And so we have the next chapter and IF is introduced so we now have the Three Girl band with that one tag-along guy who is, for all intents and purposes, useless in an action sequence and whose only purpose of existence is to make snarky commentary. Anyway, review response time.

Holy Mercury: Thank you. Did you get the throat medication yet? Also, try not to raise your voice; it only aggravates your condition.

Eisenfaust: Again, I don't speak German. I tried running it through the unreliable translator again and it's not easy to make sense of most of it. However rest assured that the rest of the cast will be encountered. Also, 5pb will probably make an appearance. I'm not sure about Red as she doesn't appear in the sequel.

DMAsh: Thank you for that notification. However, I won't use !-? as it riles up the Grammar Nazi in me. The last time I tried that, I ended up with feathers in my teeth and another missing house pet. Also... I think I know what to do about Jacob's weapons. Stay tuned. Also, your name screws with the system so I'm afraid I'll have to make modifications. Sorry.

MegaRaziel: I prefer the term "brutally honest". Also, thanks for mentioning that but I should also mention that Jacob is not an OC but rather a self-insert. As he is still likeable despite this, it seems that I am doing a good job. In any event, he will not have no combat ability for the entire fanfic, otherwise that would be incredibly boring. Don't mind the bad English; I can understand at least some of it. Thank you and stay tuned.

And here is the new chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 4: New Friends and the Mission

The adventuring party (Neptune wanted to call it the Super Dimension Game Party and, with Compa's help, it became the official name but Jacob adamantly stuck to adventuring party anyway) walked to the city from the dungeon. Actually, to be more accurate, they walked from the dungeon to the cable car station, which they were now riding down to get to the city. Also, they ate some sandwiches that Compa prepared beforehand.

"Hey, Compa? You said that the military's having problems with monsters, right?" asked Jacob.

Compa nodded. "That's correct."

"Okay, so… why do we still have these cable cars going back and forth between Planeptune and the dungeons?"

"… I don't understand."

Jacob sighed. "Compa, the military is having troubles with monsters. We don't want the monsters on Planeptune but we still have these cable cars connecting Planeptune to the dungeons. Wouldn't it make much more sense to get rid of the cable cars so that the monsters can't use them to get to the landmass?"

Compa raised a finger and began to talk in an as-you-should-know fashion. "Well…" Then she stopped for a moment. "… that is actually a good idea."

"Furthermore," continued Jacob, "if the dungeons hold so many monsters but none of them have ranged defences, why not just bomb the dungeons from the air?"

Compa nodded as she followed what Jacob was saying. "That makes a lot of sense!"

"I knew it would." Jacob went back to eating his sandwich. "God, this thing is slow…" he said to himself.

Compa prodded Neptune on the shoulder. "Hey, Nep-Nep?" began Compa. "What happened to you back against the Guard Vermin?"

"Ah! Well, you remember when I had you all wait when that boss was attacking? Histoire was talking to me and she told me about the Hard Drive Divinity, or HDD, and it gives me great power!"

"And speed and flight," Jacob interrupted. "Don't forget that."

"Oh yeah, and great breasts too." Neptune didn't see Jacob headbutt the window. Such a manoeuvre would be called a "headwindow" but finding similar words to "headdesk" is a bit of a well-milked joke so it shall not be used.

"She transforms into her alter ego, Purple Heart," elaborated Jacob. "Have y-"

"W-w-what? Purple Heart?" Compa was absolutely flabbergasted. "Are you serious? That was Purple Heart?"

"Oh, is that what it's called?" asked Neptune.

"… yes? What about it?" responded Jacob.

"Purple Heart is the goddess of Planeptune! Green Heart, Black Heart and White Heart are the goddesses of Leanbox, Lastation and Lowee respectively! That means that Nep-Nep is a goddess! Did you know that?"

"What? Really?" asked an incredulous Neptune. "I'm a goddess? That's awesome! Jake, how long have you known?"

"Before I even got here."

"What? How?" asked Compa. "You were a foreigner who didn't even know that the landmasses floated!"

