"Do you think the sun needs a lighter?" pondered Jasper.
The world around us was spinning. My thoughts were floating away from me.
"For what?" asked Edward.
"Because I bet the sun rolls lit blunts," Jasper responded.
"That's why the sun's so high!" Alice's light laughter was contagious which made me laugh hard until we were both crying. I realized mid-through that I totally forgot what we were even laughing about! The four of us were lounging around in Edwards living room and the styrofoam balls still haven't been painted. Laugher echoed around his too white home now that the boys had started laughing with us.
I realized I really liked laughing. Once I could breathe again I noticed it brought on this tingly sensation of love and happiness.
Jasper turned to Edward "Yo, you think we should roll up one more blunt?" he joked.
"That's a no-go!" Alice answered him "Hell no, I don't wanna overdose today."
Overdose? I got a bit paranoid about that... what if I smoked too much pot on my first time? My heart was thumping faster than usual and my head feels like twice the normal size.
"Everyone knows you can't overdose on weed, Alice." laughed Edward "You're fine."
Oh right...
"You sure because I'm..." Alice made a crazy face "High as fuckk."
"Baby, you zooted," chuckled Jasper. He moved closed to her on the couch and put his arm behind her.
Alice snuggled into his chest "Zoot! Zoot!"
"Toot! Toot!" I said.
"Woot! Woot!" Edward joined. I smiled at him, he looked so cute with his fried eyes. Edward must have felt the same way because his hand found mine. I felt my body glow, I didn't know what Edward and I are but I like where we're going. I curled a bit on him like how Alice was with Jasper and boy did that feel good.
"We need foood," Alice whined.
I chuckled "Like I'm ever gonna move." The thought of moving off this couch was almost hysterical! Note to self: Weed makes gravity feel stronger.
"Omygosh, Bella you're right. I CAN'T MOVE!" Alice started panicking on Jasper "I'M TOO HIGH! I'M TOO HIGH!"
"I'll save you!" Jasper came to the rescue by picking up Alice as if she were a child, spinning her in the air before setting her down on the floor. Alice took one step before tipping over and falling on her ass.
"Fuck you, Jazz!" She hollered. "I'm soo dizzy now!"
It was my turn to help Alice. "I'll save you!" I did not see the planet Mars on the floor. I ended up stepping on the styofoam ball and faceplanting on the carpet floor. Laughter danced around me.
Edward came to my fallen aide once again "Are you okay, babe?"
Did he just call me babe?!
"uhh...huh?"
Great, I couldn't sound like I had brain damage anymore if I tried.
Alice stopped laughing "Are you alright, Bella?"
Wait did he also call me babe or Bella? I'm not sure anymore!
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," I eventually said and sat up, "I think I'm too high to feel anything honestly,"
"Good!" she said before continuing laughing.
"You're kind of clumsy," commented Edward. He was sitting next to me on the floor now and he seemed like he was trying so hard not to laugh also.
"She r-really is!" said Alice "It's great!"
"What's that suppose to mean, Al?"
Alice was laying down on the floor with her eyes and mouth scrunched close. Her body shook with giggles. Her sour face of hers eventually popped out with another round on insanely loud laughter.
Why was her laugh so damn contagious! Her crazed laughter got to us eventually and soon enough, all three of us were smiling at the ceiling.
Jasper popped back into the room. "Guys, I solved the problem!" I didn't even realize he left nor that there was a problem. "I ordered pizza." We all cheered and hooted in response.
We all came together on Edwards couch while we waited for the delicious pizza. Just the thought of a cheesy, thick crust pizza had my mouth absolutely watering. We passed time by watching re-runs of the show Friends because neither Jasper nor Edward have seen it. Alice and I couldn't let them go on living without seeing at least one episode!
There was something about weed that gave me this feeling of just plain giddiness. When the bell rang for the pizza, I volunteered to get it. I just loved experiencing everyday things while high. Everything simple was suddenly new and interesting when you're stoned.
As soon as I opened the door, I smelled the gold. Then I looked into the eyes of the delivery man and my smile evaporated.
"Oh..."
Talk about awkward. Ben Cheney was the delivery boy. I wished I had a shell just like snails do, so in moments like this, I could disappear.
"Bella?" He seemed just as shocked to see me. "What are you doing at Cullens house?"
"School project," I replied tensely. "I didn't know you were a pizza delivery boy."
