*Light's POV*
"Times have changed and continue to change. What has not changed is our role in society. Protect and serve. We are the 24/7 helpline and defense for our streets," I said in the clearest English that I could project out towards the audience. The tie around my neck made my uniform feel stuffy, but I had finally done it. I was finally here. I had graduated. With these last few words, I'd be free. I'd be out of school. I wouldn't have to work out every few days for physical training. Hopefully L wouldn't make me run five miles like my instructor had every class period.
L... No. I couldn't afford that distraction right now.
"With that in mind, let's welcome our new officers to our family, congratulate them on a job well done and assist them into becoming officers we would want as our backups and future leaders. Thank you."
There was clapping and I gave a small nod before returning to my seat. One of the sergeants stood and announced the ending of the ceremony and the class all left the room while families and friends applauded before following out after us.
"That was so boring," Sayu grumbled as she met up with me outside of the room we had previously been in.
"Stop that, Sayu," my mother scolded as she grabbed me up in a hug.
"But I couldn't understand any of it," Sayu shot back.
"Are you a kid, or a teenager," I teased as I was released from my mom. "Stop acting like a little kid." I ruffled her hair and she shoved my hand away with a laugh.
"We've got to get back to the hotel so that we can pack. Our flight is early," my father reminded for the upteenth time. It was like he couldn't stand to be here any longer than what he had to. But I couldn't blame him. The last time he had been to this country, we had lost L. The last time we were here, people died.
What was I doing? L didn't mean what he said and I had stepped over the line. I needed to apologise. I really needed to before I left. Maybe I shouldn't be leaving. I should really be trying to work this out with him.
"You're still going to come home with us, right?" Sayu asked sweetly, taking her normal place on my arm. For some reason, be it family relations or not, Sayu was easier to deal with than Misa was. It was odd how much of the same physical touching that Sayu did that was similar to Misa. But they didn't bother me.
"Of course. I need a break from school and I got work off for the next week," I replied kindly.
"Yay!" Sayu laughed, smiling up at me. How was she always so happy? It was a nice change to the normal atmosphere that I was usually surrounded in, but I couldn't understand what made her so happy. "Hey, daddy, could I go with Light while he packs and then come back?"
"You have to pack your own things Sayu," my father replied in a bored tone. It wasn't lost on me how much he didn't care for the idea. I knew he was only here because my mother forced him to be. For a man who was so set on his children being the best in their education, he didn't give much of a care to the actual success that was achieved. I felt like I had achieved more praise from working the Kira case with him than I did for finishing up school and becoming part of law enforcement like he had always wanted for me.
"But dad-"
"Don't argue with your father please," my mother cut in, causing Sayu's smile to falter slightly before she sighed and gave a nod in agreement.
"Don't worry. I'm all yours for a week," I assured, her smile coming back. It was so nice to see her smile. It was so nice to be with her. It was a break from everything. And I did feel normal around her. I didn't feel like she could see through me like L did.
"You better be," she threatened with a sugary air to her voice.
The drive home was lonely and quiet. It was the most silence I think I had ever sat in before without a migraine for company. And the air in the house wasn't much better. Beside the front door was a single suitcase of Watari's things already packed and ready to leave. As for my things, I'm sure he left them for me to get myself, either from Sayu's persuasion or of her own accord, to make it so that L and I would somehow talk.
As my foot took the first step leading upwards, Sayu's words came to the forefront of my mind.
"You better apologise and give the ring back. I want to come back for the wedding."
She was too smart for her own good. She knew exactly what i should be doing. It was almost like she was a female Watari. She was someone far beyond her years who knew a thing or two about life, though I couldn't say if she had actually experienced any at all outside of highschool.
In front of the bedroom door, that was shining with a halo from the light inside of the room, rested a suitcase for me. Ready to be packed, ready for me to take it and go. Should I even dare come back if I leave?
I picked up the luggage that felt emotionally heavier than it should have and opened the door.
At his desk was L, who sat in his odd position. The computer was on, though it looked like it hadn't been used other than intaking the password the L had entered who knows how long ago.
He had a single piece of strawberry cake beside him on the desk, untouched. The sight struck me a bit. Had I hurt him that much that he wouldn't even eat his favorite cake?
There was an extreme air of ignoring that surrounded him as if he were purposefully trying to make sure I knew he wasn't going to give me the light of day. He didn't even glance up from his hands that were fidgeting as I began to pack up my things.