"Oh yeah…" Jacob thought for a moment. "I actually come from-"

"A secret network of spies!" interrupted Neptune as her hand intercepted Jacob's mouth with the speed of a flyswatter. "You see, Jacob is actually an intel-handler for this secret network of spies that operates deep within Gamindustri, answering to no one except their mysterious leader, and by mysterious leader I mean me! Only a few people even know they exist!"

"Wow!" Compa was amazed and, as always, highly gullible. "Is that true, Jake?"

"Actually, no I'm not. I'm really-"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry Compa," Neptune began to whisper in a really "dramatic" way, "but it's a really big secret. Jacob has to keep it from all of society, lest he betray the entire brotherhood and perish for his crimes."

Compa's eyes were filled with stars again. "That's amazing! Don't worry, Jake!" She put on a determined expression. "I will keep your secret if it costs me my life!"

"Neptune? Over here, please." Jacob made a gesture for Neptune to sit next to him, to which she obliged. "Compa, we're about to have a private discussion so if you could focus your attention elsewhere, that'd be great, thanks."

"Okay then." Compa looked out the window and began singing softly to herself. "Kono sekai ni umareta sono imi wa…"

"What the hell was that?" Jacob whispered harshly to Neptune.

"Well, I couldn't tell her that this entire place is all a video game, could I? It could put her through an existential crisis and you know how easily she cries! I mean, how would you react if you realised that your entire world was nothing but a video game?"

"I'd probably shrug it off and keep doing what I do."

Neptune was confused. "Really? You wouldn't, I dunno, go on a killing spree and murder bunnies?"

"Neptune," Jacob began, "I've thought to myself on more than one occasion, "What is the meaning of life?" Well, everyone's thought about that once or twice but there are only three of us in this gondola and I'm pretty sure you and Compa aren't thinking about it right now. Anyway, the thing is, I've stopped caring what my meaning is. I wake up in the morning, eat my three meals, play video games, talk with my friends, go on walks, listen to music and then go to sleep at night to do the same thing over again the next day. Real life or video game, it wouldn't be different at all."

Neptune blinked. "What does reality have to do with the meaning of life?"

"I dunno; I forgot where I was going. The point is, I'm here, this is my reality as well as everyone else's so I might as well live as if I'm real."

Neptune nodded subtly as Jacob spoke. "So… you are a video game character and you're aware of it but you're going to live a happy life anyway even if all you'll do is game over at the end of it?"

"That is about as close as you'll ever get to my meaning so I'm just going to say yes to that."

Neptune thought for another moment. "Okay. Maybe I'll live like that as well. Still, it's surprising that you're a video game character as well."

Jacob sighed. "I'm not a video game character."

"But didn't you just say you were?"

"It was… ugh." Jacob rubbed his forehead. "You know what, I don't care anymore."

"You just said you never did."

Jacob sharply inhaled through his nose in aggravation. "Compa," he spoke in a normal voice, "we're done."

"Oh," said Compa as she stopped singing. "Did you have a nice talk?"

"More or less."

"Okay then. Now, since we have had experience in dungeons now, we can go to other dungeons, kill monsters and save people! In fact, I know one that had a problem with a Sand Worm. Let's go there."

"But Compa," began Neptune, "we already gathered the fragment from Planeptune. Let's not waste any time and mosey to the next landmass!"

Compa didn't agree with Neptune. "No need to rush. This place is still threatened by monsters. We can't just leave the townspeople like this."

"Well… fine…" Neptune begrudgingly agreed. "Let's go clobber some monsters."

Jacob looked at Neptune… well, he seemed like he wanted to say something but he couldn't bring himself to do it. In a way, he seemed like a child on a stage during a play and he had to say a very embarrassing line. Thankfully, Compa noticed. "Is there something wrong, Jake?"

"Hm?" Jacob's head turned towards Compa. "Oh, no- actually, yeah but it's something I'd much rather discuss with Neptune in private."

"Do you want me to sing to myself again?"

"No, I'll just wait until later."

"Aw, don't worry, Jacob!" Neptune patted Jacob on the shoulder which made him shuffle away out of reflex. "… Anyway, you can tell Compa as well! We're a party now, so we support each other!"

Jacob covered his face with his hand as he thought this over. "Okay," he finally said after several seconds of silence. "I… want to go home."

