UPDATE: Someone pointed out that I given the wrong name for what is wrong with Light. So I updated it. Everything should be correct now. Thanks!

Hey guys. Long time no see. I want to apologize for not posting in so long. Life just kinda hit me. My car broke down and I had to go get a new one and then I lost y job and had to find a new one. My shift starts at 6:30 in the morning and I don't get home until 4:30 in the evening. And by then I am usually so tired that I just go to bed. And then I got rear ended in my car and it had to be take to the shop and the trunk and bumper had to be replaced and that was a pain in the ass. And now I am having to get a surgery done and my shoulder is all kinds of messed up. I think I pinched a nerve really badly. My hand likes to go numb now. Haha. So typing is a bitch. I can't promise when the next chapter will be out. And I can't say when I will finish editing the first story and put it back up. I am trying, but finding the time where my brain isn't mush is difficult. But thank you all for the kind wishes and messages. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know it's short, but it's something. Love you all. Thank you for your support. And I will see you all again soon. Until then, happy reading! :)

*Light's POV*

It had taken me a moment to place where I had seen the doctor before. I didn't know him, per se, but I knew his face. And when it finally came to me, all I could do was stare. When I wasn't being poked and prodded and stabbed and shoved into machines, I couldn't keep my eyes from him. He had L's dark eyes, but L was right. His hair had come from his mother. And I wasn't sure if it was a family trait, but he was cold just as L had been when we first met. And finally I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"When did you stop working as lawyer?" I questioned when he entered the room with his clipboard held tightly in his fist.

"When I moved to New York, I thought it was time for a change. But My wife wanted to move back here," he mumbled boredly, flipping through papers on the clipboard. He pushed back his greying hair from his face and looked back up, his eyes meeting mine. "You weren't someone whose parents I sent to jail, right?"

"You look like your son," I replied, tapping my fingers on the railing of my bed. I closed my eyes and rested back. Exhausted wouldn't cover how tired I felt, but there wasn't much point in sleeping. Between all of the nurses coming in and out of the room and the lingering fear of another seizure, I didn't want to sleep. I opened my eyes slightly to look over him again. "You must be incredibly smart."

There was a spark of curiosity in his gaze, but it again turned to boredom. "I wouldn't say incredibly smart. I have just worked hard for what I wanted to do." He stepped closer to the bed. "What makes you say that?"

"Both a lawyer and a neurologist take a substantial time to accomplish."

There was no acceptance of the compliment, instead he merely moved on. "We found something in your blood test, but before I put a name to it, I would like to run some more tests. Would that be alright with you?"

"Of course," I answered with a nod. "Anything so that I can get out of this bed and get home." He simply nodded and turned to leave the room to most likely grab a nurse. "Sir?" I called after him. He stopped and turned to face me, annoyance present in his features. "Why?"

"Why what?" he questioned, leaning against the door frame.

"Why did you need a new start?"

"That is personal information that-"

"I am your son-in-law, whether you want to accept it or not," -his eyes flickered over me questioningly- "and I think I have every right to know why you left your son to start a new life." The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. I looked down at my hands, shyly playing with my ring. I wasn't sure what made the words come out, but there they were, hanging in the air.

The silence that followed was tense and made me bite my lip. I had been out of line. I just wasn't sure how someone could leave someone like L. He was difficult at times and he wasn't what people thought of as normal, but he was brilliant and caring and more than the front he put up.

When I looked back up, I could see Rupert's eyes on my ring that I was still playing with nervously. There was a flicker of an expression over his face, but I couldn't make out exactly what it was. Maybe understanding.

"Then you are family," he mumbled, looking away again and digging back through my chart, most likely trying to avoid me. "This is not the time or the place. If you would like to discuss this later, then I will do so. But at the moment, I am your doctor and you are my patient, and we will retain that boundary. I will send in someone to go over things with you in more detail."

I felt so small next to him. It was strange. Maybe it was his confidence, or the fact that my life was in danger and Rupert was the best that I had, but he was intimidating. What was wrong with me? I was once the most hunted and praised man in the world and I could hardly look this man in the eye. And even after he had left the room, his presence was still there. Something about him lingered.

A nurse entered the room and explained to me the situation, but all I could come up with was that he had used a nurse to escape from me, from the questions. I highly doubted that he wanted to be anywhere near either L or me.

"Lead poisoning?" I asked softly, repeating the nurse's words. That didn't seem right. That must have been why Rupert wanted to run more tests. My symptoms were more extreme than what the solution on lead poisoning had to offer.

"We would like to take another blood sample and we will be doing a follow up with your home to make sure that it's not in the water," the nurse explained, pushing her hair back behind her ear. "I can go get what we need for the blood testing, if you are ok with it."

