A/N: In response to one of my lovely reviewers last chapter who asked about Heins' sexual preference, we should be running into someone who will answer it shortly. And whoever has been taking the time to add in all these tropes under my fanfic in the tvtropes, curse youuu I spent SO much time in awe of how detailed it was. Seriously, though? Thanks. You're amazing. All my readers should check it out and feel free to add as the story continues!

Originally this chapter was showing up to be more than seventeen pages, and still going, so I had to cut it off into two separate. The good news is the next chapter should come sooner. As always I thank you all for your continued support!

-Chapter Eleven-

Something Crazy

"You! What are you doing here?" Whirling to her left and fumbling for something to grab, Anna picked up the nearest object in her vicinity, which happened to be a used, greasy frying pan. She brandished it dangerously above her head, ready to hurl it at the offender given a moment's notice. "You stay back! I've got a-a-" she looked above her head and enforced her grip, her balance wavering for a moment, "a big skillet! And I'm not afraid to use it, either!"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" Kristoff managed to snag her around the waist, making her falter and push against him. The man firmly placed himself in front of her and wrapped his arms around her body in a bear hug, successfully keeping her at bay. "Slow down, fiestypants, it's okay, relax! Just calm down, calm down!"

Hey!" Anna, who seemed to quickly realize how futile her struggling was against the mountain man, let her shoulders grow lax. "Alright, alright, fine! I'm okay, let me go," she snapped with a frown, lowering the pan in hand. "I'm calm…"

Kristoff sighed in relief and let his own posture slacken, his arms dropping from around her, nodding. "Anna, just let me explain…"

"Anna? As in, the Princess Anna?" Heins, who had heard the woman's name for the first time, snapped furiously to attention, body rigidly stiffening as he somehow managed to make rushing look graceful, hurrying forward and swooping into a low bow. "Your highness!"

Anna, stunned by his sudden movements, whirled upon the prince and hurled the frying pan with all her strength, the kitchen appliance flying through the air on a straight shot for its target. The metal pan clanged into the prince's face, causing Heins to crumble like a sack of rocks to the floor.

"Great, you see? Now you've done it!" Kristoff yelled, rushing over to inspect the damage.

"Heins!" Hans bent by his brother and helped him up, inhaling a quick gasp while wincing when he saw his brother's bloody split lip. "Are you okay?" He extended two fingers before his brother's face. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Lip oozing a steady stream of crimson, a deliriously dizzy Heins dabbed his fingers against the wound and brushed the blood against his shirt to get rid of it, grinning lopsidedly at his brother. "Look at all the pretty stars…" he slurred, reaching out a hand and grasping nothing.

"Why did you do that?" Hans snapped at Anna, Kristoff taking a hand in helping Heins back onto the cot by the fire.

"Has he got a thick skull?" Kristoff asked, bending by him and waving a hand in front of the dazed prince before he shot a glower at the princess. "Anna, don't worry about these guys attacking you, worry about whether or not you gave him brain damage from that frying pan! He wasn't trying to startle you, he was trying to bow."

"Oh…" Anna trailed off, lips puckering in a worried look as she feebly tapped her mittens together. "Oops."

#

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Hans had a mild boost in confidence his brother would be alright after thinking back on what he'd survived so far, but the guilt didn't help his conscience. First you almost drown in a storm, then you fall through ice, and now you get a frying pan to your face. I don't think being with me is doing you any favors to your health. "How many fingers?" he repeated, waving the double fingers in front of his brother.

"Two…" mumbled Heins, face drawn to the ground purposely to avoid Anna's concerned gaze across the way.

"Your lip's still bleeding…" she murmured softly as she wrung her hands together, looking to Kristoff. "Have you got any ice handy?"

Kristoff shot her a stare.

"Oh… ice harvester… right."

It only took a moment for Kristoff to grab a chunk of raw ice from his supply, returning to hand it to Heins who balanced it away from himself, tilting it delicately in the firelight at various angles.

