Prologue : Facing the truth
Remus, Tonks
13 june 1997, Hogwarts,
There she was, his Dora, his Tonks, tall of all her strength, her courage, her weakness. She had followed him up to the astronomy tower and wanted the explanation that she obviously deserved Why was he so strange with her, loving her one day, being distant the other and hating her the next? Why was he so protective over her but still feeling dangerous? Why, if she (freaking) didn't mind, was he so stressed about her being in contact with his wolf self? He had to tell her the truth, she deserved to know.
Maybe it will not dry the tears in her eyes but I hope she will understand…
It was a way for him to face it: his errors, his life, his disease … everything. He had to cry the horror out of him and as always, she was going to be the kind, wise and listening ear. Tears blurred his visions as the red lights of dusk made a bloody hallo around her innocent face (Damn it! Why was she so beautiful?). She looked unreal, the last burgundy rays of this sad day fading in her pale pink hair.
He had always thought burgundy was a great colour to express sorrow, pain, and deep sadness. And sad he was. Dumbledore was just dead and all happiness inside of him too. Life had made him realise how precious it was, and he didn't want to endanger or break anybody else's. He had to suffer for the others to have a good life. They couldn't stay with him, he would break them all. After all, his life really was at the pack, with all the other beasts. It was the only true place he could go and not be ashamed to hurt people… So, it was time for him to let her go, his love, his life, with who he was and who he had been. He had to let her go. With him. That's how much he loved her…
So he sat down looking right in her eyes, holding her hands so tight. It was the only thing he had ever permitted himself to do. He didn't want to make her hope more than she did. God, he loved that woman so much! But it was too dangerous. HE was too dangerous.
Let me go my love. For me. For you. Let me do that.
She sat down locking her eyes in his. She promised him one day that she would break his shell and she was just about to do so. Just about to finally see the real Remus, the Remus she knew, break through and set free. She loved him for that. For the person he was not, the person he was hiding so much that even himself didn't look like it was him. She was feeling so sad for him, she wanted to help him, take his hand and help him go through his life. She didn't want him to be alone anymore, she wanted him to be with her. What she really hated was the fact that he always wanted to be like everyone else.
I'm right here Remus, I finally here and not letting go. Just lay it all on me and we will walk together.
And as Fawkes began his painfull song in the darkness of the early night, two ever so little black forms, facing each other, began to write a story, even them could not understand.