Chapter 16: Daria Digs, Pris and Vonny talk to Daria

"Boogies at nine o'clock high," Jane called as Daria was rummaging through her locker.

"Jane, late night war movies are not the answer to sleeplessness. Take it from me. And it's 'bogies'."

She closed her locker door and turned to see Siobhan and Pris indeed coming up on her left with their eyes fixed on her.

The two little groups of friends regarded each other silently until Siobhan commanded, "Be careful with Mai, Morgendorffer."

"And a good morning to you too, Vonny," Daria said. "I am careful with her. Just the other day I stopped Mai from jumping face first from the haymow."

Pris narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "God, I just don't get what Mai sees in you."

"I am an acquired taste."

"Daria," Siobhan started again quieter. "Mai is our friend, you know. She may seem all big and loud and tough but she's not all that. That bumper sticker crap hurt her harder than she'll admit. Look, Pris and I aren't against you and we don't care who Mai likes; if it makes her happy we're there. But she's new to, uh, your kind of thing and you're way more experienced. Just go slow with her, okay?"

Daria was trying to parse what Siobhan's little speech all actually meant when Jane gave a visible shudder and loud exhalation. It came to Daria then what was being implied and she glanced at Jane who was doing an admirable job not scratching at Siobhan's eyes.

"Siobhan," Daria attempted. "I appreciate what you and Pris are trying to do, I guess. You think I'm some big gay femme fatale and I'm flattered, I think. But having a, hrm, girlfriend is all new to me. It was all a bigger surprise to me than to Mai. And Jane's as straight as you guys."

"Having a boyfriend would be new to me too," she concluded musing to herself.

"Boyfriend?" Pris spoke up. "Mai was right about you. She's all afraid you're going to dump her and crush on some ancient volleyball guy she goes on about or start dating every hunky boy in Lawndale."

"You have me confused with my dear sister who is as close to me as a dear cousin. Guys, hunky or otherwise, are safe from this Morgendorffer. And volleyball stars are probably out of my league." Daria was further amazed by Jane's ability to keep her temper.

Daria continued, "You should coordinate with Mr. Ling. He already gave Mai and me this speech only he told her not to break my cold, hard little heart."

"Her parents are great about, uhm, her preferences, but they make her work way too much," Pris continued. "All that farm work and then that shitty job at that awful Dollar-a-Bucket discount store place. Plus volleyball. And she's not a total brainiac like you. She gets really good grades but she has to work for it. She's thinking of giving up volleyball but she can't; we can't let her. She's really good; she can get a scholarship ticket out of this dump."

Mai dropping volleyball was news which Daria vowed to take up with her.

"Mai's quitting the ratty job. Her parents are letting her quit," Daria informed them. She didn't feel right about telling them about the Ling's apparently big educational nest egg. "And less work on the farm too. Surprisingly, they declined my offer to help milk the hogs and slop the cows."

"What?" Siobhan was surprised. "Quitting Dollar-a-Bucket? How?"

"I talked to Mr. and Mrs. Ling about it." Daria felt like she was confessing; she did not want to seem to take credit. "They told Mai to quit and have more fun with her friends, that's you two, and, uh, me."

Siobhan and Pris looked at each other.

"Okay, Daria," Siobhan granted. "We believe you. We're going to talk to Mai too. I want to hear the good news from her." They nodded curtly at Daria and Jane and moved off.

"Jane, I admire your restraint."

Jane followed the retreating friends of Mai with her eyes. "Yeah, we Lanes are known for our restraint and repression. Actually, Daria, I was mostly thinking about whether to try out "your kind of thing" and on whom to subject myself."

"I feel like subjecting Queen Battledork to something or other when I get home. But Jane, I take it back. You need to watch more late night war movies. And lull yourself to sleep at school counting boogies."