A/N: Hey guys. Sorry it's so late. My life has taken a bit more of a sharp turn and so I haven't quite finished this chapter, but I promised and so I am going to give you what I have to far. I am not sure when I will have the rest of it out. I'm taking next weekend off for Christmas, and most likely the next one for New Years. I'll just have to see how I feel. But I will finish this story. Double pinkie promise. Thank you guys for all of your support and love. That really has made my life a tad brighter.

Anyways, here's part one, riddled with spelling error. Don't think too horribly of me. Enjoy. Love you all. And how a wonderful Holiday with whatever it is you celebrate!

*Light's POV*

The next few days were no less than a blur. I honestly don't remember taking my finals, but i did well. Passed everything with flying colors and that was more than I could ask for.

And ever since what L was calling my hallucination, L had been very attentive and protective. I didn't mind much, it was nice in a way, when I remembered what was going on. It was nice to have the attention, though I slept through a lot of it.

Hallucination... That's what the doctor had called it when he saw me, though he gave no explanation other than stress. Maybe that was why L used the word. But it felt like more to me. Like he wasn't telling me something, but I wasn't going to push it. We had our boundaries and he respected mine, so i could respect his.

"Sir, will you be accompanying me to the airport?" Watari asked as he brought in the next round of tea and sweets for L.

I glance up from my empty hands that I had been staring at for who knows how long. "Is that today?" I mumbled. I caught L's pause in typing as he looked over at me. His concern wasn't lost on me.

"Yes," Watari replied without missing a beat as if what i said hadn't been anything out of the ordinary. "Would you like to join me?"

I gave an absent minded shrug and returned to looking at my hands. I knew I was acting differently, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Why don't you go," L suggested, hopefulness in his tone. "You haven't seen them in quite a while."

My mind struggled with the thought. I didn't want to . I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to leave this room and I didn't want to be anywhere L wasn't. I hadn't seen a death note in days. As long as he was there. I hadn't seen one. If I left, would it reappear?

"It's ok," L nodded. "Go see your family."

L was much calmer than i remembered him being whenever he spoke about my family visiting. It made me feel a bit better about leaving. Finally, I gave a nod and caught a look of relief wash over L's features. He was happy I was going?

Time moved again, like it so often did when I was paid no attention, without my consciousness and I was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair, waiting for my family's plane to land. I glanced around at all of the people that were chatting and bustling around to get to their gates. The smell of overly expensive Italian food filled the small waiting area.

"Sir, is there something that I can get you?" Watari asked from beside me.

"No, I'm alright," I replied dully. "And you can call me Light, Watari. Sir is my father."

"Very good, Sir," I glanced up to see a small smile under the old man's grey mustache. I returned it the best that I could.

A comfortable silence fell between us as time jumped again. Jumped to an enthusiastic hello from a sweet voice. Sayu.

I got to my feet just in time to be tackled in a hug from my younger sister. I grimaced at the pain that filled my body, pulling me back to myself, from the multiple cuts over me, but I did my best to push it away. Instead I gave a confused look. When someone wasn't speaking to me it was like I didn't exist. It was as if I stopped until someone paid me attention. I knew that wasn't true, but it sure felt like it.

I hugged my sister back, a smile on my face. Maybe I really needed this. I felt almost normal again. There was still a darkness that pulled down on my heart, a fear deep in my lungs, carving into my ribs.

"You've grown," I noted as I released my sister. She was almost a head taller now.

"Congrats," Sayu said with a bubbly smile. Next came my mom. Then my father. Hand outstretched for me to take.

"We're proud of you," my father said in his deep voice, shaking my hand forcefully.

I gave a nod. It was nice to hear. I didn't get it often. But for some reason, it didn't make me feel quite as special as it had in the past. My father then greeted Watari and we went to fetch their luggage.

On the way there, I could feel a buzzing in my pocket and fished out my phone. It was Adam. I shot my family and apologetic look and took the call.

"Adam?" I asked, plugging my other ear with my index finger to hear better about the chatter of the airport.

"We've got the warrant," Adam said from the other line.

"That's great," I answered, closing my eyes so I could concentrate more.

"English please," Adam laughed on the other side.

I wasn't speaking English? What was wrong with me? "I'm sorry Adam. Busy day. You got the warrant though."

"Yeah we did."

"Do I need to come in?" I followed my family through the airport, being dragged by my arm by my sister.

"We already have a team serving it. I'll keep you updated if we find the fire extinguisher."

I caught some voices on the background of the phone.

"Are you there right now?" I questioned, my movement becoming slightly faster due to my sister's pull.

"Yeah, I thought you'd like to know. Again. I'll keep you posted."

"Keep me posted?"I questioned. Phrases were still difficult for me. It took me a while to realize that what's up was asking how you were and not what was above you.

"I'll call you if we get anything."

"Oh." I nodded to no one. My feet came to an abrupt stop when we got to the luggage pick up. "I'll talk to you later then?"

"Yeah. Talk to you in awhile."

"Alright. Thanks Adam." I lowered the phone from my ear and shoved it back into my pocket. "Sorry, working a case," I explained, though when I looked up, no one was paying me much mind. They were all busy with the baggage claim Watari came to stand beside me. "Do you think they can see?"

"Even if they were able to see, I doubt any of them would mention it," Watari replied softly, arms clasped behind him, his back straight and tall.

"Can you tell that there is something wrong with me?" I asked softly, my hands nervously crumpling the bottom of my shirt. "I feel like everyone can see it. See through me. They know."

"L and I are too close to the situation for me to give an appropriate answer," was my reply.