Hans shot his brother a disapproving frown. "Heins, stop trying to see your reflection."

"But my lip!" exclaimed Heins, tilting the chunk of ice slightly downward. His expression crumbled when his fresh wound came into view and he turned sorrowful eyes on his brother. "Does it look bad?..."

Hans eyed the swollen, bleeding split in his brother's bottom lip and forced a reassuring smile, for although the wound wasn't pleasant to look at, he'd seen much worse. "No."

Heins narrowed his eyes, frowning. "You hesitated."

"No, I didn't," argued Hans, pressing the ice forcibly to his brother's lips. "Now keep it there."

"Alright, alright," murmured Heins, whose lip was already going numb from the cold.

"Hey, um, I just want you to know, I'm sorry about the pan thing," Anna commented, looking truly apologetic for her actions. "It could have been worse, I mean, if I had been holding a sword or something, it could have been… yeesh-" she broke off with a forced laugh at all the eyes fixed on her, "cause, you know, with the pointy end and," she cleared her throat, "but, lucky for you, it was just a pan."

"Just a pan?" Pulling his brother over so he could whisper, Heins cupped a hand to his mouth. "I think I understand why you didn't want to come back right away… she's craaazy."

"Hey, I can hear you!" Anna protested, crossing her arms. "And I'm not the one who came back after all you did wrong! If you ask me, you're the ones who are crazy!" Kristoff put a hand on her shoulder and she met his gaze with a soft huff of defeat. "Alright, fine. Let's start over. I'm Princess Anna, of Arendelle." Kristoff gave her a little nudge with his elbow and she sputtered a raspberry at him from the corner of her mouth, "And I'm sorry for throwing a pan at you."

"Well… to be perfectly honest, it's not entirely your fault… I did startle you." Heins slowly smiled. He'd never been able to stay angry at anyone for too long, and the princess did look truly apologetic.

"It doesn't hurt too much, does it?" she asked, twiddling her thumbs.

"No, not really." He shook his head.

"Are you sure?" she pressed, playing with one of two strawberry blonde braids draped over either shoulder.

"Yes, I'm sure. I mean, I still have all my teeth, and as I said it was sort of my fault as much as yours for startling you so. The split will heal quickly and I can't feel anything with the cold. Considering what I've been through earlier today, I'm great, actually," he exclaimed, smiling wider to emphasize the point.

"Phew, well, thank little favors for that, right?" she quickly exclaimed, flashing an equally bright smile to the other parties, who stared blankly. "I mean…" she dropped her voice into a murmur, "it's still unfortunate."

Feeling better from the pleasant exchange, Heins took the reins of the conversation. He bowed his head to the woman respectfully as he placed a hand on his chest, ready to try introductions again. "Princess Anna? Prince Heins, of the Southern Isles." He gestured to Hans. "And I think you've already met my brother."

"Ohhh I have," she said, her voice dropping darkly.

"Anna, this is one of my older brothers." Hans said, following her gaze and tried to sense her feelings as far as the reunion was concerned. With the senses he could gather, she was willing to listen, so all he needed was the courage to speak. Before he could begin, she took him off-guard with a question he didn't expect.

"Is he one of the ones who pretended you were invisible?"

"What? No! No, no, he's not one of those brothers," Hans refuted with a shake of his head, "he's- wait… you remember that?"

"Of course I do," she replied, holding an eye contact with him so intense it took all his concentration to hold it. "I remember everything."

"You talked about us?" Heins interrupted, eyes getting wider. "What did you say about me? Did she see the suit I made for you?"

"What? No! I mean, yes, but… no!" Hans refuted, puzzling silently as to how the conversation had so quickly spiraled out of his control. "I didn't mention you at all."

"Well, why not?" Heins pouted, crossing his arms.

"I think we're getting off-track." Hans said, interlacing his fingers and leaning with his elbows on his knees as he sat next to his brother and faced Anna across the way. Just say it. Just say you're sorry and get it over with. A prince is strong. A prince I will be. "Anna, the reason I came back is because I wanted to apologize."

