Hello lovely readers! Sorry it's been so long. Blame the CT and an overwheming need to plan out my whole NaNo novel and having to, you know, actually participate in my real life.
This is one of those chapters that I just really like, you know?
I hope you like it too.
So this is the last storyline for this series (out of about a thousand storylines). That means were are only looking at like maybe threeish more chapters? I don't know but I am already graving the end of it. BUT! I have some AUs planned because I'm not done writing Loki and after this whole saga I don't think I am capable of coming up with a new OC.
Heather and Erica are the best of all betas.
You are the best of all readers.
Come be by friend! Tumblr url jaxington
Part II: In the Dark
Chapter 24: Vali
"Peekaboo!" Eleanor uncovers her face, getting nose to nose with her daughter, who is laid out in her lap. Lenara lets out a delighted chortle, little hands grabbing at Eleanor's hair. They've been at this for a solid ten minutes now, but Len is no less entertained now than she was at the beginning of the game. "Where's Mommy?" Eleanor asks, covering her face again.
Lenara babbles incomprehensibly and claps her hands together, tiny fingernails ineffectually scratching at the back of Eleanor's hands.
"Ellie, what's the deal with Zara? She is totally up my ass about learning how to sew, of all things?" Across the table, speaking from behind a towering stack of books, is Jane, presumably absorbed in studying something scientific, but apparently she's thinking about her duties too.
"Yeah," Eleanor replies, still hiding from her daughter, whose babbled demands for peekaboo grow louder each moment Eleanor doesn't appear. "We need to get on that. You can learn a lot from the sewing room. Peekaboo!"
Lenara squeals, claps, and tugs on Eleanor's hair.
"You are going to make me learn to sew?" Jane asks. She pushes aside a stack of books to better gape at Eleanor, clearly horrified.
"It's not really about the sewing," Eleanor says, removing her daughter's tiny, shockingly strong fists from her hair. "It's about picking up gossip, learning secrets. That's where the might of Asgard is, the damn sewing room. I should've had you in there months ago, but I wanted to go with you, but I couldn't really do that with all the bed resting."
"You are really going to make me learn to sew," Jane murmurs again, eyes wide and unfocused.
"Yes, Jane. I know it's the biggest challenge in your life."
"I would rather fix the Bifrost again."
"Shocking."
"Which, actually, is something I wanted to talk to Loki about."
"Fixing the Bifrost again?" Eleanor asks, blinking up at Jane. "How can you fix it if it's not broken?"
"No, he is thinking about changing it. You know how the bridges only go to specific places? Like New Mexico and London? Well, Loki mentioned figuring out a way to allow Heimdall to pick up whoever, from wherever, no specific touchdown zone required."
"Huh," says Eleanor, frowning because this, like so many other things, is something her husband has so far failed to mention.
"But this was months ago and I didn't think about it again until yesterday when I was doing some reading and uncovered something that might be helpful."
In her lap Lenara is kicking out her legs and whining, never quite satisfied when she is not the center of attention. Eleanor leans forward to rain kisses down on her forehead, cheeks, soft blue hair, and Lenara once more shrieks with delight.
"Must you be so loud?" Jane asks, sighing heavily.
"Must you do your science in my living room?" Eleanor replies.
"Fair point. You have a private library, Odin has a private library, but Thor has a completely unnecessary armory in his rooms," Jane replies. "And when I work in the palace library I feel like I get stared at, and the aides keep offering me help I do not need."
"You've been Queen for like a year," Eleanor says. "You've been living here for like a year. Don't you think it's time that you start making Thor's rooms yours too?"
Jane slumps down in her chair, muttering to herself and reaching for the nearest book. Eleanor goes back to Peekaboo.
The game only lasts a few minutes more, ending when the door bursts open and Loki walks through with Sif at his side. They are arguing about the scheduled upgrades to the training yard, but fall silent when Lenara starts shrieking, little arms reaching out towards her father.
"This is not over, Loki!" Sif says as Loki leaves her by the doors.
He waves her off, completely focused on Eleanor and their daughter wiggling in her lap.
"Hello," says Loki, smiling softly as he leans down to kiss her in greeting. His palm rests on Lenara's belly and she stops fussing, content to gnaw on her father's thumb.
"Hey," Eleanor murmurs, reaching up to trace his cheek when he frees her lips. They have a routine now that involves Loki leaving in the mornings to rule with Thor and returning for lunch. On occasion Eleanor leaves Len with her father for the afternoon, but more often than not she finds herself either neglecting her duties or bringing her daughter along. This is apparently a giant faux pas, as Asgardians traditionally don't let their children venture out of the house for the first year of life, but technically the whole fucking palace is Lenara's home so Eleanor brings the little squirt to luncheons with the ladies and counsel meetings. The baby is so painfully cute that she wins over even the most cantankerous and conservative of Asgard's elite. "Good morning?" she asks.
"Fine. Although I missed my wife," Loki replies, lifting Lenara from Eleanor's lap. "And daughter!" He completely transforms as he brings their daughter to his chest, face, voice, and posture all shift into expressions of joy.
