Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I've never actually attended a Hollywood performing arts academy. Astonishing, I know, what with my meticulous attention to detail and rigorous geographical accuracy. Anyway I have absolutely no idea how Tori and Jade's situation would go down in reality, so forgive me if it sounds far-fetched.

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'Private' meant the janitor's closet.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jade said, slamming the door behind them.

"Solving our problem."

"What?"

"Look," Tori said, "he just a made a whole speech about tolerance and understanding, and everyone thought it was great. They thought we were great. And you were going to just stand up in the middle of it and say, 'thanks a lot, Mr. Jennings, but we're not a couple?"

"Yes."

"And how's that going to look? People will think we're ashamed of it."

"I am!"

"You'd be ashamed to be gay?"

"No, I'm ashamed of you."

"Well, that's not very nice."

"I'm not a very nice person. I'm surprised you want to date me."

"Oh, come on. Don't you get it? Most people were on our side. So now no one's going to want to be the odd one out and look like a bigot when they know that public opinion's against them. The whole thing'll die down in a couple of days."

"And then what?"

"And then we just quietly let it drop. It's high school, Jade. No one expects couples to stay together."

Jade's brow furrowed as she followed Tori's logic, looking for the flaw. She folded her arms, and tapped her foot.

"A few days?" she said, eventually.

"A few days. That's all. Trust me."

"Okay." She made to leave. "But just so you know," she said, "I'm only doing this to piss Beck off."

"I hear you, girlfriend."

"Don't push it. A couple of days, no more. And on the condition that we don't make a big deal out of it, or draw attention to ourselves. Keep it low-key."

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But low-key wasn't going to do it. Tori had been right, it wasn't so much what they were, it was who they were. It was like walking into church one day to find that Lucifer and the Almighty had patched things up and were making out on the altar, it was all kinds of wrong, and people were fascinated.

"Here we go again," Jade muttered, as they walked out towards the Asphalt Cafe.

"Just relax," Tori said.

"That's easy for you to say."

"Oh, come on, you're the actress. Act."

"Okay. But I am not holding your hand."

"I didn't ask you to-"

"Okay, fine." Jade grabbed Tori by the hand. "But just this once."

"But I-"

"Come on."

Jade felt a little calmer with Tor's hand in hers. In truth, she didn't like to be touched, which had always made sex a little awkward, but somehow Tori was the exception to the rule. The feel of her skin felt soothing, calming, like a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. They walked stiffly to their usual table, ignoring the glances and whispers.

"This is stupid," Jade grumbled. "The whole damned school's talking about us."

"No they're not," Tori said, airily. "People have hardly noticed."

"Yeah, right. If I hear one more-"

"Hi."

They turned to see a blonde-haired girl that Tori vaguely recognized as a freshman from one of her dance classes. "Oh, hi," she said.

The girl seemed a little nervous. "I just wanted to say that... I think it's really great, what you're doing."

Tori turned to Jade, who shrugged, mystified. She looked back at the girl.

"Us?"

"You know, just being yourselves. Being totally open about it. I think it's really cool."

Tori's heart sank as she heard a low growl from behind her. "Er..."

"And I want you to know that if it hadn't been for you guys, I'd never have been brave enough to tell everyone about..." The girl moved to one side, and Tori craned her neck to see a young girl a few feet away with short dark hair and glasses. She smiled and gave them a shy wave. Tori waved back. She looked at the blonde girl, questioningly.

"Theresa," she said. "We've been together a couple of months but we didn't really feel like we could say anything. Then you guys came out, and everyone was like, wow, that's cool, so we thought, why not?"

"That's... nice." Tori could feel Jade's thermal glare on the back of her head.

"So, anyway, I just wanted to thank you for standing up for us all and not taking any crap with the bullying and stuff. You guys rock. You're like role-models." She turned to go. "Keep up the good work," she said with a wink, and wandered away, hand in hand with her companion.

Tori watched her go for a while, mainly because she didn't dare turn round. "Well, how about that," she said, weakly. "We're role models."

"I am going to kill, you, Tori Vega. I am going to kill you, slowly, and painfully."

