A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to 2Addicted2YourLove, jenny crum, Christiangirl, snuggleUP and cRiMiNaLmInDsObSeSsIoN!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 55: Choices

Four days later…

For four days, JJ had been in a hospital bed as she regained some of the strength that was taken during her ordeal with Ward. It had been completely gut wrenching to be in the hospital without being able to see Hotch or even talking to him. Her room was guarded by agents 24/7, saying it was for her very own protection and JJ knew it was all part of protocol but that didn't make any of it easier. She knew the threat of Ward still lured outside her doors, but she knew that Hotch probably wasn't in his crosshairs because if he was, Ward would've mentioned him for sure. So it was all about her own safety and it sickened her. Her job had begun to slowly and steadily tear her life apart and she was done with it.

She sat up straight in her bed, reminding herself to keep any pressure off of her arm. She did exactly that as she put her feet on the ground and stretched her legs. She walked to the door, and opened it, only to nearly run into a slightly older woman who had a smile on her face.

JJ stumbled back and nearly fell to the ground, but she managed to find her balance by taking hold of a chair. ''Who are you?'' she asked, her voice filled with traces of anger. ''I'm not in the mood for another interrogation. Let Collins come by himself if he is so insistent to getting everything out in the open.''

''Have a seat, JJ.'' the woman offered nicely as she closed the door behind her. ''I have been watching from the sidelines as your situation is unfolding.'' she went on. ''My name is Jill Myers and I once worked for Collins when I was fresh out of the academy.''

JJ looked back up at the woman, not exactly knowing why she was visiting her in the hospital. But then she suddenly realized she had seen her before. ''You were at my graduation at the farm.'' JJ stumbled. ''I saw you talking to Collins.'' she remembered.

''Yes, you've got a good memory, JJ.'' Jill said as she leaned against the wall behind her, looking down at JJ closely, studying her expressions. ''I wanted to offer you a job with my division, but Collins had already snatched you up before I ever had that chance.''

''Well, thank you for that.'' JJ said hesitantly. ''But why are you here now?''

Jill walked away from the wall, took a chair and put it down in front of JJ and she sat down. ''I'm here to offer you a job after all of this is over.''

JJ sat back. ''No, thank you.'' she said almost instantaneously.

''JJ, listen to me…'' Jill began, no change of tone traceable in her voice. ''We both know you've made quite the mess by involving your personal life with your work, and Collins is already searching for you replacement as we speak. He's going to fire you.''

''Let him. I don't care.''

''If I were in your shoes, I would say the same. Working for that man is hard and your work is easily overshadowed by other agents. And he'll always put his own needs before his yours.'' Jill agreed. ''But you're forgetting one thing.''

''And what would that be?'' JJ asked, realizing the woman in front of her was very different from anyone she had ever met in the CIA before. And maybe her life had been very different if she had worked for her since the farm. She wouldn't have met Owen for starters.

''Christian Ward is still out there and he has put a target on your back.'' she replied. ''If you go back to the life you want to live, you'll put lives in danger. Especially agent Hotchner's. He'll never be safe as long as Ward is out there.''

JJ put a few strands of her hair behind her ears as reality finally hit her. She hadn't even thought about that. If she would go back to Hotch and Ward would find out how much he meant to her, he would be killed for sure. She couldn't take that risk. Not now and not ever. She put her hands in front of her face, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. She removed them a few seconds later, only to look into the friendly eyes of the woman across from her.

''JJ, I know this is going to be the hardest choice you will ever have to make, but I promise you that my division won't stop until we have Ward in custody.'' Jill promised, hoping she could offer JJ something to live for.

''Which division?''

''I am head of a counterterrorism taskforce that is based in London. The CIA has offices stationed there so we can work with MI-6. It's a joined taskforce between two agencies and it might offer you a new chance.''

''Oh, I've heard of that taskforce before. Aren't you the youngest woman in the agency to become head of a division?''

''Yes, I am.'' Jill responded as she rose from her chair and put it back in its place. ''Take some time, JJ. You have a lot to think about and I'm not here to convince you of anything. So call me when you've made a decision. No pressure!'' she promised JJ, handing her a card with a phone number on it.

''Thank you.'' JJ whispered as she watched Jill leave her hospital room.

Once the room was filled with silence, JJ rose from her chair and walked into the bathroom where she hovered above the sink. As she stared back into the mirror, at her own reflection, she broke down in sobs. She covered her mouth to not alert agents outside, but everything was coming out. The tears streamed down her face. She wasn't crying over what had happened, but she realized her tears were all about Hotch. She had a choice to make, and it was either going to make or break her life as well as Hotch's.

So after an entire morning and afternoon of thinking about everything and looking at the bigger picture, JJ had made her choices. Her mind was clear and she knew exactly what she was about to do with her future. She had taken everything into consideration and she stood by her choice.

So she had requested one of the agents to get some clothes from her apartment before she was going to Langley for a visit of SAD. She had stood in front of the mirror for minutes, reminding herself she had made the right choice. And after about an hour, JJ had changed into her clothes, and done her hair and make-up. She had put on the façade she lived with daily because of her job, and sometimes it was still terrifyingly easy to become a completely different person, not to mention that lying seemed to very easy for her. But in that moment she couldn't care less. She had exactly in mind what she was doing, and she didn't feel any regrets.

So before she left the hospital, she took her gun and credentials and was finally ready to leave that godforsaken hospital room, even if it was against Collins' wishes. She couldn't care less. So she had stepped into the back of the black SUV that escorting her to Langley for her visit.