"… Why couldn't you tell me that?" Compa asked a very sensible question.

"Because only Neptune knows where I came from."

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"… you know what? That's-"

Neptune pulled Jacob's head down to hers and whispered into his ear while covering it and her mouth with her hand. "Jacob! I know you have a strong heart but I don't know if Compa can take it! Just stick with my story and everything will be okay!"

"Are you sure you're not keeping my home a secret because you want it to be revealed in an epic plot twist to improve the story?" he asked, also whispering.

Neptune didn't respond right away; she just sat back normally while crossing her arms and pouting. "You kind of ruined the whole goddess thing."

"It wouldn't be ruined if the proof wasn't on the flipping box art."

"Um…" Both Jacob and Neptune looked back at Compa. "Should I be hearing this?"

"Oh, sorry," said Jacob. "Yeah, I don't think I should be telling you about where I come from."

"You know, confidentiality and all that," chipped in Neptune.

"In any event, I do want to go home. I mean, you saw how well I went in the tutorial dungeon. I don't have a weapon, I have no martial arts skills, I've seen people five years my junior with more athletic ability than me and I'm a pacifist in a world that I'm surprised doesn't have monster killing as a national sport. I don't think I'll do too well here; I think I'd be better off where I came from."

Everyone was silent for several moments. It was clear to Neptune and Compa- okay, maybe just Compa- that Jacob wasn't suited for a violent environment and that he would be much better off back at his less-hostile home. "Okay," said Compa to break the silence. "I understand. Do you know how to get home?"

"No, actually. I was hoping that Neptune would, considering we met at my home."

"Uh, heh heh heh…" Neptune rubbed the back of her head sheepishly while a giant bead of sweat clung to the front of her head as required by Anime Cliché #14. "I don't remember, sorry. Amnesiac." After seeing Jacob's dejected expression, she quickly waved her hands in front of her as required by Anime Cliché #16. "B-but don't worry! I'm sure that if we continue going through dungeons, we'll find a way to get you home! Don't worry; I don't mind my amnesia taking a back seat to your quest! Can't say the same thing about the fans but we'll be supportive of you every step of the way!"

Jacob looked at Neptune appreciatively. "Well… thanks, Neptune," he said with a smile.

"Anyway," she continued, "everyone knows that the answer to your personal struggles lies on the path of the main story. Therefore, let's go to the next dungeon and get the story underway!"

"Shouldn't we rest first? After-"

"Oh no!" Neptune cut him off very quickly. "Last time we rested before heading off to a dungeon, we wasted too much time. I don't want to waste any more . Also, we didn't even take a single hit point of damage in that tutorial dungeon and my Hard Drive Divinity should make short work of our enemies. We don't need to rest."

"I suppose that's fair enough. Let's go, then."

The next dungeon was a dark cave with bright purple crystals everywhere. Jacob referred to this type of dungeon as Cave #1. Already, he was bored.

"Bad guys hole up in caves, but I wonder if it's kinda like where they do the thing and make babies." Thank God for Neptune. "Sorry to intrude…"

"Okay, from now on, you are no longer allowed to speak unless it is important. Understand?" Jacob turned around and looked at Neptune so that he would come across as the "senior" so that she would be intimidated. Judging by Neptune's nonchalant expression, he guessed that she cared about his authority as much as he cared about hers.

"Compa, Jacob, it's dark so watch your step."

As Neptune was telling instructions to the progressing group, Jacob heard something from ahead. "Stop," he said to his acquaintances as he extended an arm to stop them from continuing. Thank goodness he did that, otherwise the girl that ran down the corridor would've ran right into Neptune. The girl was around about the age of Neptune and Compa and she had green eyes and long brown hair with a ponytail on the left side of her head tied up with a green bow shaped like two leaves. She wore a long-sleeved blue jacket that was buttoned up the middle (the buttons themselves were dome-shaped and freaking huge) over what appeared to be a black one-piece outfit with the leggings ending about a quarter of the way down her thighs and a belt around her waist with a silver square-shaped buckle. She also wore a black choker that was more of a strap unlike Neptune's tube-esque choker. Around the waist of her unbuttoned jacket, never crossing the opening that exposed her shirt and shorts, was a belt of nine boxes, each a different colour yet were all large enough to hold a closed cell phone. "Hello," Jacob greeted. "Who are you?"

