A/N: I feel that this chapter tells a great deal about Rosalind's true state of mind. Please let me know what you think.
Chapter 16: Punishment
"Have a seat Miss Kersey" spoke Snape whilst walking to his desk, waving his wand and having the doors to his office slam shut behind us. Classy.
The room was dim, only a candle here and there set alight to bring some semblance of colour to the dreary, depressing room. It was just the same as it always was, with not a single jar having changed its content. I took a tentative sniff and almost allowed myself to show my disgust openly as a particularly poignant smell of Knotgrass assaulted my nostrils.
This precisely was the reason I hated to visit the office of my head of house, or any other potion office in the world. The smells were always so strong, almost violent in their intensity and they would stick to the Potion Master and the room he had worked in for days on end. Disgusting.
My little sightseeing tour ended with the man himself, sitting in a tall armchair with his back straight, his black eyes focused on me, studying my appearance, analysing me.
But it would take someone much smarter to see through me, and with this knowledge firm in my mind, my movements were relaxed, graceful as I slowly walked over to the offered seat, sat down and folded my hands in my lap. No need for them to be close to my pockets, my wand was not needed at this occasion. Severus Snape was, if anything, smart enough to know not to pull his wand at me.
I raised my gaze to meet the cold one of my professor, raising my chin and looking down at him, figuratively speaking. Severus Snape was below me, and he knew it.
"I take it that you are aware Miss Kersey, that duelling Harry Potter at the doorstep of his Head of House was not a wise move, one could even call it… foolish." Spoke he, making a small pause before the last word, taunting me.
But I would not rise to a bait so poorly set. So I remained silent.
"But you are not a fool Miss Kersey, the both of us are aware of that. So it makes me wonder, what could it have been that motivated you to behave with such carelessness. Would you mind… enlightening me?" asked he, once more allowing his tone of voice to show what his words alone would not. He was annoyed with the demeanour I displayed and wished to pull me down to the same state. How pathetic.
Silence.
"Miss Kersey?" spoke he after a while, the words sounding as if they were forced violently through his teeth. "Did you not hear my question?"
"I did professor" I spoke, my tone lazy, and I dare say that was a better bait for the man opposite me than any he had posed before me. "I simply find it unnecessary to answer. I am told that you can think of a virtually limitless amount of reasons to torture or otherwise embarrass Harry Potter. Surely you can choose one."
I fought back a smirk at the anger that appeared in his eyes. For a moment there, I thought he would surely pull his wand at me, but he seemed to come to his senses, and he snarled at me, seemingly just barely in control of himself.
"Watch your tone Miss Kersey!" hissed he" You will show me respect in this castle!"
"Oh I am truly sorry professor" I smiled, my intention little more than poisoning the man. How dared he call me out? Who was he to judge me when he bulled the boy unceasingly and without mercy? "I meant no disrespect. Of course you are my professor, and therefore I owe you my respect."
The smile slipped from my lips as I continued "But that is all I shall give you. I have no reason to justify my actions or defend myself. I did as I pleased, and I shall do so hence forward as well. "
"And is joining the Dark Lord one of the things you shall do so wilfully as well?" demanded he, and I noticed that his anger only rose by each word said, from my side and his. Clearly this was not the way he wished this conversation to go.
"We shall simply have to wait and see, won't we professor?" I asked, standing up slowly. "All you can do is give me detention. As we have seen, even expelling me is out of the question. And attempting to threaten or blackmail me would be truly unwise. Do not stand in my way professor, I may not see you as a friend."
"Is that a threat Miss Kersey?" asked he, jumping to his feet opposite me.
"Why professor, I would do no such insolent thing. It is merely an advice. For example, a week of detention for my misbehaving? How about we agree on that and call it a day?" and without waiting for an answer, I turned my back on him, walking away as I called in afterthought "I will be here tomorrow night, at seven. Good afternoon professor."
With that said, I turned my back to the angry man, satisfied that I heard an angry clash of glass breaking as I closed the doors of his office.
Despite finding no annoyance settled in my mind in response to the words of Snape's taunting, my sister was sure to give me an early death the next morning.
She wasn't seated next to me, on the contrary, Arielle and Claudia sat between us, but I could still see her constant movement. She was craning her neck to the best of her ability every couple of seconds in order to observe the enchanted ceiling above our heads. And she wasn't the only one.