Then, I fucked up... I looked at him in the eyes for too long. His face suddenly grew dark. "Are you high?" I cursed myself. I went to grab the pizza from his hands but he pulled back "Bella, are you high?" he demanded to know.
"Give me the pizza, Ben!"
"What the fuck happened to you, Bella!?" He was yelling now. "This isn't you."
"Do you're fucking job and give me the pizza!" I yelled back at him. The fury of emotions in me was getting almost too much to bear. Anger, annoyance, and embarrassment all swirled in me.
I thanked the heavens when I heard the shuffling of feet behind me. Edward pulled me aside "What's going on here?" he growled
"Cullen..." I hated Bens expression, he was looking at Edward as if he were scum. As if Ben was anyway better.
"What's the problem here, man?" Jasper intervened "Just give us the pizza I ordered."
Ben glared at me before shoving the pizza into Jaspers' hands. "Have a good evening," snarled Ben. He stalked off to his lousy rusty truck. We door slammed shut quickly.
Alice emerged from the living room. "What happened?"
"Ben was the delivery boy," I huffed
She gasped at that "Oh, fuck... did he know?"
"Are my eyes really red?" I stared at her hoping she'd reassure me that they weren't that bad and that I looked fine.
Then I saw her expression twist into pained one "Yikes..."
"Who was that guy?" Edwards tone was laced with anger.
"My ex," I said sullenly. "He's so annoying." I couldn't tell of what had just happened was just a weird thing or a bad thing. Okay, so Ben Cheney knows I smoked pot... that isn't horrible, right? I can't tell anymore.
"No, no, let's not let that dude ruin our vibe. C'mon, we got pizza!" You could always count on Jasper to lighten the mood.
We sat down on the couch and allowed the cheesy goodness to try and take our minds off what just happened. Keyword: try. The one thing I could say about weed was that when I felt paranoid, the feeling lingers longer than it normally does.
We played a card game later and that's when I refused to let that asshole invade my mind and ruin the rest of the evening. We never even got to finish the game of Uno because we all kept messing up. It was comical how stupid we were being so we just made up our own rules. Alice and Jasper ended up leaving an hour before Edward's parents came home.
"We never did paint the balls," I mentioned to Edward after they left.
He laughed as he picked up the crushed Mars ball "Well good thing there's another day tomorrow."
"Fine, but don't bring out the bong tomorrow then," I told him sternly
"Aw, but it was fun!"
"It's fun yeah, but not smart to do a project high on this stuff," I sat back down on his white leather couch.
"Fine, fine... how about after?" He suggested, sitting down next to me. I rolled my eyes.
"Aw don't hate on me like that," He whined
"I'm not," I snickered "I was just thinking we could do something else after the project?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know like watch a movie like normal people or go out to eat?" Like what people normally do instead of getting high...
He thought about that for a moment "Like a date?"
"A date?" Shit, I did kind of suggest a date...
"I mean, we might as well, since the whole school by now probably thinks we're dating." he said with a smile "Besides, I really would like to take you on a date,"
My face was heating again "I can't believe we did that today," I shook my head. I was cringing internally as I remembered everyone's reaction from lunch.
"Well, I don't regret it, do you?" He asked me. His voice was so soothing. I thought about his question and realized that if I could have a do-over today, I would have still said yes to holding his hand in the cafeteria. It was the biggest rush of my life.
I looked back at Edwards patient eyes and I felt a bundle of butterflies in my stomach. He was just so beautiful, I really wanted him to be all mine and hold his hand all day, every day.
"I can't say I regret it," I told him. His lips formed a bigger smile at that.
"Good." We leaned into each other for soft kisses. I sighed into his mouth, this is what I've been waiting the whole day for.
I went home soon after with my mind cloudy with love and a bit of marijuana. My cloud dissolved once I opened the door and heard my baby sisters scream pierce my ears. I saw Phil was patting Dahlias back and rocking her around. My mother was looking tiredly at a book on her lap.
"Rough night?" I asked them. They both groaned.
"She won't stop!" complained Phil who was hiccupping my sister.
"We've done everything the parenting book says to do but she just won't stop crying," sighed my mother "I'm giving up and I'm taking a nice bubble bath. Hun, it's you're night to handle her." My mother passed by me and gave me a quick wink before disappearing into the bathroom.
"Good luck!" I told Phil before heading upstairs.
I was extremely tired tonight, I could barely read a page of my book. So I changed my clothes and ended up falling asleep before it was even 9 pm.