I gave a nod, still thinking over everything that she had said. I wasn't sure why it would be in our house if this really was lead poisoning. I spent as much time with L as I could and he wasn't ill.

"What is your line of work?" the nurse questioned.

"I work in the homicide sector of Scotland Yard. But I haven't worked in the office or been to a place with enough exposure to cause me to fall ill without others also being affected," I thought aloud.

The nurse left the room as I racked my brain for some answer to what they had found. Lead poisoning didn't happen overnight. It took a long time to manafest, so I had no idea where I would have gotten it. The only time I wasn't with L was when I went to Japan, work or school. But I had been out of school for a long time and Sayu would be sick. And if I wasn't with L at home, I was with Adam at work and he hadn't seemed to be ill from what I could remember.

The nurse left and returned with the necessary items for the tests and then went back on her way. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do at this point. I knew resting was number one, but I didn't want to rest. This was the clearest my mind had felt in however long I had been locked away in my mind and I wanted to work.

Or maybe I had slept. Because when I came back from my mind, I was no longer in that horrible room alone, I was back in my assigned room with both Sayu and L and... Ryuk.

I felt my chest tighten and I bit my tongue. How long had he been here? I tried to push that from my mind and looked back at L who was sitting beside Sayu, helping her with her homework, I assumed.

I almost wished I had homework. Something to distract me from the giant monster in the room. Something to make my brain think, make my brain work. A puzzle, but not one of life or death. A math equation would be just fine. That would be more than enough to save me from myself.

And the room was quiet. The two didn't seem to have noticed me and were talking quietly to themselves, in so soft a tone that I couldn't hear a thing, only see their lips moving. I wanted to speak, but my mouth felt like I had swallowed sand and so I wasn't sure if I could make any noise even if I wanted to.

But there were eyes on me. Large yellow eyes. I turned my gaze to them and there was a dazzlingly horrid smile greeting me.

"Have you figured it out yet?" he asked me. I could see L pause in his work and glance up from Ryuk and then to me. I stayed silent, eyes returning to Ryuk. I gave a small shake of my head, unsure to what he was referring to. "The death note. The one in Japan."

L had gone back to helping Sayu who was still working away. I could tell L was still listening intently though. And Sayu. There was something in the way she sat. Something uncomfortable, free hand clenched into a fist under her makeshift table.

I gave a shrug in reply to Ryuk. That trip to Japan had seemed so far away now. Like a horrible fuzzy nightmare that would repeat over and over again until the day I died, however long that day would take to get here.

"You don't know whose it is yet?" Ryuk questioned, a sneer on his lips. "You're getting too slow and soft Light. And I'm sad that L hasn't figured it out yet either."

I wanted to snap at him. Inform him that I had been in and out of consciousness for the better part of a week and L had been with me through all of it. Of course I hadn't been trying to figure out whose death note I had been given. That had been the very last thing on my mind. I shot him a dark look and the shinigami just laughed in his weird gravely way.

"I told you that a fan had given it to you," Ryuk pushed.

I saw Sayu shift slightly, and continue writing down something that L was pointing to on her computer screen. I looked over her again, analyzing. There was something wrong. Something making her on edge. She had never been very good at hiding her emotions from me. I could always tell when she was sad or upset or hurt. And this was one of those times. Her hand had left its place on her lap and was now tangled in her hair, her elbow holding her head up. Her right knee bounced and she was biting her lip, almost as if she wanted to say something. Like she was holding back a shout. She tapped her pen on her paper, her eyes glancing around the room, coming to stop on me.

"You're awake," she said, a large smile covering her lips and her tightness immediately draining away. She got to her feet and walked over to the bedside, leaving L behind to glare at the shinigami. She pushed her pen behind her ear and took one of my hands in hers. "How are you feeling?" I gave a shrug, forcing myself not to look at Ryuk. "Would you like some water?" she questioned. I gave a nod and she dropped my hand to fill up my cup that was beside my bed. She passed it to me and I took a sip. She leaned over, close to me. "You can stop pretending," she whispered before placing a kiss to my forehead and taking the cup back from my hand.

I stared at her as she placed the cup down and left my side. I wanted to ask, but before I could even open my mouth, a figure walked into the room. Rupert.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired, coming over to me. I pulled my eyes from Sayu and looked over the tired looking man.

"I'm ok," I croaked out softly. "I'm assuming you have news?"

"I would like to speak to my son first, if you don't mind," was Rupert's reply. L gave a curious look, and stood from his chair, following his father from the room. I stared after them at the empty doorway. It was silent for a moment and I began to grow anxious, my chest going tight.