The new girl just raised an eyebrow. "I'm IF," she responded. "I never would've expected that other people actually visit dungeons."

"Really?" continued Jacob. "I think it makes more sense if other people visit dungeons more often, given that even apprentice nurses know how to fight. Anyway, I'm Jacob." He extended a hand to her. "Pleasure to meet you."

She looked at it oddly before she looked at him oddly. "You know, you shouldn't be doing that to just any random person you meet; they could take advantage of you. I mean, being someone's blood brother doesn't mean-"

"It's a handshake," Compa and Jacob said simultaneously, the former cheery and the latter deadpan. "It's a form of greeting," Jacob finished alone.

"… Oh. Well," IF reached out to Jacob's hand and gave it a half-hearted shake, "It's nice to meet you, too."

"So what are you doing here?" asked Neptune. "Do you live in this icky cave?"

"Do I look like a ragged bum to you?" answered IF. "I'm here to eliminate the monsters at the request of the Basilicom. What are you doing here?"

"We're here because people are in danger, so we're here for the same reason. My name is Neptune and this here is Compa." Neptune gestured to the female nurse who walked forward and took a deep breath.

"H-hello," she stammered nervously. "I enjoy arts and craft and I'm good at math. I know I don't look it but it's something I'm quite proud of."

"Then, Compa, you are now in charge of our item inventory and accounting. Anyway, why not help us conquer this dungeon?" Neptune offered IF.

"What?" IF looked up from her red flip mobile phone. "Well, I guess the more help I get, the easier it'll be for me. Fine, we'll team up but know that you're joining me!"

Neptune's eyes filled up with stars; a curious genetic trait of those born from Planeptune and one that really intrigued Jacob. "You'll do it? YAY!" she cheered as she spun around. "Compa, Jacob, Iffy said she'll join our party!"

"I know, Neptune," said Jacob. "We heard; we're right here."

"Whatever," continued IF. "Don't call me Iffy. That's not my name."

"Now we really look like a party!" cheerfully exclaimed Compa. "We'll be together forever. It's a pleasure to have you with us." Compa reached her hand out to IF, who shook it without much enthusiasm before pulling away.

"Yeah, yeah, okay." IF couldn't help but smile at Compa's honest and nice character. What made her stop smiling and made her open her eyes very wide was something else that Compa said. "Wait, what; forever? No, just for now. This dungeon."

"Bzzzt!" Neptune completely ignored IF. "We're already a party, so you can't get away from us, even if you try! Abandoning your party is against the rules of this world! You got that, missy?"

As evidenced by the sweat flying off of her head, IF was completely flustered. "U-Um, no, but… it doesn't matter. Never mind."

"Wait," said Jacob, "doesn't the goddess punish the people who separate from the party?"

IF raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, Neptune is Purple Heart and I don't think she currently has any divine powers involving striking people with lightning should they abandon a party. I mean, she has amnesia." Jacob waited a bit for IF to respond but everyone knows that, whenever a sentence involving someone waiting for someone else to respond is written, the not-responding person is not responding for a reason. "… IF?"

"… I'm sorry," she began with her default expression, "could you repeat that first part again?"

"About Neptune being Purple Heart, Planeptune's goddess?"

"… Are you serious about that? I mean, we've just met and I'm not sure if I should trust you right now."

"Oh, he's serious all right," Neptune answered in Jacob's stead. "Let's clear out the dungeon and I'll prove my power to you!"

"Mhm," went IF with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Let's get moving. I want to finish this up quickly."

And so the party proceeded through Cave #1. At the first three-way turn, Compa turned left and Neptune and Jacob followed suit but IF went right, which didn't go unnoticed by Compa. "Um, Miss IF?" Compa called. "Where are you going? That's a dead end."

"I know but there's a treasure chest in there and I want it," responded IF as she kept walking.

"Really? Well, I'm gonna get it!" declared Neptune as she dashed past. She walked into a small circular room with two levels- the upper outer ring and the lower centre- and looked around feverishly but found no treasure chest; just more purple rocks and glowing pink crystals. "… I don't see a treasure chest."

