Chapter 8 – Unable to Cope

As I have said I bullied Bonnie Kincaid. I had my reasons, first I had undiagnosed depression which made me feel worthless and then my brother slept with Bonnie even though he knew I had a crush on her. That day I found out something happened to me, I don't really know what all I know is that I found myself writing a horrible text and sending it then I send another...and I just couldn't stop...I wanted someone else to feel the pain I was in. Luckily dad had convinced Bonnie and her parents not to press charges if they had I could have been in a lot of trouble as cyber bullying is counted as harassment which is illegal. That's why I didn't expect what happened.

It was a normal Wednesday; I went into school, got teased a bit then went to my first lesson of the day, History with Miss McFall. I was doing the class work when all of a sudden there was a knock at the door and Miss Donnegan, the secretary, walked in.

"Hello Miss McFall, sorry to disturb you can I borrow Leo please?"

"Sure, you may go Leo"

I stood up leaving my bag thinking she only wanted a word with me outside

"I think you best bring your stuff..." she said not looking at me.

I was confused; Sonya never came to get pupils unless she needed to ask them a quick question about some of their information. I packed up my stuff, put my bag on my back and walked out with her.

"Erm what's going on?" I asked trying to figure out the situation

"Leo...there is some people here to see you" she said and started to walk without another word I followed. School was quiet as everyone was in class so there was nothing to distract me from this feeling of dread something bad was coming.

I followed her into my dad's office and we stopped outside the office door. That's when I saw two policeman standing there and started to panic, they obviously had found out I was the bully, when they saw me come in they looked at me.

"I...I'm sorry" I say scared but unbeknown to me Bonnie was getting her own back.

"Leo Fitzgerald" one of the officers said "I am arresting you on suspicion of harassment and attempted rape".

I froze shocked. Did he just say what I thought he said? What was he talking about? I hadn't touched Bonnie.

"WHAT!?" I said in shock

"You do not have to say anything but it can harm your defence if you do not mention now something you would later relay on in court"

"Court?" I said still in shock for what I was been arrested for. The officer who wasn't talking came behind me to handcuff me.

"WOAH what you doing" I say trying to fight him off

"It's better if we do this the easy way, without fighting" he said as he handcuffed me. I looked up at dad the look on his face was shock but I saw something else...he thought I was guilty.

"Get off me!" I said as they started to lead me out by now the bell had gone and people were coming out of their classrooms, some saw me been arrested and smiled, others looked shocked. My mum saw and ran over as they lead me down the stairs and out the school.

"What are you doing that's my son!" my mum shouted as we got to the car

"Sorry we have to take him to the station" one of the officers said as they opened the door and put me in the car. I looked at mum through the window more in shock than scared as they drove off.

After what felt like a lifetime they parked the car and I was led into the police station and into an interview room where I presume I was going to be asked questions.

"Leo Fitzgerald please state your date of birth for me" one of the officers said

"12th October 1999" I said as he nodded and wrote down my age.

"Right Leo is it true you bullied Bonnie Kincaid?"

"Well ...y...yeah but I didn't mean to hurt her"

"Right tell me what happened on the 23rd January"

"Nothing...by then everyone knew I was the bully but nothing happened"

"So it's not true that you asked Bonnie to meet you at the school bike sheds and then when you arrived you started to kiss her and touch her"

"That's a load of crap!"

"Well Bonnie said she only mangered to get away because she was quick enough to thump you in the mouth and it was bleeding and because of you been in pain you let go"

I was in shock. Justin had thumped me in the mouth when we had a fight at home but I had hit him to as we had got into a physical fight but how did Bonnie know that?

"And it looks like she was right...you have a scab on your lip...did someone by any chance hit you?"

"Yes but it wasn't Bonnie it was Justin my brother we had a huge fight the other day"

"And did you also send Bonnie this text "You won't believe what I have in store for you today" "

"Yes but...I didn't mean about...I was talking about something else"

I saw the two officers look at each other and they clearly didn't believe a word I was saying.

"Give us a minute" the officers said as they walked out the room, I was thinking about running but I was still handcuffed I wouldn't get far. A few minutes later they walked back into the room.

"Leo Fitzgerald I am charging you for the attempted rape and the harassment of Bonnie Kincaid"

"NO" I screamed knowing it will do no good as they led me out to the room and to smaller room where I had to take my shoes, school jumper and tie off and I was searched. The officer searching me found my pills and raised an eyebrow looking at me.

"No please they aren't drugs I have depression I need them please don't take them!"

"A fifteen year old with depression?" Yeah right"

"No please ...PLEASE" I begged as they confiscated them and I was taken to the holding cells, I followed shaking now terrified as the officer opened the door to one of the cells and I was told to go in.

"NO" I fussed knowing I wouldn't be able to cope in there, I tried to resist but they mangered to get me in and they locked the door. I was in a tiny room with a toilet and a bench and straight away I couldn't cope.

"LET ME OUT" I banged on the door screaming and shouting repeatly as I cried, I couldn't cope in here. I was shaking and didn't stop banging on the door, but after a while when I realised no one was going to come I slid down the door onto the floor and cried as I brought my knees to my chest, I had never been like this I think this is what it was like to have a breakdown and having depression was not helping me right now. I was shaking and crying and I saw my arms, I had a short sleeved shirt on so skin was exposed. I started to bite my arms, I didn't want to hurt myself but it was helping me to cope a little bit as it gave me something to focus on, they didn't bleed very much anyway.

A while later I was taken to the actual prison and the cell was the same except it had what was supposed to be an actual bed. I felt sick knowing this time I properly wasn't going to get out and had to run to the toilet and be sick. I sat on the bed still crying and bit my arms more hoping Bonnie would drop the charges.

That night was the worse of my life I didn't sleep at all I never realised how scary the dark is when you are alone in a prison cell in pitch black and deadly silence, I just hoped tomorrow someone would visit me so I could get out.