Many a head looked skywards that morning and I knew that they were not looking at the ominous dark grey clouds that loomed on the sky high above us, promising a dreadful downpour likely to start any moment now. This was even the case at the Slytherin table, where we were seated for the morning meal, and although I knew that many of my peers would know the news even before the reporters of the much awaited Daily Prophet would, they still seemed eager to see it sprawled on the broad sheets of paper.
With yelps and shouts my own head snapped upwards, my vision filled with all shades of brown and grey, occasionally even white. Hundreds upon hundreds of owls swooped down towards us, their wings flapping, feathers flying in every direction. My eyes scanned the horizon thoroughly and settled on a majestic grey owl swooping downwards with elegance and precision. I stretched out my hand lightly in front of me and in seconds Greyclaw was perched on it, extending his leg to me and offering me my copy of the newspapers.
I took them lightly from his leg, unfastening the ribbon that tied it to his small leg. I stroked his feathers absentmindedly as I lowered my gaze to the newspapers.
It honestly took all of my restraint not to laugh out right at the bombastic headline that welcomed me. "Children of Merlin- The new threat to the Wizarding World." Was the title written in bold printed letters, large enough to cover several rows and positively shining with the thickness of the ink they were printed with. Beneath the headline was a large illustration showing four bound wizards trashing and doing their damn best to get away from the four witches that stood opposite them. It was clear that the figures were female, but for this editorial, as it seemed to me, the editor of the Daily Prophet must have cashed out quite a sum, for the figures sported capes of red and gold, silver and green, bronze and blue and yellow and black. Three figures stood at the back, seemingly laughing manically and throwing their heads back in laughter, wands drawn, as the figure in the front, the one sporting the cape of silver and green, seemed to be preforming a Cruciatus curse on the unfortunate victims, a vicious smile on her face.
Now, the only thing the poor artist had gotten right from the entire ordeal was that I indeed was the Dark Arts user, everything else was complete and utter rubbish. And as my eyes skimmed down the length of the article, turning a page to find it continuing on another two pages, which honoured me greatly of course, I found that the rest of the article was equally awful and inaccurate.
It was a breath taking tale of four unfortunate wizards who had gotten captured by four insane witches sporting animal masks, also a part of the aforementioned illustration, who had tortured them and killed off three of them using horrendous torture curses, leaving one lone, lucky survivor.
Complete rubbish, as I said before.
As I finished skimming through the article I smirked, tossing the papers to Arielle who seemed to be eagerly waiting for just that.
"Complete sloppiness and foolishness" I commented as Arielle too skimmed through the article.
I glanced to my left as I calmly took a sip of my pumpkin juice, already done with my meal.
What greeted me was a sight of Arielle widening her eyes ever more with every word. The title seemed to surprise her but her surprise grew with every word ever more and as she reached the end of the article she tossed it to the side, albeit not as lightly as I had done, allowing Claudia to read.
"And just when you thought that they couldn't get any thicker, up they are and they rise to the challenge." Said she, turning to me and grinning.
"I find it hardly surprising" I spoke, taking another sip and watching as Claudia grew red in her face.
"Yeah, yeah, but really" said she, over another mouthful that I chose not to identify but which looked suspiciously like mashed potatoes, annoying me as I knew that she ate that way purposely, to grate on my every nerve "but you'd think with Voldemort on the loose they'd say something about Muggles, but no, they decided to pin the blame on us. Idiots."
She whispered that fact, but I barely paid any attention to it as I was busy listening in to the conversation going on between my sister and Claudia.
"How dare they blame the Children of Merlin?" she was saying in a dangerously loud voice.
"Calm down Clo! Shush!" tried my sister, whispering in response to Clo's yelling.
"I won't calm down, this is bloody ridiculous!" yelled she, turning more than a couple of heads. I was moment from hexing her, especially as I noted that Zabini was observing us intently, but being the ever charitable witch that I was, I decided to give my sister another chance to calm her down.
Meanwhile, Arielle seemed to have picked up on something being wrong and she asked "What's wrong with you?" turning around.
As she noticed the scene playing out however, she hissed "Bloody Hell" in response, and I could have sworn I saw her kick Clo in the shin under the table.
"Please Claudia, you need to calm down, everyone is staring!" tried my sister, taking a hold of Clo's hand and pressing it firmly.
"I will not calm down Melody!" roared she, and I stood up quickly, murderous in my rage.
I walked up to her, glaring at everyone who dared look up from their plates and making them lower their heads in response.
