N/A: Hey guys, I was told that my last chapter was a bit too long. And I understand that can be hard to read in one sitting, so I will split this chapter into two parts. I will post part two later today. Thank you all for your comments! They mean a bunch to me. Hope you enjoy the chapter!
*L's POV*
Light came through the the door and tossed his coat aside. On the small chest that we had in the entry way. I couldn't help it. I raced forward and hugged him. He stumbled slightly before hesitantly wrapping his arms around me.
"Hello to you too," he said with a slight chuckle in his voice. "Is everything ok?"
"You found the match," I replied. I knew this was out of character for me, but I was happy. And it wasn't about the match. The match definitely helped, but this was because of the death notes. He hadn't used it.
-"If he takes the death note then I will listen to the rest of your deal," I said to Ryuk, who was bent over in the hallway. "Do you understand."
"Light isn't like other humans," Ryuk responded. "I have never seen someone take to the death note like him. It won't be easy."
"Then you have nothing to worry over."
Ryuk gave a toothy laugh. "You want to risk him getting it back?"
"If I can't trust him, then what do I have?"-
"I also found that earring back one time too," he pointed out, releasing me. I let him go and gave him a smile. "You didn't hug me then."
"I'm just..." I stopped trying to find the right word to use. He waited for my reply quietly, letting me think. "Proud of you Light. You really are trying."
"Trying?" he asked. His russet eyes darkened slightly and I could only guess what he was thinking. It had to be about seeing the death note this morning.
"I believe you," I added, turning away and letting him come inside fully.
"Believe me about what?"
"That you're not killing people in Japan," I answered, moving back into the music room where I had more case files set out. I took my seat on the floor in front of my laptop and pulled a jammie dodger from the package to eat.
"I see." Light sighed and collapsed on the empty part of the couch, loosening his tie. He winced slightly at the movement.
"Are you getting another migraine?" I got on my knees to get up, but he held up his hand to stop me.
"Just the scar. I'm ok." He slouched down into the couch and gave me a small smile. "No wonder people in other parts of the world have bad slouching problems. They don't have anyone to tell them to sit up straight. And this is so much more comfortable."
He was talking about his family. His father in particular. Yagami-san was a good man, but he expected a lot. Far more than should ever be asked from a kid. But maybe that was good. I never had that. Watari really did his best, but he wasn't my father.
Of all the things that I could remember in my life, my parents weren't very much of them. Maybe it was because they ditched me when I was very young, but I figured that most of it was because I blocked out a lot of them. They weren't worth remembering, so why hold onto them?
"Are you listening?"
"Hmm?" I looked up at Light from where I had been staring at the floor in thought.
"I said that I sent the match to look over the blood and see whose it is, though that could take a few weeks. And I am waiting on the judge to sign off on the warrant. And we are still waiting for that security footage, but I sent Bradley to pick up your mail. Maybe it'll finally be here."
"Bradley?" I questioned. For some reason I couldn't put the face with the name.
"Our driver?" Light answered. "The man both you and Watari did an extensive background on. That Bradley."
"Oh. Yes. Thank you." I picked up a file and did my best to look busy, but I knew it wouldn't fool Light. Over the top of the folder I saw him sit forward with another wince, and rest his elbows on his knees.
"Alright. What's going on. What are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" he pushed with a gentle smile. He wasn't judging me or even ordering me to tell. He was just wanting to know.
"I..." I exhaled and lowered the folder. "I was thinking about my parents."
Light's persona immediately changed, becoming angry and defensive. "Why?"
I was taken aback slightly at his reaction. I didn't expect him to be so hostile over the subject. But I guess it made sense at to why he would be. And it's not like my parents did me any favors besides giving birth to me, and I was sure they wouldn't have shown up for that if they could have found a way out of it.
"I'm not sure. It might be because they dropped me off at the orphanage around this time of year. I don't remember exactly when, but it was near my birthday."
"Birthday?" Light grew softer again, his shoulders relaxing. "You've never told me when your birthday is."
"That's because no one needs to know."
It was a trivial date. And I had never received a present or even a card. Not that I minded in the least. In my view, birthdays and birthday parties were for children, and mine were best when they were forgotten, or passed by without comment. I had never even told Watari.
