I almost, just for a split second, wished Duo hadn't asked me to dance. I didn't feel right, leaving Master unguarded in a room full of other masters. If he made a wrong step, said a wrong word, there could be repercussions to all of us. With no one there to guide him, no one to take the fall, he was vulnerable.
But even as I thought this, Wufei's head turned slightly and met my eyes. An understanding passed between us, warrior to soldier. He was honorable, and I think that he was beginning to see that, at the very least, Master was far more honorable than the other masters here. Wufei was trustworthy, and his eyes told me that he would guard Master in my stead. With a capable slave such as Wufei watching Master, I felt I could relax just a touch.
Duo was a surprisingly good dancer. He caught the rhythm quickly and moved into the dance, spinning like a professional. I had expected him to attempt something indecent, perhaps a trick he had shown off in the Collar competition, but he was a picture of purity, never even slipping outside the required step for the dance. His caresses to my body as we met, circled, and parted were light, teasing, and perfectly acceptable at even the most prudent gatherings. Still, I could see from the smile on his face that he was enjoying himself. His infectious grin spread to my eyes, though it still could not melt the stone that kept my lips sealed in a stiff, straight line.
To our right, Trowa and Quatre were dancing at the same languid pace the classical music set, but were slightly closer than Duo and I. When the dance required for them to embrace, Quatre laid his head on Trowa's chest, and Trowa pressed his cheek into Quatre's silky locks. I felt a sharp twinge of jealousy, but I couldn't tell if it was jealousy because of how close the two were, or jealousy because there was no one to hold me like that.
Duo must have sensed my sadness, because the next time I spun him he came back a little too hard, hitting into my chest. I would have thought it an accident, but he grinned at me and rubbed his cheek against mine. Then, in the next instant, he was once again dancing as though nothing had happened. But the warm feeling would not leave my chest.
The dance sped up again, and we were once again twirling, this time as a pair. As we circled, I noticed first that the Duke had joined Master, and second that Master was frowning. In the next passed, I found that Madam Long had left, and Master was suppressing a glare. I worried and wondered if I should go help, but the next turn of the dance had already pulled me away. I nearly tripped Duo, rushing to turn again so that I could see Master. But when I did turn, I found the table to be empty. I felt a flare of panic, but soon caught sight of Master leading Wufei toward the dance floor.
The dance finished and there were a few seconds for some dancers to sit down and others to join. As Master and Wufei entered the dance floor, I pulled Duo over to where they were standing, and noticed that Trowa was following suit. We arrived just in time to pick up our respective partners and begin the next song.
As we danced, I noticed many people staring at us. Curiosity piqued, I tried to figure out what could interest them so. After careful scrutiny, I realized the picture we made, with two angels and two demons surrounding the dancing pair of Master and the dragon. It seemed almost as though we had carefully selected the costumes to highlight not only our own beauty, but that of Master. Surrounded by angels and demons and dancing with a dragon, his golden hair highlighted by the gold of his clothes and the deep ruby of his coat, Master looked like an immortal god, come down to the plain of man for a lusty and lavish affair. Dragon seemed to be his guardian, and we angels and demons seemed like subjects under his benign rule.
The party took several more hours, longer than most of the other parties, but it was over far too soon. Always at the back of my mind as the last dances were finished and the party began to dispense was the slithering feeling of despair. I had been able to block out the thought at the beginning of the party, but as it came to a close there was no denying that I would soon bid my last goodbye to Duo. I felt that I could barely allow him out of my arms to spin as we danced, for in the next moment I knew he would be plucked from me.
But I was being irrational, and I knew it. I chastised myself time and again for the longing I felt for the beautiful boy. I had only known him for a few days, there was no conceivable way I could have formed an emotional attachment that quickly. A few short months ago, before Master had taken me, I had not been sure I was capable of emotional attachments, and now I thought I was... affectionate toward a slave I barely knew? The only logical reasoning I could come up with was that I merely lusted after him, which was selfish and low. I knew Duo hated being thought of as a sexual toy, and I was also aware of my lusty Master who would gleefully help me satisfy my needs. And yet I still greedily lusted after something that was not mine? Someone who had shown no interest in me other than on a platonic level? I dared to betray my Master by becoming enchanted by a slave who could barely tolerate Master, and who Master could barely stand as well?
