*Sorry about the delay…nicked the tip of my index finger off which makes typing hard…but on the mend now and getting used to typing with four fingers on my right hand. Thanks again for reading and reviewing…see ya next time.

One Choice

Chapter 5

It only took Jane a moment to find Paddy sitting at the same booth she had found him all those years ago. As she moved across the bar, her stride was confident and her long legs stretched out in front of her one after the other until she found herself standing before him. She took a deep breath and steadied herself for the encounter that was sure to leave her feeling empty, but in her heart she knew he would not win this round because the only thing that mattered to her now was Maura. Of course she needed to bargain for her mother and brother's safety but this time her father was on his own.

"Paddy…" She nodded at him as she stopped next to the table where he was sitting. She knew the routine. She knew she needed to wait to be invited to sit.

"Well if it isn't Detective Jane Rizzoli…" He tilted his head towards the empty seat across from him indicating she should take a seat. He watched as she slowly but purposely sat down never taking her eyes from his, her gaze unwavering under his scrutiny.

"You know why I'm here…" It was a cautious statement rather than a question.

"Yes…I suppose I do…" His hazel-green eyes that looked so much like Maura's peered over at her.

For a brief second Jane thought she saw a flash of sympathy. "You know? She has your eyes…" Jane said absently.

"No... these…" He said as he pointed to his face. "These belong to a killer…don't compare her to me…never do that." His voice was strained and he bristled slightly at the thought.

"Yeah…but sometimes…like now…I can see the resemblance…" Jane sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it back over her shoulder in an attempt to establish some semblance of dominance over the conversation.

"I hear she's back...and as the new medical examiner." His sudden change in subject let her know that he wouldn't be goaded so easily. He leaned back and regarded her as her expression changed. The air of smug confidence had disappeared only to be replaced with uncertainty. He realized that her love for Maura was still her biggest weakness and he couldn't surpass his arrogant grin.

"I figured you'd know." She couldn't stop the hurt from showing on her face before Paddy noticed. It caused her to frown at her inability to hide her vulnerability. At the mere mention of Maura, she had shown all of her cards. She expected Paddy to try to exploit the weakness he sensed, she would if the tables were turned.

"It must be hard seeing her after all these years…" He mused as he leaned forward to watch her carefully. "Fifteen years is a long time to hold a torch for someone who probably hates you. How does that make you feel?"

"Maura isn't the type of person to hate anyone…even me." She huffed angrily as she glared at him with a hard expression. "You know what I've been through Paddy, what I've given up for my family…why are you pushing me?"

"Maybe because I don't have anything to lose…or maybe it's just because I can. It's in my nature to exploit weakness when I see it…that's why I'm sitting here across from you today. It's not because of my glowing personality or because I'm a smart business man…" He glared back at her. The hazel in his eyes enveloped the green flecks and suddenly they didn't look so much like Maura's anymore. "I didn't force you to make the decision to give up Maura. You did that all on your own."

"Fuck you Paddy…" She hissed lowering her voice so as not to draw attention from his henchmen who tried to linger just out of earshot. "You made me choose between my father's life and the life I could've had with Maura."

"And you chose your father…" He started to say but was interrupted when Jane slammed her hand down on the table causing everyone to stop and look at her.

She only spoke when Paddy gave a quick nod in Sean's direction letting him know everything was alright. "I made the only choice I could live with at the time. I gave up everything and for what? To find myself sitting across from you again begging for something I know won't come or at least if it does, it will be at the expense of someone else. I won't do it Paddy…I'm not that naïve kid anymore."

"No I guess you're not…" He eyed her cautiously, somewhat surprised by her outburst. "Why are you here Jane if not to bargain for your father's life?"

"I need to know that my Ma and brothers won't be collateral damage…I need to know that they'll be safe." Her normally soft brown eyes had turned almost black as she dared him to do anything else but agree.

"What could you possibly have to offer in exchange for such a big favor?" The tone of his voice held the hint of a taunt.

"Nothing…" She said, her voice even as she tried to control her emotions.

"Then why would I do it?" He seemed shocked by her answer.

"Because I carry a gun and it's my job to put people like you away forever…and if anything happens to them, you're the first person I'm gonna go after." Her dark eyes flashed angrily at him.

"Touché…" His smile was tight as he watched her. "It's nice having all of the power…isn't it?"

