It hadn't been a good day. Not that anything terribly bad had happened, nor did I expect anything catastrophic to occur. It just... hadn't been as pleasant a day as I had become used to.

It may have seemed to me like a worse day than it actually was, as I couldn't seem to shake this sense of... melancholy, which kept me from feeling any joy. Of courses, at least part of the reason for my bad mood was certainly Quatre's absence and my resulting worry. Even though Master had taken me aside the night before and assured me that he was neither angry at Quatre, going to sell Quatre, or going to hurt Quatre, I still couldn't seem to stop worrying about him.

Not that I thought Master was actually going to hurt him. I had known Master Zechs for long enough now that I would easily trust him with any of our lives, having full confidence that he would not allow harm or abuse to come to any of them. And yet, having lived so long with masters who would buy and sell in a heartbeat, having my name and style changed almost weekly, and losing or gaining friend and enemy slaves every day, I couldn't help but feel that nagging sense that I would never see Quatre again. I didn't believe it, but I couldn't stop from feeling it.

Perhaps the worst compound to the problem was Master's absence. While I was closest among my peers to Quatre, I'm not sure I could say who I was closer to at that time; Master or Quatre. While I enjoyed a friendship and equality with Quatre, I also enjoyed being dominated and taken care of by Master. Having both of them gone, it seemed like my entire support system had suddenly been pulled away from me. I knew, if I had asked, any of the others would have listened to me, and I contemplated more than once talking to Wufei about it, but it wasn't so much verbal reassurances that I was after. With Quatre, I would probably seek to lose my cares by making music with him, or with Master I would have certainly sought physical reassurances through either touch or sex. Unfortunately, I wasn't comfortable asking any of the other for the same kind of affection, and, since I was pretty sure that talking about it would only cause me too worry more, I declined Wufei's offer to talk and avoided the others.

I tried desperately to distract myself, with only mild success. Music and cooking were things Quatre and I did together, so I couldn't find joy in either of those tasks. Master, meanwhile, would have probably allowed me to seduce him, then used the period of blissful lethargy after sex to coax the problem out of me. Neither of these outlets, then, were open to me, and I found that I just couldn't keep my mind on any book. It was desperation, then that caused me to look to Duo's video games as a distraction, but thankfully they proved to be just what I needed to calm my tumultuous mind. As Duo had no interest in them that day, I was allowed to distract myself for long periods of time without interruption.

Of course, I was well aware of the fight between Duo and Heero. With only four people in the house it was impossible not to realize that something was amiss between the close pair, and certainly the blood on Duo's face that morning would have clued me in if nothing else had. I felt vaguely guilty for

not attempting to mediate the fight, but I just didn't think I could handle their problems on top of my own. Duo and Heero had both often struck me as somewhat high maintenance, and I just couldn't find the type of energy it would have taken to talk to the two. Without Master around to keep them in line, I wasn't sure they'd listen to me anyway.

The house was quiet all that day, as though a kind of oppressive air was bogging down the sounds and preventing them from being heard. By nightfall, a crypt couldn't have sounded any more silent than the house. At dinner, the clinking of glasses and silverware rang like church bells after a funeral. At least, that how it sounded to me, though I will be the first to admit that I was probably in a pretty sour mood that day. Worry about Quatre was eating at me from the inside, and the constant silence only allowed me more time to concentrate on the pain. Morbidly, I couldn't help but wonder if the house would remain like this, if Master returned without Quatre. Was it Quatre's absence that created such a foul mood? Or Master's? It was hard to say which I missed more, and it was only my worry for Quatre that caused me to think more of him. My longing for Master was compounded by this situation, because I both missed and needed him fiercely without Quatre around. With the both of them gone, my support system was almost completely destroyed, and it made me acutely aware of just how dependent I really was.

I'm sure I make it sound like I didn't trust Master to take care of Quatre while they were gone. Honestly, that wasn't at all the way I thought. The simple truth is that Quatre was the only one I could contemplate not coming back. Were Quatre to not return, I could see the house becoming depressed, despondent even, but current existence would continue. It would not have the level of happiness we had come to expect from living with Master, but certainly we would continue to live as a unit, trying to overcome the tragic loss of our little angel.

Without Master, though, there would be no continued existence. The group would be splintered, each sold to a new Master or, in Wufei's case, returned to the old. It was unlikely that any of us would be permitted to stay together, and assuming that some were allowed the level of freedom and closeness we had experienced would probably completely vanish. Outside Master's protective embrace, we would become enemies and hollow shells of the people Master had tried to create. Death would seem welcoming by comparison. With the hope of seeing Master again in it, I could not guarantee that we would avoid, consciously or subconsciously, seeking it. After tasting paradise with master, we would all be eager to return.

