Gibbs had just finished briefing Fornell and Sacks on the new evidence that would exonerate Tony. The two FBI agents had been astounded at how Sterling had managed to manipulate not only the evidence, but everyone around him as well. Gibbs inwardly cringed at that realization; how much pain would Tony have been spared if he had recognized the fact that Chip was playing games with them? He knew that he didn't need to carry around the heavy load of guilt that had been weighing on him heavily for over a year, but it was difficult to relinquish the burden after all this time. DiNozzo had lost a year of his life and Gibbs knew that he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to his friend.
He had released Sterling into FBI custody, promising Fornell that he would provide him with what evidence they had gathered. Of course, Gibbs wasn't exactly prepared to completely turn the case over to the FBI; he was going to make damn sure that no stone was left unturned. Glancing at his watch, he calculated that he had been away from the hospital for nearly four hours. He needed to get back to DiNozzo, but he wanted to check in with his team and make sure that all their bases were covered.
Striding into the bullpen, he walked by the desk that had remained empty for over a year. There had been a few agents who had sought the coveted position on his team; however, it was obvious that no one could fill DiNozzo's shoes. Gibbs had finally convinced Jenny to quit pestering him about replacing Tony, citing that he still had McGee and Ziva and the three of them would be fine until his senior field agent returned.
He couldn't help but shudder at the thought of how difficult it was going to be for Tony to return to the life that he had known. Gibbs had only briefly considered how things were going to be once DiNozzo was out of prison. He couldn't allow himself to dwell too much on the future at the moment; his first priority was clearing Tony's name. However, the truth remained that there would always be a stigma attached to the younger man and Tony was going to have an uphill battle if he wanted to prove himself again. It wasn't fair. As far as Gibbs was concerned, DiNozzo didn't have a damn thing to prove; unfortunately, society wasn't going to see things the way he did.
"What've you got?" he asked as he made his way to his desk, pushing his earlier thoughts to the back of his mind.
"We've made copies of everything, Boss," McGee replied. "We were just getting ready to go out to the prison to get statements and…"
"I'll get the Warden's statement," Gibbs stated. "He and I are going to have a long talk."
"All right, Boss."
He heard the uncertainty in McGee's voice, but to the younger man's credit, he didn't dispute Gibbs' orders. The team leader had to admit that Tim was turning into a fine agent, but he still had a lot to learn. "I'm going back by the hospital and then I'll join you."
"How's Tony doing?" Ziva wanted to know.
Not wanting to go into details, Gibbs replied, "He's…holding his own."
"Will we be able to see him?"
"Soon," came the solemn answer.
Gibbs stood up and headed towards the elevator before McGee or Ziva could ask any more questions. Truthfully, he wasn't sure when Tony would be up to seeing them; the Marine wasn't sure that DiNozzo would even want to see him, but he was determined to talk to the injured man. Tony had definitely changed due to his time in prison; the team leader just hoped that all of the former agent's spirit hadn't been completely crushed by the harsh realities that he had been forced to face for the last year.
He silently admonished himself for once again losing sight of what he needed to do. Gibbs had to concentrate on the present; the team leader couldn't afford to get distracted by thoughts of regret as he fought to guarantee Tony's freedom. He knew that he would probably never know the struggles that Tony had faced on a daily basis and truthfully, he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. However, whenever DiNozzo wanted to talk, Gibbs vowed to make sure that he was around to listen.
The Marine barely remembered getting in his car and pulling out of the Navy Yard, yet somehow, he was now on his way back to the hospital. He so desperately wanted to talk to Tony, but he had a feeling that the doctors were not going to let DiNozzo wake too soon. However, they didn't know his former agent and Tony usually defied any kind of medical expectations; after all, the young man had survived the plague, so remaining in a drug induced coma because the doctor wanted him to wasn't reason enough for DiNozzo to remain unconscious.
A tiny smile danced on his lips as he considered DiNozzo's tenacity; he had known from the first time they had met that Tony was no stranger to determination and hard work. Tony was a survivor, but Gibbs couldn't help but wonder exactly how much simply surviving in prison had cost DiNozzo. He supposed that only time would tell, but the agent knew he had to be prepared for the emotional fallout that would ultimately follow.
Gibbs pulled in the parking lot and quickly wheeled into a space. Cutting of the engine, he pocketed the keys and got out of the car, quickly making his way to the front entrance of the hospital. Not wanting to wait for the elevator, he took the steps two at a time until he reached the high security floor; opening the fire door, he stepped out onto the floor and muttered a curse underneath his breath. Gibbs hated the fact that Tony was still being treated like a prisoner; he knew it was going to take time to clear DiNozzo's name, but it didn't quell his annoyance with the current situation.
He nodded, quietly acknowledging the nurses and the guard who was still stationed outside of Tony's room. Gibbs was grateful that no one had tried to stop him from seeing Tony; he wasn't in the mood to have anyone question his right to be here. As he entered DiNozzo's room, he was surprised to see Dr. Coleman and Dr. Neal hovering over Tony. The knot in Gibbs' gut constricted; the sight of the two physicians exacerbated the growing concern that had been gnawing at him.