I don't have to go, L. Stop me. Call me back. Make me stay with you. I can't stay on my own. I need to know that you want me.
The ring felt heavy in my uniform breast pocket. I glanced behind me slightly to see L unchanging from his position, waiting. Waiting for something. Was he waiting for me? Waiting for me to speak. Waiting for me to take action.
L, I can't read your mind. Please tell me what you want!
I moved from my closet and to the bathroom to gather up the last few things that I needed. With my suit case closed, and me changed from my uniform to my normal suit and tie that was just as restricting, I left the bathroom. But my feet stopped me before I could make it to the door.
If there was a chance to do something, it was now. If there was a place to say something, it was now. If there was a time to apologize, it was now. I just needed to suck up my pride. I just needed to admit that I did wrong. Why couldn't I admit that?
He knew my flaws. He knew I was in no way perfect, so why did I continue to act like I was around him?
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Just a deep sigh.
Just fucking say something! Anything!
With a shaky step, I headed for the door, closing it behind me and raced for the stairs. Maybe the further away from L I got, the better I would feel. It was a blatant lie, but maybe I could convince myself to believe it.
Watari was already waiting at the door, his own luggage in hand and waiting for me. He opened the door and stepped out. I followed, but stopped in the doorway, looking back towards the stairs.
There was still a chance. I could fix this. I just had to run backup those stairs. I just had to open that door and say those two words. Ok. Maybe five words. I'm sorry. I love you. That's all it would take.
"Did you forget something?" Watari called out to me.
I turned back to see him waiting at the car. I shook my head and closed the door behind me.
Home. It looked the same. It felt the same. It smelled the same. It was nice to be back in a place so familiar. A place I had grown up. I glanced around the entry way for a moment before Sayu pushed into the house, moving me out of the way. She shot me a grin and disappeared into the living room, where the TV was immediately turned on.
"Sayu, come get your stuff!" my father ordered as he too entered the house, holding her bag as well as his.
"Ok, ok,"Sayu sighed.
"Light, why don't you go put your things upstairs?" my mother suggested kindly. "I'll get some dinner going."
"Right." Both Sayu and I took our respective items and lugged them up the stairs to our rooms. I closed the door behind me and sighed deeply as I placed my suitcase on my bed. There was a knock on my door before Sayu opened it and came in. "Yes?" I asked softly.
She closed the door behind her and then ran and flopped onto my bed, causing the suitcase to tumble onto the floor. "Sorry," she laughed.
"What do you need, short stuff?" I asked as I picked my suitcase back up.
"I'm not that short anymore!" she grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm almost as tall as you."
I rolled my eyes with a smile and took a seat beside her on my bed. It had been a while since we had done this. Just sat side by side and talked. Far before the death note, though I was sure that did a lot to strengthen the distance between us.
"Did you talk to him?" Sayu questioned, pulling one of my pillows to her and hugging it to her chest. I closed my eyes and fell backwards and onto my bed. There was a huff of air beside me and I opened my eyes to a pillow coming at my face. I pulled the pillow off of my face and sighed at Sayu's frown. "You didn't, did you? You just left!"
I couldn't reply. My gut pained me with guilt. It had been since I got on that plane. The idea that I hadn't said a word made me sick. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Not a word. Damn it.
"You jerk," Sayu continued.
"I know," I mumbled softly. "I know. I'll make it up to him. Somehow."
"How?" Sayu demanded, hitting me with another pillow. "You can't just buy flowers and chocolates. This'll take more than an apology now, you idiot."
"Are you just going to tell me how horrible I am the rest of this trip?" I grumbled, just letting the pillow stay over my face and muffle my voice. Maybe it would suffocate me and let me escape from this situation.
"Maybe I will. Damn it, Light."
"Language," I scolded, pulling the pillow down far enough to see her. She returned my look with a skeptical expression of her own.
"You have no say at the moment."
"Ok," I sighed, pulling the pillow al the way off my face. "What should I do?"
"How am I supposed to know?" Sayu demanded with a laugh. "I've never had a boyfriend before."
"Neither have I!" I shot back with a weak smile. "All of this is new to me." She gave a laugh and lied next to me so we were both staring at my ceiling. "So, help out your brother. What would you want your boyfriend to do to make it up to you?"
"If I were Rue, then..." Sayu trailed off. I glanced over at her before returning my gaze to the ceiling at her scrunched up her nose, which meant she was thinking. "An apology."
"Obviously," I started with a shrug. "But then what, smart one?"