I came to a stop behind Clo and I very slowly, very intentionally, leaned down and brought my face inches away from hers.
"I hope you realise just how close you are to being butchered on this table" I hissed, my tone poisonous, and as I noticed that she shivered and looked to Arielle for help I continued "Arielle can't help you, and she won't for that matter."
I noticed that Zabini was still observing us and I gave him a death glare, which apparently had no effect what so ever, only serving to anger me more.
"If you can't keep your bloody mouth shut and behave as if you were not a low born ape, I suggest taking lessons from Melody. If you are unable to do that, and if your blabbering mouth exposes us and endangers my sister, I will render you immobile and mute, permanently!".
I had been constantly glaring at Zabini, but it did no good, as his dark brown eyes never swayed from mine and as I said that, I stood straight up, leaving behind a terrified Claudia and all the more angered as I knew that Zabini had stood up, following me.
I couldn't believe it, honestly, I could not fathom it. He was following me! Was he a bloody imbecile?
Of course, I couldn't have been sure that he was indeed following me and not simply headed the same way, to the common room, or the Potions classroom, but after I made a deliberate left turn that led to the dungeons of the castle, an area barren of virtually anything, save from the occasional shackles on the walls, I was sure.
Another right turn led me to a broad hallway, brightly illuminated with a dozen or so candles, positioned a couple of steps from each other, standing on opposite walls of the wide room. I slowed down my pace, listening as my low steps were followed by heavier ones, though also surprisingly silent. He slowed down as well, deliberately matching my pace. I had not turned around once from leaving the Great Hall, but I instinctively knew it was him. Who else could it be? Who else could provoke this unimaginable anger by simply existing?
Very slowly, my hand reached into my pocket and inch by inch I pulled out my wand, still walking. Just as soon as I had pulled out my wand completely I spun on my heel, standing sideways with my wand tipped downwards and my head turned to the side so that I observed the foolish boy.
"Why in the name of Merlin are you following me Zabini?" I hissed, glaring at him with unimaginable hate.
He stood with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders leaned back, relaxed, as if he were not facing one of the most deadly students the Hogwarts castle had to offer. One very, very cross student at that.
His face pulled in a smirk, and I felt my control slipping through my fingers, as if it were water, slowly but surely escaping me.
"Why Rosey, nothing escapes your notice does it?" asked he, his dark brown eyes focused on mine. They were unreadable to my inquisitive glance and I think that that may have been what pushed me over the edge, the simple thought of not knowing, not being able to read him, being vulnerable.
"Impedimenta!" I hissed, and although his eyes widened slightly in surprise he did not seem to be able to pull out his wand to defend himself in time, or even make an attempt to do that.
The hex hit him straight in the chest and he was sent flying through the empty room, landing against the wall with a loud crash, a groan of pain escaping his lips. His face was scrunched up in pain and he seemed to be gasping for breath, falling to the floor from the force of the attack.
But that was not enough. That was not nearly enough, I had to make him suffer, I wanted him in pain. By Merlin, in that moment, all of the rage that I felt towards Claudia, the loneliness and sorrow that had been ripping me apart for the entity of the month, the desperation, the helplessness, all of it, poured into one simple emotion. So very basic.
I hated Blaise Zabini, Merlin, help me, I hated him with such burning passion that I was slightly scared of myself.
But that could not stop me. I needed to act, I needed to torture him.
"Tenebrae Restringo!" I hissed, the curse so powerful that the boy resembled a doll remarkably with the way he was swung up in the air, his body stretching as if pulled and pinning itself to the surface of the wall behind him, his arms and legs pulled up and sideways, his head being the only part that was still under his control.
I knew that I'd have to stop. This was a Dark Arts spell, and using it on a student really could get me expelled. But I needed it, it was essential that I let this anger out. And he did volunteer.
But still, I walked forward slowly, like a predator stalking its pray, a fiendish smile pulling on my lips, stretching them, pulling them up and revealing my teeth.
As I neared him, I noticed that his eyes were wide open, but there was no pain on his face anymore. He seemed calm, as if he was thinking through his options. Ridiculous.
"Those lips are by far too beautiful for such a horrendous smile Rosey." Spoke he, smiling at me. Taunting me.
"Naturally, my mistake." I agreed, my smile growing as I hissed "Affligo!"