"You came all the way back here just to apologize?" she repeated, her face adopting a stunned expression.

"I thought it would be easy. I thought I'd take one of my father's ships, but-"

"But then we ran into a storm and that ship sunk, if you'll pardon the expression, and then we had to be smuggled into Arendelle and we had to run, and pretend to be ice harvesters in order to escape the people chasing us, and then I fell through the ice because that tune they were singing was just so catchy I didn't pay attention where I was cutting, and- well… here we are." Heins shrank under his brother's glare. "Sorry…"

"Wait- what?" Anna blinked a few times, looking from Heins to Hans as she processed what had been said.

"I had hoped to speak to you in private, Anna, but considering our history, I think it best if I speak my mind here." Hans gathered his thoughts for a moment.

"If you've come back thinking I'll forgive you for what you did, you can forget it. You're lucky I don't have Kristoff drag you back to the castle right this second so we can throw you in the dungeon for the rest of your life," she snapped, her blue eyes sparkling dangerously in the firelight.

Kristoff's eyes darted to Anna, his face slackening, clearly not expecting himself to be volunteered for anything, but Hans spoke before he could say something.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, Anna."

Narrowing her eyes, the princess glowered at him, her forehead creasing and nose wrinkling in suspicion. "Then what? Am I supposed to believe you came all the way back here just to say you were sorry, knowing full well you'd never be forgiven in the first place?"

"… it's the truth." Hans dropped his gaze, staring at the floor. "I know… this must be difficult for you to believe. I wouldn't believe me, either. But I came to tell you… I'm sorry for what I tried… to become king… to… do what I did to you and your sister…"

"… say it."

He looked up at her, meeting her flaring eyes, his gut twisting as he did.

"I want to hear you say it. Say what you did."

"… tried to kill you." As the words left his mouth, he swallowed the aftertaste, a bitter taste of reality. "I'm… I'm so sorry. I am."

Anna just stared at him for a few moments of silence, which seemed to linger on for an eternity. "You know, it's actually kind of sad. I want to believe you're serious, but I don't know how you expect me to believe that after everything you did."

"… remember what you said to me the last time we spoke?"

Anna paused for a moment, eyes darting to the left as she puckered her lips.

"You said the only frozen heart around was mine."

Her face slackened with a stunned look that could almost be called vulnerable.

"I want to prove you wrong, Anna. I know that things can't be the same between us. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness... but I don't care. I came to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did… and… I am."

Anna rose from her seated position, pacing left, and then right, until it became a steady pattern, clearly distressed as she uttered a great sigh and threw her hands in the air. "I really want to hate you. I really want nothing to do with you ever, ever again. But… but you came back, and went through all that… just to say you were sorry… ooooh why did you have to show up like this? How can I trust you? What if you're plotting to take over the throne again? What about this guy-" she gestured to Heins with a wave, "what if he's only here to help you with a hostile attack on the kingdom?"

"Anna," interrupted Kristoff as he stooped down and took the mostly-melted ice chunk from Heins, "the guy couldn't cut ice for ten minutes without falling in. He's not the sharpest icicle on the roof."

"That's right!" chimed in Heins with a bright smile, before a look of realization swept over his expression and he frowned. "Hey! That's very rude and I resent that remark."

"You ruined everything for us, don't you understand that?" Anna went on with her tirade, waving her hands in the air as she continued, as animated as Hans remembered. "Okay, so immediately after you're taken care of, Elsa cancels trade with the Duke of Weaseltown, so I think, that's good, right? But then guess what happens? The crazy guy is the closest partner in our trade, and since we refuse trade with him, he starts cheating everybody else who needs trade with him out of their fair share just because we won't do business with him! So now we have all these other countries that are probably blaming us! How unfair is that?"

"That's awful," Heins emphasized, leaning forward, his previous irritation smoothed over with concern. "What a horrible thing to do!"

