Hello everyone. Hope you had a happy new year and a merry Christmas and that you enjoyed Hyperdimension Neptivity. Fun fact: even people who've only heard of the series enjoyed it when I showed it to them. Pretty amazing that even outsiders of the fanbase could have a laugh at it.

Also, it's come to my attention that I seem to be the only author on this section of the site that gets more than two reviews per chapter for everything he posts. With that in mind, I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage you all to read and review the other fanfics here in the Hyperdimension Neptunia section. Many of them are well written and they also deserve love and praise, moreso than I do, and some of them could also benefit from some honest and constructive criticism. Spread the love, people.

Speaking of which, let me return it:

Eyeshield: It was called "A Phantasmagorical Metamorphose" with the GM being an amazingly detailed friend of mine. She really raises the standards for writing and I'm now trying to keep up. Currently, the GM has also started another RP that I am also joining with much anticipation. Also, I've taken up reading Skulduggery Pleasant as I got the boxset of books for Christmas. The writing style's a bit basic and plain for my tastes but Derek Landy does know how to be entertaining. As for transports, all they have are "sky bridges". No, I'm not kidding. We went over this in Chapter 8: Five Day Skip: To Lastation.

crimsonheresy: Really now? Felt like we just went from one place to another. I guess that's what you get when the plot's progression is dictated by the plot rather than the characters. Anyway, keep it up and we'll see how it turns out.

Saturn56: As usual, wait and see. :p

Eisenfaust: Ah, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. It's very good. Look, if Bleach needs to take lessons from any anime series, it's Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann because that is how you do it. I'm not going to say any more because this is about my fanfic about I should be getting questions, criticisms and feedback about that. Regardless, I do like Gurren Lagann. However, keep in mind that Jacob is meant to be a pragmatic underdog and will not be loudly shouting his attacks or getting beam attacks the size of the moon any time soon.

TheZeroDarkness: I have plenty of criteria but, again, let's not get into that and discuss Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real! instead.

godofmadness43: We've already seen Black Heart. Actually, we've read about her.

Saturn56: Yes it is. Again, wait and see. :p

Guest: Thanks. And that will be interesting irony, won't it?

Hydrocity3: Good to know I'm capable of being funny without even trying. In truth, I didn't even know when Neptune learned Neptune Break but I was informed that people managed to acquire it at the beginning of Lowee so I chose that time. I really introduced it because I'm getting tired of writing about inconsequential monster encounters and, now that I have Neptune Break, I have a shortcut. And I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by what I do with Blanc.

Wdog-999: As usual, wait and see. :p And I imagine a lot of things could go wrong, given something about Jacob that I make apparent in this chapter.

Prinny Overlord: All this and more will be revealed to you later.

Now, let us commence with...

Chapter 20: Hostile Negotiations

Blanc, CPU of Lowee, was currently holed up in her private chambers. As the Chamberlain said, she was not in a good mood. She didn't really have a reason not to be, having been kicked out of her own home by a dragon that came completely out of nowhere and trounced three of the four goddesses of the world. Therefore, Blanc was trying to blow off steam by isolating herself in her chambers and reading her books. For maximum comfort, she enclosed herself with purple curtains and rested on the red carpet. She wasn't dressed very heavily at all, wearing only a short white sundress thickly lined with brown with white plus signs within it, a blue ribbon pendant with a white stripe and a white fabric wrapped around the lower part of her shin and tied with two diamond flaps extruding from it. Her jacket, sleeves, hat and shoes were all off to the side much like a variety of other books around her. There was no point wearing anything heavy if she was just relaxing on her own.

"Lady White Heart, some travellers are requesting an audience," called her Chamberlain, Financier, from outside her room's doors. "What would you have me do?"

Even though she was highly annoyed already, Blanc was not the kind to groan or make any sounds indicating her irritation. At least, not this early. "... I'm busy. Make them leave," she ordered with a quiet voice.

Financier, however, seemed reluctant to follow that order. "We've had fewer and fewer visitors coming due to the monsters. Perhaps we should try to be more welcoming..."

"... You actually believe my ability to protect has weakened due to wavering faith?" Even though Blanc asked that in her normal quiet voice, it was clear she felt insulted.

"A-Absolutely not!" Financier responded, flustered. "How could your protection ever weaken? Regardless, I believe these visitors have urgent business with you."

