*L's POV*

I winced slightly, adjusting the cuff around my wrist. Until Light was better, I would have to keep this cuff on us. But he was alright, he didn't have a death note and he was fast asleep. He needed the rest. He needed to sleep away all of the torture he was in. And he was trying so hard to keep our promise. I knew he was. Even when I caught him searching the house, I knew he was doing his best.

This withdrawal had been particularly bad, and I just hoped that he would get over it soon. And tomorrow, he could have another full day of rest. I would get him to cancel his therapy session, and his finals didn't begin until tuesday. Tomorrow was just another extra review day. I had triple checked to make sure that he was ok to just rest.

Rest was the best thing that I could give him at the moment.

But that was also the best thing that he could give me. Now I could work and not be afraid of him hurting himself. I hadn't told him, but I had solved the Paris case without him, if I could trust my emails. As well as having Watari to bounce ideas off of again. It helped greatly.

But the Paris case had been interesting and my weird theory, one that i normally would have shot down because Light didn't agree, was correct. The security tapes had shone the brother arriving at the hotel. And it had taken quite a bit of force, but I had gotten footage of the lobby and hallways as well.

After watching all of the footage, and rewatching it several ties to make sure that I hadn't missed anything, I had come to the same conclusion. The brother must have gotten ill and the hotel staff had taken him to the hospital because of how high his fever was.

And once the bother was gone, they had to come up with a story to tell the sister. The head manager that had been on duty had finally told police what had happened after Watari had called them to inform them that the brother was indeed in the hospital, due to records and that the sister had been telling the truth.

The manager had said that because of the epidemic that had been going around and that the owner of the branch was coming to give an inspection, they couldn't afford to make the guests sick and ruin their reputation. Not to mention that they had been booked because of the concert.

I wasn't exactly clear on what the charges would be for the staff, because everyone had been notified of the story and told to go along with it. But that wasn't my concern any more. The brother was safe, the sister was innocent, and no one had been injured in anyway.

And now that that case was finished and the suspicious suicide was almost coming to a close, I could work on the other two that were clogging my inbox.

That damn Kira case was grinding my gears and I wasn't sure where to even begin. Because this wasn't Light. This wasn't a man who I had spent the better part of two years hunting down and spending every living and breathing second with. This was someone new who had the power. Who had a death note. Who, like Gregory, Misa or even Light, could find my name in a matter of moments. It was too dangerous for me to handle in person like I had when Light was my Kira. It was better that I stayed where I was. But that wouldn't help me.

Plus, his kill count was going up every day. More and more people were dying, but they weren't just criminals. Light had been on an almost exact path, a very strict guideline, to only kill criminals. And Misa, when she found Light, had followed his lead.

But now, those who were dying were innocent bystanders as well as criminals. Maybe the innocent had records that were wiped that I didn't know about. Or maybe, the innocent were somehow related in someway to Kira. That's where I would need to start. Searching up victims and their records as well as their family, friend and school relationships. I needed to start finding connections.

But the other case that was on my mind was the cold case I had picked up. I had never worked a cold case before, but I didn't think that would be that difficult. Just a puzzle that already had most of its pieces. I just needed that last few. All of the work had been done for me. I just needed to figure out how it all worked together.

A young girl was found on the side of a jogging track after missing for five days. She was eventually identified as Catherine Blakely, a college student who was last seen by her roommate Daphne Bridgit. Catherine had been on her way to her therapy session with Doctor Rose West.

The name stuck out to me, but I would come back to that in a bit. I needed to work through the known facts first before I went off and started thinking about the name Rose West.

When the doctor was contacted, she said that Catherine had never arrived for the appointment. Daphne had been taking a test at the testing center and had left right when Catherine had for her therapy session. The roommate as well as the doctor were put through extensive questioning, but had no idea what had happened to Catherine. Her family was also questioned, but none had seen her since she had come home for her weekend visit. And each family member had a solid alibi. Children were in school, and both parents were in meetings at work.

Then the questioning went to all of her teachers. But all of them said that they hadn't seen her since the last class period and all of them had alibis for during the time she had gone missing, whether it was teaching a class, to being out of town or spending time with their family. They all checked out.

