Written by a-little-blonde-distraction with the love she bears for her Klaroline Sisterwives and her fellow "hardcore" shippers

Klaus and Cami sat on their couch, comfortably relaxing and watching TV together in silence besides the TV's audio set to a low volume. They glanced at each other and smiled before turning back to the TV, Klaus's right arm behind her on the back of the couch and their left hands together, fingers laced. Suddenly, Cami's whole body shook and a she jumped with a jolt as an unexpected and silence piercing sound erupted from her mouth.

"HICCUP!"

They both paused a moment before their gazes slowly met again, both fearful and unsure of what was happening or what was going on.

Klaus sat nervously in a hospital chair beside Cami, who looked smaller and more fragile than ever in her hospital gown and tucked into the hospital bed. Some might say that going to the doctor was extreme given the circumstances, but Klaus would rather be safe than sorry, and he felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach as the doctor reentered the room with a solemn face.

"Bad news," the doctor said, his eyes sad and his tone grave. "Cami has a rare and fatal hiccup disorder that's apparently medically legitimate..."

"What?!" Klaus gasped as Cami inhaled sharply. "How can this be?!"

"Beats me, but it says it right here on this doctor's clipboard that doctors have," the doctor replied, holding up and pointing to the clipboard as he mentioned it before giving the couple a sad look and turning and leaving the couple to be together.

They were alone in silence again before the silence was pierced again by the harrowing and horrid sound.

"HICCUP!"

Klaus didn't know what came over him as a strangled, inhuman sound came out of his mouth and he threw himself on Cami and sobbed, her feeble little arms barely able to circle his shaking, sob-wracked body.

Six months later...

Cami lie on her hospital bed in silence, gazing off into the distance, not really at anything in particular. She was too distracted to see the mess of dirty blonde curls slowly emerging at the edge of her hospital bed and an intent pair of stormy blue eyes focused on her before suddenly there was a loud pop. She glanced over at Klaus and saw a ripped paper bag in his hand and realized it was just another failed attempt to rid themselves of her maligned spasms.

"HICCUP!"

They both sighed, Klaus particularly heavily, and Cami turned to him sadly and saw the frustrated feeling of futility in him and carefully took his hand.

"It's time for me to go, Klausy..."

Klaus heard himself choke up at her affectionate usage of his nickname that he detested and began to ugly sob.

"I will never love again..."

"No, Klaus, you must!" Cami cried, running a hand over his stubbled cheek. "And after an appropriate number of years, you should find someone else. Someone like that busty delivery girl from that one time..." Klaus found himself gulping as he remembered the hot mail attendant Cami was referring to, how her bright blue eyes off-set the baby pink of her bra that was barely visible beneath her khaki uniform shirt that was tied up in the front as a result of the unexpected heat wave. Klaus glanced back at Cami who wasn't giving him the accusatory expression he would've expected, but instead a loving and understanding one as she added, "...and plow her like a cornfield."

Suddenly Cami's body tensed as she began to spasm violently and rapidly.

"HICCUP! HICCUP! HICCUP!" Cami fell back against the the bed, her head falling away from him as the heart monitor beside the bed trilled in a flatline.

"And so Klaus," the kind, soft-spoken reverend that had finished eulogizing said, gazing out to the red-eyed Klaus over Cami's casket, "to honor Cami, you must find that busty delivery girl from that one time... and plow her like a cornfield."

Klaus hung his head, knowing that the reverend was right, that he should honor Cami's dying request, and sighed. Elijah and Kol sat on either side of him, patting his shoulders and murmuring words of encouragement and repeating the reverend's words, Rebekah leaned over Kol to similarly comfort her brother, nodding her head.

An appropriate number of years later...

Klaus sat at his easel, glancing over at the window and the sun that was slowly beginning to set over the horizon before putting his paintbrush to the canvas again. The blues blended into purples which blended into oranges and he sighed wistfully as he dragged the bristles over the course fabric.

Ding dong.

Klaus set the paint brush carefully down on his supply table and crossed to the door, and he felt like he'd been punched in the gut as he gazed out at the occupant on the other side of the door.

"Delivery for Klaus Mikaelson..." the very same busty blonde from years ago smirked up at him flirtatiously through her eyelashes, and Klaus glanced down and realized it was the special French paints he had forgotten he'd ordered years ago but had canceled when Cami was admitted to the hospital. "Well that's your delivery... Do you need help with any other... packages?" she added, and Klaus didn't miss the lingering gaze she gave his groin before her eyes flitted back up to his and bit her lip gently.

