The scarring had yet to fade. My index finger trailed over the only evidence of a surgery that had restored Light to his previous self. Sometimes he would mention aches from the echo of the knife that had been used, but other than that, he never mentioned the incident.

Light breathed deeply beside me in the calmest sleep I had seen him have in a long time. I didn't dare wake him. He had been up very late, studying for his final exams in school. He was trying to finish the Metropolitan Police Academy so that he could join Scotland Yard.

He was so determined. But he had been struggling because of his English. He had gotten better, but it would be hard for anyone to just be thrown into a new situation. And he would never admit it to me, but I'm sure he was homesick. He would only speak Japanese around me and he often tried to recreate meals he said his mother would make at home. He also carried around a photo of his family in his wallet and I would catch him staring at it from time to time.

He didn't need to join the Yard, though. He could just work with me. L was still alive and kicking. L couldn't die. And Light had been playing the part wonderfully from the eyes of Japan, though I did everything else. Light was always so busy.

Light inhaled deeply and shifted. I sat up from where I had been laying against his bare chest so that he could turn over. I rested back down, curling my body up while I stared at my screen saver that bounced around my laptop monitor. My thumb went to my lip as I thought, Light's breathing being the only thing that I could hear in the room

It was odd being alive. I had never put much thought to it until I had come back from death. I couldn't explain it very well though. There wasn't much to explain. It just felt like I had been asleep. I remembered the night of the party. I remembered being in that small alley with Gregory and Miranda; she had made a recovery after several hours of surgery. I remembered the tightness in my chest and the discomfort. And I remembered Light. I remembered seeing him just before everything went black. And then I remembered being in a bed and hearing someone crying. I remembered sitting up and seeing Light in the rain.

There had been no in between. There had been no heaven and no hell, but I had never really been that religious. What was a god to me? But it still struck me as odd. Why did I have nothing? Light had explained that he was going to limbo because he had used the death note, but that there were a heaven and a hell. Then... Where had I gone?

The next few nights after that had been horribly difficult with all of the explaining and the fighting and the promises and the deals. As far as I was aware, Light was following our deal to a "T". I had hidden away the death notes where he would never be able to find them. We had discussed destroying them, but we weren't sure what that would do to Light's memory. And I had quickly learned that Ryuk, the chaotic shinigami, would be of no help to either of us.

After that, Ryuk had left somewhere, though I wasn't sure where. But I was positive that I could see Ryuk hiding in the house every now and then. Around a corner, or trapped in a mirror. Every mirror. A look at my reflection and there would be something there, moving in the background, but only for a split second. That was him. I wondered if maybe someday he would forgive Light. The two of them were wrapped together in unbreakable chains. Light's fate belonged to Ryuk and there was nothing that could ever change that.

As per our deal, he was going to school. And I hadn't caught him trying to find the death notes. And he never mentioned them. But I was waiting. I had a horrible feeling that someday he would. I knew what not having them was doing to him.

He was an addict. And even now, so long after I hid them, he was still suffering from withdrawals. He often had headaches that he said were due to studying, but I knew better. He always had nightmares more often than before we came to England. He was impatient and sometimes angry for no reason, he had anxiety, no motivation... I was honestly surprised that he was still in school. He hated it. I knew he did.

But he promised me. He promised that he would never use the death note again, for anything. And if he did, I had every right to relieve him of his memories and have him locked up for the rest of his days. I had given him this one chance to prove to me.

I didn't like being right. I didn't like that my suspicions had been correct, even though I knew that they would be. And I didn't like that someday when that day did come and I had to do as I promised, I would have to push through my love for him and do what was best for the world.

I jumped from my thoughts at a muffled cry. I sat up and looked over Light, whose face was contorted. I reached out to him and gently shook him. It was depressing that this had become a normal occurrence. It was practically a nightly ritual.

His russet brown eyes opened to stare blankly at the ceiling, his breathing deep and fast. It took a moment for him to return to himself as his eyes slowly filled with light. He rubbed them with the palms of his hands and slowly sat up.

"Another one?" he asked in a broken voice, his head in his hands.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked, reaching out to him. But before I could touch him, he was pushing himself out of bed and stretching.

"No."

It was a simple answer, but it hurt me in a way. He didn't share things with me. It was like trying to pull a tooth when we spoke. It was nearly impossible to get anything from him. He had closed up immediately after our agreement. It was like half of him was missing. But... That's what I had decided. I had forced half of him to be missing because that half was Kira. That half was a murder. But maybe... Maybe that had been the part that was really... The part that I loved.

That was nonsense. I still loved Light Yagami. He.. was just missing that part of him.

