I watched Duo with a mixture of weariness and trepidation. On the one hand, he was exhausted, unable even to rouse himself enough to walk up the stairs from the car. He had attempted, then promptly fallen on the ground, where I had collected him. His breathing was raspy despite the water I gave him and it sounded like his nasal passages had all but dried up. He needed a shower, but with him unable to stand it was impossible to trust him alone with one. One the other hand, Duo was still very nervous having me very close, and I couldn't guarantee that my stripping him for a bath wouldn't rouse him enough to let him start a fit, and I really didn't want the other boys to wake to Duo's screaming. So, what to do?

Eventually I decided to compromise on taking him down to the jacuzzi. I'd still have to get him out of most of his clothes, but he wouldn't be completely naked. I'd have to manhandle him to get him in, but I wouldn't have to hold him as I would in the shower. The jacuzzi might also let him gain some strength back, so hopefully he could get into clean clothes on his own. It didn't hurt that the jacuzzi was outside, so it was less likely to wake the boys if Duo decided to throw a fit.

Having made this decision, I took Duo directly from the car to back porch. Duo was too tired to even lift his head and left it lolling against my side. His eyes were half closed and he stared at my chest, not even bothering to look around, completely miserable. I took him onto the deck, where he finally managed to look around, even if it was only to look up at the stars.

"What are you doing?" he rasped painfully.

"We're going to take a dip," I quipped in response.

"Don' wanna," he moaned in reply.

"I know. I'll try to make this quick," I told him, trying to convey my sympathy. It was one thing to crack heads with him when he was well, over stupid things. It was another to argue with Duo when he was sick, and I couldn't blame him for wanting to keep his clothes on around me. I could only hope he'd understand my reasons.

Gently, I lowered him to a bench and began to unbutton his shirt. He batted my hands away weakly and attempted to undo the buttons on his own, but couldn't manage it. I gently but firmly moved his hands aside and unbuttoned it myself, then slipped the shirt from his slim shoulders and set it aside. I moved next to his shoes and socks, putting off removing his pants as much as I could. I removed the shoes and socks, set them aside, and was left with nothing more to help me procrastinate. I reached for the buttons on his jeans, but Duo jerked away from my grip.

"No!" he moaned.

"Duo, I have to take them off..."

"I can wear them in!" he protested in a pained whisper.

"You can't. I'm sorry, but it will be nearly impossible to get jeans off of you if you soak them, not to mention uncomfortable. Now, be still," I commanded, giving Duo a mild glare to show him I was serious. Duo pouted and looked almost as though he would cry, turning his head sharply away from me to hide it. I reached out quickly and unsnapped the button on his jeans, pulled down the sipper, then slipped them off his narrow hips. They slithered down his slim legs to pool at his ankles where they became entangled in his feet, so that I had to free each foot individually. Underneath the jeans, Duo was wearing dark blue boxes that extended to his upper thigh, well covering his groin area. I was grateful, for any kind of white briefs would have left him no better than naked when they hit the warm water.

From there, I took Duo's hands and pulled him to his feet, knowing he would rather walk to the tub and keep some space between us in his current condition. As he got to his feet, however, he wobbled, then stumbled and fell against my chest. My arms immediately came up to steady him in what probably looked like an intimate embrace. To Duo, it was far too close, and he shoved himself away from me with a weak growl, almost landing himself on his rear as his body refused to stand without my support. I managed to catch him, of course, and lifted him into my arms, then quickly deposited him into the pool. He shoved away from me again as I lowered him, nervous, I suppose, by his lack of clothing and our close proximity. Whatever the reason, I was in no position to catch him at the time, so when he jerked out of my arms I lost my grip and he slipped from his seat at the edge of the pool into the center, where the water was deeper. There was only an instant where I lost my hold, but his face still managed to hit the water for a moment before I pulled him back up. Still, it caused my heart to skip a beat, and I felt a moment of satisfaction about the precautions I had taken with the hottub and the boys.

"What the hell was that?" I snapped harshly, repositioning him in the seat.

"I don' need 'elp," he protested weakly.

"Obviously you do," I growled back, stomping away from the pool to pick up his clothes and angrily shed my own.

By the time I returned to the pool I had calmed again, and the rest of my foul humor slipped away as I slipped into the hot water in the seat next to Duo. It was gone for only seconds, though, and returned quickly as I saw Duo shift to the far side of his seat, as far away from me as he could get. Had he the strength, I have no doubt he would have moved to a different seat, or gotten out of the pool altogether. I sighed in annoyance.

"Duo, I'm not going to jump you. You don't need to run away from me like that."

"Don' trus' you," Duo rasped, making himself more comfortable in his new position by crouching down so that his chin rested just above the water's surface. He began to breathe through his mouth and nose, trying to get the most steam possible to the sore areas of his body. I reached over and flicked the bubbles on to low, causing the tub to give a dull, quiet hum.

"Why do you fear me?" I wondered quietly. "I've never harmed you or given any reason at all for this kind of fear. So... why such a strong reaction?" I asked, hesitant to admit that I was somewhat hurt. I had never thought of myself as a brute, but Duo acted as though I was one.

"All masters are bad," Duo huffed, sulking.

"All?" I asked pointedly, "Solo was a master, wasn't he?" Duo seemed taken aback by his own words. "Would you have ever gotten to know Solo if you had this kind of an attitude?"

