For Touka, Hideyoshi Nagachika is an admirable person.
Despite his injuries, the weakness she saw in his too thin body, his disability and scars, he is still cheerful and quick to smile. He is still the same cheerful ray of sunshine that used to come to The Café with Kaneki even before the later was made Ghoul, and used to ask her out and try flirt with her while she made effort to demurely hurriedly leave, wanting to bash his skull in so much.
The happiness shining from his eyes when Kaneki comes for his daily visit and the two hug each other is like the sun-grossly incandescent.
When she thinks about how he was brought so low…scarred, crippled, and almost dead by a Ghoul-such joy at reuniting with the very same ghoul-and she has a good idea of what happened when the two met by now-its turning her entire worldview sideways. It is a paradigm shift.
It also leaves her furious deep within, even if she will never tell anyone.
Kaneki left them-left her! But he returned for Hide. Hide was the one to bring him back. That he went as far as enter a Ghoul's maw unarmed for the sake of his lost friend.
She is jealous, and doesn't know if it's of Hideyoshi and his success where she failed- the sign that Kaneki cares about him more than about her, or of Kaneki himself-for having such a loyal human friend. Would Yoriko ever care that much about her?
It is slowly driving her crazy, together with the fear that Kaneki will leave again soon, that a week into his awakening, she approaches Hide when Kaneki is away, with a strange desperate proposal.
She loves Shitty Kaneki too much to let him go, the months of taking care of him while they waited for Hide to awake were enough to realize it, but he will leave her again when Hide finishes the therapy. She just knows it.
It is better to have half of him then not at all. And the connection between him and Hide is undeniable.
With a crimson face she explains it all to Hide, heart a flutter.
Hide chuckles that he is irresistible, even gesturing to the scar on his arm-a 'hicky from Kaneki'.
"He will leave after you get the strength to stand on your own, after we get a prosthetic for your leg. You know he will. Next time you maybe be too late, we may even not find him again!
"We need to keep him from leaving, from leaving us behind, again! And you won't be able to run after him with a fake leg."
The smile vanishes from his face as he sobers up. "After feeding him with myself, dating a pretty girl with him is no sacrifice. Though I'm not ready yet for the bedroom…"
She bristles, and an instinctive part of her prepares to attack him-the first confirmation he voiced in her presence at knowing that Kaneki is a Ghoul. She wonders if he knows about herself.
"Don't worry, I don't care! What is such insignificant detail in comparison to my best friend?! I knew for quite some time, I would've quit the CCG after finding him anyway-I only joined to find him." He hastily remarks upon seeing her fist halfway swing.
She didn't even notice raising her hand to attack.
It did confirm that he really joined the doves, and didn't just somehow steal their uniform.
As uncomfortable as it was, asking Yomo-san for even more help, especially after all the trouble convincing him to get help for the CCG clad Nagachika, helping to get a physiotherapy for the emaciated human so he could get back on his feet, as well as a good prosthetic to stand on, they needed a good place to lay low, both Kaneki and Nagachika could be targets of a search.
Very reluctant. He agreed in the end, though Touka suspected that it was only because Hide only was listed as a gopher for the doves.
The need to look after the two boys-as Nagachika was recovering slowly and needed help, and Kaneki didn't leave his side, and neglected himself-caused her to delay with her intent to reopen a Café.
Between the boys and the need to keep a public appearance, she had little time. Particularly with the added attempts to open Kaneki up to the 'thing' she and Hide ended up agreeing to. Thinking back to some of his suggestions, she was glad Hide was on her side rather than an opponent, either as a Dove, or for Kaneki's affections. He had a devious mind.
It took time, and it was uncomfortable topic to talk to him with, but she convinced him to try. And, admittedly, when finally the three of theme shared a bed for the first time, she was so nervous that she put her Mask on, even though she knew she will be removing it.
And it took all of her willpower to do so, both as it would make the bizzare situation she found herself in , 'and even initiated, God, why?', and expose her nature as a Ghoul to Nagachika. Trusting him was so hard, still.
He looked so scared, so vulnerable at the first moment he saw the Kakugan on her maskless face, that she felt a strange combination of anger and hurt (didn't he trust her, she wasn't about to kill him now, did he show the same amount of fear to Kaneki-she doubted it ) hunger (the preylike, vulnerable look aroused her eating instincts) and even lust (and that last part made her the most ashamed- to get off on his fear of her ). She tried to resume the activity they had yet to start, with a bit of dirty talk (and she felt her ears heat as the words passed her mouth).
it was as if he was a rabbit about to be stripped of flesh. Remembering her own Rabbit mask, she had the amusing thought of Rabbit Stripping Rabbit. Than it was time to undress herself, and the rest proved too distracting.
It was awkward, with two 'partners', and undeniably the most embarrassing thing she has ever done in her life.
Hideyoshi was right-it was small sacrifice to keep Kaneki from leaving.
Author Notes: That first night-its the first chapter. I'm on a roll so more updates soon. I hope it is a good take on a Harem in general, and on that particular one in person.
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