A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone, I really appreciate the support
Chapter 5:
"Crowflight, did you hear?"
Crowflight looked up at Whitepaw. The medicine cat apprentice's eyes were stretched wide. "Hear what?"
"Emberstar's planned an attack on Riverclan's camp tonight," Whitepaw told him.
"Tonight?" Crowflight repeated incredulously.
Whitepaw nodded. "Silverfern needs for me to stock up on herbs. We're running low on almost everything."
"I can come with you," Crowflight offered. "Maybe another clan has a similar idea about attacking us."
"Thanks, I could use the company," Whitepaw accepted.
"So where to first?" Crowflight rose to his paws.
"We need dock leaves," Whitepaw meowed, keeping to the shade offered by the treetops. "They grow best closer to our border with Thunderclan."
Crowflight trailed after the she-cat. After a few moments of silence, curiosity got the better of him. "Whitepaw, did you want to be a medicine cat?"
"Of course," She seemed faintly surprised by the question. "Ever since I was a kit."
"I was just wondering," Crowflight searched for the right words. "If you weren't so . . . affected by the sunlight, would you . . .?"
"Yes," Whitepaw glanced over her shoulder at him. "I probably could have been a warrior, if I wanted. Thankfully we have a fair amount of cover in our territory so it wouldn't have been much of a problem, I think."
Crowflight hesitated a moment. "What do you think about Redwing?" The former deputy was hardly spoken to by his clanmates now.
Whitepaw sighed. "The warrior code demands sacrifice. Redwing has made it clear by being with Mintleaf that he values her above Shadowclan. I would love a mate and kits of my own, Crowflight. Really, I would. But more than that, I want to be a medicine cat and serve my clan the best I can. It's a trade-off, one I'm content to have made. So I don't pity Redwing, he made his own choices and now has to deal with the aftermath."
"Do you really want a mate?" Crowflight was startled by the medicine cat apprentice's revelation.
Whitepaw looked embarrassed. "Don't tell Silverfern I said that, or any cat for that matter. I'd rather be a medicine cat than a queen, but with this Redwing business, I don't need any of my clanmates to think I can't be trusted to control myself."
"You shouldn't try to suppress your emotions," Crowflight scolded her.
Whitepaw frowned slightly. "The clan is what's most important. See those leaves? That's dock," She changed the subject abruptly and began stripping the plant of its foliage.
Crowflight wanted to press her farther, but resisted, instead filling his jaws with dock leaves.
"That's all we should take," Whitepaw murmured after a few moments. "Otherwise there may not be enough left for it to grow back."
"So what next?" Crowflight mumbled around the herbs.
"Horsetail," Whitepaw struggled to keep her grasp on her own bundle. "It grows near the shore."
"Should we leave these somewhere?" Crowflight couldn't imagine carrying horsetail as well as the dock.
"Probably," Whitepaw looked around. "We can stop back at camp, I suppose."
Silverfern was in her den when they arrived. "You got so much!" She exclaimed in delight. "Is it only dock?"
"For now," Whitepaw set them down in front of her mentor. "We're going back out for horsetail."
"Good, good," Silverfern looked pleased. "Thank you for helping her, Crowflight."
"No problem," Crowflight flicked his ears. "Though it would be easier if were to be no battle at all."
"Emberstar knows what he's doing," In spite of her words, the silver she-cat's eyes were troubled. "We just have to have faith."
"Right," Crowflight murmured dubiously.
"Better go get that horsetail," Whitepaw brushed past him out of the den.
Crowflight lingered a few moments before following her out, staring at the ground.
He scrambled backwards in shock as he crashed into Redwing.
"Sorry," The former deputy's fur was ruffled. "I didn't see you."
"No, no," Crowflight shook his head. "It was my fault."
"Where are you going?" Crowflight could feel the stares of his clanmates.
"To get horsetail," Whitepaw was waiting by the camp entrance.
"Do you mind if I come?" Redwing shuffled his paws.
"We've already -" Whitepaw began.
"Sure," Crowflight cut her off. "We could use a pair of extra paws."
Whitepaw shot him a questioning gaze.
Crowflight shook his head, padding out of camp with Redwing in tow.
"Neither of you have ever been in love, have you?" Redwing posed the question when they had only gotten a few foxlengths from camp.
"You don't need to defend yourself, Redwing," Whitepaw muttered. "You can't."
Redwing lashed his tail. "I'm tired of my clanmates looking through me rather than at me. I'm tired of the silence that follows me wherever I go. I want my old life back."
"Too bad," Whitepaw snapped. Crowflight would have been dumbfounded at the normally docile she-cat's sudden change in behavior if it were not for their earlier conversation. "You betrayed your clan's trust. That was your decision, not ours. We'd be a lot happier if our deputy hadn't turned his back on us."'
"I was in love," Redwing bristled. "What could you expect?"
"Loyalty," Whitepaw snarled. "The selflessness a true warrior would show. You shouldn't have gotten close enough to her to fall in love."
"Well it's too late for that," Redwing growled bitterly.
"I know," Whitepaw agreed. "So go be with your mate in Riverclan. You betrayed your clan, don't betray your kits."
Redwing balked at her words. "I could never belong there."
"What makes you think you belong here?" Whitepaw retorted.
"This was my mother's clan," Redwing's voice was hardly audible. "It's where I grew up and where all my friends are. I am nothing without Shadowclan."
"So what are you without Mintleaf?" Whitepaw demanded.
"The same thing I am with her," Redwing sniffed. "A devoted Shadowclan warrior."
"Then why give the oh-so coveted position of deputy?" Whitepaw shot back.
"Because I knew the clan couldn't forgive me. It was bad enough I was half-clan," Redwing hissed.
"You chose your path and now the clan is paying for it," Whitepaw said finally. "Innocent cats could die because of what you did. Like I said, there is no defending it."