But there were pluses to Maxwell to balance the scale. Firstly, he was famous, or perhaps infamous, which got Master the publicity that he needed. And to have seemingly tamed Shinigami was getting more and more masters to look toward Master Zechs as a potential ally or threat. Along with Wufei, Master had successfully tamed the two most stubborn and aggressive slaves at Collar in his first year, and the public could see that. It was important for the other masters to see he was serious about Collar, so that they would share some of their techniques with him in the summer. Masters commonly held parties at their private residences during the summer to solidify their allies and share training techniques and information about the upcoming Collar. It was important that Master gain information from the more experienced masters, and Duo had almost guaranteed that he would get invited to several parties in the summer.
But would Master think it was worth the aggravation of keeping him? He would certainly see the risk of Duo acting up in front of some important allies and hurting his reputation. Could Master truly tame Shinigami? If anyone could, I knew that it would be Master, but I wondered if Shinigami was tameable at all. And Master seemed to look forward to Duo's leaving. Was he jealous of the time I put into Duo? Was he afraid I would turn my affections toward the other slave? Certainly he couldn't doubt my loyalty, for Master was most important in my life. But... Duo... needed me. As strong as he was, he was as easily frightened as he was angered, and as easily depressed as he was excited. And I wondered, often, if he wasn't sad more often than he was happy, for the smile on his lips rarely touched his eyes, and I had noticed that his smile disappeared the instant he thought he was alone. There was a longing in him that was the same for the rest of us, but he had been hurt so much more that he was afraid of reaching, afraid of hoping. Certainly I could understand the instinct that led Duo to push away what he wanted most, for fear of having it stolen again.
The dance ended, and I realized that I hadn't paid attention through most of it. It was lucky that I was decent at multitasking, for I felt that I needed to think things through, and now was my last chance. Within the hour, Duo would be returned to the warehouse, and by the next day would be auctioned off or killed. As far as rumor went, the older masters were tired of trying to tame the Shinigami, and none of the new masters had enough money to purchase such an expensive slave. Master was Duo's only hope, and it was a slim hope at that.
Final goodbyes were made, and an unusually large amount of masters came to wish Master farewell. It seemed that we would be invited to many parties over the summer. I shuddered at the thought. I had been hoping for some peace to train before returning to the Collar competition. The constant partying was beginning to wear me out, and social graces had never been a particularly appealing aspect for me.
When we were finally able to leave we boarded an elevator to return us to our floor. It was then that Duo began to return to his usual personality, first by tugging on his costume, then by taking off his mask, and finally be dropping down to sit on the floor. There were a lot floors in the station we were on, and we were all tired, but none of us were tired enough to plop down on the floor, and I knew Duo was just doing it to irk Master. I wanted to smack him, though Master patiently ignored the behavior. This, in turn, irked Duo, who decided to try again.
"What a shindig, huh? Never seen so many jerks together in one spot, huh?" Duo said, smirking hatefully at Master, but was again ignored. He went on, undaunted. "It's like they all come together once a year, every jerk in a mile radius, come together at one party to do all kinds of stuff," he tried again, with the same result. "I'll be glad to get back and wash the smell out of my hair. You gonna let me use the big shower this time, or you wanna hog it all for yourself again?" Duo asked Master.
"We won't have time," Master finally responded.
"Hey, look, it's not that late and I may have long hair but I don't take hours to-..."
"We don't have hours. You forget, you go back to the warehouse tonight," Master informed him tonelessly, his face cold and blank. Duo looked shocked for a minute, then returned to the angry scowl he had worn since he started his verbal assault.
"That's fine. I'm tired of putting up with you all the time anyway. You and all your friends from the party. And what a party, too!" he gushed with sarcastic enthusiasm. "Bunch a richy-riches, huh? Spared no expense- Well, except when it came to food. But then, who needs food when you're pouring enough alcohol down your throat to knock and elephant on its butt, huh? Guess they forgot the poor little slaves, though. Couldn't even give us a damn drink. Psh. But it's okay, no hard feelings. Freaking masters..."
"Duo, you're babbling," I muttered. He gave me a scathing glare.
"So? I'm hungry! I talk when I'm hungry! That a problem?"
I shot a glare back and opened my mouth to retort when Master sighed and pressed the stop button on the elevator.
"If it will keep you quiet," Master said, "we'll stop and get something to eat. I'm a bit hungry myself."
