A/N: I'm really sorry about the delay, and even more sorry to have to say that I am not sure when I'll be posting again. But still, please stay tuned, and I will post as often as I can. Thank you for the reviews.
Chapter 35: Whisper
Two weeks passed in sunshine and warmth, and then, with no warning whatsoever, I awoke to find the grounds completely covered in a thick layer of crisp snow. With February long behind us, it was my hope that days of slipping and sliding had taken their leave alongside it.
It was not to be, it seemed, but I would not allow such conditions to deter me from taking an afternoon stroll with my familiar.
I found my annoyance with the snow beneath my feet echoed in the sentiments of my familiar, but the cold, nipping air did me some good. I was sure that my cheeks and nose were red, and I buried my gloved hands deeper into my pockets.
It was only yesterday that I had been allowed to discard my shawls and gloves, only to be forced to use them once more. How bothersome.
I had no conscious thought of my destination, allowing my feet to decide our direction and they lead me, as was so often their custom, to the shores of the Black Lake. Serpen found refugee from the cold and snow on the branch of the tree on my left, pleased indeed with me for clearing the snow off his intended resting place.
The lake was not frozen, and I watched as the surface creased, producing a single, large, curiously pink tentacle. It was gone as soon as it appeared, the Giant Squid no doubt deeming it by far too cold to linger on the surface. She too was disappointed with how horrid this March weather was proving to be.
And yet it proved most useful in clearing my thoughts, allowing me to arrange my mind as I wished, creating a schedule that I would abide in order to act on every responsibility I had looming over me.
It was quiet. Almost too quiet. The Dark Lord was waiting, and so were we. The only trouble is, the four of us were not aware as to what we were waiting for.
My grandfather was old. And with each passing day, I was more and more aware of this upsetting fact. It used to be the case that we exchanged two letters weekly, now, not a day goes by without me receiving a letter of his. And rarely did it come alone.
One more year, and I would be of age, and I knew, as it was perfectly clear, that all of the responsibilities would transfer from the shoulders of my grandfather to my own.
I sighed, closing my eyes.
I could spare only ten more minutes. If only this war would end so-
Suddenly, something wet and cold hit the nape of my neck, making me stumble forward a bit, my wand slipping down my sleeve into my waiting fingers.
I spun on my heel, ready to murder whoever thought that throwing a snowball at me of all the people in Hogwarts would be a good idea, and stopped abruptly as I recognised the figure standing opposite me.
It was clear to me then why Serpen had given no sign of distress, why he had provided no warning, and I glanced up at him, only to see that his emerald eyes were observing me with a fond kind of annoyance.
He had been forced to stir from his rest, and uncurl to allow Merlin to scoot inside, now surrounded by my snake who was generous enough to provide warmth for the falcon.
"Melody" I spoke, putting my wand away and tilting my head forward so that I could clear the snow that was chilling me to the bone. It had already started melting, and I shivered as two ice cold drops of water slipped down my neck and to my cleavage. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing?"
She gave me a big, toothy grin, her face lighting with the smile, and responded : "I don't know. What am I doing sis?"
I frowned at her, and she swung her arm once more, hurtling a snowball in my direction.
I leaned left out of pure instinct, narrowly avoiding the snow. Out of all the talents she could have had, why did a good arm have to be one of them?
She laughed out loud at my expression, bending in her knees to the ground and setting about forming some more snowballs.
"Melody, this is hardly appropriate." I chided, but her smile never faltered.
"I know." She spoke, looking up at me from the curtain her hair formed around her face. She had chosen to wear a woollen hat of purple colour, and it was doing nothing to help tame her already disobedient curly hair.
"Then why…" I started to say, but was interrupted as she once more hurled a ball of snow at me, accompanied with more laughing.
"I'm having a snowball fight Linds" smiled she at me, "but it's no fun if you're not throwing balls back you know."
"Surely you have something more useful to do?" I asked, eyeing the snowball she held in her hand, knowing that it would once more end up attempting to hit my face.
"This is plenty useful." Grinned she, once more attempting to hit me.
Well, there really was only one way to get through to her when she got like this, and that was beating her at her own game.