"I know, right? But then I find out that Elsa doesn't want anything to do with the Southern Isles trade bureau, either, which, you know, I kind of expected, but we can't afford not to keep the trade open because the only other place that's even close enough to reach us before winter sets in is Corona and they can't support us with their trade alone! We're hopefully supposed to be meeting with a bunch of new trade representatives soon, including ones from your country, and not only do we have to worry about keeping the trade going to support the people of Arendelle, but we have to worry about what to tell them regarding the winter, too! Our entire kingdom is in trouble, Elsa is beyond stressed, and we're running around like a bunch of snowmen with their heads falling off all thanks to you!" She stopped in place, nostrils flaring, arms crossed, staring Hans down with her blue eyes, so accusatory they practically screamed.

Hans, with expended effort, had listened patiently to her woes, setting up the pieces of her problems as he would in a match of chess. Trade. Southern Isles. Arendelle. Bad Economy. Taking a moment to study the board, he realized a simple move he could make which would, if correctly performed, change the fate of the game. The added possibility of the action assisting him with redemption in the royal family's eyes made it all the sweeter. It was a slim chance, a risky one at that, but it was the only thing he could think of. "…maybe we can help." Checkmate.

She blinked at him a few times. "Wh… help?"

"Yes." Hans turned to his brother. "We know the needs and negotiation strategies of the Southern Isles. If we can attend the meeting somehow, maybe we can turn things towards Arendelle's favor, help them survive the winter. If we can manage the support of the Southern Isles, the Northern will follow suit."

"Of course!" exclaimed Heins, "Harvard has always followed father's direction!"

"Whoah, whoah. I'm confused," Anna said, holding her hands out in a stop motion. "Can somebody explain?"

"Harvard is my eldest brother, Anna," Hans explained in a soothing tone, "who also happens to be the current king of the Northern Isles, the younger sister country to the Southern Isles. If we can get the Southern Isles to agree to open trade with you, then my brother will follow suit. He's always been loyal to father's country."

"You would… do that?" Anna asked, running her hands over one another. "I don't… but why?"

"Because I want to show you how serious I am about my regrets. Let us go to the trade negotiations with you."

"But… Hans?" ventured his brother.

"What?"

"What about the Queen?"

Silence took hold over the room as everyone made vague noises of discomfort. Anna was the first to speak.

"He's right… even if you could help, Elsa would never let you try in a million, bajllion years. I'm pretty sure she hates your guts almost as much as I do." Hans became very quiet.

"If only there was a way we could get them to meet, before the trade negotiations… when are they, by the way?" asked Heins.

"We haven't decided on a date yet, but we're hoping that everyone will arrive within the next two weeks. It's already October, and by the time everyone gets here it will be November. Elsa's going to be really busy with official stuff, but-" she pursed her lips, "it doesn't matter, anyway. I'm not letting you near my sister, not after what you tried before."

"What if it were in public?" pressed Heins, looking from his brother to Anna hopefully. "What if we could arrange it so there was no possible way Hans could hurt anyone?"

Anna paused, putting a hand up to her lips and drumming her fingers on them. He's like the annoying extra button on the coat in case another one comes loose. But… even those buttons have a use. Wait- what? Ugh, I hate metaphors. Okay, Anna, focus. Pros and cons, here we go. So he left you for dead, that's definitely a con. But if he can do what he says he can do, then… then he could help all of Arendelle. I guess I can mark that on the pros. He looks sincere, but he's looked sincere before. If he could meet Elsa again in public… where he couldn't do anything to hurt her…

Shebroke off the period of silence with a huge gasp for air which made all three men jump, rocketing up from her stiff posture with a shriek and clapping, "I know! Oh, I know! I've got it! The Winter Gala!"

"Winter gala?" Heins repeated, straightening rigidly, face lighting up with immediate interest. "You mean a party?"

