A/N: Here's my next chapter. I have a feeling that after last chapter, most of you are disappointed or might hate me for what I did. When I first started this story I didn't intend for it to be longer than forty chapters, but as time went on more ideas popped into my head and I decided to make it longer. But to me that means more drama, more twists and turns, which means more hard times for JJ and Hotch. I don't want to go into detail about what I have planned for the rest of this, but if I go on as planned then this story isn't nearly over.

So here is my question for you guys: do you want happily ever after for JJ and Hotch now? Or do you guys want this story to go on while they might be apart longer as more happens (like Owen's motives will be revealed, more about JJ's family)?

I am asking you guys these questions because I don't want to disappoint anyone with the direction where this story is going. So please let me know in a review or a PM.

Special thanks to 2Addicted2YourLove, snuggleUP, jenny crum, Christiangirl, HotchRocks, cRiMiNaLmInDsObSeSsIoN, waiyeex90 and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 57: Leaving DC

Only a few minutes later, JJ was standing in the middle of the apartment. Tears were streaming down her face as she stood there in complete silence. Somehow saying goodbye to the life she always wanted to lead. Saying goodbye to him. She was facing the couch when her eyes fell upon a picture. It was the only she and Hotch had ever taken, but it was perfect in the very essence of it. It captured everything they were together. It was a selfie, taken with Hotch's phone. He was standing behind JJ, one arm wrapped around her waist, as he kissed the side of her head while she had the biggest smile on her face. She took the photo from the side table, her body starting to shake of its own volition. She could feel her knees go weak, so she sunk to the ground, the picture falling from her hand and shattering as it hit the ground. The pain she felt going through her body wasn't like anything she had ever felt before. For probably the first time in her life, her heart was truly breaking. She had hurt somebody she loved more than anything in the world. And the stupid thing was that it was for his own protection. If there had been any other way she would've made a different choice, but there was no other way. This was the only way, and she simply knew it.

So she stayed on her knees in the middle of the living room as she stared down at the picture that lay between the shattered glass, with tears streaming down her face.

It took her at least another fifteen minutes before she got up from the ground. She had given herself a small fraction of time to grief, and then get up and do what she had to. Hiding her feelings, stashing them away was something she had learned to live with long ago. And although this was going to take a little more time, she had to get herself together. So she was once again standing in the living room when she started moving. She hurried into the bedroom, grabbed her suitcase from underneath the bed and put it on the bed. She then began putting her clothes into it.

About half an hour later, JJ had everything packed. She didn't have many belongings in the apartment, but what she did have she had to take with her. There couldn't be any connection between her and Hotch anymore. It was for his own safety. But JJ knew it wouldn't make her worry any less. So she had another plan to keep Hotch safe, and she hoped it was going to work somehow. She knew it probably would. So she sat down behind the table with paper and a pen, and she began writing.

Dear Emily,

I don't know where to begin, or how to even start this letter. I am about to ask you something that I'll only trust you with, Emily. I've only known you for a short time, but feel that you will understand my situation better than anyone, so here it goes.

Circumstances have forced me to leave DC, and to leave behind the love of my life. I can't answer any questions regarding the circumstances, but all you need to know is that a threat is luring in my life at the moment. One that would put Aaron Hotchner's life at risk, and I can't, nor will I, take a chance with his life no matter how much pain it will cause both of us.

So my question for you is: can you make sure he's safe? I know you're about to get back from your overseas assignment, and I don't want to ask too much from you. But this is all that I ask. Keep an eye out for him, please.

If I know you as well as I think I do, I needn't worry. You have been an amazing friend, Emily. I hope to ever see you again. And if not, thank you for everything!

I wish you the best in life!

With love,

JJ

Once she was done writing the letter, she put it in her purse and rose from the chair. She put her purse on top of her suitcase, and pulled it with her to the door. She turned around one last time, burning every memory into her mind in case it was the last piece of happiness she'd ever have in her life. The last six months, she'd never forgot no matter what. It had made her a different person. Hotch had done that for her, and for that she was going to be forever grateful.

Right after JJ had left the apartment she had been picked up by one of Jill's agents to bring her to the airport. During the ride, she was staring out the window as she looked at the dark and empty streets. The ring was still clenched in her hand and she could feel another wave of emotions take her over, leading her to wonder how much time she needed to actually get over the last year of her life, or if she ever even could.

''Agent Jareau!'' the agent behind the wheel called out as the SUV came to a halt at the airstrip. ''Jill is waiting for you on the plane. I will take care of you luggage.''

