So I watched the last episode and no kabby so I decided there were busy apartment hunting in the COL and this happened XD There is smut in there, be warned!
In The City Of Light
"Come on."
There is no resisting her command or her tugging of his hand. He doesn't even want to. He follows Abby along streets and corridors, turning his head left and right, exhaled by her joyful laughs and her bright smiles. Her obvious happiness lights an echoing peace in him. He doesn't remember ever seeing her like this. She is wearing a black cocktail dress, her long hair is loose on her shoulders, so smooth and glossy… Even on the Ark, he doesn't remember her ever looking so healthy, so glowing…
She is like a beacon in the night and he can't help but follow, awed by the City of Light and everything it offers.
She leads him all the way to a building and then all the way to a door and she stops, smiling like he has never seen her smile before. He reaches out then, brushes his hand against her cheek, gently tucks her hair behind her ear…
There is a strange almost foreign feeling in chest and it takes him a second to realize he is happy. Completely, utterly happy.
"I love you."
The words are easy to utter. They spill from his lips almost without his consent but he doesn't second guess or regret. There is no room for second guessing and regreting in the City of Light.
"I love you." she answered just as easily, pressing a kiss against his inner wrist. "I missed you." She furrows her brow for a second and he frowns too because he knows what she is talking about but he can't quite remember. She smiles. "It doesn't matter. You are here now. And we will be together forever."
There is no death in the City of Light.
There is no sense of time either.
They just exist.
She opens the door and leads him in an apartment.
He has never seen anything like this, not with his own eyes. It looks like the places in the old movies saved in the Ark's library, something coming from a past long gone just like the city. And yet it is here. A spacious living-room with leather couches facing a fireplace, potted flowers in every corner, shelves full of books and trinkets, framed paintings on the walls… It opens on a kitchen full of equipment he has no idea how to use but he thinks he would enjoy learning… A long counter separates the two spaces, lined with high stools…
There are bay windows all over, overlooking the city. They are in the highest levels and the sight is spectacular. It reminds him a little of the Ark but just a little.
There are more rooms and he explores. There is a bedroom with an en-suite bathroom. The bed is huge with a checked red and white bedspread and the walls are a light brown. There are potted plants in there too, a small bonsai that reminds him of the Eden tree on one of the nightstands and a medical essay propped open on the other. The bathroom has a large bathtub and turquoise tiles on the floor, fluffy white towels with a red trim and two toothbrushes in the glass on the sink…
"Do you like it?" Abby asks, sliding her hand in his.
She sounds eager, younger. Carefree perhaps.
He is not used to this side of Abby but he smiles warmly in answer because he does like it. And so he goes on with his visit, never letting go of her hand.
There are more rooms down the hall. In one of them there are pencils and sketchbooks on every free surface. It puzzles him for a moment and then he blinks the feeling away. The other rooms are equally puzzling but the feeling is just as quickly gone.
They end up back in the living-room and Marcus looks at everything more closely, the plants and the paintings… Abby leans against the fireplace and watches him with a smile.
"Where are we?" he asks, curiously trailing his fingers on the books before going to stand in front of the window. He still finds the view breathtaking.
"Home." she answers quietly.
Home…
The word stirs something strange in him, triggers an inner alarm he can't quite pinpoint or explain. Home… Home isn't here, home is Arkadia, a voice whispers in the back of his mind only to be immediately erased by a welcomed sense of peace.
Home is where Abby is.
"I love it." he offers honestly and he is rewarded by another delighted smile.
She crosses the room without any hurry and locks her arms around his neck so he wraps his around her waist and holds her close. He buries his nose in her hair and breathes in her familiar smell. It is comforting and reassuring. He doesn't understand why he feels the need for comfort or reassurance because he doesn't feel afraid or in pain and yet it is what he seeks in her embrace.
He can feel the warmth of her body through the cotton dress. It hugs her figure, enhances her curves, and he finds his hands exploring what is usually hidden under jackets and loose pants. He feels her smile against his neck before her lips brush his skin, retracing the line of his jaw to meet his mouth.
He doesn't know when kissing her became so natural.
Her fingers tangle in his hair, angling his head the way she wants it and she deepens the kiss. It is enough for the whole embrace to grow less innocent. Her tongue pokes at his lips and he is only too happy to part them for her, to grant her access. There is nothing he won't do for her, nothing he won't give or sacrifice…
Flashes of a gun pointed at her head take over the moment and he draws back with a gasp.
"Abby."
It comes out terrified and his heart is racing and he doesn't know where the gut clenching terror is coming from but it doesn't fade.
"I'm here." she whispers, sounding a little worried. She frames his face in her hands and rests her forehead against his. "Marcus… I'm here. You're safe now. We're both safe."
Are they?
There is a nagging feeling in his chest, something that won't settle down, something that tells him none of this is right…
"We shouldn't be here." he murmurs.