"Who's the top student in Japan?" Sayu challenged, trying to hit me with my pillow again. I held my hands up and blocked the attack with a laugh. I hadn't felt this free in a long time. I felt normal here. Like I wasn't some mass murderer that needed to be on a leash. "I would want to punch you in the face and then I would probably cry and throw myself on you."
"What?" I asked, confused. "Why?"
"Because I have been conditioned by media and that is how I, as a woman in love, should react if my man does something wrong to me."
I looked over at her, eyebrows furrowed, and she laughed. "That is not something that Rue would do." The word felt weird as it left my lips. His name wasn't Rue. He was L. He was my L. My Lawliet. "I'm so lost, Sayu."
"Maybe... Just get him flowers and chocolates. What do I know?"
I rolled my eyes with a chuckle. "You are not much of a help."
"I didn't say I was smart!"
"Dinner!" My mom's muffled voice called from downstairs.
I sat up and ran my hand through my hair. "Well, I have some time to figure it out. We'll talk more after dinner." I got to my feet and went to the door, but the sound of my sister didn't follow. I glanced over my shoulder, my hand hovering over the door knob. "You coming?"
"Light, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Sayu," I nodded, lowering my hand, turning to her.
"Kids, hurry up!" came my mother's voice again.
But the next words made me forget about dinner. About the jitters from the flight that were still leaving my body, about my fight with L.
"Are you Kira?"
I couldn't breathe as the air was stripped from my lungs, causing my blood to turn icy. My heart began racing, I could feel it pounding in my rib cage. And suddenly, all I could see was Sayu. Everything else fell away. I no longer heard cars speeding down the street. I no longer smelt the rice downstairs. I no longer could feel the floor beneath my feet.
"Wh-What?" I asked, stumbling over my words. It was like my tongue had ran away with my mind. It had left me alone to try to listen to my heart, my lungs, my gut some other different part of me that wouldn't work without my brain. "Sayu?"
"I just heard you guys yelling when you were fighting," Sayu replied calmly, picking some fuzz from my bed spread. "I heard you say something about being Kira."
And my head all snapped back to me. It made me dizzy. It made my knees go weak beneath me, but somehow I stayed upright and didn't sway. A smile covered my lips and I shakily ran a hand through my hair. "Oh," I laughed, calling Sayu's dark eyes back to my face. Her eyebrows rose in question. "No, I was stressed out because I was trying to work the Kira case from so far away while trying to take my finals. You must have misheard." She didn't look convinced. What could I do to make her believe. I wasn't sure what she would do with the information if she did figure out that I was Kira. That that was a past me. "Come on, Sayu. I'm your big brother. You know me."
"You're right," she said, a grin covering her face. "Sorry. I misheard." She got to her feet and moved over to me with a bounce in her step. "Let's go eat."
She opened my bedroom door and left. I stood there, looking after her. Something strong was building in my chest. Something that wanted her dead. Something that knew that if she thought about it further she would figure it out. I knew she was smart. She didn't have the brains for math problems, but she didn't need to know math to put two and two together.
But I couldn't kill her. I would never, ever lay a hand on her. She was my sister. I loved her. I wasn't even sure why the thought had crossed my mind. And I doubted that I could ever actually kill someone with my own hands. I was just worried. That's all it was. Worry that somehow she would find out and tell someone.
"Light!" my mother called again.
The week passed by easily enough. Sayu didn't ask anymore on the subject and for that I was grateful. I went to work with my dad once or twice to help out, but there was really nothing new for me to learn about the case, other than they were still killing innocents, which meant people that the unsub knew and didn't like. But L would have already figured that out. That would have been some of his first thoughts.
L... I hadn't heard anything from him or about him from Watari. I hadn't expected to, but I was worried. Extremely worried about him. Especially with his past. The memory of seeing his scars from the first time was still bright in my memory. And I wasn't sure how easy it would be to trigger that again.
"Light," came my mother's voice from the bottom of the stairs. I got up from my bed where I had been staring at the ceiling and went to my door. I opened it to see her climbing the stairs with a small slip of paper in her hand.
"Yeah?" I questioned.
"Dear, would you mind taking this check to the bank for me? I would, but it closes soon and I need to have dinner ready for when your father gets home," she said sweetly, kindness sparkling in her eyes.
"Of course," I replied. I had nothing else better to do. I might as well help out. Especially if I was just living off of them and not helping much. My family hadn't even let me set the table to help out. It was like they were afraid of inconveniencing me.
"Thank you."