It's a heady thing, watching Loki with their daughter, that Eleanor doesn't ever think she'll take for granted.
"Come now, Princess," Sif says, snapping her fingers. "You promised me your assistance."
As Loki joins her on the sofa, cooing at Len, Eleanor turns to hide her face in his shoulder, hoping that if Sif is ignored she will simply go away.
"To the markets, Eleanor." Sif is rapidly losing patience. "As you promised."
"Can I bring Lenny?"
"Must you call her that?" mutters Loki.
"She cannot leave the palace as you well know! Now up, Princess. No need to prolong the inevitable," Sif insists.
Although she's left her baby with various family members and Darcy for a couple hours, she's always been only a few rooms away from Len, and leaving the little wiggler now to venture all the way to the market is vastly unappealing.
But without her help Sif will probably end up making Sigyn cry with some horrible birthday present or another.
"One fucking hour, Sif," Eleanor says, reluctantly getting to her feet. "I mean it."
"You glow, Princess," says the old crone as she folds fabric for Eleanor. It is gold with red thread and perfect for Jane to learn with. The prospect of introducing the Queen of Asgard to the subtle politics of the sewing room – all of which is sure to be totally lost on the scientist – is not a pleasant one, but it needs to be done. Eleanor wonders if Frigga felt like this, hesitant, wary, and slightly amused at the prospect of seeing her student so far out of her element. "Motherhood suits you."
"Thank you, Jezebel."
"And where is this child? I cannot give you the proper fabric before I know her, before I've seen her."
"She's with her father. This is actually my first time this far away from her." And she's not freaking out. Not at all.
She searches within her chest, locating the bond and leaning into it. There is a low hum of anxiety buzzing in her husband, but that has been his constant state of being since Len's birth. All seems quiet on the home front – Eleanor can see the golden palace rising up just behind the market – but this does little to ease Eleanor's own anxiety.
"Yes, yes. She is your first, is she not?"
"She is," Eleanor says, nodding.
"Calm, Princess. Calm. Any who dared threaten the babe would be too much the fool to do any harm. Not with such powerful beings giving her love and protection. I must look forward to her introduction to the public. When is the ceremony?"
"I think it's customary to wait a year, right? So like, four or five months?"
"She's lived for so many lunar cycles? Already? These days pass too quickly for an ancient such as myself."
"Nonsense, Jezebel. You look fabulous. How much do I owe you?"
"I gift. A gift for the new queen."
Eleanor nods her thanks and slips the old seamstress a chocolate filled with peanut butter. Before Eleanor requested the cooks improve their dessert repertoire, the treat was totally missing from the Realm Eternal.
And the Aesir think themselves more evolved than mortals, despite their former lack of chocolate.
People voice their congratulations and touch the back of her hands, and Eleanor beams, hoping their good wishes are genuine and will stay genuine even after they get a glimpse of her daughter's blue hair.
It takes her a few minutes to find Sif, predictably swinging around an axe at a weapons vendor.
"I thought we were looking to get Sigyn a gift," Eleanor says, smirking. Sif looks guilty to be caught.
"I was," she says, recovering quickly. "Do you think she'd enjoy this axe?"
"Could she even lift that axe?"
Sif forces the huge weapon into Eleanor's arms and she nearly is dragged down as she struggles to keep from dropping the axe.
She then drops the axe and the proprietor of the weapons tent glares at her, muttering in some language she doesn't understand.
Sif rolls her eyes. "It's a weapon," she says, easily lifting it with one hand. She tosses it in the air and catches it easily. "It is not meant to be draped in silks and unused."
The cranky proprietor nods begrudgingly and Sif returns it to a shelf.
"Not right for my lady, I am thinking," Sif declares as if she was ever seriously considering it.
They wander through the market and Sif finds Sigyn some dense, ancient medical tome detailing the regenerative properties of Vanir flora.
"You did totally fine on your own!" Eleanor says, glancing at the palace and resisting the urge to braid her hair. "Didn't need my help at all."
"Let us get a drink."
"No. No way."
"Just one drink," Sif says as they reach the end of the market and the cafe that sits on the cliff side there. Thor first brought her here during her first week on the Realm Eternal to whine about how badly he screwed up with Jane. Now they are married and attempting to figure out the whole ruling thing.
What a fucking saga.
"We really should get back."
"We've been away less than an hour! Do you plan to leave Lenara's side for only one hour at a time? She will loathe you before she reaches her first century."
"She's a newborn."
"Do you truly bring her with you? On all your duties? Or have you been neglecting them all as you've done with your training?" Sif demands.
Eleanor shuffles her feet. "Well, maybe a little bit. Jane probably could use a bit more help with the whole queen gig."
"So a drink?"
"Still no."
"Eleanor."
"Sif."
Their battle of the wills that Eleanor was sure to win is interrupted by a piercing scream. Sif's hand goes to the blade at her hip, following close behind Eleanor as she works her way through the crowd gathered at the cliff's edge. They whisper and somewhere a woman screams again as they crane their necks to see the cliff's face below them.
"What happened?" Sif barks at the sobbing woman who screamed.