"Jaha doesn't need us for now." she replies. "We will know when he does."
He closes his eyes, tightening his hold on her. "That's not what I mean." He doesn't know what he means really. He only knows Jaha's name makes him want to roar with an anger that dies as soon as he feels it. There is no place for anger in the City of Light. "Abby… Abby, I feel like I forgot something. Something important."
She shakes her head a little and he opens his eyes again. "There is no pain here. If you don't remember then it is better this way. If you need to… If you need to, Alie will make sure you do when it's time but in the meantime…"
She looks uncertain and he licks his lips, struggling against the fog in his mind.
"I think it has to do with Clarke." he says. "I think she's in danger."
Her right hand clenches a little against his cheek and she slides her arms around his neck again to press her face against his shoulder. She's trembling. She's fighting, he senses, fighting against this peace that wants to wash over everything.
"Marcus…" she breathes out. "Marcus, who is Clarke? I know I should know. I know… But…"
"Clarke is…" He falters. Who is Clarke? "Clarke is…"
Pain, Clarke is pain, for you and for me, a new voice whispers in his head, a colder one, one he doesn't quite identify. You have to protect Abby from pain and the City of Light can do that. You can be happy here. You are happy here. Safe. Together. Forever. No more pain. No more hardship. Only peace.
"I'm scared." Abby confesses. "I'm not supposed to be scared."
"I'm scared too." he admits. And she is right, it isn't supposed to happen. Not here. He looks around, propping his chin on her shoulder and the apartment doesn't look as perfect, as welcoming. "How did you find this place?"
"There is a place for everyone here." she answers. "This is mine. I wanted it to be ours."
"Ours." he repeats and he likes the sound of that so much that the fear abates a little. He wants to say he missed her just like she had earlier but he doesn't remember why he feels this way. There is no reason to feel this way. She is here now. With him. And they would remain together. "Yes."
He doesn't know what he is saying yes to.
"I feel like something is missing." she frowns a little, drawing back to look at him. "I thought it was you but it is still missing."
He thinks about the room with the drawing stuff and to the other three bedrooms with random objects like mythology books, tools and pictures of horses. He thinks the rooms belong to people. But who?
The whole thing feels odd, like a dream. Marcus feels like he is sleepwalking.
"We're real." he says firmly. "You and me, we're real."
"We're real." she echoes with equal firmness, fisting his shirt in her hand. "We are."
He isn't sure of much. Every time he thinks he remembers, a wave of peace washes the memories away. But if he is sure of anything he is sure of her. Them.
She looks as lost as she is, equally struggling with her own mind.
He kisses her because of this strange latent fear in his chest, because something he can't quite understand is whispering he could lose her, has lost her, will lose her… She kisses back with utter abandon and equal despair.
And then the feeling is gone again and there is just her and his love for her and everything is right in the world again.
"Something's wrong." she whispers against his lips.
"Yes." he agrees.
A flash of something clouds her eyes and she runs her hand all the way down his arm, unwrapping it from her waist to brush her thumb on his palm.
"Marcus…" There is an urgency to her voice. "Marcus, did I hurt you?"
"It wasn't you." The words are out before he can think them and he blinks. "I don't… I don't remember." But he is sure of this. "You wouldn't hurt me."
It was Jaha…
And he really wants to snap Jaha's neck.
Again, the thought is gone as soon as it is formed.
Abby's frown is still there and she brings his palm to her lips, seeking an absolution he doesn't know how to grant because he doesn't remember the offense. She doesn't relinquish his hand when she steps back, locking her eyes with his. And he follows. Freely.
She guides him to the bedroom, their bedroom – and it is obvious now, there are touches of them everywhere, it reminds him of the war room, of how they can take a space and make it theirs – and stands at the foot of the bed, tilting her head to the side.
It isn't really a question, more of an invitation.
He brushes her long hair over her shoulder and trails his fingers on her cheek before leaning in for a kiss. He takes his time, they aren't in any hurry for once. He explores and learns. The shape of her mouth, the taste of her kiss, what makes her hum and what makes her hand clench at the small of his back…
She is impatient, as always, and it makes him smile because he would have made the moment last a little longer, relish in the sweetness, but her hands are already pulling his shirt over his head and he is surprised, for a short second, not to feel the heavy weight of his guard jacket on his shoulders. Idiotic, there are no needs for guards in the City of Light.
The shirt out of her way she loses no time in doing some exploring of her own. Her palms roam on his chest, making muscles twitch on their wake. His mouth is parched and he licks his lips.
"Abby…"
It comes out almost begging but he doesn't care. She smiles at him and her mouth soon follows the path her hands have taken, her teeth nibbling on a nipple only for her lips to wander elsewhere before he can process it.
He doesn't really mean to push her on the bed but her knees bump against the mattress and down she goes, steadying herself by grabbing his hips and almost making him topple over. The new height difference seems to please her because her mouth is back on him in a flash, following the trail of dark hair disappearing down his pants. Her fingers are already unbuckling his belt and he barely has time to gather her hair in his hand that his pants and underwear are gone.