Beyond that, the group was falling apart around us with Master gone. It was a bad thing, I knew, for us to be this dependent on Master, for we would not always be able to stay with him. However, I could also see that some of the stress was caused by the newness of the relationship. I could tell that the others, as I was, were suffering from the faint but terrifying doubt that Master would return. It, along with the stresses of teen life, our compounding mental traumas, and Master's first true absence, was proving too much for our little family. Wufei was doing his best to bring us together, but it was in his nature to be slightly aloof and removed from others. From the way he held himself and interact with the others I could tell that he had a hard time getting close to others, and an even harder time opening up to them. Wufei was much more comfortable with his books or subjects like philosophy and strategy. And it wasn't all Wufei's fault. It seemed that the others, as well, were having a hard time talking to him. Wufei was, after all, almost the last to be added to the group, and the only member still holding ties to another Master. As much as Wufei had done to gain the groups trust, there was still some underlying mystery to his motives that, perhaps subconsciously, the others found keeping them form opening up completely to Wufei. Whatever the reason, Wufei was doing his best to hold the group together while we waited for Master to return and reunite us, but it was impossible to tell if it would be enough.

Midnight found me lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Most of us had retired some time after ten, which probably spoke of how much we all missed Master Zechs, that we would follow his usual pattern even if he was not here to tell us. It was impossible to sleep, though, even with the realization that Quatre and Master would return sooner if I did. For a while, I practiced the letters that Wufei had taught me, going over the shape of each letter in my head and trying to place it with its sound. Then I began to pair them, the c and the k, the i and the e, until I had worked through all the combination sounds they could make up to ough and augh. Then I tried to think of the way a word would look if made of letters, but a shout from Heero and Duo's room interrupted me. I listened again, worried someone might have broken in, but when the sound came again I realized, from the tone and length, that Duo was simply having another nightmare. I stayed in bed, knowing that Heero would comfort Duo, and also that Heero was the only one who could. Duo continued to whimper and moan, but it often took him some time to come out of the dream, so I thought nothing of it. After a moment, I returned to my word game, but dozed off soon after.

The next morning, panic ensued. I knew before I even opened my eyes, though I wasn't so observant enough to guess the cause. I contemplated, for a moment, keeping my eyes closed as the quickly shuffling footsteps passed my door, but the choice was taken from my hands as my door softly opened, admitting another pair of quickly shuffling footsteps entered my room. I wondered, in the moment before I opened my eyes, why the other would bother softening their footsteps they weren't concerned about waking me, in which case they wouldn't have opened my door. It struck me, as I opened my eyes to see Heero opening my closet, that something serious must be happening. Unfortunately, I couldn't prevent the first words out of my mouth from being, "Why are you in my closet?"

He didn't answer immediately, instead pushing aside my clothes and poking through, as if trying to unearth some treasure. It wasn't until he pulled back and closed the closet door that he spoke to me.

"Duo's missing."

"Missing? Since when?"

"Late last night or early this morning, we think," Wufei said, entering the room then turning to Heero. "No sign of him?"

"I told you he wouldn't be in here. Why would he try to hide in the house?"

"It's a lot better than assuming the alternative."

We all knew what the alternative was. If Duo was not hiding somewhere in the house, then he had run away. If Master found out, the punishment would be severe. If Duo wasn't sold, then Master was very generous indeed. If Duo wasn't found quickly or found at all and Collar got wind of it, it would mean severe fines for Master, humiliation, and the possibility of having all his slave taken away. The rest of us... well, at the very least we would have to deal with an angry master, and the worst was too much to think about.

"Wait," I stopped them, sitting up and pushing down the covers. Outside, I noticed, it was raining in a fierce downpour. "How... did Duo get out?"

"He must have snuck out while I was sleeping," Heero replied, his stare slightly fiercer than usual.

"But... he had a nightmare. I heard it. How could he sneak out of your bed?" I wondered. The glare softened minutely, and his eyes flicked to the side. I didn't need his next words to understand what had happened.

"We were not in the same bed."

"Heero!" Wufei gasped, shocked.

"It was only one night!" Heero growled defensively. "I didn't... I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. I never thought he'd run off because of it!"

"Duo has always been unstable," I told them, trying to bring some sanity back into a situation that was rapidly deteriorating into a fight. "This may have pushed him over the edge, but we always knew there was a possibility he would bolt. The question it, what do we do now?"

"We have to find him and get him back here before Master returns!" Heero responded emphatically.

"No. This is too big for us to handle on our own. We need to call Zechs now, before Duo gets any further."

"Master will get rid of him the instant he finds out Duo bolted! You're condemning him to a fate worse than death!"

"You don't know that. And, besides, what if we don't find Duo? Did you think about that? Zechs will be ruined, we'll be sold, and Duo will either be found and killed or die somewhere in the wilderness."

"Look at the rain, Wufei! He couldn't have gotten far! We could have him back here before Master even..."

"This is ridiculous! You can't just..."

"I won't..."

"Listen here..."

"Enough!" I demanded, my level tone carrying well over their bickering. They quieted instantly, and I fought the urge to rub my temples. I wasn't even out of bed and already they'd given me a headache. "Wufei, what time is Master scheduled to be back?"

"Around noon, but certainly you can't..."

"It's unlikely Master could get back much sooner than that even if we called him. Heero, that gives you until noon to find Duo. After that, Wufei and I bring Master up to speed if you don't. The important thing here is that we find Duo, which will never happen if you two keep bickering." They nodded their assent. "Good. I'll assume you've searched all the buildings, so we'll meet in the kitchen in ten minutes with any equipment that might be useful. Radios, blankets, medkits, and flashlights are going to be a necessity, but bring anything else that you think might be helpful. Let's move."