"You asked for this." I called, bending down and forming a small, perfectly round snowball.
I looked up from this task, only to see that she had dropped to her knees, hurriedly forming snowballs around herself, and I knew the strategy well. She'd build up a bloody fortress of those snowballs, and then, she'd hurl them with incredible speed at me.
I was slower, much, much slower, and I'd be damned if I let her win.
I glanced up, only to see her focused on her work, her hair flying around her as she scampered around the floor, and I waved my hand, having the snow around me gather in five separate, perfectly formed snowballs.
She had not noticed a thing, and I waved my hand once more, almost catching up to her in terms of numbers.
One more wave was all I needed, but as the last balls began to form, my sister chose to look up, her eyes growing wide at the sight before her.
"No fair! You're cheating!" she accused, jumping to her, feet, no less than three balls in her hands.
"Am I?" I smirked, and threw my very first snowball of the year at her, forcing her to turn to the side, giggling as to how far off the mark my ball had been.
"You're not that good at this are you?" she asked, and I smirked as she turned, only to see a snowball an inch away from her face. She had no time to close her mouth and I laughed outright at her expression as she spit out snow.
Her mouth was frowning, but I could see her eyes glisten with mirth.
"It's on!" she called, throwing two balls in succession at me, and I ducked, running to my pile and receiving a blow to my leg. But somehow, I did not mind the wet clothes, all I wanted to do was win.
I grabbed three snowballs, throwing them at her one after the other, failing miserably.
She laughed loudly, and exchanged a few more snowballs with me.
I remembered playing this game with her a couple of times when we were children, but it seems it was not nearly enough, for I could not hit her more than twice for the life of me. She had had more experience, as our grandmother allowed her to do as she pleased, however unbefitting it may have been.
I ducked once more, turning my head to the side, only to see my little pile reduced to two balls. At least one of these would be a hit, I promised myself, rising from my hunched position and seeing that my sister was already making her way to her own pile, which had a dozen balls left.
But two balls were enough, I smirked, breaking out in a run, keeping an eye on my sister, prepared to avoid any snow she may wish to project my way.
I fell to one knee quickly as I saw my sister rising, three snowballs again in hands, placing one of the snowballs in the pocket of my coat, and taking a hold of the other one with my right hand.
"Wait!" I called, as she threw her arm back, ready to throw. Her eyes focused on the one snowball I had in my hand, and then glanced at the barren space beneath my feet.
"I only have one snowball left." I spoke, lying shamelessly "How about we each throw one last ball? Whoever wins get to pick what the loser has to do."
She frowned at me, most likely not wishing for the fun to end, but her eyes lit up with something that could not possibly bode well for me. She had an idea of what she would have me do if she won, and we both knew that this was a more than likely outcome.
"Anything?" she asked, her lips stretching in an impish smile.
"Within reason." I agreed, hopping that the price for my little prank would not be too great. Or else I'd made another promise to her that I could not keep.
"Deal!" she called, immediately dropping two snowballs.
As she glanced at the floor, I used the chance to produce the second ball, holding it next to the one in my right hand and murmured an illusion spell. She'd never know what hit her.
Well, snow would, I thought, fighting back a smirk.
"Can I go first?" she asked, the eagerness in her voice completely clear.
"As you please." I responded, and she grinned, swinging her hand back.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact, and I could not help but think how well she played into my trap. What an honest little thing she was, she believed my every word, despite knowing who she was talking to.
I had expected her to aim for my head, as she had done before, and my breath hitched as the snowball hit me straight in the chest, the blow having more power than I would have imagined.
"Well done." I smiled, opening my eyes, only to see her grinning from ear to ear. She knew that she had won, and I knew it as well. Why not make the most out of it?
"Thanks!" she exclaimed "Give me your best shot!"
Oh I will, I'd make damn sure that this one was a hit.
"Don't mind if I do." I smiled, taking a large swing, most likely too large, and throwing the ball straight ahead, watching with slight dejection as it crashed into the ground two feet before my sister, who stared at the small hole created in the fresh snow.
She began laughing wildly, her shoulders shaking as she looked up, finding my lack of skill rather amusing.