"That's because it's invisible." IF was followed into the room by Jacob and Compa. "My Bandit Bangle can find invisible treasure chests and lead me to them. However, I've been to quite a few of these dungeons before and I can already guess where it is." She walks over to the left side of the outer ring. She then raises her right arm and a shining white light is emitted, which then arcs into the air…

… and ends on the spot a few centremetres next to her.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," she groaned.

"What's the matter?" Neptune asked.

"I have to be exactly next to the treasure chest for it to appear. Worse, it takes about maybe ten seconds for it to recharge so that I can use the bangle again. I know it sounds brief but it feels like it takes forever. Anyway," IF moved closer to where the arc ended, "here we go again." She then activated the bangle again and, sure enough, a treasure chest came into existence. This one, however, was blue, unlike the brown chests the old party encountered before. "As you can probably guess, the items in these treasure chests are much better than the ones from regular chests. Let's see, what we have here is…" she opened the treasure chest rather normally and pulled out, "… a leather bracelet. Eh, I suppose it's better than what I have now." With that, she took off her watch, put it in her pocket and put on the bracelet. "Let's go," said IF as she ushered the group back out to the main part of the dungeon.

The party of four walked for maybe a minute before a monster suddenly appeared in front of them again. Jacob nearly got a heart attack but he composed himself. By the way, it wasn't the monster appearing that spooked him but rather the monster appearing. What stood before the party was… well, the closest Jacob could come to when comparing the thing to something was a Cyclops gorilla that stood upright and wielded a giant club with one side of the head covered in metal. It had what looked like a tail of purple feathers protruding from the back of its head and its face was covered in a grey metal mask. It wore two red gauntlets with golden claws and it had a red ornament of sorts as maybe torso armour with golden circles embedded in it. It also seemed to wear stereotypical Arabic shoes except the points were flatter.

"… oh dear God," muttered Jacob as Neptune and Compa got into a fighting stance. Again, they were in combat. What Jacob noted, however, was that IF seemed to hang behind Neptune looking rather indifferent.

"Decisions, decisions," said Neptune to herself as she was thinking.

Jacob walked up to IF. "What are you doing?"

IF looked at him as if he had grown another head. "Jacob, what are you doing? You're supposed to be fighting!"

"News flash, dearest," Jacob noted that such a term made IF's eye twitch but, of course, he ignored it, "I don't have a weapon."

"Then use your martial arts."

"Which I don't have."

"… you seriously came here without any way to defend yourself?"

"In hindsight, I realise that that was a very stupid decision and I will not do it again. However, my question remains unanswered; what are you doing back here?"

"Well," started IF, "you can only have three people fighting on the front lines but you can have up to three people hang in the back and switch out with the person they're assigned to when the need arises. It's only been around for, say, ages. How do you not know this?"

Jacob facepalmed. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this RPG combat system is arbitrary bull at best."

"No, you're not," IF sighed. "I think it's very stupid as well. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it because the goddess will punish me."

"Neptune's a goddess and trust me when I say she has no ability to punish you."

"Unfortunately, I don't trust you because you could be trying to get me killed."

"Why would I try to get you killed?"

"I don't know but I'd much rather be careful. After all, I just met you."

Jacob rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "Okay," he said, clapping his hands together as he walked towards Neptune and Compa. "Girls, could I talk with you for a bit? IF, you too?"

"Oh, sure," replied Compa. "What is it?"

"Well, I have a plan for taking care of this thing. Neptune, could you hand me your gun, please?"

Neptune held her revolver close to her chest. "But Jacob! This…" To Jacob's surprise, Neptune's expression softened a bit and she remained quiet for a moment or two to think to herself. "… Here you go, Jacob." She placed the gun in his open right hand. "Use it well."

"… Thank you, Neptune," Jacob said, thrown off by Neptune's sudden charitable nature. He held the gun in his hand, weighing it. "Anyway, my plan is this; myself and Compa will shoot the toes of that… thing-"

"A Jaki."

"Thank you, Compa. Anyway, we will shoot the Jaki's toes which will cause it to fall down and remain defenceless, then Neptune and IF will charge in and kill the thing. Any objections?"