"There is a body!" she says, pointing a shaking finger in the direction of the cliff.
Eleanor leans over the edge, getting a good look at the broken figure below, impaled on the rocks. Birds already pick at her skin, making Eleanor think she's been there long, and something about the body is familiar.
Sif asks questions as Einherjar join them. Eleanor is thankful that the warrior is taking the lead on this as she feels suddenly queasy.
Something is tugging at the skirts of her dress, and she blinks down. It takes her longer than it should to recognize the small child clinging to her leg. Although he is fifteen years old, to Eleanor he appears to be around two or three Midgardian years. He has the dark hair of his mother and the blue eyes of his father, eyes that Eleanor saw utterly devoid of life as she lay on top of his corpse.
Clinging to her leg is Ido's son and with complete horror Eleanor understands why the dead woman below is so familiar.
"Hey." She finds Loki with their daughter asleep on his chest in Frigga's library. The sight makes breathing easier. Behind her, Ido's tiny, orphaned son hides in her skirts.
Loki turns to look at her in the entryway, careful not to jostle their daughter. Len stirs anyway, her little arm stretching out and her little fingers curling into her father's tunic.
Eleanor wonders if this parenting gig is something she'll ever get used to.
"Took you long enough," Loki says, scowling.
"Blue!" Odin whines from across the room. He sits cross-legged in a chair, sketchpad in his lap, charcoal clutched between his blanked fingers.
"I do not respond to that!" Loki hisses back. "It is a color, not my name."
Odin opens and closes his mouth three times, struggling for the word. "Loki," he finally manages, releasing a great puff of breath. "You moved. Don't you move. I want to get it right."
Loki sighs and turns to face forward. "What kept you, Eleanor?"
"Meryn is dead," she says, sounding hollow. Too late she remembers the child hiding behind her and she resolves to choose her words carefully.
"Who?" asks Loki.
"Ido's wife."
"Ido had a wife?"
"Yes! I visit her a couple times a year. Give her money."
"The crown provides gold for those family that lost the primary provider."
"I know. But this was Ido. You know I go there, Loki. Why are you such a—" Eleanor takes a deep breath. There is a very small child at her back and Odin, who is also pretty much a child, is frowning at her, already upset by the bickering. "You know I go there, Loki."
"Went there. The woman is dead, is she not? There is no reason for you to go there any longer."
Eleanor winces and turns to kneel in front of Ido's son. He knows her from her few visits and refused to go with anyone else in the chaos that followed the discovery of his mother's body, torn apart by a fall over the cliffs.
"Hey, buddy," she says, tucking his dark hair behind his ear. Compared to Lenara he seems huge, but he is still so young. Walking is new to him, and so far she hasn't heard him speak at all. Eleanor has no clue how to explain death to a toddler. "Come here."
When she extends her arms he shuffles willingly into her embrace, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck.
"Loki," she says, turning back to her husband. The blankness of his expression is not a good sign.
"What is that?" he says as if he is confronted with something repulsive rather than a newly orphaned child.
"This is Ido and Meryn's son," she says. "Vali. Vali, this is Loki. Can you say hi?"
The kid hides his face in her neck, holding her with all his meager toddler-strength.
"Eleanor," he says using that tone of his that speaks to his mounting rage and his desire to go around slaughtering everything, Eleanor included.
"It's just a few days!" she says before he can get really worked up. For a few tense moments Loki and Eleanor glare at each other.
Odin whines. "No fighting," he says. "Do not fight."
"Odin, would you mind taking Vali up to your studio? Let him look at some of your paintings? The nice nature ones, not the scary war ones."
The Allfather nods and rises as Eleanor sets Vali on his feet, assuring him that Odin is nice. By the time they bop off, hand in hand, Lenara is up and fussing. Without a word, Eleanor joins her little family on the sofa. Loki hands over the baby before undoing the ties of her dress so she can get a boob out for Lenara's lunch.
Eleanor grins down at her hungry, nursing daughter as Loki sighs heavily, flopping back against the couch.
"What are you doing, Eleanor?"
"She was drunk," Eleanor replies. "Meryn. She was drunk and the best guess at the moment is that she was drunk and slipped and no one noticed. Who knows how long Vali was just wandering around the market. I didn't think a fall could kill an Asgardian. Maybe it wouldn't have, if anyone had noticed."
"Eleanor." Again, he makes her name a warning.
"Unless she jumped. She landed head first." How could Eleanor fail so miserably to notice the extent of the widow's pain?
"Eleanor."
"It's only for a few days while Sif and the Einherjar can track down a family member or someone to take him. I didn't want to send him to the orphanage, not if we don't have to. It's just a few days, Loki."
"What is in your head, wife?"
Eleanor goes silent, trying very hard to answer that question. She thinks of Ido, her endearing shadow, Meryn with her vitriol and resentment, and Vali's trembling limbs when she first found him.
And how the word adoption still makes her queasy.
"I really don't know," she confesses sometime later.
"I do not like this creature so close to our daughter," Loki mutters as he hands over a goblet of juice. Because he is without sustenance-providing breasts, Loki sips wine, and Eleanor tries not to be jealous as he settles beside her, slinging an arm across her shoulders as she leans back into his chest.