"Fuck," came L's voice. "How the hell is that even possible?" I sat up a little straighter, my back aching. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. What do we do?" I wanted to know. What was wrong? What weren't they telling me? I needed to know. I pushed scratchy the blanket from my bare legs shakily got to my feet. Sayu rushed over and tried to push me back down. My legs collapsed under the extra weight and I sat back on the thin mattress, my head spinning dangerously. But I didn't care. I had to know.

"Ryuzaki!" Sayu called, trying to keep a steady grip on my shoulders. "Help me get him back in bed!"

L raced in, followed by Rupert and L took Sayu's place, hands on my shoulders. The room was folding inside out somehow and I could feel my stomach churn.

"Lay back down," L instructed.

"He's going to be sick," Rupert said from somewhere behind L and the next thing I knew, my hands had a container in them and I was emptying my already extremely empty stomach into it. L's hand ran soothing circle's into my back, his other hand holding back my hair. "You shouldn't be out of bed," the doctor continued, his voice closer, though I couldn't see through the tears in my eyes. "I know you're smarter than that."

The object was removed from my hands and L released my hair, helping me lie back down. He took my hand, but I didn't dare open my eyes. I didn't want to see his expression. I was positive that is was disappointment.

"Light, I need to speak to Adam. Can I see your phone?" L asked softly, his cool hand pressing to my forehead. "He has a fever."

"He should rest. I'll have the nurse get another IV drip going," Rupert's voice said and footsteps left the room.

"Light, can I use your phone?"

"What's wrong?" I asked through a cracking voice, my insides squirming uncomfortably.

"Not right now, love," L replied softly, a kiss being placed to one of my cheeks, though I couldn't make out which at the moment. "Please get some sleep. I'm going to call Adam and see what's going on."

"Why do you need to call Adam?" I questioned, trying to open my eyes, but swiftly closing them when the light from the hall blinded me.

"Hush, love. Later. When you wake up, we'll talk."

"No, now." I said in as strong a voice as I could, though I was sure my vocal cords had betrayed me. "Why do you need to speak to Adam? What's wrong with me? Why do you keep calling me love?"

"I need to know where you've been while you've been at work with him," L whispered, placing a kiss to my head. "You're going to be ok."

"That isn't reassuring," I muttered, clutching tightly to L's hand so he couldn't move away.

I wish I knew what I was feeling, All I knew was that everything was wrong and I was all messed up. So messed up that I couldn't even tell if I was still holding L's hand anymore.

"Why were you swearing?" I pressed, hoping that I would get some sort of information out of him. Anything. Anything at all. I forced my eyes to open and squinted through the light in the room. "Why do you need to talk to Adam. You have to give me something."

I could see L stiffen and he hesitated, obviously hoping that I would drop the conversation. I could feel his hand give mine a squeeze, but I wasn't sure which hand it was. "It was not lead poisoning."

"Of course it wasn't," I muttered, nodding my head and immediately wishing I hadn't. "My symptoms don't match. What is it?"

L didn't reply. I waited for moment, but I could tell he wouldn't say anything. I looked towards Rupert, who had returned to the room with a nurse, who had another saline IV drip ready to go.

"Tell me," I ordered.

Rupert moved closer and I could see the begging look in L's eyes. Rupert ignored his son and took a deep breath. "Cyanide poisoning." My brain stopped and I could barely make out the words he was speaking as he continued. "We are going to start you on several treatments. We're hoping that the cyanide hasn't bound to your tissues yet. That will be much harder to treat. Not impossible, but a good outcome is rare. And we have no way of telling if is organic or not. We just have to hope that is organic. That will be much easier to flush from your system."

I opened my mouth to speak but it took a moment for the words to come. "Why do you need to speak to Adam?"

"I need to know where you two have been. If he has seen anything suspicious," L explained softly.

"Ok," I muttered. "What do you need from me?"

"We just need you to rest," Rupert replied.

"Just rest?" I questioned. "I can't just rest. I need something to do. I need to help you figure things out."

"I can give you a case to work," L offered. "But you are not going to worry over yourself. You are going to rest and do whatever Rupert asks of you while I work with Adam." I tried to argue, but L cut me off. "Light, I mean it. You need to stay right here and rest. Do you understand?"

I sighed and reluctantly replied, "Yes. I understand."

L had given me a case to work and had gone out into the hall with my phone to call Adam and Sayu had returned to her homework. Ryuk had disappeared without a word and Rupert had started me on a round of medication that was making my stomach churn.

I did my best to push the feeling away and look over the paperwork that L had given me with his notes scratched in lowercase and capital letters mixed. Something about a young girl having been found on the side of a jogging trail, covered in bruises. And no one knew what had happened to her. Seizures were blamed, but there had never been an autopsy.