"Um," began Compa, "you told me you were a pacifist. Are you okay with this?"

"Well… in the tutorial dungeon, I noticed that the monsters burst into data when they were killed. While I have a problem with killing intelligent living creatures, I'm perfectly okay with killing artificial constructs that can just be rebuilt later."

"Wait; the monsters are fake?" asked Compa.

"I thought so too," said IF. "I've killed a few monsters before but none of them turned into data when killed like the most recent monsters. Anyway, I have a problem with your plan; we have to take turns while fighting."

"Neptune," Jacob turned towards the purple-haired girl, "as Purple Heart, our goddess, will you punish us if we break the rules of turn-based combat and break the party member limitations so that all four of us may fight at the same time?"

Neptune put her hand to her chin and closed her eyes in thought. "Hm… that's a tough one. While it would be quicker to kill the Jaki by attacking all at once, it breaks a lot of traditions. Sadly, I cannot heed your request as-"

"I will buy you dinner," interjected Jacob quickly.

"Sorry, did I say that I couldn't let you do that? Of course, I meant I COULD let you do that and by "could", I mean "will"! Let's put the plan into action!"

"Now look here," IF spoke to Neptune with a more forceful tone, which was a rather good indicator how she felt about all this. "You may be convinced that you're a goddess but I'm not falling for it. If you want to convince me that you are indeed Purple Heart, you're going to need proof. Understand?"

Neptune blinked. "You want me to prove that I'm a goddess?"

"I won't believe that you are until you do."

A wide grin made its way to Neptune's face. "If you say so!" She then began to glow in a purple light. "Planeptune Power! Make up!" And then the transformation took place.

When IF opened her eyes after the blinding light faded away, someone else stood where Neptune stood… no, it was Neptune, just transformed. Now she was taller, more mature, more powerful and, to IF's chagrin, more buxom. She was hoping she wouldn't be the only flat one of the group for once. "… what… Are you… Purple Heart?" IF could barely get the words out due to the shock.

"If what Jacob says is true-"

"Which it is," Jacob said.

"- then I am indeed Purple Heart, the goddess of Planeptune. Do you still have your doubts?" Purple Heart asked calmly in stark contrast to her untransformed self.

"Uh, um… yes- no. Yes." IF rubbed her forehead. "Sorry, this is… a lot for me to take in."

"Take all the time in the world. In the meantime, let's get the plan underway. I'll take the first shot." Jacob held the revolver with both hands and aimed the barrel at the Jaki's foot.

"Do you have the fire bullet loaded?" asked Compa.

Jacob looked back at her. "I'm sorry; the what?"

"The fire bullet. The one that we got after killing the Dogoo and the Pixelvader."

"… you never told me that we got something like that."

Compa looked at the ground, slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry; I got distracted by Nep-Nep hitting you and me treating your wounds." IF raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, just open the cylinder and rotate it to the fire bullet and then close it again."

Jacob followed the instructions. It took him a while to open the cylinder but he managed to figure out the mechanism. "Okay, now do I shoot?" At Compa's nod, Jacob raised the gun to aim down the iron sights at the Jaki's toes. "Ready, Compa?"

"Absolutely." Compa had her syringe aimed at the same area (at least, Jacob hoped so; it was hard to tell where Compa was aiming when she held the syringe at her hips).

"Okay. Fire when I do."

It went well enough; the Jaki roared in pain as Compa's fire bullet bullets impacted the middle of the Jaki's foot and it fell down on its face as exerting pressure on the injured foot caused it pain. Jacob's shot missed by a bit but at least it worked. Anyway, Purple Heart was quick to fly over to the behemoth and stab it right through the back with absolutely no blood or gore occurring. When that didn't perform a one hit kill, she stabbed it again.

And again.

And again.

"Why isn't it dying in one hit?" she asked out loud as she stabbed the Jaki again. "The Guard Vermin perished with a single swipe of my sword, so… wait." Purple Heart then attempted a horizontal swipe. It was just as effective as the stabs. "Never mind. Why is this so much tougher than the Guard Vermin?"

"Nep-Nep!" Compa shouted. "You activated your powers for the first time against the Guard Vermin and so your new form needed to be shown off to show how powerful you are! It won't work again!"