"It's not like I can google the date. There is a whole Wiki of conspiracy theories about you, but no birth date," he said with a smile. But it was fake. I could tell. His eyes didn't light up.
"Did you try to research me?" I wasn't sure why I was surprised by that. He would have tried to find anything out about me that he could have. After all, he did want me dead once upon a time. What was wrong with me? Why was I having so much trouble knowing what light was going to think or say?
"You did taunt me," Light pointed out, relaxing back against the couch. He had a fond look on his face. Smug almost. "I had to figure out who you were. I couldn't have you-" He abruptly stopped speaking, his eyes meeting mine and his face going blank. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking like that. It's best to forget and move on." I opened my mouth to speak, but Light continued before I could get a word out. "When's your birthday?"
He was going to tell me more about being Kira. Damn it. I wanted to know. All he had told me was that he was kira and he used to death note. But he never went into detail. I think it was because he was worried about hurting me, and granted I wasn't bullet proof, but I could take it. I could take the ache if it meant I would understand him better.
"Why does that matter?" I asked, giving up.
He would tell me someday. It might be on my death bed, but he would tell me. I knew killers. I had been hunting them for over a decade. I knew how they thought. They wanted to show off. They wanted someone to know. That's how most of them were caught. They put up neon signs to show themselves because they wanted the credit. Light would tell me.
Light was hardworking, talented, and a natural genius. Highly perceptive and good with problem solving, he was a skilled planner and good at mapping out scenarios. Furthermore, Light was very popular among peers and adored by his family members. However his high intelligence and constant praise from adults laid the foundation for his intense level of hubris.
That's what would give me the information. His want of praise and his over confidence.
"Please L," Light begged, shooting me a knowing smile. He would win this. I might as well lose the battle and win the war later when our next disagreement came as it always did.
"October 31st," I grumbled reluctantly, lowering my gaze to the numerous files that littered the floor. I really needed more computers. There was that extra living room. I could make that into my new work space. And I had the money to get the equipment.
"Halloween?" Light asked curiously. "You were born on halloween?"
"Yes, though I do not believe there will be any record of it anywhere, as my birth certificate and any copies were destroyed. Not to mention that I am currently supposed to be dead."
"That's in a few days," Light thought aloud, a grin plastering his face. "I'm going to get you a present."
"Please don't," I said, my chest going tight. Why did this bother me so much? It was a normal thing that happened to everyone every year.
"You'll like my present. It was something I was going to get you anyways, but now I have a reason." Light was happy. He hadn't been this happy in a while. He looked genuinely untroubled and carefree. Maybe I should just let him do it so that he would be happy. I could play along. I could play that part as long as it made him smile like this.
Light rested back into the couch again, taking to unbuttoning the first few buttons on his shirt, closing his eyes, relaxation apparent on his face. I wouldn't bring up his homework just yet. He deserved this. Especially after what I put him through this morning. He didn't deserve to have that done to him. He had already been so corrupted, I shouldn't have tempted fate. But I had told the truth. I was very proud of him.
But now I had another Kira case to solve. Hopefully this one wouldn't end in my death. I wasn't sure if Light would be able to bring me back a second time. Not that I wanted to come back. Death was peaceful... easy. Life was harder. It had truly been my time, hadn't it? Maybe that had always been my outcome.
And if I did die again, would Light be able to live without me? He had been a complete mess when I first saw him. And he was a wreck for weeks after. And that was with me back. How had he been before I had woken? Woken? I was talking like I had been asleep... But I wasn't sure what else I could compare it to.
"Have you heard from your family lately?" Light's question broke through to me.
"No. Why?" My eyebrows furrowed in question.
"Would..." He looked like he was having trouble forming the words. His eyes were sharp when they opened and his hands were clenched into fists. "Would you ever want to?"
"Where is this coming form?" No I didn't want to. Why on earth would I want to talk to those two? They didn't deserve to know me. They didn't deserve to have me in their lives. They didn't deserve to bask in the accomplishments that I had made. Those accomplishments were mine and they couldn't have them. They couldn't have me.
"It was just a thought. Orphans try to find their parents eventually, or at least try to figure out who they are. I just thought that maybe... You would want that connection."