"Uh-..." Duo hesitated, shocked by Master's generosity, then his face lit up. "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"
The doors opened and Master led us out of the elevator. I followed right behind him, and Duo followed excitedly at my heels. By the time we arrived at the bakery and Master placed our orders, Duo was almost dancing in his spot.
The food placated Duo, and we finished the journey in relative quiet. Duo often became tired after eating a substantial meal, and tonight was no different. By the time we arrived back at the room, I was almost carrying him.
"Put him in the slave's quarters," Master instructed. "We have some time before he has to be back and I was going to have a cup of coffee before we go."
I nodded and took Duo to lay him down, but when I went to set him down on the bed, he grabbed my arm and opened his eyes, instantly awake, but still groggy from sleep.
"'M I back 'lready?" he mumbled.
"No. You fell asleep and Master said you could rest a bit before leaving," I told him, settling him on the bed and moving to sit beside him.
"That's good. I don't know if I'll get any sleep in the cage, that damn hay itches! Wanna be energized for tomorrow, whether I'm trying to attract a master or lookin' to make a quick escape. All this food lately, too. Man, I haven't felt this good in a while now..." he said, drifting back to sleep even as he spoke. With Duo, it was all ups and downs. When he was happy, he was always exuberant, excited, constantly moving and laughing. But just as quickly as he went up, he came down, and he would often crash with the same speed he used to be happy.
As Duo slept, I ran my hands through his hair and watched his cherub face relaxed peacefully in a fitful sleep. It wasn't hard to convince myself to do what I knew needed to be done, not while looking at that face. Gone were all the masks of the daytime, all the fears and anxieties, the phobias and the pain. Were we really so different, in the end? He covered his fears with masks of emotions, while I hid mine behind a stony indifference. In the end, though, wasn't the result that same?
The question was almost too charged for me, and I quickly escaped into the kitchen, where Master was having a cup of coffee and a dose of aspirin. I joined him at the table, watching as he sipped desperately at the hot liquid. I knew Master had a habit of getting headaches, particularly when he was having problems with his slaves. He had used up an entire bottle of aspirin on the arrivals of Quatre and Trowa, and was almost through a second with the tensions caused by Wufei and Duo. I didn't doubt he had snuck a couple tablets on my behalf, as well. But, strangely enough, even when his headaches were the worst, he was still even tempered with us. He might snap more and growl once or twice, but he never punished more or less with the ebb and flow of his headaches.
And he was beautiful. It was hard to deny it, even as shallow as it might seem, but we were lucky to have a master who was not only kind, but also beautiful. Many slaves were cursed with repulsive masters, and many were forced to dose themselves with drugs in order to perform. Master was a strong, gentle lover, who was always careful to arouse and satisfy me. I could only say me, of course, because I was not aware of his having intercourse with any of the other slaves except Trowa, who had not spoken of that night, nor had he repeated it.
And, as I sat there, staring at Master as he casually sipped his coffee, never losing his air of beauty, refinement, and grace, I was afraid. I was afraid that, by asking for more, I would endanger what I already had. What if Master thought I was greedy? What if he thought I was selfish? I could find myself on the blocks, just like Duo, and how would that help him? And I doubted that Master would say yes anyway, because he hated Shinigami so much. And Shinigami had gotten out of tighter situations before, right? I... I couldn't go back to that. I wouldn't survive.
So I sat there, half a foot away from the only man who could save Duo, and said nothing. I couldn't move, couldn't feel, couldn't breathe. I felt like the stone man I had been before Master found me, and I was too afraid to break free. I fought, against the fear and the uncertainty, but it seemed as though I was losing ground every second. And by the time Master finished his coffee, I had been buried alive.
"Go get Shinigami," he instructed, and I rose to do his bidding without a moment of hesitation. No, a good slave would never hesitate. A good slave did their master's bidding instantly, without thinking of the consequences.
I walked noiselessly to the slave's quarters, just as I had been trained to, and opened the door without a sound. To my surprise, Duo was already awake, sitting on the bed and braiding his hair. He smiled at me as I entered, but I did not respond. Could not respond.
"Heero, my man. You come to pick me up for the long road?" he asked, a lopsided grin on his face that I did not allow myself to interpret.
"Affirmative. The Master wishes to return you now," I informed him. His smile faltered into a confused look, and I was about to repeat myself when he tied off his hair and stood.