Blanc didn't believe that for an instant. She didn't know any travellers and, as far as she knew, there was no reason for any adventurers to visit her. "And what would that be?" she asked as she focused back on her book.

"One of them had a message. I believe it was... 'We will take back what the Overlord has taken from you'."

Blanc's dull navy blue eyes lit up in shock.

"My lady, do you know what that means?"

Lowee's CPU took a moment to find her words. "... I do." She used her book's red ribbon bookmark to mark her current page in her book before putting it down. "Give me a moment. I'll be out shortly."

Financier was confused but she didn't ask anything. "... I understand."

The party was guided into the main room of the Basilicom by Financier. The only thing that made it different from the last three Basilicoms they visited was that it was slightly warmer which, after being in the snow, was enough to stop any and all of them from complaining. Jacob, Compa and IF sat in one row of seats and they were talking to Nisa, who was in the row in front of them but she was on her knees looking back at them. Neptune had gotten bored and was walking around.

Financier had returned just as boredom was beginning to set in. "Lady White Heart has agreed to see you."

"Good," responded IF as everyone approached the Chamberlain. "Did you give her the message?"

"I did, actually. She seemed incredibly surprised by it. Do you know her personally?"

"No but we are involved in something that involves her in a way," answered Compa.

"I see... Well, I won't hold you up. If this is important, I better take you to her right away. Please follow me."

So the party did. As it turned out, reaching White Heart's room didn't take very long at all. Financier opened the door and allowed the party to enter the glass dome room of a goddess for the very first time.

"Those are very nice trees you have," noted Compa when she noticed the lush green trees that were right outside the room but still within the center of the very snowy forest.

"Thank you. Our gardeners do their best to maintain them." Financier stepped towards the statue and cleared her throat. "My lady, these are the adventurers here to see you. Their names are Neptune, Compa, IF, Nisa and Jacob." She then turned to the party and she could've looked worried. "Please, please, please... be polite." She then bowed in the direction of the statue and said "Excuse me" before taking her leave.

White Heart stepped out from inside the purple curtains and faced the party. Out of the six people in the room, she looked to be the youngest. Her sandy-brown neck-length hair was partly covered by a white cap with sky blue ruffles and a brown and gold under and centre piece. She also wore two white sleeves which were lined with thick brown fur and had a wide light blue stripe running down the sides, both of which were completely separate from the white brown fur-lined shoulder-less jacket she wore over her white dress, and white sandals.

Her suspicious eyes instantly locked onto a surprised Neptune. "Neptune... I should have known."

"A pleasure to meet you," greeted Jacob, not bothering to offer a handshake as he knew she was a bit sour right now. "I presume you're Blanc."

Blanc's eyes turned to Jacob, dropping the suspicion. "So you know about me. I guess Neptune talks about me?"

"No. Noire actually told us," he answered.

The white-clad goddess seemed the slightest bit surprised. "Why would she do that?"

"Well, Neptune has amnesia as a result of Momus knocking her off Celestia and Noire helped clear some things up. By the way, I'm from another world that Neptune fell into and I'm now travelling with her, looking for a Key Fragment from each landmass to rescue Histoire, a MacGuffin girl." Jacob left out the details of Gamindustri actually being a video game. The only reason he told Noire was because she needed to know how he knew about the Console War and her true identity. Blanc needed no such info as it was not relevant to what they were discussing right now. "Do you have any questions?"

Blanc didn't respond right away. Jacob probably should've held back a bit on that exposition dump. "... That sounds ridiculous."

"I know but I swear it's the truth."

"He's right, alright," Neptune vouched for him. "I fell through a roof and a floor and crashed into another floor. It really hurt! Then I met Jacob and then we went to Gamindustri and now we're fighting monsters and looking for Key Fragments."

Jacob continued. "I don't suppose you could help us out with that? Know where we could find a Key Fragment? Our only hint as of right now is that each one is guarded by a Guard Vermin. Do you know where we could find one in Lowee?"

Blanc's eyes reverted back to dull disbelief. "Guard Vermins are extinct, idiot. And, even if they weren't, I've never heard of a Key Fragment."

"But Guard Vermins aren't extinct," Compa answered. "We saw one in Planeptune's tutorial dungeon."

"This isn't Planeptune."

"But there's still a Key Fragment on each landmass," Compa responded.