"Ohhh it's what I wanted to tell you, Kristoff! Elsa and I were talking and we decided that to make people feel better about the situation going on, we're going to hold a huge ball! Well, okay, so she didn't exactly say yes, but I've got her on the ropes!"

"A ball?" Kristoff repeated, looking stunned. "Anna, are you sure that's a good idea? You'll need more than a few days to plan something that big."

"I know, I know, but I've already got the basics figured out!" Anna enthused, counting off her fingers, "we'll have soup, roast, and-"

"Ice cream!" exclaimed Heins, lacing his fingers together as he joined Anna in a standing position, grinning to show off his white teeth. "You can't have a party without ice cream!"

"Yes!" squealed Anna with a little hop, who seemed to have, for the moment, completely forgotten her worries.

"Wait, wait, wait! Would it be at the castle? With the women in ballgowns and the men in suits and music and dancing and those little tiny appetizers that you have to pick up with the toothpicks stuck in them?" Heins urged, fists clenched and brought up to his chin in excitement.

"Absolutely!" Anna exclaimed as she clapped again, thrilled to have found someone as excited as she for her plans.

"Please pinch me! Pinch me, somebody, I'm dreaming! I'm going to a party thrown by the queen and princess of Arendelle! Oh, my God!" Heins inhaled, drawing his hands up to his mouth with a gasp. "What will I wear?"

"Whoah, whoah! Wait! No, Heins…" Hans stood up and Kristoff followed suit. "Slow down. No one is going to pinch you, because no one is going to a party."

"Wait… what?" Heins blinked, lowering his hands to his side slowly as he looked at his brother.

"We can't go to the party, Heins."

"But why not?" his brother's voice suddenly gained a dejected, soft undertone Hans could not bear to hear. "It's because of my lip, isn't it?"

"No, Heins, it has nothing to do with that. We can't go because people will know who I am. I won't even get the chance to get close to Elsa, much less talk to her." Hans sank down to a seated position on the cot, running a hand through his hair.

Anna's expression grew thoughtful, and she bit her bottom lip as she put a hand on her hip. "I didn't even think of that… snowflakes and slush, it was such a good plan, too!"

"A masquerade!" Heins exclaimed.

"Huh?" Anna blinked.

"We can make it a masquerade! Then no one will recognize us even if they did know us, unless they see our costumes beforehand! Not to mention, the opportunity for our clothes!"

"That's a great idea!" Anna exclaimed, bouncing up and down as her pigtail braids bobbed against her shoulders. "And it's so fresh! The winter gala masquerade! It just rolls right off your tongue, right?"

Kristoff smiled in spite of himself. "Okay, okay… just so we're all clear, let's make sure we're on the same page." He pointed at the princes with one hand. "We hold a winter gala party…"

"Masquerade!" Anna interrupted.

"Right, right… a winter gala masquerade, and that gives these guys the chance to meet Elsa in public, and from there they plan to approach her and propose this idea about attending the trade negotiation so they can get the support of these other nations in order to ensure their intentions about forgiveness are true. Is that about right?"

"You got it!" Heins exclaimed, looking to his brother for confirmation.

"… I guess that's the gist of it." Hans agreed with a shrug of his shoulders, resting his chin on his folded hands. Not exactly how I would have put it, and I'm not sure how this masquerade business came about in the first place, but if it's the only way I can reach my goal, then I guess I have no choice.

"That's completely crazy." Kristoff remarked in a dead-pan tone, holding out a hand to Hans.

"I know," Hans replied, eyeing the hand for a moment of uncertainty. He met the man's eyes, which were, although strong, open and almost... sympathetic. He took the man's hand and hoisted himself up to his feet. "But I have to try."

Kristoff glanced at the window, where a reindeer was eagerly looking inside the cabin, nose pressed against the glass, fogging the panes. He looked back at Anna with a smile and an affirmative nod. "We're in."

#

"Hans, Hans! Look at that; they're actually hanging up the fish in the air like a banner or a flag, and awww it's so cute, look at the little tiny ones."