But a small smirk pulled on my lips as well, and that should have been a fair warning, had she been able to see it through the tears that formed in her eyes from the laughter.
It was another two seconds or so, just before it was about to hit her, that my snowball appeared seemingly out of nowhere, my well cast illusion spell wearing off in just the right time. Naturally, it was a clear hit, my sister having time only to open her eyes wide in her surprise, the smile still on her lips.
As her mouth was open, she got a rather large mouthful of snow, and she blinked once, before she started spitting it back out.
There was a look of disgust on her face, and she scrunched up her nose, raising her mittened hand to her tongue, trying to wipe it off.
I laughed at the look on her face, amused by how disgusted she was with a little frozen water, thus making a rather costly mistake.
She seized her attempts to dust herself off, and slowly, deliberately looked up.
I felt my chest constrict at the look on her face, as if someone had hit me, knocking out all of the air I once accumulated.
Her large eyes were no longer happy, there was no smile gracing her lips, there was no light to her face. It had become dark, ominous, angry.
She gave me one last, disappointed look, and turned around on her heel, angrily stomping her way back to the castle.
Oh no.
I broke out into a run after her, a thousand thoughts in my mind, unbelievable anger in my heart. Why was I so bloody thick? Why did I have to cheat? Why did I ruin every good thing I had in my life so easily, so effortlessly?
"Melody!" I called, fighting my way after her through the snow, noticing that it had started to snow heavily once more, the sporadic snowflakes I had taken no notice of while we were still enjoying out little match now turning in a covering of white that hindered my movement and obscured my vision. I pulled on the hood of my cloak, hurrying my pace.
"Melody wait!" I called once more, my voice sounding muffled even to my own ears, but still painfully aware that she could hear me.
And that she didn't bother answering me by even so much as acknowledging the fact that I had spoken at all. I had messed up bad this time, now that things were getting a bit better between us.
Congratulations Rosalind, I thought, gaining on my sister, you truly are a monster.
"Melody!" I yelled, extending my arm towards her, a few steps behind her.
Another moment and I'd catch up.
"Melody!"I called, grabbing hold of her arm and stopping her in her tracks.
"Melody please." I said, by now close to desperation as she still stood there silent. "Listen."
Nothing. Not even a breath.
"I'm sorry, I-"I started, but got interrupted as she shook my hand off, only to intertwine her fingers with mine.
Before I could wonder as to what she was doing, she took a violent step back and threw herself backwards in a heap of snow. As our hands were still joined, the momentum pulled me down as well, with me hitting the ground with a loud hmph.
I lay there in the snow for a moment, in pure shock.
"Linds?" I heard my sister ask, hesitance now present in her voice, bringing me out of my stupor.
I raised my left arm to my face, covering my eyes so that snow would not get into them, and started laughing.
She tricked me.
With this thought, I opened my mouth, unable to contain my laughter any longer. Another voice joined in, and my sister and I lay in the snow, laughing like two complete mental cases.
She was planning this from the moment she threw her first snowball. She faked her anger. She was leading me to this heap of snow. She had managed to trick me.
I do not know how much time we had spent there, but I know that we were lying in the snow for a while after our laughter died out, our cloaks the only thing sheltering us from the cold. But we were satisfied, just lying in the snow like two children, holding hands.
"So Linds" called Melody, turning her head a bit so that she could see me. "does this mean I win?"
She had a wide, infectious smile pulling on her lips, and I could not help but smile as well.
"I was going to admit your victory even before your little feat. But having managed to trick me, of all of the people in the world, indeed little sister, well done."
She pouted shortly at me, exclaiming some nonsense about her being the older sibling. Irrelevant.
The smile was still fixed on her face. Very relevant indeed.
"You have one wish, use it wisely." I smiled at her, and watched with surprise as her smile faded from her lips, and as she turned her head to stare at the cloak of grey above our heads.
"Melody?" I called, unable to believe that I had made a mistake in granting her the reward she had more than deserved.
"You know, there are many things I could ask for." She spoke, still observing the sky, "But most of those things, you either could not grant me, or would not."