"I don't suppose Lowee has any subplots that are in need of any resolution?" Nisa queried. "Any evil corporations? Dragons demanding maiden sacrifices?"

"I'm capable of running my landmass. Trouble like that doesn't exist here."

"That's nice," Compa answered. "It doesn't help us but it is good to know that everything's peaceful. Well, if you don't know where to find the Key Fragment or a Guard Vermin, Histoire also apparently said that they were guarded by 'strong monsters'. Do you know where we could find any?"

Blanc's eye twitched. "Your quest is a load of bullcrap. Stop wasting my time."

"Hey, now." Jacob stepped forward, having had his button pressed. "This is really important stuff, you hear? If we're going to drive Momus out of Celestia, we ne-"

"Shut up, already!" Blanc's stoicism had been shattered. "As a goddess, I can crush Momus without dragging stupid outsiders into it! I've never heard of your stupid Key Fragment and, as far as I care, it doesn't exist! Cut this shit out and get the hell out of my Basilicom now!"

Blanc didn't look at the shell-shocked party as she stormed back behind her purple curtains.

"... Well," said IF. "Alright then. Let's go, everyone. It's clear that this goddess doesn't feel like talking to us."

No one objected to that notion so they left. This left Blanc alone again.

"Finally! Damn it, she pisses me off," the short goddess growled as she picked up her book. She sat down and opened up to the pages that her bookmark was wedged between and began reading again.

"To shout in such a way to simple visitors..." said a slightly older female voice that interrupted Blanc's reading. "A goddess such as yourself should have much better manners, Lady White Heart."

Out of all the people that could have talked to her right now, Blanc would have preferred anyone but her. Reluctantly, Blanc re-bookmarked her book and closed it before standing up again. She walked outside her purple curtains and found the only person who would talk to her in such a manner.

"... Conversation," Blanc addressed, suppressing her wrath. "You were here?"

Conversation was very sneaky when she wanted to be. It must have been a very easy talent for her to master, being a silhouette and all. She might have been able to do better if she didn't carry a book in her left hand at all times but, as Blanc never noticed her until she spoke up, it wasn't an issue. She did look somewhat pecular, with hair that was short with the exception of one bang that framed her right cheek, what might have been a suit or a robe or jacket and a hat that would have been wide-brimmed if it weren't for the brim being folded upwards to surround the crown like a wall, but that was all redundant; all silhouettes were essentially the same, regardless of their appearances.

"... Why are you here? Shouldn't you be preaching about me in the other landmasses?" Blanc inquired.

"I perform my teachings to the best of my ability. However, they will be dishonest if you do not conduct yourself as a goddess..."

"For the love of... Did you come all the way back here just to flame me, you old hag?!" Blanc couldn't contain herself in the face of such blatant criticism. "I promoted you from Chamberlain to Evangelist for a reason! Give me some freakin' space already!"

The silhouette sighed. "I understood your intentions perfectly well. However, you leave me no choice but to return to give you advice due to those bursts of petty hysterics that drive away many visitors that simply wish to talk with you pleasantly, much like those travellers that were just here. The people do not simply seek protection, Lady White Heart. They also-"

"I get it..." impatiently groaned Blanc. "Monsters are killing more and more people. I'm trying to take care of it but it's annoying as crap."

Conversation tutted at Blanc's frankness. "Such a brazen attitude will only serve to drive aspiring followers even further away. Honesty is indeed a virtue but you must exercise confidence and good will as well. However, above all else, you must stay in control of yourself."

Blanc rolled her eyes and growled. "Look, you told me to stay quiet and I'm staying quiet, damn it. I'm doing my damn job."

"And yet I find myself returning to remind you to keep your anger in check. I cannot see myself doing this for the other goddesses."

That was it. In a rage, Blanc threw her book at the ground. "Well, that's because I'm not really a goddess, aren't?! I'm way too bratty and childish, not to mention how easily people piss me off!"

Conversation turned her head to her book as she made her way to the door. "I'm leaving now but I will return to re-evaluate you. Please make sure you've improved your attitude by then."

In the main room of the Basilicom, the party was standing around near the entrance. Jacob's face was currently buried into his hands. His nose kept pumping air into his palms as he vented his rage as well as he good. "I am so mad right now..." he stated as he took his hands off his face and put them together, lacing the fingers. "She reminds me of my sister except angrier, less snarky and even less willing to help. I want to drop a bulldozer on both of them."