"Sardines." Hans gave his brother a tug by the seat of his pants to pull him back down as they rode in the hutch of Kristoff's wagon pulled by the reindeer. "That's how they sell fish in the marketplace. Haven't you ever been out in town back home to see this kind of thing before?"

"Well, yes, but never for extended periods. You know how busy the tutors keep us," Heins remarked, eyes glued on the activity around him with insatiable wonder.

"This may be difficult for you to hear… but… we have at least a week-" he looked to Kristoff for a nod of confirmation before continuing, "maybe more before we hear back from Anna's attempts to convince Elsa of her idea. We need to survive until then. We cannot, under any circumstances, let people know who we are. The goal is to take a job, an easy one, and find a place to live, until we can hear back from her."

Kristoff pulled Sven to a stop by the docks, hopping off the wagon and letting the back of the hutch down so the princes could get out.

"You mean we'll have to live like… like peasants?" Heins asked, gazing at his surroundings with an unreadable expression.

"… I'm afraid so," Hans confirmed.

"That's great!" Heins clamped his brother's arms and gave him a little excited shake, whirling around and taking in the bustle of the day life while beaming. "I've always wanted to be a peasant!"

Hans just blinked at first. "Hey, Hey! Calm down." He put both hands on his brother's shoulder and forced him to look in his direction, making direct eye contact. "We. Cannot. Be found. Have you got that? No matter how much you feel like telling someone who you are, or who I am, we cannot tell anybody. Okay? This is very important. I need you to promise me, you won't tell anybody."

"Okay, I promise." Heins nodded solemnly. "You have my word."

"Good." Hans hopped out of the wagon and took a good, long look at the activity around him. He turned back to Heins. "We'll split up. You go that way, and I'll go this way. We'll meet you-" he turned to face Kristoff, "here at six oclock, and hopefully one of us will have some luck. Deal?"

"Do I have to go down the way with all the baked goods they're bringing out?" Heins asked remorsefully, eyed glued on a woman occupied with displaying pies. The steam rose from the plump, juicy centers of the crust, drifting away on the wind. "I'm hungry…"

Kristoff leaned over the back of his wagon and tossed a few supplies around, coming up with a slightly grubby carrot, rubbing it on his shirt and tossing it to the prince. "Here. It's not much, but it's all I've got with me."

"Thanks!" Heins bit into it with a crunch, pausing mid-chew as he saw the reindeer who'd been pulling them turn towards him with big eyes. "Aww, do you want some, too?" He took one more bite and offered the other half to the reindeer, who accepted it gleefully, brushing his head under the prince's arm with a grunt of appreciation. "You don't have to thank me; you deserve it for pulling us all the way here!" He patted the warm side of the animal approvingly, laughing at the affection he got in return as Kristoff watched. "Alright, I'm ready! Good luck, Ha-I mean, whoever you are!" He flashed his brother a wink and disappeared with a skip into the weave of people flowing among the streets.

Hans watched his brother go with a sinking feeling. "We are doomed."

"He's right, though," said Kristoff as he lifted the back of the wagon back into place. "You'll need the luck. People aren't hiring with the state of the economy as it is. You'll be lucky to get a job as a street sweeper, much less anything else. Still… you've shown how determined you are with other things…" Kristoff hoisted himself back into his wagon and offered Hans a smile that could almost be considered friendly. "Maybe you can use it for the better. Let's go, Sven!"

Hans watched as the man disappeared, smoothing down his outfit and examining himself in a nearby trough of water to make sure he looked clean, fresh, and most of all, not desperate. So I need a job. I walk up to the nearest store, tell them I'm a good worker, and I'm hired. How hard could it be?

#

A/N: I have also started a tumblr account dedicated to this fanfic, updates, art, Hans stuff, whatever. sakumefrozenhearts dot tumblr dot com. (I apologize that it's quite simplistic at the moment, as I am completely new to tumblr and therefore learning by jumping in), but feel free to ask me a question/drop a line or submit something!