysteria for a moment to examine the king in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"What happened?" she whispers, tugging on Loki shoulder. "Holy shit, Loki, what was that? With him accusing me of all those horrible things and that magical super storm?"

"He'd gone mad, Eleanor," Loki replies. When he finds a pulse he cannot determine if he feels relief or annoyance. Perhaps their lives would be easier if the king were dead, but Loki truly does not want to be the one to do him in, despite all that has occurred. "I would know madness. Grief-induced insanity, I suppose."

"And what the fuck was with the magical cloud of doom?"

"I protected you," he says, replying the scene in his mind as he struggles to understand it. "Something in the magic went awry. My spell combined with his spell combined with the power of our bond. I know not, but he lives."

"Oh, thank God."

"No need to thank me."

"Really? Really? Does now really seem like an appropriate time for that joke! We almost killed the fucking Protector of the Nine Realms and you are making jokes!"

She is right. This is no time for jokes as there are guards approaching. Eleanor turns, eyes wide and horrified as the footsteps become more threatening. With a wave of his hand he cloaks Odin's body and shifts his own.

"Loki, what do we— Fuck!" She turns, stumbling in her shock when she sees him not as he is, but as Odin.

"What is the meaning of this interruption!" Loki booms, matching his false father's speech patterns perfectly. He places a hand on Eleanor's shoulder, hoping to prevent her from completely losing all composure at this most inopportune of times. She is tense and shaking under his palm.

"We heard shouts, my king." It's an unusual thing, being addressed with so much respect, and a thrill of satisfaction runs up his spine when the guards fall to one knee, fists crossed over their hearts in salute. "We were concerned."

"You heard the cries of a grieving father and the recently widowed," Loki says with Odin's voice. "Leave my daughter-in-law and me to mourn in peace."

With murmured apologies they back out of the hall.

Loki eyes the throne while Eleanor eyes Loki. With a wave of his hand he is once more himself and Odin appears, unconscious at his feet.

"So, uh, what now?" asks his wife.

"An excellent inquiry. And one I have no answer for as of yet."

"Well," Eleanor murmurs, taking his hand. "We certainly can't tell anyone that you fought with him. Can we just leave him here? Pretend like its Odinsleep or whatever?"

Loki kneels, prying Odin's eyelid open. The Allfather's eye is blank, dull, not sharp and aware as they have been in the past when the Odinsleep was upon him. Loki senses magic in him whereas in the past the sleep has left him as vulnerable as a mortal. "This is no Odinsleep."

"Well, fuck."

Her nerves are apparent in her tone and she is fraying, spiraling into hysteria. Since Mother's murder, Eleanor has been nothing but strong. Still, she is unaccustomed to such violence, such heartache, and she nears the end of what she is capable of bearing.

Loki is too, come to think of it.

"What about Heimdall? I know he can't see us, but can he see Odin all passed out?" Eleanor asks.

"Heimdall has not been able to see Odin in thousands of years," Loki says with a snort. "Where do you think I learned to cloak myself from the gatekeeper's sight?"

"Okay. Okay. Good. But seriously, Loki. What the hell do we do now?"

In the end they spirit Odin's unconscious body to their rooms. No one is likely to disturb them there and Loki would be near Odin when he wakes – if he wakes – to assess the extent of the damage they caused here.

In a reversal of their normal reactions to stress, it is his wife that now paces the length of their living area. Each time she passes the doors to the hall she checks the locks. After the third pass Loki gives up reminding her that he's magically sealed them.

Loki sits by the Allfather. They've laid him out on a lounge and although the king breathes steadily, he does not appear well. His cheeks are ashen, his eyes twitching beneath closed lids. In this state the figure that was always so imposing in Loki's life is small and feeble.

"Should we get a healer?" Eleanor asks, braiding her hair as she walks.

"No, not yet. Not while he remains stable enough. He saw me, Eleanor, and we cannot let him go," Loki says.

"Oh, so now we are adding kidnapping to our list of crimes?" Eleanor says. Her hysteria has not abated, but neither has it worsened, and for this Loki is grateful.

"I was already a kidnapper, as you should very well remember."

"Right. Fuck. Loki, your mother would not have wanted you to hurt him."