Neptune looked at him, a bit curious. "Really? 'Cause she reminds me of you."

The rest of the party found that to be a surprising statement. Even Jacob abandoned his anger and looked at Neptune, perplexed. "... She reminds you of me. How? I'm nowhere near that rude or angry."

"No but you are pretty violent," said IF.

"When we first met, you kept wanting me to shut up," reminded Neptune.

"You tried to backhand Neptune when she pat you on the back," added IF.

"You also flicked me on the forehead," Neptune brought to mind the event that took place before they went to Lastation's Basilicom for the first time.

"You were very angry when I noticed your boobies," Compa brought up.

"You also tried to hit Neptune when she gave you a new nickname," Nisa referred.

"And now you said you wanted to drop a bulldozer on both your sister and a goddess," added Compa.

"Alright, alright, alright, that's enough..." Jacob waved his hand to silence them but he took the information in regardless. "Whoa... Now that I think about it, I kind of suck."

"You had your reasons." IF pulled out her phone. "We're not gonna hold it against you. It's pretty normal, here."

"Not where I'm from," Jacob countered. "We're more well-mannered and composed than this."

Compa gasped lightly. "Even on the Internep?"

"... No. Most definitely not. Even Blanc would be terrified of my world's Internet. I'm still terrified of it. Still, that's not an excuse for my behaviour. Sorry, I'll try to be better in future."

Financier caught the party's attention when she approached them. "I'm terribly sorry. She can be... a bit hostile." She pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper and handed it to Neptune. "Anyway, here is a map showing all of our monster infested dungeons."

"Thank you very muchly!" said Neptune as she took the map from the Chamberlain.

"OH, DON'T WORRY! I'LL BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL WHEN YOU COME AROUND NEXT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Blanc's extremely loud shout caused the party to look in the direction it came from. "... What the heck was that?" asked a surprised IF.

Financier sighed. "Someone must have upset Lady White Heart in her critical state. Don't worry, it's not directed at you."

"Duly noted," responded Jacob, "and thanks again."

"Do be careful," cautioned Blanc's assistant. "These are monsters you're dealing with, after all."

"You have nothing to fear, citizen! As Gamindustri's heroines and hero, we will triumph over whatever evils lay in our way!" Nisa proudly claimed.

"I can't say I have your level of confidence but you seem like you know what you're doing," Financier replied plainly before heading down a corridor. "Have a good day."

"Buh-bye," returned Neptune as she unrolled the map.

The party made their way to the door when they were interrupted. "I must say, that was a very peculiar meeting. 'We will take back what the Overlord has taken from you', hm?"

Everyone turned around to see a female silhouette behind them holding a book. "Oh, hello." Jacob walked up to her and extended an open hand. "Who might you be? And I'm offering a handshake."

"Oh, I see," she answered as she took his hand and shook it rather casually before releasing it. "I was about to say that you were a very intimate person. It's good that we cleared that up. As for who I am, I am Conversation, the Evangelist of Lady White Heart."

"Oh, what does an Evangelist do?" Jacob asked. "Terribly sorry. I don't get out often." While that wasn't the reason Jacob didn't know about Evangelists, it was still true.

"I would not blame you even if you did. Lowee has different customs compared to other landmasses and I'd hardly expect anyone outside to know the inner workings of a Basilicom. Anyway, an Evangelist's job is to travel across the landmasses and preach about their goddess in order to win over believers." Conversation sighed. "Regardless, I still find myself returning here to advise my Lady to not explode at passers-by such as yourselves. I am so sorry that you had to endure her tantrum. She can be such a child... Don't tell her I said that, though," she said with the slightest hint of amusement.

Jacob grinned slightly. "We won't, don't worry."

"So is there something you wanted to talk to us about?" IF asked.

"Oh, yes. It seems I have rambled on again. Well, for the sake of keeping watch on White Heart, I listened in on your conversation. I assure you, the intrusion of privacy was necessary." She looked at Neptune. "Do not worry, Lady Purple Heart. I have no personal feelings regarding you and I have no intention of informing anyone else about your true nature. Anyway... would I be correct to assume that you plan on defeating Overlord Momus?"

"Yepperoni!" Neptune cheered. "He threw me off Celestia and now he wants to destroy the world! We're gonna take him down and all around!"