I took the check from her hand and pulled my wallet from my back pocket to place the paper in. I followed her down the stairs and grabbed my shoes by the front door before heading from the house.
The bank wasn't far. Just a few blocks. A ten minute walk at first. And I had been meaning to finish a book that I had been listening to anyways. I pulled my phone from my pocket and unwound the earphones from around it, placing them in my ears and turning on the book.
"I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life," came Salinger's written words in my ear.
The walk was nice. It was a decent temperature outside, though it was getting closer to winter. And my legs needed the stretch. And the line for the desk wasn't that long either.
I paused my book and pulled on of my earphones out so that when the clerk spoke to me, I could hear them. A few minutes passed and I was finally the next one up, when all of a sudden there was a loud shout.
"Hey!"
I turned back to see who the voice belonged to and jumped at the sound of a gunshot. There were screams as people scattered, and a security guard fell to the ground, his uniform turning a red color.
"I wanna see hands in the air. Now!" a second voice ordered, his gun pointed at the clerks, but he stayed by the front door to watch for the police. He was a little larger, but was still fit.
My eyes flickered around the room and caught the site of three masked men. Each had a gun in hand and one was making his way up to the front desks and putting bags on the counter. "Put the money in the bags, do you understand?" the third and final voice asked.
No one moved or spoke.
"Do you understand?!"
"Yes," the frightened clerk spit out, her hands trembling in the air.
"Try to trigger any alarm and you're dead," the third and tallest one of the three said, his gun also pointed at the clerks.
The first voice though, they had a much smaller and curved frame and had eyes on everyone in the bank. And the ends of their hair could be seen under their ski mask. It was a woman. There were several couples huddled together including an elderly couple. And there was a crying baby in a stroller with a mother, standing in front of it protectively.
"Move it!" The tallest ordered and all of the clerks jumped into action, beginning to fill the bags with the money they had in their stations.
"Get down!" the woman yelled, stepping closer to everyone. "If I see your eyes, I will shoot."
I found myself obeying, dropping to my knees and flattening myself ace first onto the floor.. But I wasn't sure what else to do in this situation than to obey.
"One minute and forty-eight seconds," the woman continued, glancing at the watch on her wrist.
They had been planning this. They had scouted it out. They knew how long it would take for the police to respond if the gunshots were heard.
"Vault key," the fatter's voice demanded.
"I'll take you to it," another female voice said, one of the clerks.
"Maybe we can run away before she shoots us," a deeper voice said in English.
"Try that and I will splatter the wall with your wives head," the first answered in were small whimpers from another woman. Most likely the wife.
She knew another language.
I was doing my best to compile all the information I was learning into my head, but my heart was speeding away in my chest as adrenaline filled my body. And this carpet smelled like feet. It was horribly distracting. And there was something else. A vibrating in my pocket.
My phone was ringing. Maybe it was my mom. Maybe the robbery was already on the news, if they had only had two minutes to finish the robbery. But it kept ringing. As soon as one cycle finished, it rang again, buzzing against my leg.
I glanced up slightly as footsteps walked past me and away from me. "30 seconds," the female called out. And the other was still watching the door as the distant sound of sirens could be heard.
This was my chance. I reached over to my headphones and hit the answer button. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, maybe a soft, I'm alright. I wasn't sure. But the voice that came into my ear was not one that I expected.
"I'm trying to hack into the security cameras now. Give me just a few. You know morse code, right?" L asked. A shot of shock and relief filled me. How did he know? "You can tap out your answers to me once I get the cameras up on my computer, asshole. And Watari called me after your mother frantically called your father."
's all I wanted to say. He was still mad at me. How could I blame him?
"Almost there," L continued in my ear. It was almost like that party. Like being back in that theater. Voices in my head and voices around me. I didn't like it. "Ok. I'm in. One person dead." Dead? Had they really killed the security guard? "Are there more hostages behind the desks?"
Yes. What was yes? It didn't help that L was speaking in English. God. I had to translate it from English into Japanese, back to English and then to morse code? L, work with me.
Long, short, long, long, pause, short, pause, short, short, short, was tapped out with my index finger on the ground.
"Other hand Light. I don't have a camera under the counter."
My left hand. God damn it. Yes, was tapped out again and there was a hum of acknowledgement.
"You're tapping in Japanese." I rolled my eyes at the comment. "And how many of them are there?" L asked, now in Japanese so I didn't have as much to focus on.
God. This was going to kill me before they did. What was it? Long, short, short... No. Fuck.