"It's been three days," she says. "You know his name."
Loki grunts and drinks his wine.
They watch the children in silence for a few minutes. Lenara is laid out on her back on a fur with an array of toys – shapes, animals, colors – magically suspended above her. Her little feet kick out and she lets out a giggle whenever Vali reaches out to make a shape spin.
"He's good with her."
"Eleanor."
She sighs and rests her head on his shoulder.
"Have you managed to locate a relative to take him?"
"No," Eleanor says, watching Ido's son make their daughter shriek with delight. In three days the toddler hadn't said a word or made a sound – not even when he skinned his knees running through the gardens – and his silence breaks her heart. "There is no one."
Loki sighs again. There has been an excess of sighing from Loki in the last three days.
"What would you have us do here? What do you want?" he asks. For the first time in three days he directly addresses what Eleanor hasn't even really let herself consider until Sif determined that there was no one.
Adoption has always been such an ugly word, to her and her husband both.
"I don't know. I really don't. But I would like to know what you think."
Loki shakes his head at head and finishes his wine. "I think that we are new parents of an infant child who were horribly scarred by our own adoptions, something we could very well pass onto this creature. I think even considering what you are considering is the basest of sentiment. I think it is folly."
Eleanor winces, nods, and settles back against his chest. "Okay."
"Really?" He scoffs. "You simply give me okay? I anticipated having to sit through your illogical and unconvincing argument."
"Vali deserves people who are sure," she murmurs, watching him lay on his back beside Lenara. Every time she laughs, he beams. "I'm not sure and you are a firm no. The orphanage is a good place."
"Maybe now that you've gotten your hands on it."
Children without parents or some other relative to take them are a rarity on Asgard, but after the Dark Elves decimated huge swaths of the city, the population of parentless, family-less children exploded. It took months and more gold than Loki liked, but the capital's orphanage is a beautiful building with every amenity. Teachers, classes, counselors, and healers are all readily available. It is a safe, secure place, the best a kid could hope for.
Well, next to a family that is.
"Will you come with me tomorrow? To bring him there?"
"Lenara is not in the public as of yet. You think we should both leave her? Place her under the care of Thor?"
Loki looks at her like she is a bad mother. In turn she looks at him like he's a bad brother.
"You better than any know that these facilities are of the highest quality," says the mistress of the orphanage. In the five minutes since their arrival, Eleanor's managed to offend her thoroughly. True, she didn't need to question policies she herself helped implement, but this is Ido's son, sweet little Vali who makes her daughter laugh and hasn't cried once since his mother died.
Although they explained to him best they could that his mother will not be coming back and he will be living in a nice new home with lots of new friends, Eleanor has no idea how much he actually understands about the situation and her stomach hurts at the thought of leaving him here.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Do you only find the quality of care here adequate for children from less well connected families?" asks the mistress, scowling down her nose at Eleanor and reeking of disapproval.
"No! It's not that at all. I just knew his father. He was my personal guard before the Dark Elves and after he died I made sure that Vali and his mother were taken care of. This is guilt, Mistress, not a critique on the facility here. I'm nervous," Eleanor confesses.
The mistress sighs and they both turn to look at Vali where he is silently playing with building blocks while Loki looms over him, arms crossed over his chest as he surveys the playroom. If his goal is to look terrifying then he's doing a bang up job.
"I understand your plight, Princess," says the mistress as Eleanor tears her gaze away from Vali. "I do not have to tell you of our amenities and what we do for these children. This conflict with you has little to do with us, I am thinking."
Eleanor nods. "I really am sorry."
"You will visit, Princess. If you desire to spend the day with him outside the orphanage, you will do this also. We will grant you every privilege."
"That's—"
"You droopy-eyed cretin!" shouts Loki. "Vile tyrant, back away!"
Eleanor whirls around, ready to rip her husband a new one Although he's kept his distance from Vali, she thought he knew enough not to yell like that at a scared little boy who just lost his mother.
She blinks for a moment, trying to understand the scene before her. It becomes clear very quickly that Loki is not yelling at Vali, for the small boy is held protectively against his chest, bottom lip trembling. Loki is scowling down at a blond, barrel chested kid who is obviously seeing his short life flash before his eyes. Loki was pretty terrifying just standing there, so having his full and angry attention is too much for the kid, who promptly bursts into tears.
"Prince Loki!" snaps the mistress, putting herself between Loki and the boy. "What is the meaning of this?"
"You have a bully on your hands," Loki says, straightening to his full and menacing height. He spares the mistress of the orphanage only a glance before turning to address Eleanor. "He stole Vali's blocks and pushed him over. This is unacceptable. We will not be staying. Eleanor?"
And then he sweeps out of the room, Vali still cradled to his chest.
Eleanor stares at the door Loki just fled through.
"Princess?" asks the mistress.
"I, um... I guess Vali's coming with us."
"The attack was totally unprovoked," Loki hisses when they get into their rooms. He is talking quietly as to not wake Vali, who fell asleep against Loki's chest on the journey back to the palace.