During the drive she kept herself together, and just stared out the window. With everything that was going on the physical pain had taken a backseat. She was too preoccupied with other things that barely focused on her health. She knew there were more important things to do than focus on her health. The doctor had suggested that she stay out of the field for at least two months with her shoulder, but that she was going to heal just fine. She had once again gotten out lucky. She had lived, she had defused a bomb and saved countless of lives. But the one personal threat was still out there, and it was one by the name of Christian Ward. She knew first-hand what the man was capable off, and wanted him in the agency's custody as quickly as possible.

The car was finally pulling up in front of Langley when JJ was still lost in thoughts. One of the agents looked at the backseat. ''Agent Jareau, we're here.'' he announced.

JJ snapped from her thoughts and opened the car door and stepped outside. She walked across the parking lot and prepared herself mentally for what was about to come. She had no idea how anything was going to turn out, but she knew exactly what she wanted. So with poise and grace, she passed security and walked through the rest of the building, all the while being accompanied by two agents, both of whom she knew for a long time. But she was too focused for chitchat and catching up. So when they finally reached SAD, JJ stopped in front of the door as one of the agents cleared security and she breathed in deeply.

Inside SAD, Collins and Owen were standing in front of the bullpen talking to the division and speaking about the case that had just ended. On the left side of the bullpen, Hotch was leaning against a desk. He had been able to squeeze his way into the investigation to keep some sorts of taps on what was going on with the case that surrounded JJ.

But then suddenly Collins and Owen stopped talking when the doors opened. Everyone turned around and the room bursted out into applause for JJ. Hotch moved away from the desk and moved to the middle of the room when he finally spotted JJ, his heart beating in his chest as if he was doing the most intense work-out in his life. He watched as she walked into the bullpen, her demeanor calm and professional, like he had never seen before. But it was incredibly attractive to him to see her so focused. Her eyes were pointed at Collins and Owen as she reached the middle of the room. Hotch's eyes looked at her from head to toe. She was wearing high heels and her bare legs seemed to never end. She wore a black skirt, blue blouse and black blazer and her hair flowed in long waves over her shoulders and back. She looked amazing, but there was also a certain distance he noticed in her expression. He didn't know if it meant any good. But in that moment he only wanted to pull her into his embrace, so he did just that. He stepped right in front of JJ, seeing her arm in a sling. ''JJ!'' he breathed out.

JJ immediately came to a halt, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of Hotch. ''Aaron!'' she said as she leaped into his arms, being careful with her arm as she felt his strong arms enclose around her waist.

''I was so scared, JJ!''

JJ looked over his shoulder, her tears threating to fall as she saw Owen marching towards them. She pulled away from Hotch and stepped back. ''Can you give me a moment, Aaron?'' she asked.

Owen saw that Hotch was about to walk away. ''Don't leave on my account!'' he smirked.

JJ could feel the tension between the two men, and she had no idea what happened to make it that bad. So she stepped between them to keep them apart. ''Owen…" JJ warned, hoping he wasn't about to pull anything reckless in front of her, which she knew he was good at doing.

''She really has you convinced, doesn't she?'' Owen mocked as he stared at JJ and Hotch together staring back at him in anger.

JJ wanted to say something but Hotch beat her to it. ''Maybe you should explain.'' Hotch insisted.

''The look on JJ's face right now says it all because she knows exactly what I am talking about, and it has her upset.'' Owen went on. ''Your relationship will never be more than it is in this moment. JJ is all about the CIA. She'll never give you a family, or marry you. She lies for a living, so how do expect anything to be real?''

JJ swallowed back her anger. ''Aaron, please go home. We can meet at our spot in about an hour.'' JJ assured when she knew he wanted to stay and kick Owen's ass. ''Aaron, go!'' JJ forced. She wasn't prepared for a fight between the two alpha males.

When Hotch finally walked away, JJ stepped right in front of Owen, her face filled with disappointment. ''What are you trying to achieve?''

''Collins wants a word with you in his office!'' Owen said as he ignored her very obvious question.

JJ stormed passed him and ignored the people watching her. She walked into the office and realized she was followed in by Owen, meaning he already had knowledge of the conversation she was about to have with Collins.

''The agency views you as a hero.'' Collins stated simply as he rose from his chair. He put both hands on the cold surface of his desk as he looked up at JJ, seeing her flat expression but he knew everything was getting to her. ''But I know better!''

''Sir, I…'' she tried to say but Collins interrupted her before a word could leave her mouth.

''Withholding evidence, lying to me, involving an outsider.'' he summed up. ''You put the reputation of this agency at risk! You risked everything, JJ.''

''JJ, I am sorry but you are fir…'' Collins began to say but JJ stepped in front of his desk, keeping her composure so he stopped his sentence.

''Don't bother!'' she said with ease. ''I quit.'' she stated, feeling proud of what she had just done. She took her gun from her waist, and her credentials and she slammed them onto his desk. She turned on her heels and was ready to walk out the door when she suddenly felt that she had so much more to say to both Owen and Collins. So she turned around, her face still expressionless. ''When I started here, I was so impressed by both of you and this division. I was in awe and strongly believed I didn't belong here.'' she went on. ''And all along I was right. This isn't the place for me.'' she said. ''It never was. You put everything above your own agents, sir.'' she said, her voice finally turning more emotional. ''Day after day I risked my life for the CIA. I save lives when I defuse a bomb after having been shot and beaten up, and what do I get? I am held in a hospital room and the person I care most about in this world isn't allowed to visit me!'' she snarled. ''Jill, was right.'' she said as she turned around.

''Wait!'' Collins said in shock when JJ was walking away. ''You spoke to Jill Myers?'' he asked, but JJ didn't turn around. ''JJ, are you going to work for her?''