He closes his eyes and battles the despair that threatens to drown him. When Thor approached him with his insane plan for revenge, Loki shut off his grief, refusing to acknowledge this most painful of losses until a time when his attentions were not required elsewhere.

Eleanor makes it difficult to keep the anguish at bay and if he thinks on it too greatly then he will not be able to properly deal with the unconscious, mad Allfather situation in a way that keeps Eleanor safe.

"I know, my love."

His words appease Eleanor for a moment before she takes up her maniacal pacing once more. He attempts to find the proper words to soothe her more thoroughly, but there truly is nothing to say, for Loki can offer no solution until Odin awakes.

If Odin awakes.

"Don't be mad," Eleanor says, frantically braiding her hair.

These words never fail to make him mad.

"What?" he snaps. "What have you not told me?"

"I didn't intentionally not tell you. I really, truly forgot until Odin flipped out."

"What, Eleanor?"

"Right after the funeral Odin blamed me for her death. He said I used her to get the love of the people and then let her die. It was pretty nuts and he's obviously been teetering on the edge since she died," confesses his wife. The words spill out of her, her guilt obvious. "A lot was going on and I forgot and I'm sorry. If I would have been thinking clearly I wouldn't have made us come back here, but I wasn't; so here we are, and now we are just fucked and I am sorry."

Loki sighs and although he wishes he had all the information before handing themselves over to the Allfather, he just does not have it in him to be angry with his wife.

"It's all right, darling. What's done is done. Let us not dwell on what we cannot change."

Eleanor visibly relaxes and continues her pacing.

Several silent moments later, there is a brisk knock on the door and Eleanor lets out a little squeal, turning to look at Loki with wide eyes.

"Holy shit, what should I do?" she whispers, gesturing wildly towards the door.

"Answer and do try to ask naturally," he murmurs, waving his hand and cloaking himself and Odin from sight.

Loki moves to hover close behind Eleanor, prepared to ward off any attack, but the servant is without weapon or armor.

"Oh hi, Neela," Eleanor greets.

"My princess." The servant bows. "I am so very sorry for your loss."

"Yeah," Eleanor says, tearing up. "Asgard lost a wonderful queen."

"Yes," replies the servant, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Of course. But I was referring to your husband, Prince Loki. Word of his demise reached the servants quarters just an hour past."

"Right. My husband. I am a grieving widow." Eleanor does not sound like a grieving widow. "I haven't really… processed the whole thing, you know? I think I'm in shock."

The poor servant obviously does not understand Eleanor's little declaration, but she nods anyway.

"Of course, Princess," she murmurs, bowing slightly and presenting a folded piece of parchment. "From the Lady Sif."

"Oh," says Eleanor, taking it. "Where is Sif? Why didn't she just come in herself?"

"She is imprisoned, Princess. For treason. If I might be so bold, I was rather surprised to have found you here. I surely expected to find you in a cell of your own."

"Right. For treason," Eleanor says, picking at the wax seal. "Well, here I am. Thanks, Neela."

"Will you be requiring anything further on this day, my princess?"

"Nope. I'm good. Thanks."

Eleanor shut the door in the servant girl's face. She turns and barely manages to conceal her surprised shriek when Loki materializes just in front of her.

"Sif is in jail," Eleanor says, pushing the note into Loki's chest unread. She takes up her pacing once more as he unfolds the paper.

"As are Heimdall, Fandral, and Volstagg," Loki murmurs as he reads. "And your father, but that is a different matter. He pays for past crimes while the others are relatively innocent."

"I guess it makes sense with all the treason and all. Odin was going to let them out after Thor won, right?"

"I know not, Eleanor," he replies, continuing to read. "When you spoke to him he was not in his right mind. You heard him before he attacked you. If we did not arrive when we did he very well could have killed them all. They are being held on the block reserved for those sentenced to die."

"Fuck," Eleanor mutters. "Still, this is a bit of poetic justice. Maybe now he'll have a little empathy for your break with reality. If he ever gets his mind right, that is."

Loki sighs as he finishes reading.

"How did someone on death row manage to get me a letter?" Eleanor asks.

"It appears that the guards and servants have a better understanding of Thor's actions and they sympathize with those who assisted. There is great hope that upon news of Thor's success all those who are being held on treason charges will be released. Would you like to read this? Sif is rather genuine as she offers the deepest condolences for your dearly departed husband."