"We have trouble. Black and white!" the one at the door yelled back to the other two.
"The side door," the taller, third voice informed. I could hear the shuffling of the bags that had been filled with money and I glanced over to see the taller man lifting them up and onto his shoulder, while the woman kept pacing between the two men.
The sirens were much louder now, but L had fallen silent in my ear. So silent that I thought he might of hung up. So, when he spoke again, it startled me slightly.
"Are there only three of them?" he questioned. Yes, I tapped out. "Interesting."
There were more footsteps and I could see the larger man who had been at the door walk by me, and begin helping the taller.
"Everyone's eyes down!" the woman instructed, her gun hand steady as she walked the line of us again. "Count to a hundred. Don't even think about getting up."
All was silent for a moment save for the baby crying and I was about to move when L's voice spoke in my ear. "Don't." Gunshots rang out in quick succession, one right after the other. "They're coming back inside. One of them has been shot. You're going to be here for a while."
This was so unlike L. He was so confident. And not that fake confident he had been at the party. No. This was where he was meant to be. In the action. As much as he liked to hide behind his computer and solve everything from far away, he was supposed to be front line and center. He was the spotlight. He was the world's greatest three detectives. He could get everyone out of here without anyone else being hurt.
The three stumbled back in, one of the men holding the other. And the woman came in a bit later. "There's no other door," she said, stepping over to the counter. "All of you, out here now. On the floor next to the others!"
And there was a scurrying of motion as the other clerks came to join the rest of us on the floor. One cried as a gun was pushed to the back of her head. "Is there another way out of here?" the woman asked impatiently.
"There's only the two doors for security," the woman answered in a high pitched voice.
"He needs a doctor," L muttered. "Or he'll bleed out like the guard."
"I need a doctor," the taller one said with clenched teeth, holding to his reddening shirt.
"What happened?" the woman asked, now walking over to the two men. "We were on count."
"An unmarked car was outside," L continued. "One of them is dead." My mind was welding with all of this information. And this damn carpet still smelled like feet. "Alright, killer." My jaw tightened at the name calling. "What would you do if you were them? You've just killed a police office and you're cornered. What do you do?"
Use the hostages for leverage. That was the only way they might be able to get out of here. And it was a very low possibility. And suddenly, I was being dragged to my feet, forced towards the front exit, but stopped in the line, the woman with the crying child beside me. She hushed it and tried to bounce the newborn lightly, but it still cried.
"Is anyone in here a doctor?" the fatter one asked, the sound of bags dropping to the floor.
"They're making you a shield," L said as he crunched away on something he was eating. Was this really the time to be eating anything? Or was he really that upset at me, that he could snack while I was being held at gunpoint.
"Shut that kid up!" the woman grumbled from behind us.
"It's a baby," I said, my voice very steady, despite how my knees were barely holding me up. "What do you expect?" There was a sharp pain in my head that made my ears ring and I dropped to my knees. She hit me with the but of the gun.
"Light, are you ok?" came a very muffled voice in my ear.
"Keep your mouth shut." The female grabbed onto my hair and held it tightly before letting it go.
"Apply pressure to it," one of them men said, obviously speaking to the injured one.
God, my head hurt. It spun and made my dizzy. But I didn't have time for this. I needed to be all here. All focused. I was L's tool. I shouldn't have spoken out.
"Light, are you ok?" L asked frantically. I waved towards the camera as an answer..
"Can't you focus on what's important?" The woman yelled, obviously upset.
"He's bleeding out. He needs help."
"It's his fault we're here in the first heads up on the cops, Luis."
"Luis," L muttered, now clearer in my head. "This is all very interesting. She's in charge. You can tell from the confidence even though she's pinned."
L was doing nothing to help. I honestly would have been better off without him.
"Ryuk."
At the name that left L, I glanced up to see two very thin black legs in front of me, with a black notebook in his extended hand. I didn't understand. Why was he here? I didn't have a death note on me. My death note was most likely back in England. Whose death note was this? It wasn't Misa's. I was sure her's was buried somewhere outside of Tokyo.
There was a raspy laugh. One that I hadn't heard in a very long time. One that somehow gave me a sense of comfort amidst the confused emotions rushing through my body.
"Anna Popov," Ryuk simply said, jesting out the black notebook further towards me. "Luis Volkov, Andrei Orlov." I gave a confused look. "Someone asked me to give you their names and this death note to help." My eyes dropped back down to the black notebook in Ryuk's hand. "Anna Popov."