A/N: Firstly, I am so sorry this chapter has taken so long! This really is where the story begins to turn - this is the exact halfway point. I'm working with 20 chapters total at the moment, and after this some questions will start to be answered.

This is a short chapter - however, something significant happens, so please don't let the length put you off! I would love your reviews, especially now I know where the story is going to go and how it will end - and how I will get there.

Enjoy - feedback always appreciated, as you know!

serenarian1 xx

Chapter 10 – Breaking The Habit

Ginny and I had been searching for hours. The rain was still pelting down, coming down in sheets and soaking us both to the skin. Ginny was holding the large umbrella, but it was little use due to the crazy angles of the rain. I anxiously pushed my sodden curls out of my eyes, raindrops mixing with the tears running down my face. "Where the hell is he. Ginny?" I half-sobbed. "We've looked everywhere I can think of."

She put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Mione. He'll be here somewhere. He can't have disappeared off the face of the earth."

"He doesn't know anywhere," I continued wearily, twisting my fingers together in confusion. "I just – I just don't understand where he could have gone."

"Hermione – please, try to calm down," Ginny urged. "We are out looking for him, Harry is out as well – between us we will find him." I knew she was right, but I was feeling a tumult of emotions that I couldn't begin to process. Worrying about Draco was giving me focus, and as I voiced this quietly she took me by the shoulders and shook me hard. "Don't focus on worrying! Use that legendary Hermione Granger intellect and focus on bloody finding him!" she chastised me. She was right, I knew she was right. I took a deep breath, cleared my throat and looked around. We were in a Muggle neighbourhood about a mile away from my flat.

"If he came out of my flat in a hurry, I daresay he would have just started walking," I theorised, "without thinking too much about where he was going. So more than likely, he would have walked a straight route without turning too many corners."

Ginny nodded in approval. "That's more like it! Now which way does your front door face?"

I thought for a second. "Um – west, I think. At the moment we're pretty much north of my house so if we go that way next?" I pointed in the direction I was referring to through the rain. She took my arm and we set off in that direction.

We had walked for about a mile when we began passing some shops. Ginny couldn't resist looking in the windows of the small boutiques and on seeing the off-license at the end of the road, let out a sigh of longing. "I never thought I'd say this, but looking at that Muggle booze shop makes me wish I had some Firewhisky right now."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What if he's gone to the Three Broomsticks? Or the Hog's Head?"

Ginny shook her head. "Nope – think about it. Malfoy wouldn't go to either of those places if he was upset, seeing that the last time he went anywhere like that he got called a Death Eater, remember?" She brushed her hair out of her face. "Plus, Harry has already checked them. The Leaky Cauldron, too."

I looked at Ginny in consternation. "I'm running out of ideas, Gin," I admitted.

Just as she opened her mouth to respond, the sound of shouting erupted from a nearby Muggle pub. We made our way over to see what the commotion was when I heard her gasp. "Mione – there he is," she said urgently, taking my arm and pointing down the alleyway next to the pub. I followed her finger to see Draco, slumped against a wall, a large bottle of Muggle whisky in his hand. I was running before I could stop to think, and skidded to a stop in front of him.

"Draco – what are you doing?" I cried. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

He looked up at me blearily. "Sur-surprised you even care," he slurred. This was bad. He was absolutely sozzled. Ginny and I shared a concerned look before I turned back to him, realising he was still mumbling. "-waste o'time, dunno why I fucking bothered…"

"Come on, Draco. Let's get you home," I said decisively, making a move towards him to help him up. He threw the half-full bottle at me, and I ducked instinctively as the bottle flew over my head and smashed on the opposite wall, splashing whisky everywhere.

"Don' wan your help. S'not my home," he argued stubbornly. I clenched my fists in uncharacteristic anger.

Ginny sighed in annoyance and waved her wand, muttering a few words that made Draco instantly sit up. "What did you do, redhead?" he demanded angrily.

She glared at him, and I winced. "I cast a Sobering Charm to ensure that you don't end up with pneumonia or some other kind of Muggle disease. Now get up," she responded coolly.

Draco looked at me, and I saw hurt and anger in his eyes. "I don't want to come back with you," he stated coldly. "Hermione made it quite clear where we stand. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to continue living there."

I stepped forward. "Draco – I'm sorry," I began. "I didn't mean it that way –"

"I don't want your apologies," he interrupted, holding up his hand. "You made it clear that you have closed yourself off from any kind of romantic entanglements, and I'm not going to try and talk you out of that." He brushed his wet hair out of his eyes and looked up, as if surprised that it was raining.