"Gah," Eleanor says, covering her ears. "No. I don't want to think of you dead. That was seriously the worst two hours of my life."

Despite her words Eleanor grabs the letter, her eyes moving across the paper as Loki rests his hand on the small of her back, hoping to provide a bit of comfort.

"This is rather sweet, coming from someone who hates you," Eleanor comments.

Loki hums his agreement, glancing at Odin's prone frame once more to ensure that he remains unconscious.

"Dude," Eleanor says with sudden revelation. "You've got to do it."

"Pardon?"

"Right. Exactly. You have to pardon them. Put on your Odin face and get them out of jail."

"I thought you were generally against me putting on Odin's face."

"I am. But you're right. The guy's lost his marbles, so you've got to get them out."

"And leave you here with Odin unprotected? I think not."

"Can't you set up some sort of magic that prevents him from coming into our bedroom or something and keeps him from leaving? I can just hide in there if he wakes up."

Loki is wary, but after a few more moments of arguing, Eleanor wins. As she usually does.

It is Heimdall that he first removes from the white cells. It is a risk, as the gatekeeper is extremely powerful and close to the Allfather, but Loki's magic is strong, as is his acting, and they reach the end of the rainbow bridge without incident.

Heimdall confirms what Loki already believed to be true. Thor vanquished Malekith and contained the Aether, keeping the universe safe a bit longer.

"He now, ah, celebrates," Heimdall says, apparently uncomfortable.

Loki is suddenly very relived that he and Eleanor both are cloaked from the gatekeeper's sight.

"No more details, please, Heimdall," Loki says with Odin's voice, backing out of the Bifrost pavilion. "That is already more than a father needs know."

Heimdall chuckles.

"Return to your post, good gatekeeper, and let us not speak of this alleged treason again."

Loki returns to the white cells, releasing the warriors there but giving no apologies or explanations. A king need not offer apologies or explanations, but Loki as Odin does make it clear that the warriors are expected to return to their standard duties as if they were never in jail. They are relieved to hear of Thor's victory and relieved to be free.

They thank him for his benevolence and there are no traces of contempt in their tone. Loki quite enjoys this business masquerading as the Allfather. This respect is a genuine pleasure and something he is used to receiving only from Eleanor.

Next he meets with the elders of the council, once so eager to see him spend a century on the Isle of Solitude. They seem surprised when Loki uses Odin's voice to express joy at Thor's victory.

As Loki continues to converse with those politically closest to Odin, he becomes more convinced that the Allfather slipped from sanity in the days since his mother's murder. They treat him with great caution, speaking to him as if he is fragile and irrational.

Loki skims their thoughts. Several remember the fear they felt when Odin declared that every Asgardian would fall to insure that the Dark Elves were exterminated also. They thought Odin wanted Asgard to burn, that Odin sought to die in the onslaught.

Their relief when presented with Loki's composed portrayal of the Allfather is great.

When Loki returns to their rooms, Eleanor appears at his side immediately, taking his hand as she nods at the Allfather, awake and on the ground.

Odin sits on the floor with his legs crossed beneath him. Cradled in his hands is the tiny gold inkpot Loki's tossed and caught repeatedly on his very worst days of confinement. The Allfather is running his fingers along the surface as if memorizing each little groove is the single most important task he's ever been faced with.

"What's this, then?" Loki asks, placing himself between Odin and Eleanor. The Allfather doesn't even glance in their direction. He continues to intently study the inkpot with a look of absolute concentration that Loki finds disquieting.

"He hasn't said a word," Eleanor says, appearing as concerned as Loki is. "I think we broke his brain."

As crude as her assessment may be, it certainly appears accurate.

With small, cautious steps they approach the King of Asgard. Eleanor clings to his arm as they tiptoe across the room, stopping some five odd feet from the unusual sight.

"Odin?" Eleanor manages.

She gets no response.

"Father?" Loki tries, forgetting himself for a moment. His tone is young and worried and deeply shameful, but Odin recognizes it, turning his head towards them with a speed that gets a startled squeak out of Eleanor. Her fingers dig into his arm.

Odin stares at Loki for a long, painful moment, squinting. The harsh gaze brings him back to his childhood and it is a struggle for Loki to meet Odin's gaze, but he does so.

"Blue," says the Allfather. It is an accusation and Loki recoils.