I gave a sigh. I knew there was something wrong. There was something majorly wrong with my brain. It wasn't the organized library that it normally was. It was cracking and falling apart, abandoned and dirty. I wasn't in any sense of the word "normal". What a beautiful word that was just out of reach. Normal.

I plastered a smile to my face as my sister raced back to me. She took my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. "Light, can I come spend the night at your place tonight?" she asked me happily, her eyes shining brightly.

My mouth fell open and I couldn't find the words to speak. My library didn't have a book on how to reply to a younger sibling who could possibly meet your supposed to be dead fiance. My eyes darted to Watari, who was as calm as ever, though he said nothing.

"I don't see why not," came my mother voice from some far off place to the side of me. "What do you think?" That was directed at my father, who grumbled slightly before his baritone voice answered.

"We can always go out for dinner tomorrow night before your graduation."

I could feel a sharp blow to my stomach that almost knocked the air from me as I shaily answered with an unconvincing, "Of course, o-of course." Watari gave a small nod that sent a slight calmness through me. He would take care of it. What was I going to do when he left? What would L and I do? He needed to stay. He made everything so much easier and clearer. He... cared. Truly, deeply cared.

Sayu's smile grew contagiously, causing me to grin a bit more. Though, I wasn't sure if it was fake or real.

Watari dropped off my parents at their hotel and then took Sayu and me to the large, old stone house in the middle of a field with rolling green hills and trees. Luckily, Sayu was more interested with all of the castles and ruins hidden within the trees along the main roads that she didn't speak to me much.

But that just meant that I faded. I drifted and didn't exist. I knew I was in the car. I knew where we were and where we were going. I knew when we arrived. But I wasn't there. I was outside of myself in a way. Seeing from a third person's perspective almost. I wasn't sure how else to phrase it for myself. That's what it was.

And I couldn't remembered entering the house. I couldn't remember Sayu's reaction to my home, though I'm sure she was impressed. And I couldn't remember the sound of L's footsteps on the stairs, but I remembered seeing him enter the room with a look on his face that was nothing less that concern and bewilderment.

"Who's this Light?" Sayu questioned, taking my hand again and pulling on my arm. For some reason the movement reminded me of Misa and I shuddered slightly.

"Sayu," I muttered, motioning to L, whose eyes had lit up at the word in recognition. "This is Rue, my roommate."

"Hi," Sayu said excitedly, holding out her hand to L, who hesitantly took it. "Nice to meet you. I'm Light's sister."

L's dark eyes left my face and went to Sayu. "The pleasure is mine," L replied in his voice devoid of emotion, shaking her hand.

Sayu gave a breath of relief, her shoulders visibly relaxing when their grip dropped. "Oh, good. You do speak Japanese. I was worried I'd be left out of the conversations."

I watched L carefully as he shoved his hands back into his jean pockets and rubbed the back of his right leg with his left. I knew he would have stern words for me later, but it's not like my sister would tell my father. Especially if I asked her. We might not have gotten along perfectly, but we were still family.

"It's nice to finally put a face to a name," L continued on. "Light has been talking about you non stop for the last few weeks."

Sayu laughed, her hand covering her mouth as her cheeks went red. "Stop that. Light, you're already embarrassing me."

There was an awkwardness in the air. I was sure that l could feel it in the way his eyes looked over me. But Sayu either didn't sense it, or she ignored it. Instead she set to exploring the house while Watari got her room put together.

"Light," L said in a soft voice the moment we were left alone in the front entree way. "What is she doing here?"

"She invited herself," I answered in an excuse, but I knew it was poor.

L's hand went to his lips, a silence falling between us. Eventually the sound of keys being played pulled L's eyes away from me momentarily as he looked towards the music room. "What if she tells?" he asked, his back fully towards me.

"She won't," I said as strongly back as I could.

"How do you know? I'm not normal, Light. One slip, just one and it'll all be over. Light's roommate is rather odd. He eats only sweets and sits in odd positions," he said in a slightly higher voice to mimic my sister.

"I promise she won't," I pressed again. "And besides, I think you'll like her." L turned at the words, curiosity on his face. "You two share similar interests."

Another silence fell between us as the music continued to play brokenly from an unpracticed hand. At a wrong chord, L visibly flinched and returned his look in the direction of the music room. The chord came again, and then another chord that was similar to the first wrong one.

"Try G# minor," L called out. There was a slight pause in playing before the progression was played again, this time taking the chord that L had suggested and sounding the way the composer had meant it.

There was a laugh. "Thanks!" Sayu called back.

L gave a sigh and glanced back at me. "We'll talk about this when she leaves."

Here we were, putting things off again. Letting them boil down until there was nothing but sticky syrup burning in the pan. That's where we were heading. That's where everything was going. It was going to burn. All of it. Flames.

I was about to answer when my phone rang in my pocket and I swiftly snatched it out. "Adam?" I asked, taking L's arm to pull him closer so that he could hear the call without me putting it on speaker.

"Hey man, we found it," Adam answered excitedly on the other side.

"You found it? You found the fire extinguisher?" I asked, a smile coming to my face.

"The brother is our man. We're taking him in now. I will let you know if he gives us a confession."

"Thanks Adam." I lowered the phone and glanced up at L who had a look of relief on his face. Like this was a weight off of him. But the expression was short lived, as if something else took the place of the solved case. It was most likely me. "That's good news, right?" I questioned L. L simply gave a nod.

"Very good. Thank you for all your help." L nodded. He was so distant. I had never had someone this close to me before and yet so far away.