"I'm not an orphan. I am abandoned." Anger was making my blood hot, but I needed to keep my temper controlled. His heart was in the right place. "And I know who they are. Annabel and Rupert. They are both 43 years old. Last place of known residence is New York, USA. My father worked for a law firm and my mother stayed at home, though was more interested in champagne and her nails than in me. And I get my hair from her. Though she somehow was able to get it to curl and not stick up in this horrible mess. I can only assume I got my brain from my father because my mother was a ditz who believed that seahorses were fake. I'm sure my father married her for her looks and she for his money."
I stopped, falling silent under Light's gaze. He had his head tipped to the side and was back, leaning forward and just listening to me speak. He didn't look like he was forming an opinion, just carefully listening.
"What?" I asked, feeling embarrassment pool in my cheeks.
"Nothing. I'm just thinking. I've never heard that much about your parents. Tell me more?"
I couldn't find any words. I could only open and close my mouth like a fish. How was I supposed to react to that? Was I supposed to be mad? Was I supposed to be grateful? My insides squirmed around and made me feel like I was outside of myself.
Light filled the silence. "I want to know. I hardly know anything about you. Please, Lawliet, tell me."
He really wanted to know. He wouldn't have used my name otherwise. But I had no idea what to say. I didn't talk about myself. It was just something I never did and so I didn't know where to start.
"You're not wanting stupid things like my favorite color, are you?" I asked, unsure of what else to say.
Light chuckled. "Not in particular, no."
"Red."
"What?" he inquired, taken aback. He sat up with a curious look.
"That's my favorite color. Red." How pathetic. What was wrong with me? But Light didn't laugh. He gave me a kind smile. He cared. "Is there anything you want to know?"
"How did you meet Watari?"
"My parents left me at an orphanage with an elderly woman and when she died, Watari took over the orphanage and turned it into a home for gifted children. Wammy's house. He trained people to be like me. At the top are Near, Mello and Matt. Beyond used to be there as well before he died.
"I haven't made much contact with the place. Even if it was for gifted children, children like me, I was an outcast. I was the one that was picked on. Though now, I'm a sort of celebrity. Before the Kira case picked up, Watari would have me speak to the children that were having a difficult time, though it was only ever audio."
Light was silent for a moment, taking everything in. Nervously I picked up another cookie and took a bite. After a beat, Light gave a nod in understanding. "Did you know Beyond?"
"Not on a personal level. He was taken in right after me, but we never spoke with one another. And he bullied a lot of the other kids. They were all afraid of him. What do you know about him?" I had always been curious. Beyond had died of a heart attack, chained up in his padded room. It could have just been a normal heart attack, but I didn't think so. It was Kira. It had been Light.
"In the states, he killed people. That's about all I know. But... it was me. I remember the name. It was such an odd name." Light inhaled sharply, looking away from me. He was ashamed. Maybe he was more human than I thought.
"It was one of my first cases. There were a few murders in LA and and FBI agent, was in charge of the case. I got on board and discovered that Beyond had been so envious of me that he had taken lives to get my attention. But I was far too busy on another case to go to the states, so I worked with the FBI agent to solve it. She found him right before he took his own life and arrested him."
"Who was the FBI agent?" Light questioned, dropping to the floor to sit beside me among the papers.
"Naomi Misora," I answered, a pain filling my chest. Light's eyes widened and searched my face, seeing if I had told the truth. He swiftly pulled away from me, causing some cases to fall to the floor from the stacks they had been on.
"I-I'm so sorry, L," he choked out, avoiding my gaze. "I know that I will never be forgiven for that. I'm so sorry."
There was a distance between us now. It was like the floor had opened up in the middle of us, breaking us apart. He was right. I could never forgive him for what he had done. But I had promised to accept and protect him, and that's what I was going to do, even if it went against everything I stood for morally. I loved him far more than I should have.
"Anything else?" I asked, hoping that we could just go back to before. Back to where we were actually connecting and not fighting.
Light was quiet, anxiously playing with his tie, eyes downcast. But he did eventually find his voice. "Why do you know so much about your parents if you don't care?"
I had not been expecting that. I was dumbstruck. I didn't honestly know the answer myself. How could I know so much about people that I hadn't seen in over ten years? "I kept tabs on them up until the Kira case." Light glanced up slightly at me. "Then I got far to busy to bother."