Tori closed her eyes. This was going to take a while.

"I am going to rip you limb from limb, grind you up into very tiny pieces, and feed you to the fish."

"Jade..."

"Then I'm going to feed the fish to the cat," Jade went on, warming to her theme, "kill the cat, bury it in quicklime, and sing comic songs on its grave. And when I've finished doing that, when every molecule of you has been thoroughly stomped into dust and mocked until my lungs are sore, I'm going to devote the rest of my life to science."

"Science?"

"Yes, science," Jade snapped. "So that one day, Tori, one day, after years of research, and countless gory but enjoyable experiments on cute fluffy animals, I can build a great big fricking laboratory, dunk your remains in a tank, and send fifty thousand volts through your rotten, stinking carcass to bring it back to life so I can kill you all over again, even more slowly, and even more painfully."

"Oh, hush," Tori said, flapping a hand dismissively. "You hate science."

"I could learn to love it," Jade muttered, "given the right motivation."

"Anyway, you can't bring me back to life if you've ground me into fish food. That's not going to work."

"I can try. God loves a trier."

"I think he'd make an exception in your case. So," Tori said, brightly, "what do you want to do tonight?"

"Not. Actually. Dating."

"I know, I just thought you might be bored, that's all."

"And hanging out with you helps with that, how, exactly?"

"No need to be snippy."

Jade fingered her scissors. "Don't tempt me."

"Ok, fine. Forget it."

They sat in silence for a moment."

"I'll pick you up at eight."

"Really?"

"Dress nice."

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"Only us, Tori. Only you and me," Jade said. They were driving through the night, destination unknown, at least to Tori. "In the whole history of mankind, only we have to sneak away so we can not be together."

"Don't be such a grouch," Tori said. She nudged Jade's knee, playfully. "If you play your cards right, maybe I'll let you not get lucky later."

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"I thought so. Anyway, I thought you'd like all this."

"What?"

"You know, the whole subterfuge thing. Fooling people. Acting. Lying."

"Yeah, I might like it," Jade said. "if I was actually getting something out of it, but there's nothing in for me, is there? I'm going along with it for your benefit."

"For my benefit?"

"Yeah. You seem way too keen on the whole idea. I'm beginning to wonder why."

The temperature in the car lowered a few degrees.

"Take me home."

"What?"

"Take me home."

"Why?"

"Because I know what you're implying," Tori said, "and if you really think I'm getting some kind of cheap thrill out of pretending we're together, then you're wrong. Take me home."

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not taking you home."

"You can't not take me home! Turn around."

"No."

"I'll jump!"

"Go ahead."

"I... we're going kind of fast."

"Yeah, we are."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to be late."

"Late for what?"

"We're here."

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They pulled into a parking lot. There were a few other cars there, a few other very expensive cars, Tori noticed. Jade stopped the car and got out, Tori following. She looked up at the dimly-lit building.

"What is this place?"

"Eduardo's," jade said. "Come on."

"This is…? Wait! Jade!"

"What is it?"

"I can't go in here!"

"Why not?"

"I only brought, like, twenty bucks," Tori protested. "And even if I'd brought my whole allowance, I can't afford this place. Heck, even if I'd sold a kidney it'd only get me an entrée."

"You don't have to pay for anything."

"You're paying?"

"No."

"Oh, God, please tell me we're not going to eat and run."

"Relax," Jade said. "My dad's a friend of the owner, did some work for him a couple of years ago. He always said that if I ever wanted a table on a quiet night he'd fix me up."

"So it's... free?" Tori said, warily.

"What, so now you're disappointed?" Jade said. "You know, we can always forget it and go find a burger joint if you really want to splurge your twenty bucks."

"No! No," Tori said quickly. "I'm good. Free's good."

"Then let's go."

"I wish I'd worn something better."

"You look fine."

"But-"

"Come on."

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"Ah, Jade!" The owner greeted her with an avuncular smile and a roving eye. "How you've grown."

Jade pulled her coat a little closer over her chest. "Thanks."