"Fuck," mutters Eleanor, rubbing his back.

"Allfather," Loki says, forcing himself to continue. "Can you hear me? What happened to you?"

Odin says nothing but he continues to look at Loki with revulsion and fear. Loki thought he was done caring about the Allfather's opinion. Apparently this was a lie he told himself because suddenly Loki is a child and he's not enough. Suddenly he is hanging off the rainbow bridge, rejected once more but this time he knows why. It can be summed up in one word.

Blue.

"What do we do?" asks his wife.

She is starting at Odin with the same look of revulsion and fear Odin gives Loki. He strives to focus on Eleanor's opinion and her boundless love, rather than the Allfather and his hate.

"Loki, I really think he needs a healer," Eleanor says. "We broke his brain."

"I suppose you are correct," Loki concedes.

He steps towards Odin, planning to pull the king to his feet, but Odin whimpers and recoils, dropping the inkpot. The sturdy little thing finally cracks, leaving a trickle of black as it rolls.

"How are we going to do this?" Eleanor asks, dropping to clean the mess. Odin does not flinch from the songbird and he very nearly smiles at her, whistling a tune Loki knows. The melody is from one of Eleanor's snogs and it indicates Odin remembers her.

He knows Loki is truly blue. He knows Eleanor sings. It hardly seems fair.

"Loki?" Eleanor asks, cradling the broken pieces of the inkwell in her hands. Without thought he waves a hand to fix the damage, siphoning the ink from Eleanor's fingers.

"Odin will not be Odin," Loki murmurs. "We need to wait for nightfall."

"Nido? Do you know who you are, Nido?"

Odin sits disguised as a palace guard on the same golden examination table where they learned that Jane was infected with the Aether. He says nothing as the healer shines a light in his eyes, but he gives Eleanor a significant look, as if he knows exactly what's going on and he's pissed about the whole damn thing.

He also keeps staring at the corner just behind Eleanor where invisible Loki must be camped out.

"Has he said anything at all, Princess Eleanor?" asks the healer. She looks so young for a doctor, younger than Eleanor, but she is centuries and centuries old.

"He said 'blue,'" Eleanor replies.

"As in the color?"

"Yeah. I don't know why." A lie. "But he also whistled a song of mine."

"That's a positive. He has some awareness of his surroundings. Where did you find him, again?" asks the healer.

"Wandering around in the city. We were separated when the Dark Elves invaded. Last I saw he got caught up in this crazy explosion of magic. It was like two spells fusing and backfiring or something. I thought he was dead."

"I see," says the healer, using that same tone as doctors on Earth when they are silently judging their patients.

"My husband is a little over protective," Eleanor feels the need to explain. "He likes to yell at the guards outside our room until they follow me around."

This is not a lie. Her heart hurts when she thinks of Ido.

"Your husband was over protective," murmurs the healer, pushing gently on Nido's (Odin's) shoulder until he lays back. Golden particles of light gather around the healer's hands as she lifts them above Odin's (Nido's) head, using magic to examine his brain.

"Huh?" says Eleanor, somewhat fascinated by the process. Jane called it science but it seems too beautiful for that.

"Was, not is," she whispers. "The past tense. I am truly sorry for your loss."

Eleanor stares blankly before she remembers that Loki is supposed to be dead.

"Right, was over protective," Eleanor replies, studiously not thinking about the terrible time when she thought he was gone forever.

"Did you mourn?"

There is something strange about this conversation and Eleanor's eyes narrow as she studies the statuesque blonde healer a bit more critically.

"It happened like a day and a half ago," Eleanor snaps. "It doesn't even feel real and I'm dreading the moment it does. In the last week I've lost the woman who was both mentor and mother as well as the love of my life. I'm going to mourn until I stop breathing."

"Of course, Princess."

"Did you know him?" she asks, ever curious of his life before the fall.

"I… it was a long time ago."

While the healer is busy tinkering around in Odin's head, Eleanor turns to glare at where she thinks her invisible husband is probably lurking. "You had sex with her!" she mouths in the corner.

An invisible hand reaches out to stroke her hair and Eleanor yelps, nearly falling off her stool.

"Princess?"

"I'm fine." Invisible Loki is still touching her, groping her more, and Eleanor's having a very hard time sounding semi-normal.