"Melody, you know-" I started to protest, unable to fathom that she still did not comprehend just how far I would go for my family, and her most of all.
"Stop." She interrupted me, rather rudely at that, "That's not what I meant."
What could she possibly have meant?
"You would not have the power to grant me my request, let's put it that way. There are some things even you could not do."
Silence seemed to follow the snowflakes that settled on our faces, and an ominous feeling found its home in my heart.
"I stopped hopping that this war would disappear on its own." She whispered, and I had to struggle to hear her "I stopped believing that we can win with a disarming charm. These people… they took mom and dad."
My heart stopped at that, knowing how the dull pain somewhere in her chest reminded my sister of our loss every day. I knew, for it tore at me as well.
"If we want to win… I can't hold you back, Grandmother told me a bit about it, and I guessed as much… I know that you must make alliances you officially do not have, walk in the darkest allies, alone, meet people of the most gruesome, horrible kind, learn things I cannot even imagine… "
She stopped at that, taking in a deep breath, and it surprised me how much she knew about that dark part of our community. She must have forced grandmother to disclose information she had no business disclosing.
"I wanted to stop you, I wanted to pull you away from those horrible people, but now I know that it has to be done. And that it has to be you who does it. It's our best chance sis. And therefore, as the best I am likely to get, I will use this one favour I earned myself. I use it now, to make you promise, no matter what you do, no matter who you meet, no matter how long you are gone or who you are with….. you will always find your way home."
My heart clenched painfully, and she turned her expectant blue eyes towards me.
I could not lie in that moment, not to her, not to myself.
I didn't want to die.
And I would.
But even then, I would make sure that my body, if nothing else, found its way back home.
I'd come home to her.
"I promise." I spoke, giving her hand a little squeeze.
If asked, most would say that a heart breaks with a scream. That night, I found out that it breaks with a whisper.
The ice cold, biting wind and the cover of white that descended from the sky were as quick in leaving our presence as they had been in their surprise appearance. Grey clouds gave way to clouds of white, the gloomy sky turned blue, and the sun above us replaced the biting wind with its warm rays. The days were getting longer now, and winter was at its end.
I had to wait longer now for the dark of the night to replace the light of the day, and the particular affair that had arisen needed my immediate, and uh, exclusive, attention. So it was late evening that I had chosen to attend to this troublesome duty of mine, and I could barely discern Greyclaw as he soared up from the window of the owlery, high up, in the night, and it was seconds before he vanished from my sight.
"How troublesome" I murmured, crouching down beside my familiar and stroking his head lightly, earning myself a satisfied hiss.
We headed back and I noticed that it was darker than before, making me realize that this duty must have taken up more time than I had imagined it would. It would be a troublesome night, I concluded, thinking about the many letters that still awaited my attention, stacked neatly in my trunk, locked for safekeeping.
In that particular moment, I could not guess how troublesome the night would prove to be.
I had pulled my hair up in a tight bun, to get it out of the way, and was regretting the decision with all my heart as the cold night air nipped at the nape of my neck. The days may have gotten warmer, but the nights were still outrageously cold.
One could therefore understand the significant amount of relief I felt as my palm made contact with the wood of the door, pushing the large, heavy doors open and the satisfaction I felt when I heard the clicking of my heels on the marble floor.
I was much warmer already, which was already a significant improvement to my mood, but another form of entertainment presented itself when a fourth year Gryffindor girl appeared from the very same corridor I was about to enter, carrying a tray with sandwiches and what appeared to be pumpkin juice.
Serpen was quick to recognise his chance, and he rose his head, meeting my eyes in a silent plea for permission. I could find no harm in a little fun, and I nodded my head lightly, almost imperceptibly, my eyes focusing on the girl who had not noticed me yet, her eyes focused on the tray in her hands, careful not to spill the beverage.
A muggleborn, I concluded, for no self-respecting pureblood would be as thick as to neglect casting a simple balancing spell on the tray and not totter around with it like a two year old.
This fact was rather beneficial for Serpen as he slithered across the marble floor towards her, taking up a significant portion of the floor and still, remarkably, managing not to be seen.