"Such spirit and confidence. It will certainly be a useful weapon in the face of adversity. It will also be your downfall."

"What? Why?" asked Compa.

The Evangelist sighed solemnly. "The Overlord is much too powerful. You've heard it all. His strength is so great that not even three of the goddesses could hope to match him. A fourth would only delay the inevitable."

"Well, we haven't really level grinded much," answered Neptune. "We just need to beat up enough monsters so that we can kill him in one turn."

"And therein lies your second problem... the Overlord's messenger. The monsters serve as the Overlord's vassals. The messenger will pass judgement onto you if you defeat them."

"You mean Arfoire, right? Don't worry. We've beaten her once before and we were one member short when we fought," IF responded.

"If she put up a fight before, we will undeniably crush her now!" Nisa boasted.

Conversation did not respond right away. "... I have seen the messenger's punishment with my own eyes. Forgive me for saying this but you cannot hope to win."

"Well, we have to try," Jacob answered. "The world's not going to save itself."

Wearily, the female silhouette just walked to the door. "Then your quest will end in your deaths," she added as she exited the Basilicom.

"Bad guy," IF commented.

"Yep," Jacob agreed.

As they had no other purpose there, the party left the Basilicom.

"Th-That old woman's going to pay f-for taking the tran-transport before we could!" Neptune stammered as the party walked down the familiar street of Lowee to get to the motel.

"Nep-Nep, we must be patient. There was only one car and we're not the only people in the world that go to and from the Basilicom," Compa said calmly.

"E-Easy for you to say! You have the hot p-pack!" Nisa complained.

IF didn't turn her eyes away from her phone even once.

Jacob was happy to have an opportunity to get out of the cold. "Ah, home sweet home-"

"- will have to wait," finished Nisa as she grabbed his ear.

"OW! What?!"

His sensei released his sensitive organ. "Well, we're very cold and we really don't have much else to do for the rest of the day, seeing as we agreed to tackle the dungeon tomorrow. With that in mind, why don't we get more of your training done?"

Jacob didn't complain at that. "... Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Don't worry, my student! The training, in addition to your heat-absorbing black clothes, will keep your fires of justice burning brightly and ward off the cold!"

"Well," started IF, still typing on her phone, "seeing as we have nothing better to do, Compa, Neptune, you two feel like watching?"

"Well... sure, why not? It couldn't hurt to watch," answered Compa.

"S-Say that again without th-the hot pack!" Neptune retorted.

It didn't take long to find a suitable area to practice in but, to the party, it felt like it took forever to find a place in this frigid weather. It was a wide, plain field, isolated by a plethora of trees on one side and a wooden fence perhaps twenty feet in length on the other. The fence actually rested on the property of whoever owned the cucumber house on the other side of it. Neptune, IF and Compa sat down on a fallen tree and watched as Jacob and Nisa got into the middle of the field. Jacob had taken off his jacket and left it on the tree, believing this training session would keep him warm.

Nisa started speaking. "Well, my student, I believe we've trained your body sufficiently for now. Therefore, let us commence with training you in the art of hand-to-hand combat. Get into a stance you feel comfortable with."

Jacob sighed slightly before complying. His left foot was put in front while the other foot was turned forty-five degrees to the side. Both of his hands were clenched into fists, his left arm was held straight above his left leg with the back of it facing diagonally upwards while his other arm pointed to the ground until his elbow bent his forearm parallel to it with the underside of his forearm pointed upward.

Nisa seemed to not have expected this. "I didn't realise you had prior experience."

"Had karate lessons a few years back. I didn't get very far before I got bored and just stopped going. I faintly remember this stance, though," explained Jacob. "It's hard to stay in one place for a while as your back itches and you're not allowed to scratch it. I don't have that problem in cold weather, though."

"You stop feeling itchy in the cold as well?"

"Yes, Sensei."

"Heh. I'm not the only one. Anyway, this is mostly informal training so feel free to scratch when you need to unless I say otherwise."

"Thank you, Sensei."

"Now, let's start with basic punches."