"… well, that's disappointing." Purple Heart resumed stabbing the Jaki.

Jacob turned to IF. "What are you waiting for? Get in there."

IF was silent and still. It was clear that she wanted to help but she was fearful of something. Jacob sighed and walked in front of her. "IF," he began, "I know it's not easy to believe that Neptune's a goddess and that a goddess is walking right in front of you. Trust me; if I was in your position, I'd do the exact same thing. However…" Jacob tried to think. "Neptune can't kill that thing fast enough and Compa and I can't shoot because, frankly, we're not good enough to shoot without the risk of hitting her." Jacob suddenly got an idea. "You saw us defy the battle mechanics of this world and we're not dead yet. Surely you can do the same?"

IF remained quiet for a bit. "…"

Jacob sighed. "Please? Don't you want to do it?"

"… okay." IF looked up at Jacob. "I'll do it." She extended the knife blades out from her sleeves, miraculously not getting caught in them, and charged at the Jaki. With several more stabs, the Jaki finally burst into data.

Neptune found herself back in her normal form. "Yippee! That's one more monster dead!"

IF looked at her hands after she withdrew her daggers. Jacob walked up to her. "You okay?" he asked.

"I did it," she muttered. "I knew the rules of this world and I've been taught not to defy them, stupid as they are. Yet, I still went and killed the Jaki in a way that goes against everything I've been taught."

"And? How do you feel?"

IF flexed her fingers. "Weird, but…" A smile crossed her face. "Somewhat… liberated."

Jacob smiled. "That a girl. Come on, let's move."

The party moved onwards through more twists and turns and copy-pasted environments until they finally reached the Sand Worm which stood in front of another circular room. To Jacob's surprise, it didn't look very threatening at all; it had the body of a seal but its tail had some sort of big orb-like choker separating it from its tip which seemed to have four tendril-esque points that moved independently. Its head seemed to be the only feature that came across as somewhat threatening, as it had a big open circle for a mouth with eight triangular teeth (how does it chew its food without the ability to open or close its mouth?) and it had twelve large reddish bumps circling its head. What really undermined the scare factor of the Sand Worm was that it wasn't that much taller than Neptune.

The fact that it didn't move from its position even when the party was in plain sight didn't help either.

"Okay," began IF, "as this is a boss monster, we should be extra careful when fighting it. Of course, the usual tactics of attack relentlessly and heal when necessary aren't really going to change much; the only thing separating this thing from other monsters are its slightly higher stats." IF sighed. "Why are our monsters so boring? Anyway, we just need to approach it, interact with it and kill it."

"I have a better idea," said Jacob. "Why don't we just shoot it from here? As monsters here follow the rules of combat here, we can just pick away at it until it finally falls over because it won't do anything to counter."

Compa was hesitant. "That's a good idea Jacob but remember in the tutorial dungeon how that Dogoo attacked you when you broke the rules? And the Guard Vermin who just attacked us outright?"

"Wait a moment." IF held up her hands in a 'back it up' motion. "You actually encountered a Guard Vermin?"

"… yeah?" responded Jacob. "What's wrong with that; are they rare or something?"

"Very rare. Even I've never encountered one and I get around a lot."

"Hey, Iffy? If you're such a traveller, then why are you basically the same level as us?" Neptune asked.

Of course, she shouldn't have. IF's button was pressed and she was riled. "For your information-"

Before the fight could escalate, Jacob stepped in. "Hey, hey, hey, we've kind of got a monster to deal with here. Can we save the inter-party fights until afterwards?"

IF exhaled. "Fine. Let's kick that worm's ass." She protruded the knives from her sleeves and held them parallel to the ground while she had one leg in front of the other. To Jacob, she looked more like she was doing a snake impression with her arms while trying to tango with someone.

"Alright, so how are we going to do this; are we going to shoot it until it dies or are we actually going to-"

Jacob's inquiry was cut short by the sound of two gunshots coming from IF. The Sand Worm flinched but it didn't retaliate. "Even if this'll provoke the thing, at least we'll do damage to it before the fight starts," reasoned IF before shooting again.