A couple of more seconds, and he would be in place, I thought as I stopped, standing back a bit so that I was hidden behind a gargoyle, therefore not giving away my familiar's plan.
The girl still did not notice a single thing, which was rather remarkable since a two metre long snake was now lying in her way, beneath her feet, and her pumpkin juice was still the only thing on her mind.
One second, she is watching her sandwiches, the next she is sent flying forward, curly, sandy hair flying everywhere, sandwiches, along with the goblet, flying upwards, and in a feat of remarkable agility, or possibly luck, she had managed to catch all of her sandwiches. She was not as lucky with the goblet, that had turned around in flight, spilling its entire contents on the front of her, mind you, white shirt.
She was drenched, and miserable, and positively hilarious.
I could barely contain my laughter, and I got out from my hiding place, giggling to myself, and drawing her attention towards me. Her face turned ashen, and then scarlet, and she glared at me with all she was worth, only making herself more ludicrous.
She spun on her heel as Serpen moved, once more approaching me, mirth evident in his demeanour as well, and disappeared up the staircase leading to the moving stairways.
As I had said about one of her more prominent housemates, most Gryffindors do not make good wizards and witches, with some notable exceptions, but they were simply wonderful court jesters.
Yet, my joy and entertainment were not meant to last, and as I made a couple of steps forward, a wide smile on my lips, a cold sensation, akin to ice cold water being spilt over your skin, appeared on my left wrist.
No.
I stopped abruptly in my steps, almost hesitant in reaching to my wrist. I had told them not to use it, I had forbidden them to use it, unless there was a matter of most grievance that needed my attention. Unless it was life or death.
It was another second before I snapped out of my shock and I reached to my arm pulling the sleeve upwards in a swift, almost violent movement, uncovering my wrist that was bathed in silvery glow, as if of moonlight reflecting off the surface of the water.
My wrist sported a single, thin silver bracelet with one single, thin, silver plate, now barren of words in preparation for its task.
I did not miss a worried look from Serpen who sensed the change in my mood, but I could pay him no mind as I awaited the magic to do as it was bidden. The first stroke of the emerald green ink was accompanied by my heart skipping a beat, as I watched the invisible hand write out a name in elegant, cursive handwriting. Astoria.
I felt as though lead had been dropped in my stomach, and it was now impossibly heavy, drawing me towards the ground, ignorant of the pleas that erupted from my heart. Please let her be safe.
Another moment, a few seconds, and the name disappeared, only to be replaced, ever so slowly it seemed to me, by another three words, the limit of the plate, stating: Linda, come now.
I had started to walk at that moment, not realising that the message was not complete, my pace calculated at just a fast enough rate so that I was not running, merely walking very, very, very quickly.
I had not seen that final word until much later, until I was aware of the tragedy that brought forth such urgency. Which was just as well, for, had I seen it then, all dignity would have been lost. It was just one word. Please.
A couple of seconds were enough for my training to prove most useful, calming my nerves somewhat and cooling my head. In such situations, it was most important to keep a straight head, and to prevent your panic from taking over. If that happened, you could not help anyone, not even yourself.
It couldn't have been Death Eaters, I concluded as I passed by a seventh year Slytherin boy, who nodded politely in greeting. Had Death Eaters been at large in the castle, or Merlin forbid, our common room, he could not have possibly been that calm and collected. But this realization did little to ease my mind, and I still shook my right hand a bit, having my wand slip down my sleeve and into my waiting fingers. It wouldn't do for me to be caught at a disadvantage, however slight it may have been.
It was something important, something pressing, something that needed my urgent attention, for Astoria would not have called in any other case. She was a smart child, she knew the consequences of raising alarms for fires that were not present.
I hissed out the password a couple of steps in front of the wall, and watched as the bricks moved, opening a passage for me and then closing behind me again, not once breaking my stride.
My eyes scanned the hallway in front of me, searching for any sign of commotion, listening for the screams, watching for the lights of spells clashing.
My suspicions were confirmed as I walked on, the only thing I could hear being the light snoring of some portraits, quite chatter among the others, the sound of my heels clicking against the stone floor and the distant murmur of hushed conversations in the common room.