I shivered at the idea. I couldn't imagine being dragged so far into yourself that you never came back. It was already terrifying enough to come out of it and not remember a single thing, not even something as simple as your own name. To just be gone... What a horrible idea.

L had written haphazardly on one of the sticky notes to speak to the M.E. who had been on scene. I dug through the pages that were there in the file and eventually found a name. A Carl J. Tusi. I would have to look him up, but that wouldn't be the easiest thing. The UK ad strict medical laws to follow and I wasn't sure if it would be as easy as just googling his name. L could probably find the name for me, but he was still gone.

"Sayu?" I called and she looked up from the notebook she was scribblinging furiously. She looked slightly dazed and it took a moment for her eyes to come back to life and her to answer me.

"Yeah?"

"Could you search a medical professional for me and see if you can find a current phone number. I'm not sure if you can, but-"

"What's his name?" she interrupted me, hands moving to her computer.

"Carl J. Tusi," I answered, looking over the notes, making sure I was correct. "He's a M.E."

"Found him," she said quickly, standing and bringing her laptop over to me.

"How did you do that so quickly?" I pushed myself up a bit more as she came over to me.

"I searched his name and it said that he moved to the US. They use NPI number to track their providers. I looked him up in and found his NPI number, as well as a possible facility address and phone number."

"NPI number?" I questioned, confused as I looked over the website she had up.

"It's a National Provider Identifier. It's a series of numbers that the US government uses on the provider's tax forms," Sayu explained, passing me a pen so that I could write down the phone number.

"How do you know this?" I would have never in a million years, known that there was a website specifically made to search for providers.

"You didn't know that I did a summer internship for a medical records retrieval company?"

I paused and looked up at her, confused. "No? When did you do this?"

"Over the summer. There are facilities in New York that are owned by Asian culture families and don't know English very well and so we call and handle their requests."

"I didn't know that-"

"What a load of shit," came L's voice as he walked into the room. He passed me my phone and sighed. "I have some things I need to take care of, Light. Are you alright if I leave?"

"What's wrong?" I asked softly. I wanted to know the answer, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to tell me.

"I have to go do something for you. But Adam said that there has been a mass killing just now and they need someone there. So I need to go take care of that too."

"Are-are you going to be ok?" I asked, my hand reaching out towards him. He took it in his and gave me a small smile in return.

"I will be fine. I might not be used to field work, but Adam did ask for me."

"Adam isn't usually the brightest of people," I muttered, my other hand rubbing my eyes. "He's not in charge. You could get in trouble and-"

"I will be fine," L insisted. "The chances of me getting injured in anyway are slim to none. I will just go figure out what is going on. It's connected to the Kira case. It's important. I need to know why he's attacking here."

I exhaled deeply. L hadn't been this energetic in a long time. He wanted to go. But I could also see the guilt creeping up in his dark eyes.

"You'll come back, right?"

L gave a confused look as if he couldn't comprehend what I was asking him.

"Of course," he replied with a small nod. "Why would I not?" I bit my lip and realization slipped across his features. "Oh. I can stay if you would like. I'm sure they don't need me."

"Just come back after. It's ok," I muttered, though I didn't want him to go. I didn't want him gone from my sight. And maybe it was me being selfish. Extremely selfish. I had had him to myself for the last few days. Completely mine. But he was what made me feel safe and I didn't want that feeling to go.

"I will be back as soon as I can," L said with a bright smile. "You rest and take care of yourself. I love you."

I didn't like that. I didn't like those words one bit. Anyone else would find those words extremely comforting, but they never meant anything good when he said them. It was a goodbye. And I wasn't sure why he was saying it. Was it in case I got worse? Did he know something I didn't? Or did he plan on something going wrong when he left?

"I love you too," I whispered, the words getting stuck in my throat.

And there was no kiss. No goodbye. Not even a squeeze to my hand. L released his grip on my hand and turned from me, leaving the room.

"I hate when you speak in English," Sayu said from beside me, causing me to jump. I had forgotten she was there. I looked up at her and she gave an apologetic smile. "I don't have to know English to know that there's something wrong." I opened my mouth to speak and she held her hand up to silence me. "I don't need to know. It's ok. I have a few more paragraphs of an essay to write and I'm done with homework. I can help you with the case, if you need. Be someone to bounce ideas off of or something. Give that doctor a call."

She moved from beside me and went back to her table.

I glanced down at the number I had written down and picked up my phone. I typed in the number and placed the phone to my ear, listening to the ringing. I didn't care what time zone he was in or what time it was there. I needed something to distract me and he was what it was going to be.

"Hello?" A tired voice asked on the other side of the line. "Dr. Tusi speaking."