A/N: As promised, the next chapter. Please let me know what you think of it.
Chapter 9: Images destroyed
"I'll take that as a yes" grinned he and I looked away, willing myself to keep hold of the sword that felt so cold and foreign in my hand. It was so heavy, so large, so utterly wrong. I knew that this would be impossible, right from the start. I was not meant to fight with a sword, but I kept my mouth shut. I would try. I owed them to try.
The oaf first approached Arielle, who had to use both of her hands to keep hold of the sword, but who still managed to grin at the man as if this was the best time she had had in a long time. Figures, what is there not to like in a long, heavy, sharp, clumsy stick used by muggles three centuries ago?
"Your grip is very good lassie!" exclaimed the man, patting Arielle on the back and making her stumble, nearly falling on her own damn sword and cutting of that red mane of a hair she called head. It took all my self-restraint to remain standing where I was, instead of doing what any witch with a shred of self-respect would do, walking out through those doors and blasting away anything that stood in her part. Unfortunately, I was not sensible, and my sister would not allow me to hear the last of it were I truly to do such a "horrendous display of disrespect".
So I stayed where I was, silently and grudgingly watching as the oaf helped Arielle adjust her grip, and then showed her what he called was "an initial swing". She stumbled the first time she did it, the weight of the sword was too much for her, but by her third try she was a pro. I should have known that this would end up as a class where she excelled at, being such a terrible brute.
And there she was, singing away with pure joy on her face as the oaf turned to me. I hated her in that instant, Merlin's beard, I honestly hated her, because I could tell that such a level of skill I could not achieve in a month of practice, let alone in my third try.
It turned out that I was right.
The oaf of a man approached me and frowned instantly as he saw the way I was holding my sword.
"You'll need to hold yer sword with your full fist lassie." Said he and I responded with a frown.
"I am holding it with my full fist" I said, glancing at my hand and noticing that my words were, in fact, true.
"But yer not" said he, scratching the back of his neck in discomfort.
"Yes, yes I am" I argued, lifting my hand and almost cutting off his hand with my sword.
There were yelps from my friends and I lowered the horrible thing to the ground, still holding it.
"Sorry, sorry" I apologised, having no intent to cut off the man's hand, despite my dislike of him.
"Merlin's beard lassie, you ought ta be more careful with your sword, it's not a toy ya know!" exclaimed Gryffindor, but laughed instantly as if this whole thing was very amusing.
"Now drop yer sword lassie" said he and I did as I was told instantly, letting the foul thing fall to the floor with a loud clang. "Now pick it up"
I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. What did he think I was, a house elf?
"Do it" urged he, laughing good humouredly. I wished I could wipe that smile off his face. Permanently.
"Good" praised he and I noticed that my fingers were completely curled around the sword as I picked it up. This position of my fingers was even more alien, even more annoying.
"Now," he said, taking a hold of my hand. In that instance, silence reigned across the room. The oaf didn't seem to notice the tension and I used one of my hands to grab a hold of my wand. Just as he leaned towards me, all four of us had our wands drawn, and we moved in unison. My wand was instantly in his throat, and the oaf froze in his movements. However, I was frozen as well, since I felt a wand pressed to my side, one to my throat and one gentle hand on my wand hand, Melody's wand aimed at Gryffindor.
"Now, now" spoke Arielle, her voice very loud in the room" I suggest that we all slow down and lower our wands. There is no need for them."
Nobody moved at that proposal.
"Rosalind, that is a good suggestion" warned Claudia behind me, hers being the wand in my side.
"I will remove my wand as soon as he removes his hand" I spoke and Gryffindor blinked, before quickly letting go off my hand and taking a step back, holding up his hands in surrender.
"If you touch me again Blood Traitor" I hissed and all eyes were on me at the use of the term "I will skin you alive."
Gryffindor's eyes darkened, but he did not say anything merely nodding. Only after this sign did my friends remove their wands and only after this sign did my sister step away. I did not need to look at them to be able to tell what they were thinking. Melody was surely worried, Clo most likely in deep thought, trying to estimate the probability of me lashing out at the man and Arielle was most surely understanding. Because they knew the reason, Arielle and Melody did. Clo did not have to. Not while she was still this young.
I lowered my wand, and looked away from the man. I did not wish to make eye contact, choosing instead to focus on a point in the wall to my left and allow myself the time to collect my thoughts. This was not the way I wanted this class to go, this amount of information allowed to leak out past my fingers was simply unacceptable.