Somehow, this proved all the more dangerous, for I could not guess the nature of the danger Astoria found herself in, and could not therefore be prepared to tackle it. I was not even sure I was searching in the right place.
My heart hammered against my ribcage as adrenaline coursed through my veins, panic attempting once more to claim my mind, and I jumped a little as an armour moved to my side.
I hurried my pace a bit at that, my nerves now at the very edge, and as I walked down the stairs into the common room, I found that it was half empty. I was still not certain about the time, but I guessed that it was long past ten o'clock.
My eyes surveyed every couch, every recliner, every armchair, raising more than a few heads, meeting more than a few eyes, but still finding no sign of the dark haired child. Fear formed a lump in my throat and I struggled to swallow, hearing a distressed hiss from Serpen. He couldn't find her either, and despite not quite understanding what the problem was, he was eager to help.
I surveyed the room once more, and a peculiar situation caught my eye.
On one couch next to mine, actually, right opposite mine, sat Alphonse, turned towards the fire. There was something wrong with him, I could tell, even if one disregarded the fact that he was holding a crystal glass filled with amber liquid that glistened in reflection of the ember flames. His dark brown hair was messy, but not in a stylized manner, more as if he had run his hands repeatedly through it, pulling and tugging.
The rest of his appearance was no better, his tie was hanging loosely down his messily buttoned up shirt, which was also not tucked in.
He rested his elbow on a small table made of dark wood, and next to his elbow was a bottle of Firewhisky, if my eyes were not deceiving me, and it looked like this was not his first glass.
He looked down at his drink, swirled it a bit in his glass, and then downed it. He immediately reached for the bottle, and I watched as he downed another drink, which disturbed me greatly. I had never known him to drink Firewhisky, especially not in the common room of all places. Alphonse surprised me by turning around, his eyes passing me as if he did not notice me at all, and as I followed his gaze I realized that it had stopped on the hallway leading to the stairs that in turn lead to the dormitories. Somehow, I knew that he was not looking for a male student.
He snapped his head back, with such speed that I wondered if he'd suffer an injury, and downed another drink, with speed even Sirius himself would not be ashamed off. He remained turned in a better angle this time, and I had a better look at his face as he drank.
He cringed at the taste, but it did not repulse him enough to stop him from pouring himself another shot.
I could not bear to watch more, and I turned my eyes from him, deciding in the process to deal with him as soon as I solved the problem my young cousin was facing. I could not allow a member of my legion to destroy himself with liquor.
As it happened, I was not the only one observing the boy, and I met another set of eyes, this time not moss green, as Alphonse's were when he was not drunk, but dark brown, if not black. Blaise was sitting a little way off from Alphonse, but turned so that he could see him quite clearly. A jolt went through me as our eyes met, and I could not take my eyes off of him, feeling as if a hamster had once more found residence in my stomach, and was now doing summersaults out of pure joy.
We remained in an infernally long staring contest, and I blinked, looking away, recognising that his eyes were sad. Something bad had happened and I had a nasty feeling it was connected to Astoria.
I looked back at Blaise as I had that thought, knowing that I could not afford to overlook anything, and he answered my unspoken plea for information with a slow, deliberate incline of his head to the right. Towards the stairs.
I turned at that, now certain that I would find my answer in the dormitories, and therefore missed the boy getting up, and walking over to Alphonse, and having a seat opposite him, on my couch.
If it was possible for me to be in more hurry than I had been before entering the room, it was most certainly the case now. I was almost running up the stairs, taking two to three at a time, Serpen doing his best to slither up at the same pace, both of us haunted by the dull, drunken eyes of our peer, and the dejected look on his face.
As if something had gone terribly wrong.
I arrived at the doors to the third year dormitory and my hand immediately reached for the knob, not bothering to knock first, opening them as slow as I could considering the circumstances, which was, admittedly, not slow at all.
In fact, they ended up slamming open, startling the four girls residing in the quarters, and having them jump up to their feet, wands in hands. Although their reaction was admirable and worthy of every praise in any other situation, now, it served only to annoy me further ,for out of the four of them present, not one was my dark haired cousin.