"Hey, man, don't get so upset. There was nothing you could do, huh? Everybody's gotta go sometime, and maybe now's not my time. Maybe it is," he said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "I mean, I wouldn't have had this great time if it wasn't for you, 'cause the asshole would 'a got rid of me the second my cruddy bare feet touched his manicured carpet if it weren't for you. I know how much it took to keep me out of trouble, and how many times you jumped in on my behalf. So... thank's, man. I really owe you one," he said with a wink before preceding me out the door.
How could he be so brave in the face of such a bleak future? Wasn't he afraid of death? Couldn't he see what lay ahead of him? Or was he only trying to spare me guilt at seeing him go?
Whatever the reason, I could only feel awe as I watched him stride through the door, as though not a care in the world rested on his shoulders. And I knew, I simply knew, that I could not let such an amazing creature be destroyed. And, suddenly, I was able to breathe again. The rock cracked, and there was fear and pain and everything else I had locked away, but I was myself again, and not the doll inhabited by a soul.
The walk to the warehouse and back was strangely short, but it could have merely been because I was so worried about how to ask Master. I knew I had to get him alone, somewhere private, so I could only hope that the others would be asleep when we returned. Wufei, after finally beginning to trust Master, had still been hesitant about coming to bed with all of us, but after his first night of nervousness had felt no guilt about sliding into bed with Master, Quatre, Trowa, and myself, or any combination of those listed. Not that I could blame him. In place as cruel a Collar, even the touch of warm, unassuming skin was a luxury to be enjoyed, and sharing a bed with those closest and more trusted to you was a rare gift.
Dropping Duo off was anti-climactic as well, for it merely consisted of Master signing him back into the Warehouse and handing him over to the guards. He went sedately, I think perhaps a farewell present to Master and myself, though there were sounds of a scuffle and several shouts as Master and I departed. I saw a faint, almost approving grin on Master's lips, but it so quickly vanished that I could have imagined it.
And then, suddenly, we were back in the apartment, and I was standing in the middle of the den, and Master was heading for the bedroom. I saw my last chance slip away and the breath caught in my throat, for once Master reached the bedroom I would not be able to talk to him away from the other slaves, and I worried that the others would side with Master and try to persuade me not to bring Duo back. I couldn't allow that. I couldn't lose him!
"Master!" I puffed, somewhere between a whisper and a scream.
"Hmm?" he asked, turning to face me with surprised, confused look on his face. "What is it, Heero?"
"I... I need to speak with you."
"Oh. Alright then. Let's go to the den, hm?" he asked, leading me to the long couch. He sat down, but I could not. There was too much nervous energy inside me for sitting.
"Master... I... I need..." I tried, but everything was getting heavy again, and I could barely breathe.
"Heero? Calm down, love!" he whispered harshly, pulling me into his lap. His hands were gentle, running up and down my back, until I could breathe again. I was never afraid with Master.
"Now, if you can ask without panicking, why don't you ask your question?" Master cooed gently in my ear. I nodded, still leaning heavily against his chest.
"I... I need a favor, Master."
"I assumed as much, Heero. I was pretty sure you needed something when you called me out here. What is it? You know I can deny you nothing."
"I want you... I want you to buy Shinigami."
Master stilled behind me, and I held my breath, not daring to look at him. Finally, he sighed and forced me to look at him.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked seriously. "You'd still be responsible for him, along with practicing for Collar. You wouldn't be able to slack off, and you'd have to make sure he behaves himself and practices too. Are you sure you want this responsibility?"
"I do," I told him, and he gave me a sad smile.
"Well, I can't really say I'm surprised. I had an inking that you'd ask me this. I'd hoped you wouldn't, but was pretty sure you would. I suppose this is my punishment for meddling, hm? After all, I was trying to find you a friend when I picked Duo up, and now that I'd rather be rid of him, you'd rather have him."
"I assure you, Master, this is not in any way your fault."
"Oh, of course it is, I picked him up, after all. But it doesn't matter. In the morning, we'll go to the auction and buy him outright. Still..." he said, hesitating and giving me a playful, hopeful smile. "Are you sure you don't want a different friend? There are hundreds to choose from! A red head or a blonde..."
"No," I replied gently, smiling only because I knew Master was teasing, "I want this one. He's special."
"Ah. Well, then, let's get to bed. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow. With adopting a demon into the family and all."