Jane is sitting on the couch and discards her book to gape at Loki. The expression on his face keeps her quiet.
"The child was a menace."
"Uh-huh," Eleanor replies, trying not to grin too hard.
"Do not look so pleased. The whole place was unsuitable."
"Right."
Loki glares at her before glaring at Jane. "My daughter?"
"Asleep in the nursery," replies Jane, waving vaguely at the cracked open door.
Loki stomps off to place Vali in Lenara's room where he's spent the last few days.
"What the hell?" whispers Jane.
Eleanor shrugs.
"I thought you were taking him to the orphanage!"
"Didn't work out. Can you, like, leave? Thanks for watching her, but I think we need some time to discuss this. Alone."
"But—"
"I promise to fill you in later, okay?"
"Fine!" hisses the queen. "Your daughter is a delight." She slams her book closed and stalks out of the room.
Eleanor takes a moment to braid her hair and then unbraid her hair before entering the nursery.
Loki stands over their daughter in her crib, just watching. Eleanor joins him for a few minutes
"He will stay here. With us."
"Are you sure?" she asks, resting her cheek on his shoulder and gazing up at him.
"Yes," Loki murmurs after only a moment of hesitation. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." The word barely makes it past her sudden tears, but she doesn't hesitate at all.
They watch their daughter for a few moments more, the steady rise and fall of her chest.
Lenara feels 'once in a lifetime.' She's their little miracle baby that somehow came to them after nearly a decade of unprotected sex, for no real reason that they've managed to figure out. Eleanor doesn't think it will ever happen for them again, conceiving a child. In fact, she is sure that she will never give birth again.
Maybe she dreamed it, or maybe it's just gut instinct, but Eleanor trusts the feeling.
She wants Lenara to have a sibling, the way she has Laura and the way Loki has Thor. As flawed as those relationships are in some ways, they are vastly important as well and she wants that for her daughter. The timing may be terrible, as they have no idea what they are doing when it comes to parenting, but Ido's son needs them now and the universe rarely pays attention to good timing.
Plus Vali is an absolute doll, inquisitive and quiet. He gets a little freer with his smiles daily. His father died protecting Eleanor and his mother drowned in grief without Eleanor noticing.
Eventually, Eleanor drags Loki from the nursery, sits him on the couch, and delivers him wine.
"Okay," she says, sitting on the coffee table directly across from Loki so he has no choice but to look at her. "How's this going to work?"
"If you give a portion of your music room and I give a portion of my library and we take a bit of space from the balcony, than I should be able to give him his own room. Bit farther away from us then Lenara, but he's older and does not seem to have a problem sleeping through the night," Loki says as if it is all rather obvious.
The only thing that is rather obvious is that Loki's been really thinking about this for days.
Feeling overcome with a fresh wave of love for her husband, Eleanor takes his face in her hands and kisses him. He sighs against her mouth and rests his hands on her thighs.
"You are wonderful," she murmurs. "So when you say he'll stay with us, you really mean with us. Not just in the palace."
"Would you be comfortable with him anywhere else? I suppose someone can be hired as his caregiver."
Eleanor frowns.
"That's what I thought," Loki says, smirking slightly as he sips his wine and leans back against the couch. Every few moments he glances at the nursery, thinking of Lenara and her safety and maybe Vali's too.
"But we still have to decide how we are going to do this."
"What do you mean, Eleanor?"
"Okay." She crosses her legs beneath her and tucks her hair behind her ears. "The way I see it, we have two options."
"Two? Is that all?"
"He can be our, like, ward. You know, he'll live here and we'll provide everything for him, but he'll call us Loki and Eleanor and a lot of other people, servants and stuff, will teach him and guide him and help us parent him."
"And the second?"
"We raise him for real. As our son. We don't see him or treat him any differently than we do Lenara. He calls us Mom and Dad—"
"Mother and Father," Loki corrects,
Eleanor rolls her eyes and carries on. "We tell him about his birth parents, explain adoption from starting the moment he can understand what it means, and we love him without conditions. We tell him that we chose him, want him. That he belongs with us."
"You've given this a great deal of thought," Loki says, studying his wine.
"So have you, Mr. Give Up a Chunk of My Library. You've mentally built him a room."
"And you mentally made him your son!"
They glare at each other. Eleanor crosses her arms over her chest and Loki sighs heavily. He finishes his wine and gets up, muttering under his breath and waving his hands around. Eleanor can feel his magic in the air. It makes her hair stand on end and she shivers. There is a low groaning in the walls as the structure shifts and stretches. It only takes a few minutes for Loki to add a room for Vali between her music room and his study.
"I'll think on it, Eleanor. All right? This whole thing is happening far too quickly."
She nods. "Okay. But you can't wait years and years. It's not fair to Vali."
"Perhaps a month?"
A month seems like forever, but to her half-mortal eyes Vali looks like a two-year-old, even though he's been alive for nearly sixteen years. To an Asgardian, a month really is nothing.
"Fine. You can have a fucking month."