I turned on the nearest girl and demanded, accompanied by an anxious hiss from Serpen.
"Where is Astoria?" I asked, but received no word, seemingly frightening the poor girl into silence without even pulling my wand out.
I turned on the next one, who looked down as her eyes met mine, and fidgeted at my insistent stare, still silent.
The third one, Astoria's friend as I took it, responded without even needing to be asked.
"We haven't seen her since this morning." She said, her tone trembling slightly, but her eyes very bravely keeping my gaze.
I turned on my heel at that information, the girls holding no more interest for me, and panic despite my best efforts, now settled deep inside my heart. Where was that little troublesome child? I just hopped that she was alright, that she was not hurt. Just let her be safe.
I had almost missed the question as I was leaving the room, but I had heard it somewhere at the back of my mind.
"Is she alright?" asked that same girl, Beatrice if I was right. And I simply did not have an answer for her.
If I was taking two steps when I was running to the third year dormitories, I was taking four at a time now as I was descending those same steps, not minding my heels at all, not minding anything as I grabbed the handle of the doors of the fifth year dormitories, slamming them open outright, and standing in the doorway, staring at the figure of my young cousin in the dark room.
There were only three candles lit in the entire room and I crossed the distance between myself and my cousin in long, quick strides, assessing her for possible signs of injury or attack. She stared at me, breathing out "Linda", her hands hanging loosely by her side, her fists clenching her robes, kneading them, twisting and turning in her nervousness. But she was, blessedly alright.
I saw the look in her eyes, the look of sadness, compassion, desperation and powerlessness, and followed her gaze to my older cousin, whom I had barely noticed in my rush to get to Astoria, and felt my heart stop in my chest.
Astoria was not asking for herself, I realized in that moment, she was asking for help for her sister. I felt another lump form in my throat and I dropped to my knees in front of her, waving my hand and closing the doors behind me, taking Daphne's hands in my own.
"Daphne…" I called, my voice quiet in the dim room, now understanding the desperation in Astoria's eyes. Daphne was sitting on the edge of her bed, her knees pressed together, her hands that were folded in her lap now in my hands, her eyes staring at a point above my head, two streams of tears silently escaping her eyes. I had never known my cousin to be so… broken.
What in the name of Merlin happened?
"Daphne, love, talk to me" I tried again, and she glanced at me briefly, before resuming her staring at the wall. She did not even see me.
"Daphne, can you hear me?" I asked, and for a moment, nothing happened, making cold sweat wash over me. Then, she nodded slowly, mutely, tear after tear escaping her face.
"How long has she been like this?" I asked Astoria, who was standing silently by my side. I had the feeling that she was in shock as well, never having seen her sister, who was such a hero for her, this… broken.
"Fifteen minutes, I thought that I should call you…" she whispered, her voice breaking.
"What happened? What happened fifteen minutes ago?" I asked, making small circles on the back of Daphne's hand, trying to soothe her, trying to chase this worry, or fear, or whatever it was, away from my cousin. And failing miserably.
No one was saying anything, not a word, and I was about to ask again, needing to know what the problem was if I were to solve it.
"It's…" whispered Astoria and I glance at her, to see her observing her sister with worry, "it's… Alphonse I think."
Daphne's hand tightened at the name, and I was ready to smash his head in, his dejection now the furthest thing from my mind. I'd castrate him if he'd hurt her, I'd bloody feed him to Serpen.
"What did he do?" I asked, my tone turning threatening, almost a snarl. "Daphne, tell me."
This seemed to get her attention, and she glanced at me, her eyes still impossibly dead. I could not stand how dead they looked, how defeated.
I thought that she was not going to answer me, but then, she opened her mouth, and her lips formed the whisper that broke my heart. "He's getting married."
I closed my eyes at that, hearing Astoria suck in a breath through her teeth, the both of us understanding what Daphne meant. His parents had arranged a marriage for him, and it was not to Daphne.
I stood up at that, taking a seat next to Daphne, on her right, and placed her hands in my lap.
"I am so sorry my love." I whispered, and she turned towards me, those dead eyes now finally seeing me.