"May I show you the correct way to perform an initial swing?" asked the oaf and I turned, focusing my eyes on his. His posture had changed significantly, his shoulders were hunched forward, his head held up, his hands tense. He had completely assumed a defensive position, and the distance from which he addressed me reminded me for the second time that day of the manner in which a person handles a rabid animal. His eyes were very dark, and I knew that he was trying to understand what had happened mere moments before. But that was irrelevant. He couldn't possibly understand , no one could unless they had had my life, or, if they had had one similar to it.
"You may," I spoke, my voice carefully cold, distant, guarded "but I have one condition."
"Yes?" asked he, his brows furrowing in perplexion and possibly frustration. Once again, irrelevant.
"From over there. You show me from over there." I spoke, my gaze unrelenting. I would not be the one to look away first.
"Alright." Agreed he, and after a moment or two looked down at his sword, raising it before him, and I mimicked him to the best of my ability. It proved that I had little to no proficiency in holding my sword up properly, and as he swung it down sharply and briskly I understood that this would only cause embarrassment on my part. I could not mimic his movement, but as they all stared at me expectantly I swung the sword down, losing my grip and sending it flying across the room.
I hissed out in annoyance, and pulled out my wand, only to have it fly straight from my palm. Time seemed to come to a standstill once again in the room as I looked up, only to see Gryffindor holding my wand in that gigantic hand of his.
"Give me back my wand" I said, as calmly and as collectedly as I could. Admittedly, it wasn't all that collected or calm, instead it was more of a hiss than anything else.
"Pick up your sword" responded he, ignoring my demand.
I narrowed my eyes at him and stretched out my hand, focusing and taking a deep breath. "Accio wand!"
The wand shuddered feebly in his hand, but Gryffindor still held it tightly. I clenched my teeth, letting out a hissing breath. I had gotten behind on learning to use wandless magic as it seemed.
"That was very good lassie" spoke Gryffindor, seemingly impressed. "If I had not cast a protective charm your wand would already be in your hands. But you're still going to pick your sword up."
I took one more deep, calming breath, and stalked past him, grasping the hilt of my sword and returning to my previous position.
"Again" spoke the man, repeating the gesture himself, and having me repeat it in turn as well. This time, luckily, the sword was still in my hand, but that was about it as for the improvement I had made.
After a couple of more attempts at repeating the swing, I was left to my own devices as Gryffindor had moved on from me to teach my sister and Claudia, both of which seemed very well versed in swinging those stupid iron sticks about. I was the only one who seemed to be unable to repeat even the most simple of moves, and by the end of the lesson, I hated the Weapons class with all my heart. The only thing I had gained from it was dislike of the oaf on my part, and reserved behaviour on his.
As for the next few lessons we had, I held little real interest for them. Flying was torturous because the brooms were horribly slow, and as much as we tried, we couldn't avoid the hexes the oaf sent our way. Clo also had a fear of heights, and I could have sworn she was on the verge of crying from misery at the end of the lesson. The lunch was a quiet affair as well, all of us too tired to actually make any real conversation, and after it followed the class I had been looking forward to the entire length of the horrible day.
As the Defence against the Dark Arts class started, we were presented with a dummy sporting a death eater mask. Our task was to eliminate twenty of these without allowing them to cross a certain line in the room. It seemed simple enough, and as Claudia stepped forward, being the first one called out, and as she stupefied the first dummy and wanted to do the same to the second one, for some reason, the dummy replicated before our eyes, and before she could react, Claudia had let the first dummy past the line.
"Oh yes lassies, forgot to mention it" laughed Gryffindor at the baffled expression on Clo's face. "If you don't put in enough power, that is to say , if you cast a spell that would not work in real life your opponent will multiply."
My sister did better than Clo, managing to destroy six dummies before one used his companion as a decoy, crossing the line.
Arielle was very good, that much I had to say. She had blasted away ten dummies before her own spell backfired as the flash from the spell blinded her momentarily, two dummies passed the line.
Finally, it was my turn. I stepped forward confidently standing sideways, my head turned so that I faced the dummies, my hand raising on its own, my wand raised to the level of my neck and then pointed downwards slightly. This was my standard duelling stance, as I decided to approach this matter with utmost seriousness.
As the first dummy moved forward I smirked, clearly saying "Stupefy!"
The spell was a direct hit. The dummy shuddered and fell to the floor disassembling in the process. The second one seemed more careful, if dummies could be careful, and as it moved forward I hissed "Incendio!"
The dummy went up in flames, as the other one tried to use this as a decoy I smirked in response "Impedimenta!".
"Harrundo", "Stupefy", "Contralectus", "Incarcerus!" "Confundo" "Petrificus Totalus!" "Dedito Totalum!", spell after spell, the dummies fell long before they could reach the line. But as I reached my fifteenth opponent, I got careless, and as I destroyed one of the dummies the other lunged at me from the side. I reacted immediately exclaiming "Bombarda!" but I had failed to notice that another doll had used this chance to get over the line.