I pulled my legs up against me and watched as he busied himself with getting dressed. I glanced at the clock and sighed. "You don't have to go yet," I tried.

I just wanted him with me a little longer. I didn't like being alone in this house. I knew that I couldn't go into town as a precaution, but I had seen the grounds, I had played the piano, I had even dulled my mind with television. Now that I was forced to be inside, I didn't want to be.

"I'm supposed to be there earlier today, remember?" Light gave me a half smile as he buttoned his shirt up, covering the scar that rested there. "He had to move me up so he could fit in a new client."

I nodded. I did remember. I... Just wanted him to stay with me.

"You could always come with me if you wanted."

I stuck my tongue out at the idea and heard him laugh. That was rare. It was a bright and sunny laugh that hardly graced my ears anymore. I could feel my head dip under the weight of his palm as he ruffled my hair.

"I'll be home in two hours." He had finished tying his tie and left the bedroom in swift strides, snatching his coat from the chair besides the mirror on his way out.

"Light!" I called, scrambling to my feet from the bed and racing after him and from our bedroom. "Light!"

He turned back to me and I stumbled into his chest. He gripped me tightly so we both wouldn't lose balance and gave another laugh. This was strange. Was he in a better mood today? But he had just woken from a nightmare. Why was he in such a good mood? It normally took him hours to get back to a semi happy state. Maybe therapy was helping him. He did always seem to be in a better place when he came home.

"Love you," he whispered, giving me a gentle kiss before pulling away and starting back down the hallway. "I'll finish my homework when I get home."

"Light?" I called again. He turned around to face me but slowly continued on backward like a high schooler who shoved things into his backpack when the bell signaling the end of class was about to ring. "I have a case that I could use your help on."

Yet another laugh. My eyebrows furrowed together at the sound. "I highly doubt that," he said with a smile. "But I'll take a look at when I get home. Promise."

I sighed and slid my hands into my jean pockets, signaling that he could leave. His footsteps sounded on the stairs and then the front door opened and closed. I was alone. Again.

Maybe I should go to a session some day to see what it was like. I didn't like the idea of therapy, but Light had insisted on it. He didn't explain fully his reasonings, just that he thought it would help.

I wandered down the stairs and walked into the music room. The piano sat, waiting patiently for someone to play it. Beside the Steinway sat a single chair that Light preoccupied on nights when he couldn't sleep. The piano had become a comfort to him when nightmares kept him up.

I tapped a few notes on the keyboard, but pause slightly at the sight of a face in the shine of the piano. "You don't have to hide. I know you're there," I mumbled, continuing on in the small tune I had been playing.

There was a scratchy laugh behind me, but as I glance up from the keys, the shinigami sat atop the piano, his legs dangling down into the strings.

"That's an instrument, not a chair," I said calmly. The idea of a god of death was still new to me and the fact that I had been in the presence of one when I had died made me uneasy. Especially because they shared the same horrible yellow eyes. They made me nervous. They made me feel small.

Ryuk hopped from the piano where he had been balanced on the top of the open lid.

"You want something," I pushed. "You only appear when Light isn't here. What do you want from me?"

"I have a deal to make with you." Ryuk's voice was harsh in a way the other shinigami's wasn't. Ryuk's was cruel. It sounded like a bag of rocks, grinding against each other, but it somehow fit his humanoid complexion.

"I'm not interested." My fingers continued on, with my left hand shoved into my jeans pocket, drumming tensely against my leg. One of my knees rested on the black leather piano bench. The tune kept me calm. The steady notes made my heart not pound. The movement of my fingers gave me something to focus on so my anxiety didn't overshoot itself.

He laughed again. "I haven't' told you what the terms are yet."

"I am still not interested. It will in no way benefit me or Light. I am sure there are other people you can torment." My mouth was speaking on its own. My anxiety was becoming too much and was taking over all because of those eyes.

Those eyes...

They told me they knew exactly what my nightmares held. They knew what would scare me and what would destroy me. They could see straight through me, even if they were looking right at me.

"Let me take the death notes," Ryuk said simply.

My fingers came to a sharp stop at those words, the notes ringing deadly in the air. "No," I whispered, my voice missing. No one would ever touch those death notes again. Not if I could help it.

"You haven't heard the rest," Ryuk taunted, his smile reaching his eyes.

"I don't want to hear the rest."

I turned away from the Steinway to fully face the shinigami. My chest grew tight at the full view of Ryuk. He was unnatural and that was the best way to explain him. Other worldly. Alien. But he was a god of death. He would be all those things.

"Lawliet," he grinned, tipping his head to the side.