"Oh Linda… " she whispered, blinking "I love him."
She leaned her head on me, burying it into my shoulder, her arms encasing my waist, pulling herself closer towards me, gripping my robes tight and taking deep breaths.
"Shhh" I whispered, putting an arm around her, rubbing her back lightly, trying to soothe her, "shhh."
I felt Astoria sit down beside me, and she leaned her head on my shoulder. I felt her shivering and I placed my right hand around her back, pulling her close, offering her comfort.
"And do you know the worst part?" asked Daphne, mumbling into my shirt, but I could still understand her. She continued without waiting for a reply "He loves me too. He just told me, right before he said that he's e-e-e-ngaged."
Her breathing was turning into whimpers by now, and I was silent, unsure as to how to comfort her.
"Can't you break it Linda?" asked Astoria, and Daphne violently pulled back, staring at me with such hope. They believed in me, and I would have to say no. I would have to crush her only hope, for there was little my grandfather could do to break such an agreement, and I even less.
"Whom is it to?" I asked, hoping against hope. If it was to one of the lesser families then maybe…
"Rosier, Violetta." Whispered Daphne, and my heart sunk in my chest. There was nothing I could do, nothing at all. The Rosiers were known Death Eaters, members of the Inner Circle. Attempting to break this marriage would end in Daphne's death, something I simply could not risk.
I closed my eyes and then slowly shook my head no.
"No." whimpered Daphne, her voice turning desperate, showing me her pain, as if I could not feel it vividly enough. Something precious was taken from her, and she could never have it back.
"No." she whimpered again, and I broke away from their grips, climbing backwards on the bed, and laying my head on the pillow, calling them to join me. They did so without complaint and Astoria lay her head on my right shoulder, while Daphne buried her head in my neck, just to my collarbone.
"no. no. no. no." whimpered she and I placed my hand around her, feeling my own heart break into pieces.
"Shhh." I spoke, trying to keep her calm, knowing well that there was nothing I could do.
"They can't. They can't. I- I-" she choked on her tears, and the whimpers turned into sobs.
She cried for hours, there was no doubt about that, for two hours in the least. And then there was silence, as both of my sleeves were soaked with tears, and my heart was torn to pieces.
I do not recall when I had begun to hum, but it seemed to calm her down enough to stop the sobs. The tears were silent now, and I decided to try singing.
"I remember tears streaming down your face" I started, and she buried her face deeper into the fabric of my shirt. "When I said I'll never let you go. When all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said, don't leave me here alone, but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight."
Astoria's breathing had slowed down by the time I was half-way through the song. Her rhythmic breathing and the deep sleep seemed to be affecting Daphne too, as she was tired out by all the tears.
"Just close your eyes, The sun is going down, you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now, come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound."
Her breathing had evened out, and her grip on my shirt had lessened, but I remained lying down for more than an hour more, before slowly getting up and gently leaving the bed, only to turn and see that the girls had reached for each other in their sleep , lying hugged, with Daphne's chin on the crown of Tori's head. I waved my hand, having the covers reach up, covering my cousins.
I sighed quietly, before turning on my heel, and leaving the room, Serpen too awake, following me out. I could only hope some sleep would do them good.
I closed the doors behind me softly, gently, so that they made no noise and then simply stood there, staring at the wood.
It was hiding two little girls that I simply could not protect. I reached my hands to my hair and gripped the strands tight, venting my frustration in a silent scream. What good was my power, what good was my influence, my name and my money if I could not protect family?
I was completely and utterly useless!
I sat down on the first step, hugging myself to try and stop the shivering. I was so sad, so devastated, by what I had learnt. Her future was gone, smashed beneath the feet of people that cared not in the least about her, about Alphonse, about any of us. If she could not have a future, what in the name of hell was I fighting for? What was this endless, bitter fighting for? What had my parents died for?
Nothing. It was completely pointless.
Serpen was distressed as well, and he wrapped himself around me tightly, placing his head in my lap, hissing, trying to get my attention.
I reached towards him, stroking his head absently, taking large mouthfuls of air, as if I was drowning.