"Why did you bother in the first place?"
My mind spoke before I could think of the answer. "They're my parents. Despite everything they ever did to me, they did the right thing by leaving me on the porch of that old house in Winchester. I wasn't happy and neither were they. And if they hadn't, then I wouldn't be here."
Light only nodded, his hands still scrunching up and straightening his tie. I reached out and took one of his hands in mine, causing him to look up. He was shaking. He knew he had done wrong and that was all that I had hoped for. That he knew he messed up and that he would do anything to fix it.
"What about you?" I asked softly. "What about your childhood?"
"There's not much to tell," he admitted, not pulling his hand from mine, but still trembling. "My main focus was on school and being the best. And while I was at home, if I wasn't helping my sister with homework or her after school activities, I was studying. Nothing interesting happened before I found the note book."
"Nothing?" I asked, curious. There had to be something.
"I had braces in middle school," he replied, his eyes looking up in thought. "Which was odd, considering Japan's dental ideals."
A smile came to my lips and I couldn't help but laugh. His lips turned up in a small smile of his own and he gave my hand a squeeze. "Alright, Mr. Boring," I teased. "What's your favorite color?"
"Blue."
I woke in the morning, alone in our bed. I didn't remember the last time I had slept so much. Light wouldn't let me work last night. He wanted to watch Tv, though I wasn't sure why I couldn't work and watch at the same time. But it was nice to take a break and relax with him.
Light's voice came from somewhere in the distance, out in the hallway. He must have been on the phone because it was one sided. It took me a bit to be able to understand what was being said, as it was in a hushed voice.
"You'll be here soon then?" Light asked. There was a pause. "Perfect. Alright, I'm late for class. I'll talk to you later."
Who? Who was going to be here? No one was supposed to be here. Maybe Light had meant some place different. Maybe I had heard it wrong.
Light strode back into the room, grabbing his suit coat, but stopped at the sight of me, shoving his phone in his pocket. "Morning," he said hurriedly, coming over and placing a kiss to my cheek. "I'm late for school. There's gonna be someone coming over today. Don't worry. They are just dropping off something that I need you to sign for. Just write my name, alright?"
He headed for the door, but I snatched his hand and up. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's alright. I promise. Just make sure you answer the door. If not the package will be sent back." He pulled gently on his hand. "I've really got to go, L." I shook my head and he sighed. "What? Yesterday you were upset that I wasn't going and now you don't want me to go."
I didn't want him to go. I didn't want to be left alone again. Not today of all days. I had told him, but he didn't even remember. Why would he forget? Why was I so hurt over it? Or maybe he hadn't forgotten. Maybe he was just trying to let me be. But I had expected more from him on my birthday.
"I really got to go, Hun," he pressed, leaning down and giving me a gentle kiss. That wasn't enough. I wanted more. He had become so much more gentle with me since I came back. "I'll be back in a few hours and it's Friday. You'll have me all weekend."
"Alright," I mumbled with a nod, releasing my hold on his hand. He gave a grateful look and left the room.
"I love you! I'll let you know when I'm on my way home," he called from the hall, his voice growing softer. "And don't forget the package!"
I flopped back on the bed, stretching out slightly before curling back into a small shape. I pulled one of Light's pillows to me and held it close. His scent lingered on the fabric and made my chest warm.
I was always so conflicted when it came to him, but one thing was always quite clear to me. I loved Light Yagami. Maybe I had always loved him. I had always thought of him as special and as my friend. Even if we had a complicated past. But the worst had to be over now. We were finally able to breathe again.
"Look who was right after all," a raspy voice said behind me. I didn't bother turning around to face the shinigami. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. He would never truly disappear, would he? He would haunt this house, Light and me forevermore.
"And you will follow our agreement, correct?" I asked, hugging Light's pillow closer to me. I felt guilty for having done that to him. I shouldn't have put the death notes in front of him. It wasn't fair. It was just hurting him.
"No more teasing Light. What a shame." there was movement and in a blink Ryuk was sitting on the floor beside the bed, his horrible eyes meeting mine. "You really should have seen him." Ryuk's laugh filled the room and sent unpleasant shivers through me. "He knew right away it was me. Came searching for me."