My teeth clenched at the use of my name. That name that had caused so much trouble. That name that had hurt the people that I loved. That name that was chained to me and drug me through hell and back. The name that Light was only allowed to use.

"Interesting," Ryuk teased, pointed teeth in a grin.

"I honestly don't like where this is going."

I walked past Ryuk in my slump and headed for the kitchen. Atop the wooden counter was a bowl of arranged fruit, which Ryuk helped himself to before I could say a word. I reached for the candy dish and grabbed the purple jelly baby. The purple had always been my favorite. I had grown up only eating that color from the package, but now that I was older, I ate the others. Why would I waste something sweet like that?

"If you give me the death notes, I'll-"

"You will never set hands on those again," I interrupted

He was really starting to annoy me. There was no reasoning with him. His smile dropped as did the shine from his eyes. My fingers shook as I lifted another sweet to my lips. His claw like fingers snatched another apple from the bowl on the counter and he turned from me. In a blink, he was gone.

I felt like my chest collapsed in on itself. The air left my lungs and my legs gave out. I stumbled to catch myself on the counter top and my hand went into my messy hair. What was it about him that made me so anxious? Light didn't act like this whenever Ryuk had been around in those first few days.

My mind wouldn't stop asking the same question, even though I knew I didn't' want the answer.

What was the other half of the deal?

Maybe the case would take my mind from it.

West Sussex. A local farmer had noticed his sheep behaving oddly, and on investigation, discovered a body in the middle of the field, in seemingly undisturbed grass. While looking around, police found the top half of an unlit match.

My mind ran over those words again as I looked through stacks of paperwork and through pictures. I rocked back and forth in a steady motion, trying to keep all of the stacks of paper straight.

Finally, I found the picture that I had been looking for. It was a picture of the victim, deeply hidden in the tall grass. Some of the grass had taken on a dark wine red. Lifeless hazel eyes stared back at me from the developed film. Red painted the milky skin of his cheeks. But I didn't care about that at the moment.

I wouldn't be able to examine the body myself, Light would have to do that for me. I had to make do with pictures and police reports. And in this picture, I wanted his hands. I had a perfect view of his left hand. His finger tips were stained yellow from tobacco, but his smoking habits didn't interest me. On the side of his index finger was slight discoloration from bruising. One straight line. Purple and blue. It would fit the shape of a match. He had been holding it when he was killed. Holding it tightly.

I set the picture down and turned back to my computer to type on my list of known facts. I snatched up the loli from my tea, which never tasted like Watari's, and captured it into my mouth.

That was one mystery solved. Onto the next.

According to the medical report , the cause of death had been general physical trauma. The middle aged man had crushed ribs, smashed jaw, and broken legs as well as the skull damage which had most likely finished him.

How had he received those injuries? The body was fresh. The medical findings had put his time of death just a few hours before the body had been found. How had the body ended up there? It wasn't moved, there wasn't an attacker. His injuries were those of a fall from a significant height and an impact in the earth. But in the middle of the field? That would explain why there were no drag marks through the grass.

But another thing that bothered me was that he had no personal effects on him. Not even a watch on his wrist. Where were his things? The clothes he had been wearing were those of a middle class man. He would have had a phone, a wallet, keys, even a pack of cigarettes.

Nothing else had been found other than the match. Not even the whole match. Just the tip. Unburnt. Where was the rest of the match?

I needed Light here. He needed to help me. I needed him to make the phone calls. People would be easier to receive answers from over the phone rather than on email. On the phone, they wouldn't have a chance to rethink their thoughts. It was more likely I would get the truth than lies.

I would call myself, but Light our deal had been that if I needed to reach the outside world, he would do it for me. He had said that he was afraid of me being recognized. Though, I wasn't sure how I would be. I had always been very careful with my identity. But Gregory had ruined a lot of trust that Light had with the world.

That was another reason I had hidden the death notes away. I knew that Gregory had set something off in Light. Something that he tried extremely hard to hide from me. Something that was immensely Kira. Kira would always be there in Light. I knew that. Kira would never go away. I often thought of Kira as a separate person, but Light and Kira were one in the same. It was just a matter of Light controlling himself.

My mind continued on as I wrote up the questions I needed Light to ask police and medical officials when he came home. I needed to know his family connections. Did he have a wife and children? Did he have siblings? What was his line of work? Did it have to do with heights? How else could he have received the injuries? Had there been anything that was left from the police reports? Something that the media doesn't know, possibly?

Maybe it was suicide. If it was, did he leave a note? Was he showing signs of depression? Was it stress from work? Was he having financial trouble?