I was good, the best out of all four of us, but as the class progressed, the only thing I could feel was emptiness. I was so hollow.
This may be because I noticed the way Arielle, Claudia and Melody behaved, or rather the manner in which they talked with Gryffindor. They never got angry, they were never frustrated, and as the class progressed and as we were taught more and more spells, as we trained, they seemed to be in higher and higher spirits.
I sat down on the floor in the corner of the room and I observed the scene before me. Claudia and Arielle were mock duelling, trying out the binding spells on each other, their laughter ringing through the air. Melody was currently being taught how to use the Incarecrous hex to its full potential. She had such a brilliant smile on her face, she appeared so happy. They all did. They all got along so well with that oaf, they all liked him.
I was the only one left out.
They all laughed, but all I could feel was the hollowness in my chest. I didn't belong here. I didn't belong in this environment. I was supposed to be alone, it was just the way things were. And I was thankful for this realization. It reminded me that I was only here to get power, I only needed to win. I did not need love, I did not need friendship. I only needed to have revenge, I only needed to protect Melody. That was all that ever mattered. Caring was not an advantage.
October had begun today, I noted as I walked slowly through the stone hall of the trunk. The weather was becoming gloomier by the day, and there was no doubt that the rain would start soon. We would only waste a couple of hours in this trunk, but it would feel like two months. By that time, Christmas would have been at our doorsteps, we'd be preparing for the celebration, the snow would have fallen. And the Day would have been long gone.
But this time was not real. The coldness that I felt seeping through the cracks of these old walls was not real, no matter the semblance to the real cold that would soon be felt in that castle. Despite knowing this, I still huddled closer in my jacket, grateful for the bewitched material that was always so warm. I had pulled my hair up for this class, and I raised my jacket's collar so that the warm fabric resided over my neck as well.
I took out my wand, muttering "Ostendo Semita!" under my breath as I encountered a crossroad of sorts. I was grateful for the handy little charm Clo had taught me mere minutes before as I took the path to the right, following the magical guiding.
My mentor had decided that I had to find my own way to his office, and as my heels clacked on the marble floor of the dimly lit corridor, I wondered what this lesson would be like. It was my understanding that this class was not the typical kind, instead I would be having a "private conversation with my mentor" as Rowena had put it when Clo had inquired of this matter in the Charms class.
There is no use in worrying, I decided as the faint glow of the spell ended in front of large oak doors, whose only light seemed to be provided from two silver candles floating on each of the sides. The door frame was made of pure silver, and as I reached for the knocker of the doors, I knew that it was made of the same material. It was not elaborate in design, merely with a serpent shape displayed coiling around the middle of the metal surface. I watched disinterestedly as my fingers, eerily pale at the dim lighting, curled around the metal surface, raising it slightly and letting it fall to the wooden surface, repeating the action twice.
"Enter" I heard a voice say from behind the heavy oak and I found the doors opening slightly before my eyes mere second later.
I tucked away my wand in a hidden pocket on the inside of my jacket, stepping through the threshold of the office and I made a couple of steps inside, before coming to a stop in front of an old, dark brown desk . This room was slightly better lit, and I noticed that most of the light was coming from the fire with emerald flames, as if it were being used for floo travel, situated in an old light grey stone fireplace. I allowed my eyes to briefly search the room and I found that it was much to my taste.
There was a dark green velvet couch to my left, turned slightly to face the fire but also tucked away in the corner. Beside it was a dark brown cabinet, its wood matching that of the desk in front of which I had come to a stop. The cabinet was filled with all sorts of magical items, some of which I found completely unfamiliar, some of which I had only seen in pictures, and some of which were very familiar, and very dark. On the other end of the room was the aforementioned desk, and behind it stood a tall bookshelf, reaching up to the ceiling and as my eyes trailed its length I lost sight of the books in the darkness of the ceiling.
I finally focused on the figure sitting opposite me, and as our eyes met, I recognised that animosity gain. Slytherin was sitting with his back leaning on the back of the chair, his hands resting on the chair lightly, I would have said carelessly, were it not for the wand that he played with in his left hand. He lowered his eyes at that contact, focusing on the wand in his hand.
"Have a seat" he said, waving his right hand casually and having one of the dark green velvet chairs move backwards.
I raised an eyebrow at that, but moved none the less, doing my best to ignore the obvious animosity from my mentor.
I sat down lightly, folding my hands in my lap and straightening my back.