He could not avoid it, and I was by far too good a caster to miss, and his ribs took the damage. His head snapped backwards as his instinct to curl up was limited by my binding curse, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and clenching his teeth.
"Better now?" I asked, staring up at him, my satisfaction oddly dimmed. Perhaps I needed more. He would need to suffer more.
"I love it when you take control like that Rosey" spoke he, giving me a strained smile "gives you a certain glow. And I'm the only one who gets to see, you have no idea how privileged I feel."
"How about I award you more then?" I hissed, my anger flaring "Diffindo!"
A faint hiss escaped him as I tore his shirt, cutting his arm and allowing a stream of dark red colour to drip down his elbow, to the floor below him. This seemed to get to him, and his control slipped, showing me that he was angry, very angry at me. Good.
"Will you punish your little friend as well? She seemed to anger you mightily today. What happened Roseycheeks, you lost control again?" Spoke he, his tone mocking me.
I lost it at that moment, I seriously lost it.
I was by his side in a second, taking immense pleasure in the fact that his eyes widened at my approach.
My hand reached up, stretching to its very limit and my wand was pressed to his temple in an instant.
"You know Zabini" I spoke ignoring him and observing my wand as I gently lowered it down his face, to his cheek where I stopped, tilting my head in observance "I honestly did not believe you were this stupid!"
He seemed frozen in fear and I revelled in the feeling, gently tracing his cheek, down to his jaw with my wand, and then pressed it to his neck sharply.
"To anger me, beyond any sensible measure, why, that was surely the most unintelligent thing you have done in your life!" I hissed, resuming my path down his neck to his collar bone, down his shirt, and stopped right in the middle of his chest, where his heart was.
"I was serious. This loud, violent, strong beating of your heart…. I want to stop it." I whispered, looking up at him. "I want to be the one to make your heart cease its erratic work. And I would do it, if I only could, I swear to you, I would end your life here and now."
"Why don't you?" breathed he, looking down at me.
"Melody" I answered, twirling my wand and making small sparks erupt, burning his shirt in places. "she still needs me. You owe your life to her."
"I'm not afraid of you Rose" spoke he, an odd note to his voice that had me look up, only to see that he lowered his defences, allowing me to see. He was telling the truth, the bastard was not afraid of me in the very least.
"Affligo!" I hissed in response, aiming my wand in his stomach and eagerly watching as he closed his eyes in pain once more.
One wave of my wand and he was on the floor, the binding curse gone.
I kneeled beside his bent figure and focused my eyes on his.
"The next time you see it fit to interfere in my affairs, I will use the unforgivables on you, Melody, or no Melody. " I said, getting up and leaving him huddled on the floor.
Why did he follow me? The moron had not offered me a reply, and I was all the more annoyed by the feeling of regret that settled in my stomach. I should have killed him then and there.
It seemed to have worked. To my immense amazement, despite always being in the near and constantly observing me, Blaise Zabini never once for the remaining days of that week made an attempt to talk to me, flirt with me or even give me a seductive glance. Perhaps seeing how serious I was had persuaded him that it was indeed truly unwise to get close to me.
On the other hand, word of our little encounter had not been spread through the house as of yet, and I figured that his pride would never allow him to talk about the humiliation, despite the fact that my usage of the Dark Arts could cause me a great deal of trouble.
So, my little threatening act seemed to be intimidating enough to secure me a welcomed period of peace. There was still the problem of Nott and the rebellion that seemed to be headed my way, the problem of training in the trunk and so on, but this moment of calm before the storm was much appreciated.
And there was a storm coming. This weekend was an exception to the general rule of two visits to the trunk per week, since Sunday marked the day of the anniversary. I had simply refused to spend the day dodging hexes.
Therefore, that Saturday's stay in the trunk was particularly difficult and demanding, as the founders seemed to double our work in an attempt to make up for the two months that we would be losing.
Each class had increased its pace, relentless in its demands and unforgiving of errors. But there was progress, especially visible in our teamwork, as we seemed to be acquiring the skill of reading our partner's movements, moving in synchrony with them. I was sure now of something that I had assumed merely one week ago, the dummies that we were facing proved no adequate challenge. Gryffindor seemed to agree, as he happily announced that we would now be duelling him of all people, a feat that proved vexing and impossible all in all.