And that's where the case had begun to grow cold. There were no leads to follow. And there were never any tips called in. No one knew where she had gone, who had done it, or how she had ended up so close to the jogging trail with no one noticing who had placed her body there.

And the cause of death was never specified. She had multiple bruises on her body, though none of them had any specific tellings as to what they came from. The parents believed that they had happened while she was having seizures.

When questioned about her medical condition, she had recently began having seizures. The reason for them hadn't been discovered yet. But her roommate had, nicely enough, been studying medicine and knew how to handle the seizures while getting Catherine medical help from professionals.

It's very possible that she had died from a seizure, but there was no way to be100% sure without a better autopsy. And it had been about a decade. There wouldn't be very much of a body left at all.

I wasn't sure what I would do about finding the cause of death. I could talk to the M.E. who did the work. That's what I would have to do. I would have to backtrack and re interview everyone that was ever involved with the case. I would end up digging a lot of dirt and hard feelings.

But... That would be Light's job. God, this was so infuriating. Not that I had ever really done any of the leg work myself unless it absolutely had to be done, but I didn't like the option not being free for me to use.

I was slowly going crazy in this house. Watari was helping, but soon he would be leaving to go back to Japan with the Yagamis when Light's graduation was over.

A graduation that I would not be able to attend. And for some reason that bothered me. I couldn't place a finger on it, but I was thoroughly upset that I wasn't going to be able to go.

Maybe because it was a way to show support to Light. Not that I hadn't been supportive to him. I felt like I had been. I had helped with his schooling, I had gotten him an under the table job with the police... Maybe that was more selfish than it was for Light, but it would help him as well. He wanted to be part of the police force and rise to detective, and I had given him an in. And then I had helped him through nights like tonight.

Nights where he was in so much mental pain that he couldn't do anything but cry and tear into himself for days at a time. Nights where he couldn't sleep, where nightmares were the new norm but nonetheless terrifying.

Nights like...

"L?" came Light's soft voice.

I gave a small sigh and lowered the paper in my forefingers to look down at him. I ran my fingers through his hair. I had just gotten him to sleep. I felt almost like a parent during times where he was sick. I had taken care of him in everyway that I could possible help and gotten him to finally relax, so I could get some much needed work done. But... I loved him. He would always come before my work.

"What's the matter?" I asked gently.

"Will you play the piano for me?"

I was slightly taken aback by the request. I hadn't heard that for several weeks. He hadn't asked me to play for a while, I had figured he had just grown tired of my music.

But I would gladly play for him whenever he asked. He was the only one who hadn't judged me upon knowing that I played, unlike the rest of the task force. Not that they teased me in any way, but somehow I just knew that they thought it was strange and weird that I could play.

"Of course," was my answer.

I stood from the bed and walked around to the other side, taking Light's outstretched hand. I pulled him out of the bed carefully and wrapped my arm around his waist as he stumbled. He grimaced, his hand reaching out and clutching the front of my white shirt for balance.

"I've got you," I whispered, holding him tightly as we made our way slowly out of the room. The stairs were a touch difficult, but we made them down in one piece. And then to the music room. I offered him the couch for him to lay down, but he refused and took his normal chair beside the grand. I took my seat on the bench and stretched slightly. "Any requests?"

"Something soft," he answered, sinking in his chair in a deep slouch, eyes closed.

His skin was pale and ashen, sickly. And his forehead glistened with sweat. He wore a light t-shirt and his boxers, shivering, but he refused to put on anything else over the top of it because he said it hurt him.

I gave another small sigh. What was I supposed to do with him? Had it been my fault that he had this withdrawal? It had to have been. He hadn't had this bad of one in at least a month.

My fingers took their position on the keys and I played gently, an Impromptu by Schubert. Light always tended to enjoy German influenced music more than any other. And that gave me a fairly large amount of pieces to choose from.

Composers like Bach, Beethoven, Handel, Brahms, Mendelssohn... And though Schubert was Austrian, German was very present in his style.

I glanced over and could see Light's knee gently bouncing in time to the music, his arms folded over his chest and his head tipped back against the chair.