"Just as long as you don't do it again." I forced myself to sit up, the pillow trapped between my legs and my chest. "You had your fun. It's time for you to leave him alone."
"Lawliet, I have a question."
My teeth gritted at the name, my blood going hot. I hated when he said it. Especially when he knew my full name. Especially since he had his own death note and could get rid of me whenever he pleased.
Ryuk gave me a toothy grin before he continued, his voice foul. "Did you know what Light gave up for you to come back?"
I perked up at this. Light had made a deal with Ryuk? "What?" I found myself saying. "What did he do?"
"There is a price for anything you do with the death note, even erasing a name has its consequences."
"Tell me!" I demanded. What horrible thing had Light done to bring me back? What had Light kept from me?
"To erase a name in the death note, a life must be traded. You've got to replace what you take out," Ryuk said, his smile still ever present.
"So he killed someone else to bring me back..." I thought aloud. I was sick to my stomach. My inside turned inside out and made me just want to curl up on the bathroom floor just incase my body decided to turn on me.
"I didn't tell him that part. I knew he wouldn't make the deal if I did." There was another rusty laugh that made my stomach flip horribly. "But there is more if you wanted to know."
I wanted to know, but I didn't know how much I could take. My head was already spinning like a turn cycle in a washing machine.
"You fucking shinigami!" I shouted, my hands clutching my legs tighter.
"Is that a no?" He sounded so innocent but pleased at the same time, as if I had given him exactly the reaction that he had wanted.
I couldn't find my voice to reply, but before Ryuk continued he looked towards the exit of the bedroom questioningly. I followed his gaze, but didn't see anything.
"Someone's at the door," he said softly before jumping to his feet and fading through the wall.
Soon I could just barely make out a knock at the door downstairs. I lifted myself from the bed and left the room. I felt dizzy and weak. Damn shinigami. What else had Light done? What horrible things did it take to bring me back?
Nervousness filled me as I rounded the corner to the stairs. This would be the first time that I will have seen another living entity other than Ryuk and Light since I woke.
I made my way down the stairs, more knocks following the first one. I went to the door, my hand resting on the door handle, but I couldn't bring myself to open the door. It was so weird. There was another person on the other side of this wood. Human contact.
I had never much cared for the thing, but now that I was forced from it and it wasn't as per my choice, I wasn't sure what to do or how to act. I had never been good at social interactions anyway.
With a deep breath, I opened the door, and stopped. My mind was blank. Before me was an old man in a suit.
"You look right as rain, sir," he said in English, bowing his head slightly, not a single grey hair out of place.
"You're early," I whispered. I could feel tears start to gather, but I didn't let them fall. Instead I hugged him. A hug hid my face so he couldn't see. "I've missed you, Watari."
He gave a deep chuckle and patted my back. "It is good to see you too. How have you been? I've seen quite a few of your cases. You seem to be doing well."
I let him go and moved aside so that he could come in. There were no words. This had to be Light. Watari wouldn't have come early otherwise. He was very punctual and precise.
Why could I not think of anything to say? "What are you doing here?"
"Light asked me to come early, though I can not in good conscious tell you why." Watari smiled, his moustache curving up slightly as well.
My footsteps halted and the cold of the hard wood began to seep into my bare feet. "He did this?" It was him. What was Light doing? Why did he need Watari here?
"How are things going with him?" Watari questioned, moving into the living room that was to the right. Watari looked at home as he took a seat on one of the couches that was present. I took a seat across from him on the other couch, feeling a blush come turn my skin warm, and the nauseated feeling I had slowly fading.
"Fine," I answered. Things felt fine between us. It was calmer since we came here. He wasn't trying to seduce me at every turn. He also wasn't trying to prove a point or keep secrets or anything of that sort. Maybe I knew him better now. Knew the man before the god complex.
"Just fine?" Watari pushed, but gently and with kind eyes.
I inhaled deeply. "He feels very distant. He's just always gone and..." Watari waited for my words, folding his hands on his crossed legs. "He's all I've got. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to go insane because I'm left with only my mind."
"And to fill that, you work?"
"I've always worked," I shot back, though I knew he was right. Work was used to fill the void. To fill the silence. I didn't want to think about it at the moment. "It's nice to see you."