''Thank you.'' JJ whispered as she opened the door and stepped out of the car carefully. She swung her purse over her non-injured shoulder and she breathed in deeply before she made her way towards the private jet. She carefully walked the small flight of stairs until she was met with the fancy interior of the plane. She hadn't been overseas for a while and she realized it was going to take some getting used to again, but this was the perfect opportunity for her. It was the best way for her to be distracted and make sure that Hotch's life wasn't put at risk.

JJ walked to the end of the plane where Jill was seated. She walked around the seat and shot her a small smile before she sat down across from her. ''Hi,'' JJ greeted softly as her head seemed to be somewhere else.

''Hello, JJ.'' Jill greeted, taking notice of the fact that JJ seemed to be very distracted. The look on her face was one of pain. ''I am glad that you decided to join the taskforce.''

''Thank you for the opportunity.'' JJ responded, trying to be present to make a good impression on her new boss. She was just hoping that Jill Myers wouldn't turn out to be anything like Collins. She couldn't work for another person like that again, but JJ had a feeling that Jill was fair and honest.

''Is there anything you would like to discuss with me?''

JJ leaned back in the chair, wincing as she felt a wave of pain going through her shoulder. ''What is going to be my function within the taskforce?'' she asked simply.

''I spoke to your doctor and he expressed his concerns about your shoulder. He said that it will be at least two months before you'll have full function of your shoulder again, so I am putting you in the charge of the technical operations. You'll be working with our analyst and you can stir them in the right direction in finding Ward because you know him best.'' she explained calmly. ''And if your shoulder is doing better in two months, I want you to take a few weeks of training. If everything goes well I'll be putting you back into the field because I know that's where you do your best work.''

''Sounds good to me.''

''Is there anything else?'' Jill asked, hoping that JJ would open up to her about what she was currently going through. She wished she could take the younger agent's pain away, but that would be highly unlikely.

''No,'' JJ mumbled.

Jill sat forward and put her elbows on the small table between their seats. ''JJ, please listen to what I am about to say.'' she began gently as JJ looked up at her. ''I know that this job can be incredibly hard. I know that you can never really be yourself. You're expected to be another person, to lie, and to be distant. It isn't easy and even the best of us lose it every once in a while.'' she continued on. ''But please do not hide your feelings. I don't expect you to be someone else, I don't want you to be. I believe that we can do our best on this job when we're ourselves.''

JJ nodded, not fully understand what she was trying to point out. ''What are you trying to tell me?''

''Do not hide from what you're going through.'' she replied. ''I've read your file, JJ. I know about your mother's murder and your father's absence in your life.'' she went on as she realized that a few tears were falling down JJ's cheeks. ''And now you're losing someone you love dearly in order to protect him. Don't hide from it. Talk to someone about it, even me if you want to.''

''Thanks.'' JJ said as she began to choke up. There she was, sitting across from someone who actually seemed to care. Someone who wasn't asking her to be perfect at her job, but was actually asking her to be a human being instead of a robot. ''I am hoping that the choice I made today will make sense one day because right now I feel like I'm in hell. I am breaking his heart to protect him. How is that ever going to be right?''

''It will never be right, JJ.'' Jill said in sadness. ''But you're sacrificing not only his happiness, but also your own and that speaks volumes. You might be breaking his heart but if it means that he's going to live, how can it ever a bad a choice?''

''I don't know how to move forward.'' JJ croaked out in honesty. ''He made me feel like I wasn't alone in this world. He was so real, so sweet to me. He reminded me of a normal life.'' she went on as a few more tears were stinging in her eyes. ''I don't know how to be without him, and I was only with him for six months but we both knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.'' she went on. ''I should've never been with him.''

''Would not knowing him have made your life better?'' Jill wondered out loud. ''JJ, this is not your fault. You did everything right.'' she encouraged. ''And don't forget that you were in a life or death situation a few days ago. That's something you'll carry with you for a long time.''

''Just take your time. That's what I am asking of you.'' Jill said as she rose from her seat. ''I'll tell the pilot that we're ready for take-off.''

JJ nodded slightly and breathed out deeply as she settled against the back of her chair. She opened up her hand to see the red markings of where the ring had been. She looked down at it, and could feel her tears worsen. She lifted the ring in the air by the necklace it was on. She had somehow managed to put it on a necklace at the apartment. With one hand she gently put the necklace around her neck and the ring fell against her chest. She looked down for a moment and put it further under blouse. To JJ it was a reminder of the love they had shared, and maybe even a promise for the future, but she didn't know whether Hotch had given it to her out of anger or love. She could only hope that he would understand her choice one day.