Compa was the only one who was actually watching the lesson unfold even if she was getting as bored of it as she imagined IF and Neptune were. IF was still typing on her phone and Neptune was... Actually, Neptune was in a rather peculiar state that Compa shifted her focus to from Jacob practising his jabs. Neptune was indeed looking at Jacob but she didn't seem to be paying attention to the training at all. Something else was going on in her mind and Jacob seemed to be a part of it. Her expression was blank, revealing nothing of the thought process she was going through. The only possible clue of her thoughts was a very faint blush on her cheeks.

"Nep-Nep?"

Neptune was roused out of her daydreaming. "Oh, hey Compa. Are they done already?"

"No. I just wanted to know what you're thinking about."

Neptune quickly turned embarrassed. "Ah, it's... Well..." Neptune glanced at IF. Sure enough, she was still focusing on her phone. She looked at Jacob and Nisa. Jacob was practising some punches on Nisa, who blocked every one of them and told him how they were. She then looked back at Compa. "Hey, uh... Wanna go behind the trees? I want some privacy."

"Huh? O-Okay." Compa stood up with Neptune and went behind the trees, unnoticed by the others. The only exception was IF, who was glancing at them when they weren't looking.

Neptune dragged her nurse apprentice a bit far into the snowy forest. It was only until they couldn't see the others anymore when Neptune decided to stop. "Whew... Okay, here seems dandy... So!" Neptune quickly turned her gaze to Compa. "Whaddya wanna talk about?"

Compa did not share the CPU's enthusiasm. "Nep-Nep, you've been drifting off to la-la land ever since we talked with Lady Black Heart. I'm getting a bit worried. Can you please tell me what's going on?"

Once again, Neptune's blush returned, even brighter than before. "Ah-Well... Well..." Finally, Neptune sighed. "Okay... I can tell you because you're my bestest buddy who can keep all my secrets. The truth is... The truth is... Gah!" Neptune turned around and quickly hugged the nearest tree and pressed her face against it. "It's so embarrassing!"

"Nep-Nep, you can trust me!" Compa urged. "You'll always be Nep-Nep to me!"

After a moment, Neptune removed herself from the product of nature and faced Compa again. "Absolutely true! Now... the thing is..." Again, she struggled to admit her feelings even while she tried to force them out. Finally, she slapped her hands on Compa's shoulders and looked her right in the eyes. "Compa! Who do I choose: Noirey or Sparky?"

Compa was not expecting that. She said absolutely nothing, only keeping her bewildered gaze locked with Neptune's determined one. "B-Bwuh?" she said at last.

Finally, Neptune succumbed to her embarrassment and let go. "Ah, I said it I said it I said it! I got it outta the way like a wooden crate that I jumped on!" she ranted as she moved around.

Compa finally remembered what she just heard and responded. "Wh-Wh-What do you mean, choose?"

Neptune looked back at her. "Don't you see, Compa? I am in a love triangle!"

"Wh-What makes you think that?"

"Compa, you can't be tellin' me you can't see the signs! Let's start with Spark Boobs. I crash into his home world and he leaves home sweet home just to help a mysterious girl like moi get her memory back. Clearly, he's smitten with me but he won't say it because he's tall, dark and mysterious! Plus, he's the only guy on our team so tropes pretty much dictate we end up together. And, for extra coolness points, he's from another dimension. Compa, I have snagged myself an alien boyfriend!"

To Compa, "tall", "dark" and "mysterious" were not really descriptive of Jake. Well, actually, "tall" described him very well. Quickly going through what she remembered of everyone she knew, Jake was the tallest person she'd ever met. Then again, the height of a silhouette wasn't that easy to assess and the number of non-silhouettes she had met was probably a single digit. "Dark" and "mysterious", on the other hand, were still not exactly descriptive of Jake. Even though he was a bit ill-mannered and cheeky, he was rather talkative, easy to get along with and he mixed in well with the party.

"But then there's Noirey. Yeah, I know she tried to kill us and all but she didn't want to. She's a Tsundere and that's sort of what they do. One by one, I'm gonna break her out of her stubborn lil' shell and get her to say she loves me. Also, have you seen her bod? She's so smokin' that I could use her as a barbecue stand!" And then Neptune seemed to start talking to herself. "But Spark Boobs has spark boobs and that increases his funness by a quazillion. But Noirey definitely likes me and I just gotta get her to seal the deal... Ahh!" She turned back to Compa and looked at her pleadingly. "Compa, help me! Who do I choooose?"

Unfortunately for Neptune, Compa was well beyond saying anything rational at this point. "Eh... Buh... I..." she blubbered.