-x-
I was walking down the halls with Mike glued to my side, I had counted only 22 seconds before he finally asked "So, you and Edward, huh?" Everyone has suddenly grown an interest in me because of the lunch stunt. Girls in my classes were talking to me about homework and managing to bring up Edward in the middle of those conversations and boys were glancing at me in the halls.
I replied to Mike with a simple "Maybe."
"I wasn't expecting that. Like at all!" he says
"Shit happens. That's life." I gave him an annoyed glance, hoping he'll drop the subject.
"I know, b-but you're such a nice girl and he's a douche. What's so great about him?" he demands. I had zero tolerance for him today. His hair looked as crazy as his eyes were right now.
"A lot of things. Good-bye, Mike!" Even if I explained the complexity of Edward Masen to him, it wouldn't change Mikes one-way road mind.
"Seriously, though, there's a cute, caring and sensitive guy, right here and all you girls think I'm not boyfriend material because of that! Maybe I should be an asshole, that'll get me some chicks!" His words made me cringe. This is what's wrong with the world.
After third period, Misty appeared basically out of thin air to walk with me to the cafeteria. I counted 11 seconds before she asked: "So, what's going on with you and Edward?"
"We're just talking," I said. I don't even know what we are.
"Talking and holding hands?" She had such a weird smile on "Soo cute!"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Do you like him?" She asked me while twirling some of her blonde hair.
"He's cool." I was hoping that being dry would make her drop it.
"Duh! But do you like him? Are you guys dating or about to?"
I felt like Misty was a leeche and I was her source of blood. "He's a good guy." Was all I could say.
"Edward Masen a good guy? Wow, I've never heard that one before! I could never tell because he's just so mysterious." I was staring at the ground while we talked, I hated looking into Misty's eyes, they're too intense. "But you seem to have gotten him out of his shell. Care to share your magic trick?"
I made a face "Just being a decent human being, I guess."
"That is magical!" She laughed "So, does he like you... like wanna take you on a date or does he just like what you're packin'?"
I was so grateful to see the cafeteria entrance approaching! "Well, I know he doesn't hate me."
Keep it vague is my new motto.
She laughed in this phony kind of way. "Of course, silly. He left his teammates during lunch yesterday to sit with you! That means a lot. I can see why he likes you because you're so pretty and smart and kind, my my! We should hang out sometime!"
"Sure?" I nearly flung the cafeteria door open. The cold, cold cafeteria air felt like walking into a haven.
"Great, how about tonight?"
"I can't, I have a project to work on," I hesitated "with Edward."
Her smile never falls "You guys are so cute! It hurts! We'll plan another night then... toodles!"
I rolled my eyes once I saw my friends glancing at me oddly. After I grabbed food and took a seat in front of Alice, Rosalie told me "Misty is insane, I hope you know that."
"I kinda sense that vibe from her,"
"Anyways," chirped Alice "Are you ladies down to go shopping tonight?"
"I have to finish that project with Edward, remember," I said apologetically.
"Oh, of course," Alice wiggled her eyebrows "We'll go tomorrow then."
"I'd prefer we go tonight, actually. I have work every other day." Said Rosalie
"I'll just reschedule with Edward," I said in between my bites of food. "Where do you work?"
"I have photo shoots and rehearsals for the upcoming Washington Cinderella Beauty Pagent." Rosalie rolled her eyes "Modelling can be such a bitch sometimes."
"Ooh! But that sounds so exciting!" Alice clapped her hands
Rosalie mouth simply twitched "Modelling's a bitch." The air was slightly awkward after that as we pondered what Rosalie meant exactly by that.
Then Jasper appeared at our table again today with his paper bag full of food, lightening the mood once again. Edward joined us again after and suddenly I found our lunch breaks have been more enjoyable than ever. The conversations we were having were deep and also funny, and suddenly, I wished senior year would slow down for moments like these to last longer.
-x-
After school, I quickly did most of my homework and went to join the girls at our local mall. Alice and Rosalie were already drinking their Starbucks as they waited for me to arrive. "I'm so glad you're here with us!" greeted Alice with a hug. After I got my caramel latte, I sat down with the girls to plot.
Our main goal this evening: find a prom dress.
We entered Paisley Boutique first because they're ball gowns on display were calling our names. Alice entered this store as if she were a child in Disneyland. She was immediately drawn to the row of red, glittery dresses. "I think red's my color," she said while already holding two red dresses.