In that moment, he knew, glancing at the delivery girl's chest and seeing the "Caroline ;)" printed on her name tag, that it was fate and he turned towards the painting of the dearly departed blonde and kissed his fingertips and pointed to the knowing smile on the wall.

"This one's for you, Cam..." He turned back to the expectant blonde smiling at him and twirling her hair with her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"So where do I sign?" he asked, his voice dropping and growing husky as he ripped open his flannel shirt, buttons flying in every direction. Caroline purred contentedly as Klaus reached for her, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into her luscious blonde locks and lavishing upon her neck. She snaked her hand up his neck until her hand was buried into his short, dirty blonde curls.

She tugged the curls at the nape of his neck a bit and gasped as his reaction was to nip her skin with a soft growl. She yanked his head away from her neck and brought her lips crashing to his, the hand not possessing his curls sliding up his bare chest and pushing him back into the apartment. Klaus reached out and closed the door behind them and he slid both of his hands down her ass clad in a pair of sorry excuse for shorter than short shorts, reaching underneath her and soon she took his cue, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist.

He crossed the room with her, their lips still locked in a violent and passionate duel for supremacy, knocking over his easels and canvases, and blindly reached out towards his supply table. He hurriedly pushed parchment, brushes, paints and jars of water off the surface, the items crashing to the floor and spilling their contents as he set Caroline down in their place. He didn't have a moment to think about the paints and dyes staining the carpet as the vivacious and audacious blonde rid him of his shirt and made quick work of his belt while she alternated dragging her tongue over the feather tattoo on his shoulder and nipping the birds that danced across his skin.

Klaus nearly roared as he felt her tongue and teeth on his skin while her adept fingers opened the clasp of his jeans, and in an adrenaline fueled moment of passion grabbed her shirt and ripped the fabric from her slender form. Before she could accost him for ruining her uniform, he yanked the tempting pink fabric of her bra down and caught a rosy nipple in his mouth and she fell back against the table, gasping as he sent every nerve ablaze.

"I need you so bad," Caroline moaned, writhing in pleasure on the table. "Unwrap that package and deliver it already!"

Klaus paused, his chin resting on the smooth stomach that he'd been lavishing with his tongue and lips, and gave her a wolfish smirk.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, there's only one priority destination for this massive package..." he murmured, pulling down her own shorts and panties before finishing her work and unzipping his jeans and pushing them down his legs. With the denim pooling around his ankles, he let his hand fall to her opening, which was dripping and waiting for him, and he languidly slid his fingers along her lower lips before his thumb found the sensitive nub that made Caroline's back arch and the heels of her feet dig into his bare buttcheeks.

"Do it! Oh god, put the package in the slot!" She moaned as Klaus's thumb circled her button torturously.

"As the delivery woman commands..." Klaus grinned, steadying himself against her entrance before she wiggled her hips, beckoning him further and he sheathed himself deep in her warm, tight depths.

"Oh god, yes, fuck me!" Caroline groaned, Klaus's package stretching her and filling her deliciously, and she wrapped her legs around him tighter to keep him close. Klaus began thrusting, each thrust moving and shaking the table with a creak, and he alternated between lavishing her breasts with his mouth and palming them with his rough, artist hands, tugging her nipples and ripping guttural moans from deep within her.

"Oh god, yes, right there!" Caroline screeched, sitting up in a flash and wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders as his deal hit that perfect destination inside her, her nails digging into his skin. "Don't stop! Oh god, I'm so close..."

"Yes, yes, the package has made it's rigorous journey and it's nearly at it's destination," Klaus gasped, feeling his own climax approaching as Caroline's lips found the tattoo on his shoulder again. "It's nearly at the door, the delivery girl is walking up the sidewalk... she's walking through the gate... she's ringing the doorbell..." he moaned, his hand reaching between them to find the sensitive button again and as he flicked and rubbed the nub, Caroline's gasps turned to moans and soon a pleasured scream. "He's there, he's signing the clipboard and..." Caroline's scream turned into a contented and satisfied moan as her body spasmed, her walls squeezing Klaus's package as she came and he followed her soon after. "The package has been delivered. And right on time."

Caroline giggled and pecked his lips. "So worth springing for overnight shipping."