Neptune groaned. "Aw, you're not gonna cry again!"

"What's going on?" asked IF as she came around a tree.

"Iffy!" Neptune shouted, alarmed, and jumped back from Compa. "What are you doing here? Weren't you busy tinkering with your phone?"

"I was just sending a message to Chian about Armas. So what's this about choosing Jacob or Noire?"

"Ah! How did you know?!"

"I heard you. Now, you say you're in a love triangle?"

Neptune was flaring up. "Iffy, I can't tell you! I don't trust you with my deepest, darkest secrets!"

"I don't want to know them in the first place. Also, if you ask me, I honestly thought Jacob would have a thing for Compa."

IF's incredibly nonchalant opinion brought in yet another wave of surprised silence.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Whaaaaaa?" Compa stammered while sporting a growing blush.

"What in the Underverse makes you think that?!" Neptune asked, equally shocked.

If one looked at the corner of IF's mouth, one would be able to see it turn upwards. "Well, I just remember how comforting Compa was to Jacob when we took him to get treated after our first fight with Arfoire. Then she was the one who treated him after fighting Noire and she got to see his 'spark boobs' before anyone else could." Her smirk only grew. "To think, it was going to be their little secret had Chian not spoiled it."

Compa's face was so red, it looked like you could cook eggs on it.

"Nononononononono!" Neptune was defiant. "That can't be right!"

"Th-That's not..." meekly began Compa.

Nisa then entered the scene. "My friends, what are you all doing here?"

"Hey Nisa," casually greeted IF. "We're just talking about Jacob's love interest."

Nisa grew even more curious. "Jacob's what?"

"Neptune thinks she's in some sort of love triangle with Jacob and Noire-"

"Shh!" went Neptune in an unsuccessful attempt to keep IF quiet.

"- while I personally think Jacob and Compa may have a future together."

"That... isn't..." Compa couldn't form proper sentences under such embarrassment.

Nisa raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is that so? Honestly, I thought you would be the one to win Jacob's heart."

Neptune and Compa both snapped their gazes towards IF, whose confidence was replaced by shock.

"Wh-What? No! What makes you think that? He's not even my type!"

"Really? The two of you are rather intelligent, you love to make snide remarks and you get along quite well."

IF composed herself. "Well... I can see the logic but I don't even want a boyfriend. Anyway, I'd prefer to just stay on the level of him pointing out lame video game references and me telling him to shut up."

"Or kick him under a table," Nisa added with a smile.

"That too," IF answered with an amused smirk.

"N-Nisa! Where's J-Jake?" Compa asked as her blush began to recede.

"Oh, right! Compa, I might require your help. You see, I was teaching Jacob a way to punch but I believe the power of my justice might have been a bit overwhelming for him and I may have knocked him unconscious."

What remained of Compa's blush instantly vanished. "What? Then he needs help! Take me back to him!"

With Nisa taking the lead, the girls returned to where the heroine was training her student.

Back in Jacob's world, Jacob's parents had just arrived home. They were somewhat moody and they didn't say a word to each other as they exited their car and went inside the house.

"Hi Mum, hi Dad!" called Hannah as she quickly walked through the house to get to her parents.

"Hey Hannah!" they called back.

"You have no idea what happened today," she said right before she came into the laundry where they came in.

This piqued Sharon's curiosity. "Well, this should be interesting. What is it?"

Hannah held up to her mother some of the broken pieces of the phone.

"... Where'd you find this?" John asked.

"It fell onto our roof and bounced onto the garage. I have no idea where it came from. This isn't even all of it. Some of it's still on the roof."

"Alright, I'll call the police and ask them about it," said John as he went into the kitchen. Hannah and Sharon followed and Hannah poured the phone pieces onto the kitchen bench.

"So..." Sharon started, "what do you know about the phone?"

Hannah looked back at the small pile of scrap. "Nothing, really. I've never seen anything like it before, though. All I know is that it came from the sky."

"Hi, this is John," John said into the phone. "I'd like to..."

"The sky, huh...?" Sharon repeated.

Hannah sighed, the slightest bit depressed. "Yeah."

John continued talking.

Hannah broke the silence between the two girls. "You don't think..."

"I don't know," Sharon responded. "We'll have to wait and see."