Clearing his throat, he asked, "Everything all right?"
The two doctors turned to greet him. Dr. Coleman motioned Gibbs to step outside the room with him. "Something wrong?" he inquired again as soon as they cleared the door.
Coleman shook his head. "No. In fact, Mr. DiNozzo is trying to wake up. I'm not sure how and I'm sure not going to try and explain it, but he's coming around and trying to fight the vent. I'd like to keep him under a bit longer, but since he's trying to rouse on his own, I'm going to see how he does. Dr. Neal and I are weaning him off the vent and so far, he's doing pretty well."
"Is he awake now?" Gibbs wanted to know.
"He's opened his eyes a few times, but only for a few seconds. I know he can hear us because he's responding to commands. We'll leave you two alone for a while; maybe hearing a familiar voice will help."
Gibbs and the doctor walked back into Tony's room. He moved to Tony's bedside as Dr. Neal stepped away and joined his colleague as they silently left the room. Leaning over the railing, he called out to Tony. "Tony? Can you hear me?"
He placed his hand on top of Tony's head as he spoke the younger man's name once again. "Tony, open your eyes for me."
There wasn't any response from the injured man, but the doctor had told Gibbs that DiNozzo could hear him. He wasn't about to give up; if the circumstances were reversed, Tony wouldn't give up on him. "I know you're in there, DiNozzo. I need you to wake up; I've got some pretty amazing news you need to hear."
He slowly blew out a frustrated breath. What had he expected? Had he truly expected Tony to open his eyes just because he said so? Just because he had ordered Tony to live once, didn't mean that he could do it again. Why couldn't real life be like television? If it were, Tony would wake up, he would tell DiNozzo about Sterling, and they would be walking out of the hospital together as Tony resumed his life. Of course, real life wasn't like that; in fact, at times, real life was a bitch.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXThe only thing he knew at the moment was that he hurt like hell. Pain wasn't anything new to him, but what he was experiencing was to the point of agony. What bothered him even more was that fact that he felt like he was choking; somebody was strangling him and he was going to have to do something or he was going to die. He tried to grab his attacker's arms but he couldn't move; he was being held down, his worst nightmare becoming a reality.
When he finally dared to open his eyes and allow a sliver of light to penetrate the darkness that had encompassed him, Tony discovered two strangers standing above him, insisting that he calm down. He didn't recognize the men, which made him all the more wary of them. Although he figured that he was in the infirmary and the two men were either orderlies or doctors, he wasn't convinced that they were going to help him. Tony had been the recipient of the staff's so-called medical help too many times and he refused to be at their mercy once again.
"My name is Dr. Coleman and this is Dr. Neal," the taller of the two men stated. "I need you to calm down so I can talk to you."
Tony tried to shake his head, but his attempt was met with resistance. He didn't want anyone around him; the young man felt trapped and that feeling completely unnerved him. One of the doctors touched his arm, which only served to exacerbate his doubts and fears. Tony heard alarms going off around him as his breathing became even more labored. He was beginning to believe that he was going to die; maybe his long time wish was coming true.
"Look at me, Mr. DiNozzo," Dr. Coleman demanded. "You've got to calm down and we'll answer all your questions. We're here to help you."
He had become an expert at deciphering other people's intentions; as he met Dr. Coleman's gaze, Tony realized that the man was telling him the truth. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, exhaustion coursing through every fiber of his body; he nodded as he tried to focus on what the doctor had to say.
The alarms were silenced as Dr. Coleman placed a hand on his shoulder. "All right; that's good," the doctor urged. "You were seriously injured in a fight at the prison and you were brought to the hospital. You lost a lot of blood and had a punctured lung; you're on a ventilator to help your lung heal. We were trying to keep you sedated for a little while, but…well, apparently, you had other ideas. Now, you have got to stay calm and we'll see what we can do about making you more comfortable. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Tony would normally have a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue, but all he could muster at the moment was a slight nod. He remembered parts of the attack—more than he wanted to; maybe it would have been better if they had killed him. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that when he returned to prison, that he would be plunged back into the hell his life had become; Tony wasn't sure how much more torment he could take before he was completely broken.
He had become hardened to so many things over the past year. Tony no longer allowed himself to feel or display any emotion; he couldn't afford to appear weak in front of the inmates or the guards. He had learned that lesson the hard way and he had learned it quickly.
As he listened to the doctors and attempted to obey their requests, Tony remained cautious; his obvious distrust of people forcing him to keep his guard up. As Dr. Neal began to explain how they were going to see how well he could breathe on his own before taking him completely off the ventilator, Tony sensed a familiar presence enter his room. Gibbs. Gibbs was the last person that he wanted to see. Couldn't the man take a hint?
The doctors had apparently encouraged the team leader to talk to him. He remembered dreaming that Gibbs had been in his room, but now he wasn't so sure it had been a dream. Tony knew that the agent was leaning over him. "Tony? Can you hear me?" Gibbs asked.
