CASEY'S POV

I get woken up by the sun shining in my eyes- just like every day lately, it was dawn, and no matter what everybody said, I hated waking up so early. Rising with the sun, joining the sun in it's morning routine, whatever you want to call it, was torture. Attempting to fall asleep again would just end horribly; this wasn't the type of war I would be able to win.

I check my phone. 6 am. Why the hell does the sun rise so early here? It's terrible, I would never subject anybody to this horrible mistreatment; humans were meant to sleep until at least noon, I'm sure of it. Waking up so early is not okay, its like abuse. Either way, I was stuck waking up at this time until I could figure out a solution; if I don't go to sleep until 6 in the morning, maybe I wouldn't wake up then.

I had to get up anyways, despite the gears churning in my mind on how to keep myself from getting up so early. Nobody was online at this time, but you know what was? The cold. It was freezing, oh my god. Glancing out my frost-covered window, the ground and trees are coated in snow- just like every other day this Winter. When I was younger, I lived in California, where it was always hot. I hadn't even seen snow until I was 16, but now that I lived up here, I was honestly sick of it.

I quickly grab an oversized cardigan that was hanging over the back of my computer chair, shrugging it on. Ahh, warmth. I'd forgotten what that was. I head into my bathroom; might as well get an early start to the day, yeah? I brush my hair and teeth, washing my face, but I don't put any makeup on. It takes too much time, and it doesn't do much to make me look any better, anyways.

I sift through my closet until I found an outfit that I could wear that I, you know, wouldn't freeze to death in. I'd seen other girls wearing shorts a few weeks back, when it was still as cold as it is now, and I honestly think they're crazy. I finally find something that I think will work- black tights with light blue skinny jeans over them, a long sleeved plaid shirt and the oversized cardigain I'd been wearing over it. Still cold. I pull on a simple gray beanie over my hair, shivering a bit- I'll just have to deal with it, I guess.

I check my phone, looking at my skype messages. From Mat, a simple, "Dude, why haven't you been replying?". I hesitate, deciding to not reply to that yet. It'd been sent 2 hours ago anyways; 7 am his time. The curious thought of why he was up so early ran through my brain, but disappeared quickly as I continued to read the messages. Mitch hadn't said anything- he'd never messaged me, and I doubted he ever would. Pete, Brandon, whatever you want to call him, had asked "You okay?". To that, I typed a short response: "I dont know".

And I didn't. I don't know whats up with me- I can't find the motivation for anything. Nothing interested me. Skyping with friends, minecraft, youtube- they all bored me. I was never happy. It was as if I was treating life like a tedious task, needing to be finished so I could go on and do whatever it was I was meant to do.

What was I meant to do? Nothing in my possible future seemed to stand out; nothing was appealing. Drawing, writing, even travelling the world or making videos, nothing stood out to me. Everything was exactly the same. All gray and black and white- there was no colour to the world any longer.

I let out a soft sigh before replying to Mat, fingers tapping away at the touchscreen of my phone; "sorry, ive been busy". It was a lie, I wasn't busy. Nothing in my life had changed, it was all just go to college, come home, talk to family. Draw owed art, write stupid things. Homework. The same as it had always been.

It scared me. Really, it did. Once everything had been so bright and colourful and beautiful, full of opourtunities and ways to make myself happier. Now? Now I didn't care. I couldn't care, and I didn't understand. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

I power up my laptop, changing my skype status from "do not disturb" to "online". Almost immediately, I get a call from Mat. I take a deep breath before answering, plastering a fake smile on my face. Even if it wasn't a video call, I've heard that smiling makes you sound like you're smiling; time to test the theory.

Before I have a chance to say anything, he speaks. "Don't lie to me, Casey. Brandon told me what you said, I know you're not busy." His voice was concerned, almost.. upset? Angry? Worried? I couldn't tell. I don't reply to that, biting my lip as I thought of what I could say to that.

"I'm fine, Mat. Leave me be." I try to sound strong, maybe a bit annoyed- but my voice shakes. I take a deep breath, before speaking again. "Don't believe me if you want. I don't care." I hiss, voice quiet so he couldn't hear if my voice shook again. I click the end call button.

I ignore any messages after that- from anybody. I switch my skype to do not disturb, before updating my status, ignoring the many spelling mistakes. "im fnie. leave me alnoe i dotn need peopel askign me whats wrong. im fine". And that's that. I close skype, slamming my laptop shut.

I'm fine.

[ A/N: I'm really sorry that it's been forever since I last updated, honestly. I've lost interest in minecraft and minecraft youtubers- I want the story to focus more on her real life for a while. Casey is a bit lost, I'm not sure if she's depressed though; she just doesn't know who she is, where her life is going. ]