Three days later Eleanor wakes to see Vali curled tightly on Loki's chest. Vali is tucked under his chin and Loki's hand rests on the toddler's back. His palm is so large and Vali is so small. Eleanor feels a bit like weeping again. She raises an eyebrow and Loki shoots her a rueful smile.
"I believe he had dreams," Loki whispers. "Unpleasant ones. There were tears in his eyes, although he merely whimpered rather than full on crying. He seemed content with the comfort I provided and I saw no reason to wake you."
Eleanor smiles. She kisses Loki's cheek and then Vali's forehead.
"I also saw no reason to return him to his bed. I do not think he likes being in his own room. Perhaps he can stay with Lenara until he's a bit older, bit more comfortable."
Eleanor nods, too choked up to respond.
"And... And I think option number two," Loki whispers like his soft, loving side is still a deep dark secret. "I think... Yes. The son option, if he will have me as a father."
"You are exactly the kind of father this kid needs," she whispers because it's true. Loki's lived experience – and his survival of Odin's many, many, many mistakes – make him the best possible father for Vali.
Eleanor loses the battle against her tears.
Loki huffs and scowls, resettling Vali and staring at the ceiling. "Really, Eleanor. Contain yourself."
She rolls her eyes, kisses him again, and gets out of bed.
Lenara is up and babbling when Eleanor peeks over the crib railing. She is thoroughly entranced by her mobile – a floating model of Yggdrasil that Eleanor accidently purchased upon her arrival on Asgard – until she catches sight of her mother. Her pink lips curl into a delightfully goofy grin and the toothless smile melts Eleanor's heart to an unreasonable degree. Every time.
Len looses patience with Eleanor's adoring gaze rather quickly, and whimpers, little legs kicking and tiny fists reaching up.
"Hey there, sweet thing," Eleanor murmurs as she lifts her daughter into her arms. "You hungry? Let's go sit with Daddy and your brother—" She stops for a moment to deal with more tears. "Let's go sit with Daddy and your brother and we'll get you fed."
Loki has the curtains open and Vali is awake but still circled up on Loki's chest – his father's chest – when Eleanor crawls back into bed.
She feeds her daughter and enjoys the quiet, perfect moment with her husband and her children. Her miracle daughter and the son she chose. Her family.
It does not feel real. Perhaps is a dream. Somehow she's stepped into the idyllic life she gave up on when she was still a teenager. For so long – when she was alone living as a struggling musician, when she was responsible for Loki's rehabilitation, when they lived under the unknown threat from Bragi's dreams, and when her whole life was a lie because Loki wore Odin's face – she was simply reacting, making the best of shitty circumstance.
But this she chose. This she's always wanted, even when wanting it hurt.
"Hey, Vali," Eleanor whispers. "Good morning. You are going to stay here with us from now on. You are going to live with us and we are going to be your family. Is that all right?"
Vali cracks a smile. When Eleanor beams back, he gets shy and hides his face in Loki's chest.
"And I can be your Mommy, if you want." She doesn't want to replace Meryn or confuse him further, but it is pretty clear that he doesn't really understand the whole concept of death and he's still so young. On Midgard she would have spent weeks reading everything she could on how to adopt a toddler, but adoption isn't really a thing on Asgard, with the glaring and botched exception of her husband, so Eleanor has no choice but to simply go with her gut. "And Loki can be your Daddy."
"Father," Loki corrects, rolling his eyes. He tickles Vali's side for a moment, causing the kid to giggle and squirm. "If you would have me, Vali, I would be your father."
And, as seems to be the usual these days, Eleanor can't help but weep.
"Eleanor, you are soaking our daughter with your tears," Loki murmurs. "Vali, look at your ridiculous mother. Crying because she's happy. That's your doing, dear boy. She's happy because we get to keep you. Your new mother and me and your new sister, Lenara. We get to keep you."
And that simply makes Eleanor cry more.
They discover what makes Vali cry exactly one week after the undeniably hasty decision to make him their son. Lenara wakes up sobbing – a thankfully rare occurrence these days – which seems to deeply disturb Vali. This in turn further upsets Lenara and they spend a very trying half hour trying to soothe both.
A week after that, Vali speaks for the first time since they brought him to the palace. "Father!" he says, showing a mouth full of tiny teeth as he grins up at them from where he sits at their feet, doodling. "Mommy, look." He crawls onto the couch, oblivious to his parents' stunned silence, to squeeze in between them. He shows them his artwork and it takes both Loki and Eleanor longer than it should to shower him with praise.
Months pass and Vali turns sixteen, a fact Eleanor can still not wrap her head around. They celebrate with the royal family in Odin's towers and although Vali seems a little overwhelmed by the excessive gifts he receives, he shares all his new toys with Lenara and smears his face with chocolate cake.
They settle in as a family and find balance between duties and kids. Vali learns new words and Lenara sits up one day with no warning, before she even attempted to roll over.
Despite the peace, there are still moments of absolute terror, like when Lenara is ten months and she abruptly stops eating. She doesn't cry but her eyes are glassy and she sits in her crib, flinching away whenever someone tries to touch her. It takes two sleepless nights and a visit from Fey to figure out that Lenny is too hot. In retrospect the whole thing is obvious and they spend days afterward wracked with guilt, but the fix is simple. Loki turns her crib into a sort of refrigerator and they make sure to monitor her temperature throughout the day.