"I think you're the kind of person who could pull off any color," said Rosalie "Like, you can even pull off yellow."
Alice pondered that for a moment before grabbing a flowy green dress on the rack next to her and disappeared off into the changing room.
"I can't believe prom is around the corner," I told Rosalie while looking at all the light blue dresses.
"Tell me about it," huffed Rose "I'd always picture my prom night with all my friends in a limo, the perfect dress with a perfect date..." she trailed off with a sullen face.
"I'm sure you'll find someone great to take you to prom," I told her.
Rosalie was staring off into the distance a bit before nodding to what I told her. "This is cute, what do you think?" she asked me. She had in her hands a baby pink dress that had a rose corset with a silk gown.
"That's totally you, especially with that rose corset!"
"Yeah, I agree. I'm gonna go try it on," She smiled.
I grabbed my favorite blue dress and trailed behind rose into the dressing room. Alice was already outside her stall, admiring herself in a fierce bright red dress she tried on. "Opinions, please," she asked me when I walked in.
"Fiestyy," commented Rose
"You look amazing, you should get it," I told Alice.
"This is gonna be such a tough decision!" said Alice as she went back into her dressing room.
I went into my room and shimmied into the tight mermaid dress I picked out. The sea blue color made my skin glow in a good way but the mermaid
I was critiquing myself in the mirror when I heard a light thud, followed by an "Oh, shit."
"Rosalie?" I heard Alice's voice ring. "What was that?"
"Just some trash," I heard her say.
I heard locks turn and shuffling "Rose," Alice's voice was beginning to sound like a condescending parent.
I decided to make my way out of the dressing room now. Alice was in another red dress, right outside Rose's stall now looking like a bloodhound on the hunt. "What do you think?" I asked her.
That question put a smile back on her face "Wow, Bella! You always look stunning in that blue tone!"
Rosalies door opened and she came out wearing the pale pink dress that draped around her body elegantly. "You look amazing in that Bella, I knew you would." She told me with her eyes radiating sincerity.
"You look great, too," I told Rosalie. That dress was literally made for her, I was jealous of her tall, thin body that can make anything look beautiful.
"And you missy," Alice turned right back to Rosalie "I saw what that was." I looked between my friends trying to understand what was happening.
Rosalie hung her head "It's old stuff, it just fell out of my bag. I forgot I even had it."
"Had what?" I asked.
Alice double checked that the other dressing room was empty before whispering to me "Cocaine."
My eyes widen at Rosalie "What!?"
"Oh, hush," she told me "Don't make a big deal about it."
I still stared at her wide-eyed, especially since she was telling me having illegal powder in her bag was no big deal. What if there was coincidently a drug-sniffing dog at the mall tonight?
"So you weren't using just now?" asked Alice.
"No, I wasn't," claimed Rosalie "Unless you want to..."
Alice's mouth dropped "I wasn't-"
"I know Alice, I'm just suggesting it because I have all this left from the last party that I never used. I wouldn't want it to go to waste." Rosalie said playing with her fingers "It'll make this shopping trip extra fun."
Rosalie just had to mention that it'll make a shopping trip fun. I saw those words have a twist in Alice's head "Alright, I'll try..." caved Alice.
It was my turn for my mouth to drop. My brain seemed to have a bit of a break down at the turn of events.
"You down, Bella?" Rosalie asked me next. Rosalie looked like the picture of ease, playing with her hair while looking at me with these stunning features. She's exactly the type of person D.A.R.E warned me about. The devil in disguise.
"No, I'm good," My voice shook as I said those words.
I was ready to stay strong and keep on saying no to this hard drug. Marijuana was a joke compared to cocaine. I braced myself for Rosalie to laugh and call me some type of name like I'm a wimp or a coward. I braced myself for her or Alice to beg me to join them.
But all Rosalie did was say: "Suit yourself, more for us then."
I watched my best friend skip into Rosalie's dressing room. Then the door closed behind them. I stood there, alone, outside the dressing room.
When I took D.A.R.E in middle school, we were told how drug users would peer pressured us into trying drugs. They would make it seem like it was cool and all or maybe they would intimate you to try. That's why we practiced saying no a hundred times in that program.
But D.A.R.E never prepared me for this feeling.
This feeling of being left out, like I didn't matter. This was a secretive, malicious form of peer pressure. It wasn't said through words but by actions. This type of peer pressure was thick in the air and constricting my breathing.