"And I see you've brought a little friend."

"Have I?"

"Ahem."

"Oh, yeah. This is Tori. A friend from schoo... college."

"You're at college now? My, how the time flies. So let me guess, you must be around... twenty-one?"

"That's it," Jade said. "That's it exactly."

"Uh huh. So shall I send over the wine menu?"

"That would be great, thanks."

"I'll bet it would," said Eduardo, who wasn't born yesterday. "Sadly, Jade, your Uncle Eduardo is not quite so green as he looks."

"Rats."

He laughed. "Your father would never forgive me. How is he, by the way?"

Jade shrugged. "Cold and judgmental."

"But a genius with money. Well give him my regards," Eduardo said, waving them towards a table. "I'll have Dominic make you up the special."

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The place had a sparse, minimalist look, all clean lines and razor-sharp edges, the stark austerity of modern wealth. The 'special', when it arrived, resembled a small modern art installation, and Tori was reluctant to touch it in case it collapsed and she had to pay for any damage. "This is nice," she said for the fifth time.

"Yeah." Jade was similarly cagey about her food. She prodded it with cedar-wood fork, and it made a little tinkling sound, like silver bells.

"Is the food usually this... interesting?"

"I don't know. I've never been here before."

"What?" Tori was surprised. "Why not? If I had a free table I'd be here every week."

"It's not a lifetime, all-you-can-eat buffet, Tori. It's just an occasional favor."

"So why haven't you been before?"

"I've never really had anyone to go with."

"What about Beck?"

Jade hesitated. "He wouldn't have appreciated it. Guys don't like this kind of place."

Tori looked around. "There are plenty of guys here."

"Yeah, but they're not here for fun. They'd all rather be home eating pizza in their underwear. This is the kind of place guys bring girls to show off, to try and impress them."

"So are you trying to impress me?"

"Are you calling me a guy?"

"Well no, but-"

"No, I'm not trying to impress you. If I was trying to impress you, I'd hardly have told you it was free, would I? I'd have lied and told you it was costing me a couple of hundred bucks."

"Maybe you were trying to impress me with your honesty."

"Yeah, right," Jade scoffed. "Who's impressed by honesty?"

"You are."

"What?"

"You said one of the things you admired about me was my honesty."

"When?"

"When we were... talking about the letter."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, that was before I knew what a devious little monster you were."

"What do you mean?"

"Why, just go with it," Jade mimicked, in a sing-song voice. "Let's jes' pretend that lil' ol' me and lil' ol' you are dating, honeypie."

"I don't talk like that."

"You do in my head."

"Then your head's wrong."

"My head is never wrong."

"So why me?"

"Hmm?"

"If this is your first time here. Why me?"

"Maybe I thought you would appreciate it."

"I do. I think it's amazing."

"So what's the problem?"

"There isn't a problem. I'm just curious as to why I'm the only person you've ever invited."

"I didn't say you were the only person I'd ever bring. I just said you were the first."

"Oh."

"You see?" Jade said. "Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth'? You ask too many questions, and now you feel bad."

"You could have just lied."

"I thought you admired honesty?"

"No, that was you," Tori said. "I want to be lied to, so I feel special."

"Okay, you want to know why we're here? Fine. One, we had to go somewhere I knew for a fact no one we know would see us, two, I thought if I fed you it might keep your mouth occupied so you wouldn't talk so much, and three, I've been giving you kind of a hard time over the whole 'dating' thing, when it wasn't really your fault, so this is my way of apologizing to try to make it up to you."

Jade looked up to find Tori staring at her, a forkful of food halfway to her mouth. "Okay, maybe I should have led with that one," she conceded. "But my point still stands."

"This is an apology?"

Jade shrugged. "Yeah."

"But… you must have arranged this before you told me what time you were picking me up."

"So?"

"Let me get this straight, you gave me all that grief at school today, all the time knowing that you were planning on apologizing later?"

"Yeah, well," Jade said, uncomfortably, "I thought I might as well get my money's worth out of it."

Tori started to laugh, and clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle it.

"What?" Jade said, sharply. "What's funny?"