It was a moment or two before Slytherin spoke again, never raising his eyes from his wand.
"I trust that you understand the purpose of this class Miss Kersey" he said, obviously asking for confirmation.
"I do sir." I responded, keeping my eyes on his frame.
"Excellent." Spoke he and stopped at that, twirling his wand a couple of more times. "We shall discuss a matter of most seriousness today Miss Kersey" and at that, finally, he raised his old grey eyes, meeting my light blue ones. "and a matter of most delicacy."
There was a another moment of silence, but this time brimming with tension. He was trying to pressure me, that much I could tell. His purpose was, most likely, my honesty.
"What is your opinion, Miss Kersey" asked he, narrowing his eyes at me as he said the last few words, "on blood purity?"
Two could play this game, I decided, answering :" I am dreadfully sorry sir, but I do not understand what you are referring to. If you could be as kind as to elaborate?"
Slytherin did not seem pleased at all with my response, and a sardonic smile appeared on his face as he answered. "Come now Miss Kersey, I'm sure you have heard of the term. You cannot lie to me child, I would have thought you knew that."
"Oh that was not my intention sir, not in the least." I responded, providing an identical smile "I was merely confused whether you were referring to the term used by, if you would excuse me, your crazed descendant, as an excuse for mindless killings of muggle borns, half bloods and muggles," at this point I could read real anger in his eyes, and I revelled in it "or if you were referring to the term used for depicting one's social status in the magical community." I finished, flashing him a brilliant smile.
"Both" he hissed, his fingers clenching around his wand.
"For the first meaning, I will tell you honestly Professor," I spoke, looking down for a moment to consider the best choice of words to portray my sentiments "that I abhor it."
I focused my gaze on his and I noticed a sliver of surprise in them "Surely you can understand Professor, this idea took away my family, that man killed my mother, murdered my father, took away the childhood my sister could have had, killed Arielle's unborn brother, because they did not join him, because they were powerful and did not take on their shackles voluntarily. I know of no greater pleasure than ridding the world of that vile concept and all of the vermin that represent it."
I looked down and noticed that my hands had curled into fists and I willed them to unclench, focusing on my breathing and calming myself down as much as I could. It was not good to allow myself to be overwhelmed by my anger, or by my thirst for blood. No, I needed a cool head for this.
"As for the second meaning" I spoke, looking up and seeing that the man was observing me with curiosity, most of his hostility gone. "It is merely a term one uses to show his power in the society. I do not have an unfavourable opinion of muggle borns and halfbloods. Blood is not a term through which I form judgements on people."
"Interesting" said the man, his eyes slightly narrowed "and yet you used the term "Blood Traitor" to insult Godric earlier today, did you not?"
"I did" I responded, nodding once and narrowing my eyes in turn as well. "But I used it because of only one reason. I knew it to be an insult that would surely hurt him the most. It had no connection to the matter of blood. If you want proof you need only look at the blood of Arielle Hayes and Claudia Beck. They are a halfblood and a muggle born respectively and yet I consider them one of my best friends. I assure you, were they to come to harm, I would stop at nothing to help them."
There was another moment of silence and I added "Besides, it fits the image you have of me rather well does it not?"
"Image, miss Kersey?" repeated the man, although I was sure that he knew what I was talking about.
"Yes sir." I responded, smirking. "I am aware that you detest me, that I disgust you. But that is just as well. I do not need you to like me, I do not need you to counsel me or guide me. I have always been fine on my own."
He was silent at that, merely observing me with interest. "It seems I was wrong about you Miss Kersey." Spoke he "and for my behaviour, I apologize."
If my upbringing had been any less thorough, I surely would have gaped at the man. Being who I was, I allowed my surprise to show merely in my eyes, while my face remained carefully composed. For a man such as Salazar Slytherin to apologise, a rare sight indeed.
"Apology accepted" I managed, my voice hinting my surprise just barely.
"It is indeed true that I found you disagreeable to start with, but I admit now that my opinion may have been formed too… quickly." As he said that I used this time to scrutinize him, from his countenance to his posture. But try as I might, I could not find a sign of a lie in his words. This man was strangely honest. "And if you find it possible, I wish we start over in our consideration of each other."
"That would be… agreeable." I said, inclining my head in a sign of approval. We stayed silent for another moment, both scrutinising the other. However, it seemed that there was no animosity from the side of my mentor this time. As if I had somehow changed his opinion of me with this conversation. I was slightly curious as to how I had done that, but I decided to let it go as he spoke again.
"If that is so… Rosalind" he said, using my name carefully, asking subtly for my permission to use my first name, and as I nodded once he continued "than you may be inclined to listen to advice from an old man who has seen much evil, and lived long enough to do much of it himself."