I heard the girls giggle in the stall and I bit my lip from the tsunami of emotions I felt.
I said no to drugs, so why do I feel so bad?
"Wow," I heard Alice sigh. The locks soon turned again and Alice bounces out and twirled a bit "This is so fun!"
Rosalie's eyes were wider than before "Right?"
Alice wrapped me in a hug "You feel so nice, you sure you don't want to try with me?" Alice asked me.
The tsunami of emotions I felt finally crashed down on me. I hated being left out, especially by my best friend. "You know what, sure. Fuck it." I ended up saying.
We're in this together.
Rosalie raised her brows "Really? Well, come on into our little party!" Rosalie held the door open to her dressing stall. Alice clung onto me as we entered the stall. When the doors twisted to a lock, the only sane voice in my head whispered What are you doing? I replied I don't know!
I watched with fascination as Rosalie pulled out the smallest sandwich bag with rocks that resembled snow. "What does cocaine make you feel?" I asked wearily.
"Instead of downing two Starbucks lattes, you just snort a white line," Rosalie said as she cut the rocks with her credit card.
"Does it hurt?"
"It felt like I snorted pixie dust!" sung Alice. "It felt magical."
I glanced at myself in the mirror. The dress looked too beautiful to be worn by such a confused girl.
"Who's first?" Rosalie asked. Laid on a magazine were six, small white lines of powder.
"Me! Me!" Volunteered Alice. Rosalie gladly handed her the rolled up bill. It was the weirdest feeling ever. Seeing my best friend who I grew up with, in a fancy gown, huddled in front of drugs. Alice sniffed up the fattest line "Woo!" She twirled around the room again.
Rosalie took the bill out of Alice's excited hands and sniffed her own line. She then scraped the leftover grains on the magazine and licked it. "Bella," Rosalie's hand gently laid on mine "Breathe in deeply and relax, you look tense." I followed her advice and gulped in the air greedily.
I'm sure I looked as tense as I felt. My whole body was constricted
"Cocaine is overrated, you'll be fine. It doesn't last long anyway. Just relax and remember nothing crazy is going to happen." I had to give Rosalie credit because she managed to calm me down a bit. I looked down at the lines that had my name on it.
The cocaine lines glittered as I put the $50 bill to my nose "I just breathe, right?"
"Yes, Bells, breathe it all in!" Alice encouraged me. I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror and it'll forever be engrained in my memory.
I have changed.
I sniffed in the powered and I felt the surge of chemicals enter my system. Energy and magic exploded in my brain like tiny firecrackers.
"Woo," I breathed out.
"Do another line with your other nostril," said Rosalie.
I did as I was told and I enjoyed the second round of explosives to enter my body. I noticed my thoughts sped up and my body glittered like the cocaine.
The girls finished the other lines in a matter of seconds. "Who needs Starbucks when you got this!" Alice said loudly.
"Let's go to Sephora," Rosalie said excitedly "That'll be fun."
"Yass!" cheered Alice "We'll come back another time for these dresses! I need makeup!"
We left the boutique with a few options for our prom dresses. Sephora was only two stores down so we got there instantly. Our walk and talking had sped up twice as fast. The lights around the mall seemed brighter then ever.
Rosalie really wanted the new two-faced peach palette so her an Alice hunted down for it.
I, on the other hand, got mesmerized by the Kat Von D section, especially her metallic highlighter. It was over $30, though! I wondered what on Earth was in these powders to make it cost so much. I swatched some shades, loving the color and sparkles. Everything was so exciting! I felt so jittery. ha! Who cares how expensive this makeup is, it's pretty! It's mine now.
I met up with Rose and Alice with the Alchemist Holographic Palette in my hand. We each had big smiles on our faces when we saw each other. Alice engulfed me in a big hug.
Rosalie was right, cocaine does not last long. After exploring Sephora for twenty minutes, I was feeling normal. Man, what an experience that was. I liked it because it wasn't like marijuana that got everything all hazy. It was a thrill.
"You guys down for more?" Rose smiled "I have a lot left to spare."
Alice said yes of course. So I said "Yeah, sure,"
We took turns in the bathroom stalls after every other store for the rest of the night. This was by far the craziest shopping trip I've ever had.
I ended up leaving the mall with makeup and a ton of fake diamond jewelry that sparkled as much as the powder up my nose.