Every night they all crawl into bed together and Loki reads the kids to sleep, Lenny falling asleep within the first few moments but Vali fighting valiantly each night to keep his eyes open a little longer as Loki works his way through classic tales, both Midgardian and Asgardian a like. They put their sleeping kids in their own beds and don't need words to share just how lucky they feel.
"God, it's sickening."
Eleanor shakes her head, surprised to see Darcy appearing at her shoulder. Loki sent her on a mission to fill plates of food for them to share, but staring at her family distracted her from said mission. She quite enjoys observing Loki from a distance, seeing how small Lenara looks napping in the crook of his elbow and how comfortable Vali now is, seated at his father's feet and content to play with his boots. Her husband chats with Jane and Tony Stark, probably discussing something extremely boring and technical.
"What's sickening?" Eleanor asks, turning back to the buffet. She can't imagine feeling anything but joy with every person she cares most about in the world here on the Realm Eternal, celebrating Lenara's first birthday.
"That schmoopy look on your face when you ogle your family," says Darcy, filling a plate herself. "Gross."
Eleanor rolls her eyes. "Schmoopy? At least I don't go around mounting Loki in public, like some people do with their significant others."
"He was a ninety-five year old virgin when I got my hands on him. Give the guy a break. Plus, have you seen that ass? I really don't know how most people survive not mounting him. In fact I would completely understand if you felt the need to do so. I'd kick your ass, but I'd also understand," says Darcy, following Eleanor back to the center of the garden where this private gathering is taking place.
Tomorrow Lenara will have to go through the bizarre ceremony all Asgardian infants go through on their first birthday, a sort of coming out party for the whole realm, but today it is strictly family and close friends. Eleanor's whole family. Steve and Darcy. Tony and Pepper. Plus the whole Asgardian crowd and Fey. Odin sits beneath a weeping willow, humming to himself and running his fingers over leaves.
"Somehow I'll manage to contain myself," Eleanor says.
"Alrighty. But seriously. You've done good here, kid."
"Darcy, I am way older than you. I am a mother and a princess. Stop calling me kid."
"Relax, kid. And take my compliment. I never in a billon years thought that your crazy life would work out, but it looks like it did."
Eleanor watches Vali toddle over to Thor, who quickly tosses her son into the air and then hands over the hovering ball that he was chucking around with Captain America and Laura's kids.
"Yeah," she agrees. "It really did."
Eleanor sits at a table where Laura is talking doctor stuff with Sigyn. She catches Loki's eye and points at the heaping plates of food. He holds a finger up, needing another moment to stop with the science/magic talk.
"So what's the deal with this big ceremony tomorrow?" Laura asks, stealing a roasted potato off Eleanor's plate.
"It's Lenara's introduction to society. Traditionally for the first year Asgardian infants don't leave the home and this marks the end of that," Eleanor says, shrugging.
"Thousands of years ago, Asgard was ravaged by plagues and this was the way parents protected their children. After the first year infants are typically strong enough to combat disease. Although that's not really an issue any longer, the tradition remains," Sigyn explains.
"Interesting," says Laura like she really means it.
"But Lenara is the daughter of a prince so the whole thing is going to be horribly ostentatious and everyone important is going to want to meet her. God, Oza is going to be there even. I'm not thrilled about it," Eleanor says. Across the garden, Loki drags Vali away from the ballgame. A child in each arm, he joins Eleanor.
"Hey, little guy!" Eleanor pulls Vali into her lap, tickling his sides and kissing his chubby cheeks. He giggles and shrieks. "Are you hungry?"
She pulls the plate a little closer and Vali really goes to town on the roasted vegetables.
"Tony Stark keeps touching me," Loki grumbles. "Like Fandral when he first found out I did not actually die."
"A likely story. He probably is just using that as an excuse to get his hands on you because you are so dang attractive."
Loki grimaces. "Please, Eleanor. I am attempting to eat. And do refrain from cursing in front of the children."
"Dang is not a curse word."
"It is."
"It really isn't," says Darcy.
"Wow, I was skeptical about you being a father but you certainly seem to be good at it," says Laura, glaring only a little bit.
"Thank you," says Loki with a stiff little nod. "Although I would remind you all that I remain quite dangerous."
"Yeah," says Eleanor, wiping Vali's mouth. "You should see him attack a diaper."
"That was the single most painful day of my entire existence." Loki collapses face first into their bed, and although Eleanor remains silent behind him, he knows without doubt that she rolled her eyes at him.
"Whatever you say, babe."
Loki is grateful that she does not take the opportunity to remind him of the many other days that were the actual worst days of his life.
"Do not call me babe," he mutters into his pillow.
"Whatever you say, my dear God of Over Dramatization."
"Come to bed, Eleanor." He lifts his head to scowl at her and she waves him off in favor of disappearing into their closet.