His eyes had taken on a dark shade, and he leaned forward, setting his wand lightly on the surface of the desk before him, watching it intently for a moment before sitting up straight in his chair and fixing a penetrating stare on me.
I must admit that I was intrigued by his words, and I had been observing him with curiosity, but as he fixed that stare on me, I suddenly felt so very exposed.
My eyes instinctively left his face and focused on my hands in my lap. It was not favourable to allow the man insight into my thoughts or my motives. They were best kept private, away from prying eyes such as his.
"It has come to my attention that you have put a Slytherin boy into the hospital wing of the Hogwarts school because he had aimed his wand at your sister. Is this information correct?" asked he, but from his tone of voice it was clear that he knew the information he offered was indeed correct, most likely having received it from Helga Hufflepuff.
"It is sir, and I take no shame in it." I spoke through my teeth, looking up. If he thought that I'd be ashamed of the fact that a boy was in the hospital wing for a week because he aimed his wand at my sister, or that I had any regret considering the action, he was very wrong. My only regret was not putting the boy in the hospital wing for two weeks, as I had intended. My sister would not come to harm, I'd make sure of it. Any means necessary.
"I did not suggest taking shame in it, rather it was a very… sisterly thing to do" spoke he, making a slight pause, as if he was considering the appropriate term for the action. "But what I do suggest, is that you are meddling with things I fear you do not understand."
"Such as?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him, not too thrilled with the tone of his voice. It seemed to me that he was patronising me, that he was looking down on me.
"Hate child. War, revenge, force." Spoke he, counting the terms as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Do understand Rosalind, you have an affinity towards darkness, you naturally reach for it. But that is very dangerous, because once, soon, the darkness will reach back, and when you two meet, it will take a hold of you, you will lose your sense of self and you shall become one. Its wishes shall become yours, your desires and its will mix, becoming one. And there will be no more Rosalind Kersey, there will only be her shell."
I was shaken by his words, and I looked away from him. They were true, and I had felt it before, I had known from a long time ago that I was losing control, slowly, bit by bit. But steadily.
"Such ominous words professor" I spoke, putting up my walls, noticing that he had managed to lower them slightly. "But I assure you that I am fine. I am the one in control, and the darkness in me, for I shall not deny its existence, is completely submissive."
"Is it?" asked he, raising an eyebrow and smirking, obviously seeing through my bluff. "Because I do not believe you. But, were it to truly be so, were it to be that you are right and not I, I am sincerely happy for you, for you will be able to do what I had not."
"And what would that be?" I asked, curious as to what the great Salazar Slytherin had not been able to do.
"Achieving your goal through the means of darkness…" he said and made a pause that chilled me to the bone "without it destroying the very thing you value the most."
Melody's laughing face flashed in front of my eyes and I clenched my fists. No. Not her. Anyone but her, anything but her.
"But it still gave you power" I spoke, a note of desperation seeping into my voice.
"Yes, it gave me power indeed. I was the most powerful dark wizard of my time, of all times as I understand it. But understand child, my original reason, the thing I wanted to protect was long gone by that time, long destroyed. Among other things, I destroyed myself in the process. Hate consumed me, darkness reigned in my mind."
"I do not care about myself" I spoke, annoyed that he would take me into consideration. I was irrelevant here. If my life being extinguished meant that my sister could live, I would make the trade in a second.
"And what exactly" spoke Salazar, leaning forward, as if he were leading a rather casual, but pleasant conversation and not discussing my impending doom, "do you think your demise would do to your sister?"
I looked away from that, letting out a hissing breath. I knew that this was not a solution, I knew my sister would be destroyed completely by this. But I could think of no other way to save her.
"But…." Spoke he, and I looked up to see him smiling slightly "the darkness is not untameable. If I had listened to Helga, if I had been more honest with Godric, if I had understood what Rowena was telling me, if I…" he stopped suddenly at that, his eyes turning hard, impossible to read.
"Melody may yet save you, Arielle and Claudia may be your life line. Allow yourself to have friends, allow yourself to trust, and you may be saved. That is all for today, I will see you in your Dark Arts lesson." Spoke he, taking his wand and looking down at it, tracing its length , his eyes glazing over.
I stood up, silently leaving the room with a silent "Thank you sir" that I was sure he had not heard.
He must have lost someone, I concluded, someone very important.
But I would not, not my sister. Not my friends. I would not lose to the darkness. I would triumph over it, and I would use it.
I huddled into my jacket again, noticing that it had grown colder. It was always so cold these days. Maybe it was the sky itself foretelling the years to follow.