My comfort was provided as usual by the Dark Arts class and Charms class, and surprisingly, in the form of animagus training. The form of my animagus was clear to me now, the vixen clear to my mind. I always imagined being seated on the floor of a dark room, sitting opposite a small vixen that was observing me. I would stretch out my hand for her, inviting her, beckoning to her, and after a while, she would slowly begin approaching me. I knew, although never having been told, that the moment the vixen allows me to pet her would be the moment I would be able to become one with the noble animal, changing my form and assuming hers.
And as per their custom, the founders, namely Salazar and Ravenclaw, decided that a surprise would be needed during our stay in the trunk.
Therefore, one day, they simply decided that we would not have our Astronomy class, instead we were seated once more in a circle in the Charms classroom, awaiting further instructions.
"You have been taught to run" started Salazar, his voice droning as he seemed to find the monologue he was undoubtedly forced to recite completely unnecessary. "You have been taught to duel, you have been taught to dodge and fly by Godric. That is to say, he has trained your bodies" at this point his voice showed his disdain towards such methods openly, "and now we shall move on to more serious matters. The child's play is over, be prepared."
As ominous as ever.
Ravenclaw seemed to agree with me, but instead of staying silent and attentive as I had chosen to be, she decided to give Salazar a death glare.
"What Salazar wishes to say, I am sure, is that despite the fact that having good stamina and well trained body is essential in a duel is true, it is also extremely important to train your mind." Spoke she, seemingly wishing to interest us in the subject, but got interrupted by Salazar.
"Your mind is your fortress, once it gets overtaken it is very difficult, if not impossible to win it back." Droned he, responding with a haughty look to Ravenclaw's glare." Today we shall teach you the art of attacking an opponent with your mind, taking his information and breaking his will, making him succumb to your wishes."
Melody did not seem all too thrilled with the introduction, most likely finding such measures cruel. But I was interested, to say the least, and I smirked in acknowledgment as my mentor's eyes focused on mine. Breaking the body is easy, yes, but breaking the mind is difficult, challenging, fun.
"And, what Salazar undoubtedly wished to mention, "continued Ravenclaw, almost huffing in her frustration "is that we will teach you how to defend your mind, how to make it a fortress impossible to overtake. Today, we shall teach you the art of Legilimency and Occlumency."
"These are noble arts, make no mistake" spoke Salazar, giving us a stern glance, reminding us not to take things lightly, as if we were as careless as to do that. "but, were you to have been deemed of lesser minds, you would have never been allowed near the trunk. Therefore, as superior to your peers in every aspect, both light and…" spoke he, his eyes travelling towards me, pride in his words "dark, we have deemed you worthy of learning it, however difficult they may prove to be."
"Now, Salazar, you really mustn't scare the girls to such a degree." Spoke Ravenclaw, giving him a warning glance, "I have full confidence that they will be able to master the skill in next to no time."
This seemed to be too confident of a statement, but I decided not to call her out on it. After all, I have never known that legendary mind to be wrong.
"The first skill that you will be taught is Occlumency" continued she as Salazar stood broodingly to the side. Apparently he had other ideas about the manner in which this class would be held.
"Occlumency is the skill of magically fortifying your mind, organising it in such a manner that all of the information you possess is sorted neatly, divided in groups to whom the sole master are you yourself. Your mind, as Salazar has so kindly mentioned" she spoke, giving him a small smile to which he replied with a stiff smile and an ironic nod of his head "is a fortress. The skill of Occlumency allows you to choose your battles, so to speak sacrifice some information in order to save what you value most."
Well this already sounded easy. I just had to sort all of the information I currently possessed. Bloody terrific.
"The first exercise that we shall be teaching you is the mere organisation of your mind. What I want you to do is create four distinct, divided and fortified parts of your mind. Imagine it as a circle, containing four areas. The first area will remain unguarded and these are the information you can afford to lose even to the weakest of attacks. At the end of this first area there must be an obstacle, the weakest one of the three, yet strong enough to prevent access to further information. Should this barrier fall, the access to the second area will be free, which I am sure you understand, is something you have to prevent by giving your very best. The second area is important because it represents the intrusion of your privacy, intrusion of your mind. These are the information that you can afford to lose, but would wish to keep to yourself. Behind this area should stand the second obstacle, more powerful and more durable than the first one. It must be virtually impenetrable and you must give your all to defend your third area. This is where you put information that you cannot afford to lose, the information that are extremely important and behind it is where you put your third defence, the ultimate protection. It is imperative that this protection does not fail you, my girls; you must protect this, wall of sorts, with your life. Because beyond it lays the fourth circle, the one where you hide essential information, the kind that can mean the difference between life and death."