A few more moments passed before John put the phone down again. "They said that they're going to send someone around to collect the phone and ask us about it."

Sharon didn't respond. He wasn't expecting her to. For everyone in the household, their worries were united. More than anything, they just wanted Jacob to be alright. They couldn't help but worry for his safety.

"Let's get something straight," began Jacob in the motel room at night, "I am not sharing a bed with any one of you."

"You're just saying that because of cooties," returned Neptune.

"No, I'm saying that because I feel very uncomfortable with sleeping with a girl. Especially if they're in their underwear instead of their sleepwear." Jacob said this because, as sleepwear, Neptune took a page out of IF's book and was only wearing what she had on under her hoodie. That is, a cyan and white-striped tube top with lacy frills on the bottom complete with cyan and white-striped panties and cyan and white-strikes stockings with lacy frills on the top. At the very least, she had the sense to take her shoes off. "Especially more so if they're younger than I am."

"But I'm a goddess! That means I must be eons old!" shouted Neptune defiantly.

"Then you're too old and you'll get thrown into prison faster than you can say Hyperdimension Neptunia," Jacob answered as he made his way to the strawberry cake bed closest to the door. "Anyway..." he pulled away the covers, lied down and covered himself again, "... I am now going to sleep in this bed alone. When I wake up, I expect to be in this bed alone. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, you do," IF remarked, resting in the middle bed with Compa beside her. "Now please let's get to sleep. We have dungeon hunting to do in the morning."

"Indeed we do!" agreed Nisa, who was lying in the last bed wearing red pyjamas consisting of a button-up short-sleeved shirt with a folded collar and loose pants. Even though she wasn't wearing her goggles, she still wore her N-shaped hair clip that kept her hair up in its unique style. "Come now, Neptune. We both need our beauty sleep."

"In a tidbit." Neptune turned around and bent down so that she was talking to the dogs around her. "Now boys, if any shady people decide to break in or something's on fire, bark like you've never barked before."

"Arf arf!" the dogs obediently responded.

Neptune patted them all on the head one by one. "Good boys! I'd so give you treats but you're robots and robots don't eat. Oh well." She walked over to Nisa's bed, pulled back the covers and hopped in. "Sweet dreams..." she yawned, "... everyone..."

"Good night, Nep-Nep..." Compa returned with a yawn of her own.

"Goodnight..." Jacob yawned before snuggling into his bed. "Jeez, these beds are comfortable."

"I know, right?" Neptune responded. "I feel like I'm sleeping on a cloud of cotton candy and being massaged by little cloud fairies..."

"I don't think it's big enough, though," Jacob commented as he looked down at his sock-covered feet that poked out of the end of the doona. "I'm really missing my old bed."

"How big was your old bed?" IF asked out of curiosity.

"King sized. Could roll over to another side if one side got too hot for me. It was very comfortable." Jacob let out an amused sigh. "It's surprising, really. I've watched enough garbage on TV that preached not to take your beloved things for granted and it's only now that I actually know what I had."

"You want to go home soon?" Nisa asked.

Jacob thought for a moment. "I do but, at the same time, I really want to see this adventure through with you all. Still... I have to go home. I have no idea what's going on back home but no one even knows I'm here."

"Don't worry, Jacob. I swear on my hairclips that, as soon as I can, I'll find a way for you to get home," Neptune promised. "Alright?"

Jacob smiled a warm smile that no one else saw since his back was facing the rest of the girls. "Thanks, Neptune."

"Hate to spoil the moment but it's getting late and I'd like to sleep sooner rather than later," brought up IF. "Now, close your eyes and count sheep or something."

"Right, sorry," Jacob apologised. "Good night, everyone."

"Good night, my sidekicks."

"'Night."

"Good night."

"Nighty night."

Sixteen quieter "woof"s were made by the dogs all at once as the party closed their eyes and fell into a blissful sleep.

No, I have absolutely no idea what Conversation's hat is. Damn you, Wikipedia! Actually, damn you, Tsunako!

Discovery of the day: in Victory, it is said that CPUs cannot actually fly. Just levitate. At least, that's what I've heard on the NISA forums. Well, I'm going to ignore this for the duration of this fic as Victory has its own continuity completely separate from mk1's but that raises the question of what the hell the CPUs were doing with CFW Magic in the opening scene of mk2.

In any event, Chapter 21, The Steps We Take, is next.