It's hard for her to swing semi-normal on Asgard, given the way she talks and thinks and feels, but invisible Loki is making it impossible.

"Was it true then?"

Loki's lips are gently sucking on that sensitive patch of skin just behind her earlobe while his ex-girlfriend is examining his father for a broken brain – a brain they broke.

Her life is so fucking weird.

"Is what true?" Eleanor asks. By some miracle, her voice does not hitch and she does not wiggle in her seat.

"Was he truly of Jotunheim?" It's barely a whisper. Eleanor almost misses it, drowned out by the sound of Loki's breath in her ear. "I was there when it first became known, in the cell with him when he screamed of his true parentage for all to hear. I believe he thought I was his father. His true father."

Loki huffs in Eleanor's ear. The sound is annoyed.

"When did this happen?" Eleanor asks. Loki bites her earlobe and then covers her mouth to muffle her yelp.

"When he was first brought back from Midgard by the Crown Prince after his treasonous attempt to rule your realm," says the healer.

Eleanor moans in a way that she hopes comes off as acknowledgement. Loki is doing sinful things with his invisible hands and invisible lips.

"Will there be a funeral?" asks the healer, as the man they are supposed to be mourning sucks at Eleanor's neck.

"Oh," Eleanor manages, amazed with her own ability to keep her shit together. "I hadn't really thought on it. Maybe just something with the family. Thor and I."

Loki's touch miraculously keeps the memories at bay, but they are there, lingering on the periphery of her mind constantly – Loki's face, grey and lifeless, the gaping hole, Thor's anguish screams and Loki's "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Eleanor leans back into Loki, solid and alive behind her.

"And the Allfather?" ask the healer. "Will he attend?"

Eleanor looks at Odin disguised as the guard on the healer's slab. "Sure. The family. But nothing public. "

"Ah, I see." She sounds disappointed. Eleanor is both happy that someone loved Loki once upon a time and irrationally jealous, but mostly she just wants her invisible husband to rip off her dress.

"Your guard has experienced profound tragedy," says the healer whose name Eleanor really must learn at some point. Loki stops with his invisible groping to listen to the diagnosis. "These hurts were amplified by the magical anomaly you witnessed and now his mind protects itself. It is a measure unique to the Asgardian physiology, this ability to retreat into one's mind. A defense mechanism, as it were."

"Like an off switch?" asks Eleanor.

"That sounds accurate, yes. It is exceedingly rare. I've read of it only."

"Shit," mutters Eleanor, making the healer smile.

"Now his mind protects itself. While he heals he will be like this: childlike. Simple."

"And how long will that take? The healing."

The healer powers down her magic and helps Nido the Guard sit up. She gives him a small sweet and he tries to chew the hard candy as if he's never had anything in his mouth before.

"Perhaps never," the healer replies. "But time is without end. His mind will heal when it heals. When he is prepared for it to do so. In all likelihood, when he does once more possess a sense of self, he will be greatly different than he was before. Again, it is not often we see such injuries and no two are ever the same."

Odin finally gets the hang of eating his candy. The healer soothes back his hair.

"Did you do this whirly brain test on Loki?" Eleanor asks, ignoring her husband's fingers as they dig into her shoulders.

"No," says the healer with a rueful smile. "He would not allow us near him. The strength of his delusions, both visual and auditory, was unlike anything any of the healers had experienced before. He was unable to find peace like Nido, like Asgardians are able to do after great terror and heartbreak combine."

"Huh," says Eleanor. She can tell by Loki's rigid stance at her back that he hates this topic and that he's so ready to leave.

"There is no literature on Jotunn ailments of the mind, but since the prince displayed such symptoms I've been studying Midgardian mental disorders in my free time. Fascinating."

Loki pokes Eleanor in the back, showing no signs of stopping, and she reluctantly gets off her stool.

"Well, if I ever break my brain you're the one to see about it," Eleanor says.

"Indeed, Princess," she replies with a warm smile.

When Eleanor reaches for Odin's hand, he takes it.

"And I would like to see Nido in a fortnight to catalogue any changes."

"Of course."

There are secret passageways all over the palace and of course Loki's had them memorized since he was the Asgardian equivalent of twelve.

They use the one connecting Loki's rooms to his parent's absurdly decadent living quarters now.