Her mouth closes on him and his sight flashes white.
For a perfect moment, pleasure clouds everything. His heart is pumping hard and fast and nothing exists but her lips and her hands and how warm and wet and perfect she feels…
He's close when weird thoughts start coming. It's like static on a screen. There is phantom pain in every bone of his body, the smell of blood in the air, screams and terror…
"Abby…" he calls out and he pulls her away before she can finish him. He pulls her away and kisses her because he needs to know she's there, he needs to know this is real. It's frantic, dictated as much by his need for her than by a cowardly and hopeless attempt at forgetting the odd ghost-like sensations. He kisses her throat and her collarbone, his hands clumsily looking for the zipper…
She's the one who unzips the dress in the end, smiling at his obvious nervousness, and there is so much love and trust and lust in her gaze that he calms down. He calms down and forgets because she is here and safe and it is all that counts.
His hands become less frantic and he peels the dress off her body slowly because he has been wanting to do that for a long time now. Bra and panties follow the dress and for a moment he just watches her, takes her in, commits the sight to memory…
"Are you going to do something or do I have to do everything?" she challenges.
He smirks as he kisses her ankle and moves his mouth up her calf and thigh before starting again with her other leg, never looking away from her eyes.
"You're beautiful." he tells her and he means it. "So beautiful…"
She smiles the same smile she's used to flashing him every time she means mischief and pulls him up by the shoulder until their bodies are perfectly aligned. He knows what she wants but he isn't willing to give it to her yet. He drops his head to her chest, tasting and playing with her breasts, his hands gently kneading all the flesh he could find…
"Marcus…" she protests in a breathless whine when he kisses down her stomach, his intent clear. "Later, please. I want you now."
He sighs and presses a regretful peck on his intended target, smiling when her hips buckle, before settling once against between her legs, his mouth immediately seeking hers.
She is more than ready for him but he goes slowly all the same, if only because he has a clear idea of just how long it has been since her last time.
The sounds she makes when he moves in and out of her are slowly but surely driving him to madness and it takes all he has to control himself, not to give in to the primitive urge to fuck. He kisses the perspiration on her face, feeling the cold drops of sweat running down his own back as he fights to keep his thrusts deep and regular.
He reads the same urge in her eyes, the same hunger for more, but she doesn't ask him to pick up the pace. Next time, he thinks. Next time they would be wild and rough and there would be no restrain but this is their first time and it isn't about sex as much as about them.
They're making love not fucking.
She arcs her back, her breasts pressing against his chest and he presses down with his hips in answer. One of her hands is gripping his butt, the other is tangled in his hair, urging him closer, always closer…
They're almost there now.
Their lips meet and he slips a hand between their bodies, his thrusts becoming a little more chaotic as he strokes her to her climax.
She comes with a cry, tossing her head back, and he follows her over the edge.
The pleasure is blinding.
And in a flash it turns to pain, to the blood in the streets of Polis, to the falsely peaceful faces of their friends kneeling around them, to Jaha speaking in the background, to the smell of death and rot and decay… His whole body is in agony. His eyes meet Abby's and he knows at the look on her face that she is right there with him, awake at last.
Before he can open his mouth it's over.
They are back in their bedroom, panting hard but not for the right reasons.
He is still in her and she is still clinging to him. Their eyes meet just like they had in Polis, and they both stare at each other with pure horror, their memories restored by bliss. Pleasure, he figures, it must have affected the chip somehow.
"Marcus…" she panics. "Marcus… Oh, god… I never meant… I'm so sorry… I had to take the chip… I had to save Raven… It wasn't my choice… I would never… Marcus…"
"It's okay, we'll find a way out." he promises, propping himself on his elbow to cup her cheek, to ground her. "I promise Abby. We'll find a way out."
She blinks and he understands as pleasure fades from her eyes that it won't be so easy.
A way out of what?
The question is puzzling as he comes down from his own high, no longer blinded by his bliss. He smiles down at Abby and she smiles back. He kisses her and rolls on his side so he can cradle her close. She snuggles against him, literally clinging to him and pressing herself as close to him as she can.
She's trembling a little.
He wants to ask if she's okay but it is a stupid question so he swallows it back. Everyone is always okay in the City of Light.
Something is not settling right in his stomach but he doesn't know what it is because he feels happy in a way he hasn't in years if ever. He wonders if she feels the same way.
"I love you." he hums and it is easy to say, no second guessing and no regretting. There are no place for second guessing and regretting in the City of Light.
"I love you." she answers without hesitation or self-consciousness. There are no place for that either in the City of Light.
Just happiness.
Blind, deaf and all-encompassing peace.
Everything he wants and desires is here in this apartment, in his arms.
So why is there an uncomfortable itching at the back of his mind?