Tony gave no indication that he heard Gibbs; perhaps if the older man thought he was asleep, he would leave. A few seconds later, he felt a hand on the top of his head. Damn it, Gibbs! Why are you doing this to me?
"Tony, open your eyes for me."
His natural instinct was to obey his former boss, but Tony still held onto the hope that if he didn't respond, Gibbs would give up. Of course, he knew that the Marine wouldn't give up; it wasn't in the man's nature.
"I know you're in there, DiNozzo. I need you to wake up; I've got some pretty amazing news you need to hear."
What could Gibbs have to say that he hadn't said before? How many times had he heard the promise that he and the team would find something to clear his name? He had given up hope a long time ago, but apparently, Gibbs never had and because of that reason, Tony owed it to the team leader to hear him out.
He slowly opened his eyes once again. As his tried to bring Gibbs' face into focus, he realized that it was too late to turn back; his former mentor knew he was awake and would take advantage of the opportunity to tell him of whatever 'amazing' news that he had to deliver.
"Hey there, Tony," Gibbs quietly greeted. "You with me?"
Tony blinked once in response; hopefully Gibbs remembered the nonverbal signal that they had used when he was recovering from the plague. In the early days of his recovery, Tony hadn't possessed any energy; breathing had been a chore and talking had been out of the question. Gibbs had told him to blink once for yes and twice for no and for two or three days, that had been the extent of their communication.
When he saw Gibbs smile at him, he knew that the agent had remembered. "That's good, Tony. I'm not even gonna ask you how you feel; I know you feel like crap."
He blinked again. Crap was an understatement; his whole body felt like it was simultaneously writhing in flames of anguish. He knew that feeling pain meant that he was alive, but at the moment, he wasn't so sure that living was the best option. Tony was tired, not just physically, but mentally as well. One could only fight so long before defeat became imminent and as far as the ailing man was concerned, he had reached that breaking point.
"I guess crap is an understatement," Gibbs continued to muse. "The doctors didn't expect you wake up so soon, but you showed them. I don't think they'll underestimate you again."
A calloused hand gently squeezed his shoulder, a gesture Gibbs had done many times as an act of reassurance. "I need you to listen to me," the Marine said. Tony recognized that tone and knew that even if he could, there would be no disobeying Gibbs' request.
Tony blinked a third time, silently indicating that he understood the agent. It was difficult to remain focused, but he would do his best to do so; even after all that had happened, he still didn't want to let Gibbs down. The fear of failing the man standing beside him had always weighed heavily on his mind; it was one of the main reasons that he had declined to see Gibbs whenever he visited him in prison.
It had cut Tony to the core of his being to see the desperation in his friend's eyes as he promised time and time again that he would find something to prove his innocence. Every time Gibbs came to visit him, Tony felt like a failure; if he hadn't screwed up, then his long time friend wouldn't have had to waste his time watching him rot in jail.
"I know you're hurting and probably confused," Gibbs began. "When you're stronger, I'll tell you what I know about what happened; I'm still trying to put together the pieces."
Truthfully, Tony didn't want Gibbs digging into his latest altercation; he knew the team leader well enough to know that he would keep investigating, discovering things that the former agent wanted to keep buried. If only he had the energy to offer a protest. At the moment, it was taking everything he had to stay awake and focused on what Gibbs was saying.
"You still with me, Tony?"
Blink. Why what was should have been the simplest of actions, wearing him out? Maybe Warden Phillips had been right all along; maybe he was weak and pathetic.
Gibbs tiredly smiled at him; Tony knew that the older man sensed that he wasn't going to be able to stay awake much longer. "Just give me another minute and then you can rest. What you need to know right now is that we've found some evidence that's going to clear your name; we've got proof that you were set up, Tony, and I swear to you, you're going to be a free man."
He stared at the silver haired agent in disbelief. Surely, he had heard wrong. Tony began to fight the ventilator once again as the monitor began to betray his rising heart rate. This couldn't be happening; his infamous luck had run out over a year ago and he wasn't about to consider the possibility that it had changed. He had so many questions, but he couldn't ask them.
"You have to calm down, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned. "Do you want them to throw me out on my ass?"
Tony blinked twice. For the first time in a long time, he wanted Gibbs to stay; he needed answers and the Marine was the only who could provide them. He managed to slow down his breathing, but not before his doctors and a couple of nurses descended upon him, pushing Gibbs out of the way.
"This is not what I meant when I told you that you could talk to him!" Dr. Neal chastised the team leader. "You were supposed to calm him down!"
Tony blindly reached out with his trembling hand until he felt Gibbs latch on to it. He hoped that the doctors and nurses would understand that he was trying to do what they wanted; unfortunately, it was too late. Out of the corner of his good eye, he saw the nurse inject his IV line with something and within a few seconds, he was drifting towards blissful unawareness. As he closed his eyes, he began to question the possibility that he was dreaming; if he was dreaming, Tony had already decided that he didn't want to wake up.
Again, I apologize for the delay; like I said in the other chapter I posted, real life gets in the way. I do appreciate your patience and hope you enjoyed the post. I'm blessed to have such loyal readers!