"Fair enough." Jacob got out his revolver and also shot at the Sand Worm along with Compa. Jacob stopped firing when Neptune transformed. "What did you do that f-" Jacob was cut short again by the sound of a gunshot coming from the purple pistol that Purple Heart now held. "… where you were keeping that?"

"Just as this transformation gives me a sword, it also gives me this gun. Now, let's attack."

And so the party shot away at the Sand Worm. Over and over, fire bullets were shot and the Sand Worm kept flinching. The party was beginning to get bored by this; IF wasn't even looking directly at the Sand Worm anymore. This caused one of her bullets to miss and ricochet right past Compa's knee.

"Aah!" she yelped.

"Sorry!" IF apologised and kept firing.

After maybe five straight minutes of this arm-numbing exercise, the Sand Worm finally got tired and attacked. It jumped forward with the same amount of ease as the Guard Vermin did- which didn't fail to confuse Jacob- and lunged at IF. Fortunately, IF was agile enough to jump back before the boss struck.

"Okay, it's cheesed. Neptune, IF, Compa, skewer the thing. I'll keep shooting," instructed Jacob.

"Right." The girls ran up to the Sand Worm and began meleeing it to oblivion while Jacob shot at the areas where he was least likely to shoot his comrades. After a few more minutes of this, the Sand Worm finally perished and became data again.

"Well, that went well," commented IF after retracting her blades. "Now, let's go."

After getting out of that horrid dungeon, the characters decided to talk amongst themselves. As IF was out of the loop, the agreed course of action was to inform IF of the plot. It was also agreed that it should be Jacob who retold the story to the newcomer (the decision came to pass because Neptune wanted to tell the story and Jacob insisted that that was a bad idea and so the storyteller choice came down between Compa and Jacob and it was the latter who volunteered). The story took a bit of time to tell and, by the time Jacob was finished, the cable car had already reached the main landmass.

"So, basically, you're all looking for Key Fragments for this… Histoire person," IF clarified.

"Never mind that!" shouted Neptune. "I wanna know more about that big fight I got into with the other goddesses!" Oh yeah; Jacob also explained a few other things that he neglected to mention earlier. "I mean, the other three ganged up on me and pushed me off of Celestia? Why would they do that? That's not very nice."

Jacob shrugged. "I dunno."

Neptune did not like this answer. "What do you mean, "I dunno"?"

"I. Don't. Know. I just know it happened, not the why or the how or the when. Anyway," Jacob turned back to IF, "that's about right. Thank you for conveniently summarising the plot thus far."

IF crossed her arms. "You mentioned that Histoire was sealed away by this… "witch" called Arfoire. Any idea why she'd do that?"

"I'm assuming it's to take over the world like always. Histoire proved to be an obstacle and Arfoire needed to get rid of her. Simple."

IF eyed Jacob with scrutiny. "One thing just doesn't add up, though… how do you know all this? You said yourself that you were an outsider who's never even been in Gamindustri before now. You can't be from Celestia, otherwise you'd know what exactly happened up there with the goddesses. So, who are you and why do you know all of this stuff?"

"Okay, fine." Jacob was unperturbed by IF's "interrogation". "I'm actually from-"

"A secret network of spies!" Neptune interrupted. "I, Purple Heart, have a secret underground network of spies dedicated to gathering information for me! Jacob is one of their elite operatives."

"Uh huh." Unlike Neptune or Compa, Jacob could easily tell that IF did not believe her story one bit. "Jacob, is that true?"

"No."

"Crackers, Jacob!"

"You're… not really from a network of spies?" Compa was mildly shaking by this point, having realised that she had been told a lie.

"I thought so," commented IF. "Now who are you, really?"

"You know, I'd love to stay here and chat but I'd much rather get going to the next objective. I'll explain on the way. Where do we go now?"

"Before we do anything, I'd like to get you a weapon. A proper weapon, one that you can actually use. Therefore, I'd like to go to the shop and get one for you."

Jacob pondered this for a moment. "Sounds good. Let's go."

And so the party walked off in order to find Jacob a new weapon.

My God, these dungeons are more boring to write about than they are to explore in the game. This will probably improve in later chapters as they focus more on the other characters rather than the bloody dungeons. Anyway, critiques are welcome.