"I thought it was kinda great," she says, puttering around, surely pulling on her hideous sleeping garments. It is a futile effort as Loki will have her naked the moment she's within reach. "I know the family part yesterday was better, but I honestly thought the ceremony today would be worse. I mean, it was obviously horrible in that pretending to be this perfectly composed royal way, but our kids were a hit."
"Of course they were," Loki says, face back in the pillow. This one is Eleanor's. It is softer than his and smells of her hair. "Our children are delightful."
"At least they were today," Eleanor agrees, yelling over the sound of running water. She's obviously moved on from the closet to complete the rest of her before-slumber routine, washing her face, brushing her teeth, securing her hair in a ridiculous bunch at the top of her head. He considers joining her, but the day full of simpering and false smiling has left him exhausted. "Poor Vali looked terrified of all the people, but I think Len loved it."
It is truth. Their daughter grinned and giggled over every cooing Asgardian or ally to gawk at her, even Oza, who could not quite hide her dismay over how thoroughly her plans to rule Asgard fell apart in recent years. Not entirely her fault. She lacked the pertinent information.
"But seriously, I think people are starting to be less freaked out by you," Eleanor continues after Loki hears the distinct sounds of her spitting in the sink and rinsing her mouth. Beside him the mattress dips and Loki blindly reaches out, wrapping an arm around her waist as Eleanor shuffles closer. "They love the babies so much that they don't hate you as much. Like you must not be as awful as they think you are, given the awesomeness of your kids."
She is not wrong. Although this is truly the first time he's been forced to mingle with the elite Aesir who hate him so, his children have managed to somewhat smooth over the bad blood there.
"But still exhausting. Everyone wanted a piece of us. Did you see Oza whispering at Odin? Obviously trying to talk about whatever scheme she shared with you? He was so confused," Eleanor says, chuckling.
"I found Oza's confusion equally as delightful."
"Now that things have calmed down with Fey and Jotunheim and Oza, we are kinda done, right?"
Loki breathes in Eleanor's scent and ponders her question.
He spent the majority of Lenara's family birthday party yesterday discussing his plans with Stark and Jane, both of whom are progressing with their goals at a reasonable pace. Although Stark seems to suspect Loki has a more specific goal then simply preparedness, Jane is so thrilled to be working on a Bifrost project again she's asked very few questions.
Today's formal ceremony was much less pleasant, but Loki is rather certain that his power is not threatened by any who attended the state affair, the charm of Eleanor and the children counteracting any lingering hatred for what he is and what he's done.
All in all, Loki cannot think of a single matter more pressing than spending time with his family.
"There will be the expected banalities of ruling in the future," he replies, "but that is really more Thor's purview. Barring any disasters, I am hoping for a quiet few years."
Suddenly Eleanor is sitting up next to him, disturbing his extremely comfortable position wrapped around her. Once more he lifts his head from her pillow to properly scowl at her.
"We should go somewhere!" Eleanor declares, practically vibrating with excitement. Her eyes are bright, her smile is wide, and she smacks the back of her hand into his shoulder several times, a strange output of her sudden elation.
"Somewhere?" Loki repeats, already exhausted by the prospect.
"Yeah," Eleanor says, nodding more than is necessary. "Like a family vacation. Just the four of us."
Loki relaxes somewhat as that does sound rather pleasant. These last few weeks Loki's been forced to share his wife and his children with many others. And on any given day, even when Asgard's allies and nobility and their mortal friends are not all gathered at the palace, he must share them also, with Thor, Jane, and Odin, with Sif and the other warriors and anyone else requiring a minute of time.
Just the four of them is a lovely prospect indeed.
"All right," Loki agrees, making Eleanor grin harder. It is obvious that his easy acceptance was not anticipated.
"Let's go to Midgard," she says.
Loki groans. "Why not the hunting lodge?"
"Because I come from this glorious diverse planet but you've only seen New Mexico and New York, basically."
"You are forgetting Washington DC, where I first kidnapped you. And Stuttgart, Germany where I allowed the Avengers to kidnap me."
"You were not exactly seeing the sights at the time."
"You expect me to see sights?" he asks, aghast.
"No," Eleanor says, openly laughing at him. "I was thinking some barely populated little tropical island somewhere. Something with a private beach, and a nice cabin to sleep in, and snorkeling. I've still got way more money from working at Stark then I will ever spend, in some untouched bank account. It will be hot, but you can take care of that for Len."
His instinct is to argue, but he really can find no flaw in her plan.
"Fine. If you insist. Family vacation."
Again, his easy agreement is not anticipated if the expression on Eleanor's face is any indication, but he is rewarded for his uncharacteristic behavior when she rolls him onto his back, straddles his waist, and pulls her shirt over her head, all in one fluid movement.
The kiss she gives him is lazy for they have time now, thousands and thousands of years of time. He is well on his way to not being the most hated creature in all of Asgard, Thor has thus far held true to his agreement of dual rule, and in the coming days he will experience something called family vacation, just the four of them. With his children sleeping peacefully in the next room and his wife pressed as close to him as possible, Loki is truly content.
Until hours later, when Eleanor wakes up screaming.