But how did he get to the field if it was suicide? He would have had to flown. Which meant that he had to have something related to flying. A hot air balloon? A puddle jumper? A helicopter? If it was suicide, then where was the aircraft? It would have crashed somewhere. Near by. Someone would have surely noticed it.

Then maybe it wasn't suicide? Maybe he was pushed?

I scratched my head at the thought. He would have had struggled. There would have been a fight. No one would jump from a height without some sort of safety precaution. I needed more pictures of his body. Were there more bruises other than on his fingers?

I needed Light here. There was too much that I needed done.

What time was it anyways? He should be home soon, shouldn't he?

I glanced to the clock and felt my heart drop. Why did time pass so slowly when he wasn't here? It had only been an hour and a half. He wouldn't be home for at least another 45 minutes. What was I supposed to do until then? My other cases weren't as difficult as this one was. Not that this one was difficult. It just required that I ask for help for something that I could do just fine on my own. But if I broke my side of the promise then I was no better. I just had to hope that Light was doing the same.

Maybe I could just work on another case until then. I could finish those and email them off to the respective people. Shit, I also needed Light to pick up my mail. He usually did after his sessions, but I wanted them now. I wanted more cases! I wanted to be distracted.

I pulled up my email and dug through it until I found something that sounded interesting. A missing person's case. In Paris. Maybe that would preoccupy me got the time being.

I read over the the case several times before trying to put it together. It definitely made me think.

A brother and a sister, American, had gone to Paris to see the Pitchfork Music Festival, a four day event. They had arrived by plane, where the brother was present being seen leaving the airport on the security footage. They had arrived at the hotel and after dinner decided to go to bed because both were tired. Both retired to their separate rooms for the night.

The sister woke up and went down to breakfast, but her brother never showed up. She questioned the staff to see if her brother had already eaten instead of meeting at their agreed upon time.

The staff denied that her brother had ever showed up. She then went to ask the manager at the front desk, but the manager also denied ever seeing her brother. They insisted that she had come alone and even on the guest register only her name appeared on the check in date.

She told them about how her brother had been in room 13, but was informed that no room existed because 13 was an unlucky number. They showed her to the room between 12 and 14, but there was only a janitor's closet.

Upon her brother not answering his phone, she went to the police who investigated, but found no trace of her brother. That's when she had contacted L.

There were three possible conclusions. Either she really did arrive alone was mentally certifiable, she had disposed of her brother before the hotel, or the staff had made up the story.

But why would they?

What would be the point?

I typed my question into the search bar and pulled up several articles of the music festival. But none of them held any information that stuck out to me. So I broadened my search. News in Paris. Was there anything there?

One article piqued my interest and I opened it further. My eyes skimmed the page. This could be it. Strep throat. There had been a rather large outbreak in paris about a week before the festival. Could the brother have gotten sick? If left untreated, one could eventually die due to a high fever.

Maybe it was a bit of a stretch. I had been wrong on rare occasions that were far and few between.

Maybe she was just insane. That would be a large lie to pull off. Hundreds of people would have to be in on it. But her brother was missing. He hadn't been seen since he had gotten off the plane. The airport had been called and had footage of the young man landing and getting in a taxis with his sister. I wasn't privy to the footage though. I would have to have Light call in a few favors.

But if he had gotten off the plan, then he had been there at one point. Maybe I could get video of the front entrance to the hotel. Then I would know if the brother made it from the airport to the hotel. If not then I could find the cab and see if the driver knew anything. Again, Light would have to help me.

But my theory was solid. If her brother had shone up and she wasn't crazy, then he possibly could have gotten sick. I wasn't sure how, but if he got sick, the hotel may have taken him to the hospital. I needed to check those hospitals closest to the hotel. But that still didn't answer what had happened to the record of him and why didn't the staff just tell the sister of her brother's illness?

So many questions that could easily be answered if only I could use the telephone. If only I could have some form of contact with the outside world that didn't involve computers or TV.

I didn't like having to wait on Light. I didn't like having to remind him to make the calls. I didn't like pulling him away from his studies when he had been working so hard. I didn't want to be dependent on Light. I was already so much of a burden to him...

"Stop," I scolded myself aloud; the echoes of my voice filled the silent house oddly.

I couldn't afford to think like that. It would just pull me back into a depression.

No. I had two interesting cases in front of me. One man's "suicide" from an unknown aircraft and a missing brother who could have gotten sick or been disposed of on the way to the hotel.

I decided to read over both cases again to see if I had missed anything, any tiny detail.

But eventually my mind drifted to that shinigami. Ryuk. What had he wanted?

Give me the death notes, rang through my head.