Tori just shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

"Vega..."

"Nothing. It's just..." Tori gave up. "Forget it," she said. She cleared her throat. "I graciously accept your apology."

"Right," Jade said, grumpily. "Good."

"Although now I know it's an apology, it would mean more if you were actually paying for it."

"Do you want to be wearing that..." Jade jabbed her fork towards the object on Tori's plate, "whatever that is?"

"I'm just joking," Tori said, with a grin. "This is the best date I ever been on."

"This is not a date."

"A date-like occurrence. A fake date. An almost-date. A not date."

That's better."

"And I've got to say you've got a lot higher standard of 'not dating' than Beck has."

"What do you mean?"

"He took me to a crappy seafood truck, where people got sick. This is much nicer."

"High praise indeed. I'll be sure to mention to Eduardo that his incredibly expensive restaurant just edges it over some rancid All-You-Can-Puke Clam-mobile. It'll make his day."

"No need to be touchy. I'm just saying."

"Anyway, it's not a competition between me and Beck to see who can take you on a better date."

"I know."

There was a pause.

"Although if it was," Jade said, "I'd totally win, right?"

Tori rolled her eyes. "Yes, you would."

"Good," Jade said, satisfied.

"Although some of it was kind of fun," Tori said casually, looking down and poking at her food. "Especially the beer bong and strip poker back at his place."

She looked up into a furious glare. "Kidding," she said.

"You'd better be. I've never actually killed anyone with a breadstick before."

"I don't know why you're so jealous, anyway. You know I don't like Beck that way."

"You must be the only one who doesn't."

There was a lull in the conversation as they tackled their food.

"Listen," Tori said, after a while, "about New Year's Eve…"

Jade groaned. "I thought we'd settled all that?"

"We have. But I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the fact that you called to see if I was okay. After I got home. That was really considerate, and I never thanked you."

"What else could I do?" Jade said. "I followed your footprints, but they just kind of disappeared, and I didn't know if-"

"Wait, you went out to look for me?" Tori said.

Jade shrugged. "Yeah."

"In the snow? When you were sick?"

"Well, I..."

"Oh, Jade."

"Don't," Jade said. "Don't do that face. And that voice. That whole soppy 'concerned' look," Jade said, uncomfortably. "I only went out because if you were dead in the street somewhere the police would find you, and then they'd start nosing around and asking all kinds of awkward questions, and that would have been totally inconvenient for me. You know. What with me being sick, and everything." She sniffed, as though to demonstrate.

"Uh huh." Tori held her gaze for a moment, and then returned to her food.

"Fine," Jade said, when there no other response. "Maybe - maybe - I was slightly worried, all right? But that doesn't mean-"

"That you care about me?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that, but I wouldn't really want you to die, or anything."

"So, you do care about me?"

"What is this, Twenty Questions?"

"No, this is one question."

"Jesus. Okay, fine. I care about you. Only a little bit, but I care."

Tori smiled to herself, and the weight of narrative expectancy hung heavy in the air.

"You could say you care about me," Jade said, a touch impatiently.

"I do care about you."

Tori said it so easily, so honestly, that Jade was derailed for a moment. "I.. Oh. Good." They looked at each other for a moment, and then carried on eating in silence.

"… A little bit."

Jade looked up to see a sly smile on Tori's face, and raised her eyebrows. "A little bit?" she echoed. "That's all I get? I bring you all the way out here to the swankiest place in town, and all I get is 'a little bit'?"

"Hey, that's all you gave me. Anyway, we're not even paying."

"I'm not paying, you mean. I could always tell good old Uncle Eddie that my 'little friend' wants to pick up her own tab."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

"Then I'll tell him you abducted me and brought me here by force."

"Yeah. Because that happens a lot in fancy restaurants."

Tori pouted.

"Okay," Jade said, "I'm willing to revise my offer to... 'somewhat'."

"'Somewhat'?"

"Yeah. As in, more than 'a little bit'."

"Pffft. No one says 'somewhat'," Tori said. "And anyway, I'm not even sure that is more than 'a little bit'. I think it sounds the same."