There was a noise behind me and I glanced back to see Watari with a tray of tea and cookies. A small amount of guilt flowed through me. I didn't mean wake him. And the absolutely didn't need to make me anything. I could make tea. It wasn't that hard to make. Though, I had never really tried to make cookies before. Though it probably wouldn't be that difficult.

I continued playing as he poured out two cups for us and set one atop of the piano for me and handed one to Light who sat up stiffly in his chair.

A plate of cookies was placed beside the tea and I could see him bow to the side of me. I gave a small nod and he went back to his tray.

I glanced behind me to see him pass Light a small cup with two pills in it for him to take. Light gave a look of displeasure, but he took the medicine. With another small bow, Watari left the room.

I turned back to the piano as Light rested back in the chair, his tea set aside. The room was silent other than the piano and by the time I had finished the seven minute piece, I could hear Light snoring easily.

He must have been so tired, but I couldn't move him. I wasn't strong enough and I knew if I did move him back to our room he would just be too awake. I could try to move him to the couch. That way he wouldn't be so horribly stiff when he woke up.

But before I could get to my feet, his voice greeted me. "Why did you stop playing?" he hadn't moved or opened his eyes. He hadn't even inhaled deeply signalling he had woken. I blushed slightly at the words, embarrassed for some reason that I couldn't place. He hummed a small tune, his knee bouncing again. "Can you play that one?"

Elgar? English? That was unusual for Light. I knew the piece. But only the accompaniment.

"I do not know how to play the cello," I muttered. A small smile covered Light's lips and pink dusted his cheeks.

"You could if you wanted to," he replied, a bit of happiness to his voice. He scratched at his nose, the chain clanking as he moved, but he didn't seem to notice. "You could do anything you ever wanted."

I felt my chest grow tight and my cheeks fill with warmth at the words. It was true. The cello wouldn't be that horribly complicated for me to learn.

The strings were each a note and each finger represented another note. And the cello read bass clef a good percentage of the time. I wouldn't have to learn a new staff. It wasn't like playing the viola or something as off putting as that.

"I'll hum the cello parts," Light pushed.

I could figure out the cello's notes if I was given a little bit of time, but I had never really heard Light do anything musically save for that scale he played once so long ago.

"Alright." I nodded and turned back to the piano. I waited for him to start. This would be interesting.

He began the minor rolled chord, his voice soft and rusty. But it wasn't unpleasant in any way. It was in no way a voice for the grandest of stages, but it was a sweet sound that would be pleasent to hear in the kitchen or on a walk.

Then the next rolled chord. And I played my notes. i played along to his gently hums until they slowed and eventually came to a stop. But I continued to play. I couldn't bring myself to stop.

It was like one night when Light was beside the piano, in his hospital bed. He hung to every last note I had played until sleep caught up to him.

But I couldn't bring myself to stop playing. And so I played for hours, living on my normal sugar and collagen tea, until the sun had rose.

I had been so worried about him. More so than I was now. I was worried, yes, nut he wasn't in the grasp of death. He was just in immense pain.

Back then had seemed so long ago, though it wasn't as far as I thought. And it might not have been that far away time wise, but it was a completely different world. An utterly different world.

The world used to be so straightforward. It used to make sense. It used to be difficult, but it was in no way impossible. Now that I knew about the shinigamis and death notes, the world was upside down. It confused me to no end. It made me want to know more, but at the same time I didn't want to know anything about it.

The song came to an end and I snatched up a cookie, munching on it. I turned back to look over Light to make sure that he was still alright.

I got to my feet and stepped over to him, reaching out and gently resting my hand on his forehead. He was still burning up, but at least he was resting.

He always claimed that he had insomnia when he had withdrawals, but I think he would be surprised at how much sleep he did get.

I knew it wasn't a pleasant sleep, that he woke up often and had trouble getting back to sleep, but he did sleep.

I leaned forward and placed a kiss to his head, stroking his hair. My ring caught the light and when I pulled back, I held out the silver band to see.

I had never seen my life here. I had never seen my life particularity anywhere other than locked in a room with sweets and technology to keep my company.

But this ring was my life. It was new and scary and felt a little weird still. But I wasn't alone anymore.