Ginny looked at me, and I didn't know what to say. "I'm going to Apparate home now that we've found him," she told me quietly. "I'll tell Harry to call off the search as well. Will you be all right on your own with him?"

I nodded. "Thanks for all your help, Gin." She nodded and Apparated away, leaving Draco and I alone. I turned back to him. "Draco – you're right, I did close myself off. But I care about you. You know that."

"Do I?" he retorted stubbornly. "All I know is that we were getting to a stage where I felt you were letting me in – I was enjoying the days, and then the next thing I know; you put this huge wall up and I find out you knew more about me than you let on. When you kissed me in front of Harry, I thought the wall was coming down, but no – bang! It's still up." He was pacing back and forth. "I don't understand it, Hermione."

I could do nothing but stare at him, my mouth falling open as I finally understood why he walked out. My comments about Ron had been the straw that broke the camel's back. In that moment, it all became very clear how patient Draco had actually been; and I felt absolutely wretched. I was responsible for this.

"I understand that you feel obligated to him, Hermione," he continued. "But I can't keep pursuing you if it's a dead end. It's not fair. I told you before – you are my world. You are all I know. And maybe I've been too intense, been too open with my feelings – but whether it's my fault or not, I can't deal with you pushing me away any longer."

I held up my hands, causing him to trail off. "Draco – I'm scared," I admitted finally, my voice hoarse. "I'm scared."

His eyebrows drew together in puzzlement. "Scared of what?"

I chuckled mirthlessly. "Of you! You were the poster boy for arrogance and elitism back in Hogwarts, and now – you are exactly the opposite. You are patient and kind and determined, and maybe you always were those things and I just didn't know – but it's strange for me, Draco. You seem like a different person and I keep holding back because I think, deep down, I'm worried that if I let you in then you'll revert to how you used to be and I couldn't handle that." I looked up at him after blurting it out, and felt a blush spreading across my face.

"Why couldn't you handle that?" he asked. "From what I've seen, you are one of the bravest and strongest people I've known."

I swallowed hard. "You make me vulnerable," I confessed.

He had stepped closer to me, his eyes never leaving mine. I could see they were a stormy grey and wondered what he was thinking. He didn't keep me waiting long. "Why do I make you vulnerable, Hermione?" he urged, his voice low and hoarse.

In that moment, I made my decision. "You make me feel something I haven't felt since Ron died," I choked out. "You make me laugh, you make me feel safe, and you make me feel like it might be okay to move on. When you're near me I can feel you without needing to touch you, and when you kiss me I forget everything else." He didn't say anything, those grey eyes still burning into mine, and I took a deep breath. "I think I'm falling for you, Draco."

He didn't respond verbally, not straight away. I felt his hands slide down my arms and his fingers interlaced with mine as he pulled me closer to him. His forehead touched mine and he closed his eyes, both of us breathing hard. "Hermione – I think I'm falling for you, too," he whispered. Before I could process what we had said to each other he had pushed me back against the wall of the alleyway and we were kissing hard; his hands in my hair. I clutched his wet clothing desperately, finally allowing myself to let go as I opened my mouth to his and caressed his tongue with mine. The rain continued pouring down in torrents as we embraced in that alleyway, but I was unaware of anything except his body pressed against mine and the way his kiss was sending little electric tingles through each of my nerve endings.

Eventually we broke apart, both of us smiling. "Hermione, I'm sorry for the way I acted and for what I did," he apologised. "It was selfish and childish. I just didn't think – I was so hurt."

I shook my head. "I should be the one apologising," I explained. "I said a lot of things to you that in hindsight I can see were confusing and unfair and I completely understand why you reacted the way you did." I tightened my arms around him. "I'm sorry I was too stubborn to see it and let you in. I can't promise it's going to be easy to let you in now, but I want to."

He shook his head. "No, Hermione – you said so yourself. For you, it's like getting to know someone new. I promise you – even if by some miracle I remember everything tomorrow, I won't stop feeling the way I do about you." His eyes held mine, and I was suddenly unable to look away. He rested his forehead against mine, still holding me tight; and all I could think in that moment was how right it felt. Part of me fought to be wary; my logical self was telling me that this was crazy and that this was insane to pursue. But a deeper impulse urged me to continue with this. And everything in me intended to do just that.