"No it doesn't."

"Does to me."

"How about, 'moderately'?"

"No."

"'To a certain extent'?"

"Too wordy. And it still just sounds like 'a little bit'."

"Okay, fine." Jade sighed. "So what's your counter-offer?"

Tori thought. "'A lot'."

"No chance. That's way too much."

"No it isn't."

"What about 'quite a lot'?"

Tori considered. "It depends how you say it," she said. "If you mean it in kind of an ironic, understatement sort of way, I guess-"

"Jeez," Jade said. "That's it. You're making this way too complicated."

"Me?"

"How about, 'I care about you', period. That's it. No qualifier."

Tori considered this. "No qualifier?"

"No."

"No ifs and buts? No conditions?"

"None. Just the facts, ma'am."

Tori paused. "Okay," she said, and smiled. "I guess I can live with that."

"Great."

"So say it."

"No."

"Go on."

Jade sighed. "All right. I care about you."

"I care about you, too."

"Okay. Good. Now, can we just get on with our food before it goes cold. Or hot. Or whatever it is that's supposed to happen with it. This stuff should really come with an instruction manual."

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They pulled up outside Tori's house, and Jade, without really meaning to, found herself getting out and opening the car door for Tori, who accepted the favor with a smile.

They stood outside the front door. "Thanks," Tori said. "I had a great time."

Jade shrugged. "No problem."

"No, I mean it," Tori said. "That was probably the nicest place I've ever been." She frowned. "Probably the nicest place I'll ever go," she said, ruefully. "The rest of my dating life is going to be kind of a let-down from now on."

"Yeah, let's not get carried away," Jade said, quick to close down any discussion of Tori's romantic future. "It was only a restaurant."

"I know but... it wasn't just the place. It was you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. It was kind of fun that it was just you and me, like it was our little secret."

Jade raised an eyebrow. "You don't think we have enough 'little secrets' right now?"

"You know what I mean. And I really appreciate that you chose me to share it with. At least I was the first, even if I won't be the last."

There was something about the sad little sigh that accompanied this that tugged at Jade's conscience.

"Okay."

"What?"

"It makes you feel any better, I won't take anyone else."

Tori blinked in surprise.

"I mean, it's not as if I've got much choice, anyway," Jade went on, quickly. "I split up with Beck, it would be weird if I asked Andre, and I couldn't stand listening to Cat jabber on for a couple of hours, plus her table manners are kind of disgusting, so who the heck else am I going to take? If I've got to go, it might as well be with you. At least you eat with your mouth shut."

"But-"

"So if that's what you want, if that makes you happy, it can be just us. You and me, once in a while. It can be our..." She pulled a face. "…thing."

"I don't know what to say."

"You could say, 'Why, thank you, Sugarpop, you're just the bestest friend a girl could ever have. I'm not worthy to have such an amazing friend, please allow me to do your science homework from now until we graduate'. Something like that."

"Well I could, but one, I don't talk like that, and two, I'm not sure I should be helping you with your science, considering you're only going to use it to turn me into a zombie and then murder me again."

"Spoilsport."

"But thank you," Tori said, with a genuine smile. She reached out and took Jade's hands. "You are an amazing friend."

There was some shuffling of feet, and an awkward silence. Had it been a real date, this would have been the cue for one of them to edge closer, to lean in a little further, to invite the possibility of a kiss, but that, of course was unthinkable. Out of the question.

So out of the question and unthinkable was it, that Jade found herself completely blindsided when Tori flung her arms around her and pressed her lips to her cheek. "Thanks," she said again, with a coy bite of the lip. "See you tomorrow." And with that she disappeared through the door, leaving Jade to stand alone in the darkness, one hand pressed to her face, staring after her. She turned, as though in a trance, and made her way back to the car.

She sat there for a while.

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A month, she decided. They'd give it a month.

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Okay, are we still liking this? The last chapter didn't get many hits, so if I'm going wrong please let me know.

The idea of singing comic songs on a grave is lifted from 'Three Men in a Boat' by J.K. Jerome.