I had never seen my life here. I never thought that in my wildest dreams I would feel this way for another person.

I had never seen my life this way. Rehabbing a killer. It was almost funny in a way. The one thing I had been fighting against for almost my whole life was now what I was desperately in love with.

I gave him all of me that I could. I knew there were parts of me that would never come to light, parts of me that would be hidden and taken to the grave.

And it wasn't because of Light or because of what he was. It wasn't because of the sins of his past. It was because I would never be able to accept those parts of me enough to tell someone about them.

And I never thought that I would be in a relationship. I never thought I would be happy. I never thought that I would eventually be married, tied to the one I loved.

I made my way back to the piano bench and picked up my tea, but paused.

Married... The thought sent a flood of nervousness through me. It wouldn't be in anyway a big wedding. Light's family would never know. I'm certain they would never hear about the wedding.

The only one that would be likely to attend would be Watari. I would be happy with that. Would Light though? Would he be able to live this type of life?

A life where he lived two lives, mine and his. A life where he did everything for me when it came to being out in public. A life where... It would be only us with our demons.

I didn't want to live that life forever. I needed to get out of this place. I needed to live my life and I needed to work more efficiently.

We would have to talk about all of this. We had a lot to talk about and I knew that we couldn't keep avoiding all of it. If we did, we would eventually crack and fall apart. I knew that it would blow up in our faces.

It would end us if we waited too long, but I understood why he didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't want to have it either. It would create a deeper rift between us that I wasn't sure we could fix. We were already so far apart and we were so happy in this fake space. In this deceiving calmness.

It would end. It always ends. Everything always came to a stop, whether is was a storm, a movie or someone's heart... It always ended.

I took a sip of my cooling tea and set it back on the piano. I pulled my knees closer to my chest and looked over Light slowly, inch by inch.

I really did care for him deeply. I really did try my best to make him happy. I really did try to come out of my shell for him. I just hoped that he saw it. And I hoped that he was giving me the same.

The longer I looked over him, the more Ryuk's words snuck to the forefront of my mind.

There is a price for anything you do with the death note, even erasing a name has its consequences.

What was the other consequence? The first had been someone taking my place. And like Ryu, I knew for a fact that if Light had known, he never would have made the deal. But what was so easy for him to say yes to? What was the price? And what about me was so important that he would risk the price for me?

"What do you see in me?" I asked softly. "What have you ever seen in me?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," a husky voice said beside me. I had to force myself not to jump.

"Why have you taken a liking to me?" I questioned, glancing back enough to see the arm and collar of Ryuk. I turned back to Light and snatched up a cookie to eat.

"You're the one I'm most interested in at the moment," was he reply. "I can make more ground with you than I can with him."

"What is it that you're wanting to accomplish?" The cookie was no longer sweet to me and I set it down to be forgotten.

"You refuse to hear the other half of my deal, but it has to do with Light and what he did to bring you back."

I was silent. It had to do with that. Now I was curious. Now I wanted to know more than I had before. What had Light done. What was the deal? But I knew that if I found out what it was that I would be inclined to take it.

"What was the other thing that Light did to bring me back?" I couldn't stand it any longer. I needed to know.

"Other than replacing you with someone else, one has to give up their chance at heaven or hell and become a shinigami when they die."

My gaze darted back to Light who still slept soundly, slumped in his chair. A shinigami? Why in the fucking hell would he ever agree to such a harebrained, mentally deranged idea? What would cause him to-

Me... I was the cause. I was the reason. I was what broke him and made him into what he was now.

"Not that he was going to either in the first place. Maybe the shinigami realm will be better than the void," Ryuk continued.

Light as a shinigami... The thought was weird and didn't sit right in my head. It didn't sit right because it fit. Somehow it made sense for that to be Light's fate. Somehow I knew he would fit into the shinigami realm without a problem, because he was Light. Because he was the way he was.

My head tipped to the side as silence filled the room. What would Light look like? Would he be as monstrous as Ryuk? Would he be so inhuman to scare, but human enough that you felt an understanding?

And the more I thought of this, the more burning I felt to know. I wanted to know. I needed to know. It would eat me up inside if I didn't know. "What's your deal?" I questioned.