Eleanor can picture Loki as a little kid, traversing this dark, creepy hallway when nightmares of Frost Giants kept him from sleep. Frigga would pull him into bed, ignoring the grumbling Allfather, assuring her son that he was safe and loved and that Frost Giants aren't all bad, their children probably have bad dreams about Asgardian warriors, too. The practice would continue until Odin had enough, telling Loki real men face their fears and do not come crawling to their mother at every little bump in the dark. Just look at Thor! He has not feared his dreams since he was a babe! Frigga would be pissed at her husband's shitty parenting, and on nights with blizzards she would go to Loki, claiming to be too scared to sleep.

Eleanor wants to ask her husband if any of this is accurate, but they are not talking about Frigga, not until they have a few spare moments to properly mourn her.

But Eleanor thinks of her constantly, forgetting every few hours that the queen is dead. But then she remembers and the pain cripples her once more, as damaging and sharp as it was the moment Eleanor rounded the corner in time to see that bastard stick his blade in Frigga's gut.

Just like he did to Loki. Only her husband survived. Miraculously, her husband survived.

After climbing a seemingly endless flight of crumbling stone steps in the dark, Loki pushes through a door that opens directly into his parent's bedroom. It is massive and golden and she's only been in here once before when Frigga wanted Eleanor's opinion on a dress.

Loki does not linger, moving through the room as quickly as possible and muttering about setting up a bed for them in the library. Loki does not want to be here, a sentiment Eleanor shares, but they can't risk leaving Odin alone to wander off, wearing his own face. Even with Loki's magic keeping him confined, they will sleep in this tower tonight.

"Okay, Odin," Eleanor says, pushing the door closed behind her. It is disguised as a full-length mirror. Eleanor absolutely does not imagine Frigga checking her appearance in it. "Let's get some sleep, yeah?"

The Allfather gives her a solemn little nod and putters around the room, collecting pajamas before shutting himself in the bathroom. Eleanor is extremely grateful that the king is self sufficient in the basic hygiene department, as helping him bathe and shit would be completely traumatizing.

Eleanor waits a few minutes, trying not to think of the woman who once lived here, until Odin is back, crawling into bed. He shimmies under the covers before looking expectantly between Eleanor and the light.

"Oh right," she says, waving her hand and plunging the room into darkness. "Goodnight, Odin."

He whistles at her in reply.

The royal living quarters fill a whole tower and Eleanor moves downstairs to the circular level of the suite that makes up Frigga's personally library. The tables and various lounge chairs are gone now, replaced with a copy of their green bed from their own rooms a tower over.

Loki sits on the edge of the bed, head hung low and hands digging into his knees. When she stands between his legs, Loki pushes his face into her stomach and wraps his arms around her waist. She pushes her hands through his hair, holding him there.

"It's been a fucking crazy day," Eleanor murmurs.

"Try five days. Has it truly been five days only?"

Eleanor sniffs and nods before realizing that Loki can't see her.

"Yes." Her voice is small and exhaustion overtakes her. Suddenly, pretending Frigga did not die is an impossible effort and her tears fall. "I keep forgetting," Eleanor confesses. "I want to tell her something or ask her something and then I remember that I can't because she's gone and then it feels like she dies all over again, every single time I remember."

Loki shudders. She can feel his tears seeping through the fabric of her dress.

They are quiet and still and mourning for a long time, until Eleanor's legs threaten to give out from the exhaustion of the last week. Eleanor pulls her dress over her head and then steps out of her underwear. Somehow she gets Loki up and strips him too. They crawl into bed, comforted by the warm, familiar space, and lay facing each other, legs tangled under the blankets.

Loki takes her hand as they share their grief.

It is so different from the last time she lost a parent, but the hole in her chest that opened up the night her father died has expanded again. The emptiness never went away but Eleanor learned to live with the absence of Harrison Tate.

And the same will happen by the void in her heart left by Frigga, but contemplating such a thing now when the sorrow is so raw is impossible, unbearable.

"You loved her," Loki murmurs, catching her tears on his thumb and bringing the liquid to his lips. "As a mother. You truly loved her."

A ragged sob tears through her chest and Eleanor nods.

"It is a comfort," Loki continues. "A small one to be sure, but I am glad that you loved her as she loved you."

Eleanor would echo his statement – that Frigga loved him as he loved her – but she is overcome by tears.

They cry themselves to sleep.