We were silent for a moment before Salazar stepped forward, apparently wishing to put more of an emphasis on the importance of keeping the third defence intact.
"I wish that you understand, the fourth area are the information for whose protection you must die." He said, his eyes serious, contemplative, analysing.
"We will give you a moment to think this through, and then you shall create your barriers." Spoke Rowena, and Salazar and her withdrew from the room.
I closed my eyes, focusing intently. These defences should come from me, from my very soul. It would be best they were instinctive. What would I do to prevent someone from seeing the information that I could afford to lose?
I would taunt him, I concluded, imagining doors left slightly ajar, and as a figure stepped towards them they slammed tightly shut, the locks turning, chains fastening themselves and barricading the doors.
But if that fell, and I was assured that such a thing could happen, and I was forced to surrender this information, what would I do to prevent the third area from being accessed? What would I do to stop someone from seeing such vitally important information? Surely panic would be the feeling settling in my chest, and it would be truly unkind were I not to repay the favour to the person assaulting me.
So I imagined water, water as far as the eye can see, in every and any direction, and the figure suspended in the midst of it. Suddenly, the figure realises that they cannot breathe and begin trashing, fighting to get to air. But where is air? Which direction should they swim in? Where was up? They couldn't see, they couldn't tell how to rise to the surface. They were so very lost.
But if they somehow managed to pass this obstacle and my information were forced from me? What then? How do I stop them from reaching the fourth area? I would be desperate by then surely. So, once more, I would do my damn best to return the favour.
I imagined a room, a barren room with nothing in it. And the figure stands in the centre of it, yet cannot see that it is empty. That is to say, the figure cannot see anything at all. He is blind, and everything is so very black. But he is smart as well, he did manage to get through two of my defences before. So he listens. But the room is quiet. Unnaturally so, he cannot hear anything, not his heart beating, not his lungs drawing in a breath. He is deaf. But he does not panic yet. He still has some sense left. He tries to smell, but there is nothing, as if he had no nose. This is when he starts to panic. He tries to stretch his hand and the desperation settles in finally. He does not know which way he stretched his hand, he does not know even if he has an arm. He cannot feel it, he cannot feel anything. He is broken.
And if by some miracle, this defence as well falls, surely I too would fall.
Now that I had chosen my defences, from frustration, to panic, to despair, I decided to sort through my knowledge, organise the wealth of information I possessed.
In the first area I put the memory of reading my favourite book, the memory of having dinner with my grandparents, my first time meeting Arielle and Claudia, how I became the Queen, kicking Malfoy from his chair in my second year, the Hogwarts welcoming feast, my bed, my pillow, Greyclaw…. I could lose these memories for they carried little meaning to anyone other than myself.
In the second area I put my grandfather, the memory of being taught the Pureblood ways, the book of the Kersey ancestry, the memory of the newspaper saying that Sirius managed to escape Azkaban, Tolly, my Gringotts vault. I could lose this information, but I would rather keep it safe and close to my mind.
It was clear to my mind that the fourth area would be the simplest to fill. The first thing that came to mind was Melody, her secrets, her fears, her hiding places. She needed to be safe, it was imperative. Then here were the pictures of my parents, the stories that I heard of them. Here was my secret of being a child of Merlin, along with the secret of my three companions. Here as well were the two men I had killed and all I knew about them. For this information, I would die without a second thought.
And the third part gave me some trouble. Here I knew to place Arielle and her fears, our talks, Claudia and her family, my grandfather teaching me the Dark Arts, telling me about the Death Eaters, all of the information I had on them, all of the information I had on the members of the Slytherin House and suddenly, one more piece of information slipped past me, startling me out of my contemplation. Blaise Zabini was a part of the third area as well, for a reason I simply could not fathom.
I was so startled, so annoyed, so inexplicably angry that I stood up promptly, leaving the room. Thankfully, the lesson was over anyway, so my exit was not that suspicious, but I needed to leave. I needed to walk, I needed to think.
What happened just now? How in the world was he so important? Why? But I knew why. I couldn't kill him and it had been plaguing my mind for the entity of the week. Was my trauma really that great that I could not kill again?
With these dangerous thoughts I walked to my room, lying on my bed and doing my best to find a solution. But I couldn't and I knew that finding a certain red-headed Idiot was the only way I could relieve my mind.