"It's not the same..." Duo defended halfheartedly. "Solo was... he was an exception."

"It is the same, and why can't you make an exception for me then? You're passing up so many opportunities to be happy because of this prejudice you have against masters. I know it's not fair, but..."

"You don't understand," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "It's too late for me," he said, tears springing once again to his eyes. I suddenly felt such a deep pang of sympathy that I reached for him, thoughtlessly, only to be stung when he jerked harshly away from me. I knew I should have expected it, but still it hurt me in a way Duo hadn't before. But I couldn't get mad at him, for he was far more miserable than I was, sitting on the other side of the pool, looking fail, ill, depressed and alone. It was with a deep sense of helplessness that I kept myself from reaching for him again, knowing the results would be the same.

I gave a sigh, deep and heavy, then stood and got out of the pool. When I pulled a towel from the compartment in the side of the Jacuzzi and began to dry off, Duo got nervous.

"H-hey!" Duo protested. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get dressed and fetch your clothes. I'll only be gone a minute, but if you start to feel faint get out. Don't fall asleep in there while I'm gone," I instructed stiffly. I paused, making sure Duo didn't have anything to say, then headed into the house and up the stairs.

In our room, Wufei was awake and out of bed. Usually my comings and goings wouldn't wake him, and even Duo's entrance would only cause him to open and then close one sleepy to assure himself that it was safe. It seemed that Wufei's single-minded purpose extended even to sleeping, and in a place he deemed as safe he had put himself on an iron-clad sleep schedule.

"Where's Duo?" he wondered, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Downstairs, in the Jacuzzi. He was too tired to stand, so I put him in the hottub."

"Do you need help?" he asked.

"No, I'm just getting his clothes from the bathroom," I said as I moved out of his line of sight and began to dress.

"How many more days does he have?" Wufei asked, laying back down.

"Only two more sessions and he'll be finished, but he's wiped out. He'll probably sleep for a week after that."

"Hm," Wufei replied, closing his eyes and smiling. "Duo will probably enjoy that."

"Probably," I responded with a like smile as I went to the bathroom to collect Duo's clothes. By the time I returned, Wufei was already asleep.

Once outside again, I found that Duo had managed to stay awake, just barely. He was still chin deep in the water, his head lolling back now as he gazed at the stars. His gazed flicked toward me as he heard my footsteps approaching, then quickly returned to the sky.

"Come on," I told him, "it's time to go inside."

"Do we have to?" he asked wistfully. "Look how pretty the stars are tonight."

"You can see the stars tomorrow night. Now, can you dress yourself, or do you need help?" I asked, taking his hand and leading him out of the tub. Duo made a face in response.

"I think I can manage it myself."

"Alright," I responded, though I had some doubts as to whether he could actually accomplish this task or not, as I was nearly carrying him into the house. Still, I took him into the medical room's bathroom and set him on the toilet with a towel. "You have ten minutes to get into your clothes before I come back and do it for you," I told him, then rose to give him some privacy.

"Don't bother," he said before I could get out the door.

"What?"

"I can't do it," he replied miserably. "I can't even lift the damn towel."

"Then I'm going to have to help you," I replied carefully.

"Well duh!" Duo snapped, his pride wounded. I rolled my eyes, the only rebuttal I allowed myself at this time, and moved to dry him off. His hair was still up from the hospital, where Sally always ordered it into a bun to keep it out of her instruments, so luckily it was mostly dry. I dried off the rest of his body quickly, just rubbing the water off the parts I could reach without lifting him. Then, remaining professional, I slipped his boxers down his legs and onto the floor.

Duo, meanwhile, remained coiled like a spring, fighting his own instinct to bolt. I could only be awed by the amount of control he was wielding over himself, for only an hour earlier he had shied away from me at a distance, and now he was allowing me to touch him without even clothing between us. I hoped it was because he was trying to trust me, but I knew that it was probably just as much, if not more, because of Duo's complete exhaustion. I wanted to be happy that he was finally letting me get close, but I knew it was probably worse that he was still fighting not to run from me when he was literally exhausted.

It was awkward getting Duo into his underwear, probably more so for him than for me. I could only get them up to his knees without lifting him up, and since he was incapable of standing I had to warp an arm around his waist and lift him while pulling up his boxers with the other. From there it was far easier to get him into the rest of his clothes, possibly because he wasn't quite so shy and flinchy. By the time I finished getting his shirt on he was leaning heavily against my chest, and his eyes were almost closed. I smiled softly, abandoning his wet undergarment on the floor as I pulled him into my arms and carried him upstairs.

It was almost with a sense of sorrow that I deposited him into the bed next to Heero's. This was the closest I had been able to get to the braided boy, and while I was still much closer to the others I enjoyed Duo's company as well, even if it was a challenge. I smiled softly, pushing a loose hair out of his face as I watched him sleep. He really wasn't so bad... when he was sleeping. I sighed, then gently pulled his hair out of the bun so he wouldn't wake up with a crick in his neck, and left. I doubted if Duo would tolerate me gawking at him if he were awake, so I felt it best to remove myself from the temptation.

Back in my own room, minutes later, with Wufei curled contentedly in my arms, I could only puzzle over the mystery that was Duo feel that I had missed something important. But what could I possibly be missing? What string could I pull that would unravel Duo from his self-imposed shell? These questions followed me to sleep, then haunted me even in my dreams.