"This isn't about power…it's about what's right." She rubbed her hands together, allowing her fingers to trace the scars on the inside of her palms. It had become a nervous habit; one she couldn't quite seem to break.

"And when have I ever done what's right?" He questioned as he watched her rub the scars on her hands. It had been common knowledge that Jane had been to hell and back at the hands of a serial killer. He was slightly awed by her perseverance and it caused him to relent. "But I suppose we all have to start somewhere."

"I knew you'd see it my way." She did her best not to smirk but she couldn't help herself. She realized her mistake too late when Paddy's eyes narrowed and he stiffened in his seat.

"I'll not have you mocking me Jane Rizzoli…" His voice was harsh when her addressed her. "Your mother is a good woman…she doesn't deserve to pay for your father's mistakes but I harbor no sentimentality for your family…it makes no difference to me either way."

"I understand that…" She backtracked slightly at her faux pas. "I meant no disrespect…" She could feel her cheeks grow warm with the embarrassment she was feeling at the sudden shift of the conversation.

"Be that as it may…I can't make any promises but I will do my best to ensure that your mother and brothers are left alone." He offered in concession.

"That's all I ask." Jane looked away from the intensity of his stare. She felt as if he were suddenly trying to read her mind.

"What will you tell Maura?" His hard eyes softened at the mention of his daughter.

"The truth…I can't keep this from her any longer…I won't." She crossed her arms and readied herself for another battle.

"Not even for your father's life?" He feigned concern but Jane knew it wasn't real.

"Not even for him. He made his choice…" Jane leaned forward and looked him right in the eye's. "And I've made mine…my choice is Maura."

For a quiet moment he studied her as she leaned forward to regard him with a somewhat passive expression to hide her nervousness. "Hmmm…we'll see."

"Yes…we will, won't we." The tone in her voice was even as she struggled to contain the nervous feeling that was settling in the pit of her stomach. "I won't compromise my integrity…not for you…not for him…" She started to say.

"But you would for Maura…" The wicked gleam in his eyes caused a shiver to run down Jane's spine, mostly because she knew he spoke the truth.

She looked away from his careful examination, feeling as if she were under a microscope. It was true what he had said, she would do anything for Maura…anything to protect her. "What do you want from me Paddy?"

"I want to know that nothing will ever get in the way of protecting her…not even your job…" He watched her carefully, his expression somewhat guarded.

"You have my word that nothing will ever happen to her as long as I have a breath in my body. Nothing will get in the way of protecting her…not even you." The last words were spoken with pure conviction and had Paddy almost convinced but not quite.

"You are aware that your father has already skipped town?" He asked moving the conversation along to something new. He would need to think about things before revisiting their previous subject.

"Yes…I'm aware of that…" She frowned slightly at the thought of her father running. Up and leaving his family and everything behind seemed too easy and Jane wondered when things had changed.

"Again, I can't make any promises…but I'll try and make sure whatever happens…happens fast." He cleared his throat as the full impact of what he was saying hit Jane.

"I appreciate that…" Her voice cracked with the emotion she was desperately trying to keep under control. "I need you to know that I won't stay away from Maura…she means too much to me." She pushed even though she recognized he had tried to change the subject.

"Still…even after all this time…" It was a statement that held absolute truth.

"Yes…we promised each other forever…and I intend on spending the rest of my life proving to her that I meant it. Even if I did get a little sidetracked…" She gave him a pointed look as her fingers grazed the leather bracelet on her right wrist.

"Fair enough…but…" He started to say but she quickly interrupted.

"No…no more secrets Paddy. She has a right to know everything." Jane balled her hands into fists.

"It would be in your best interest to remember who you are talking to Jane." His mouth set into a grim line at her outburst. "We both know that there are people who will go after her to get to me, so I am going to ask you again Jane. How far are you willing to go to protect her?"

"I would give my life for hers without a moment's hesitation…" Her words were soft and heartfelt and the look in her eyes told Paddy all he needed to know.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that…but understand what I'm saying…she's my daughter and I won't hesitate to protect her no matter who gets in the way…even if it's you or your brothers in blue." He needed her to know he would stop at nothing to keep Maura safe.

"And as I said before… I will take you down if I have to…she is all that matters to me now." She said in a low voice.

A tense silence settled over them before Paddy gave a sly grin. Perhaps he had underestimated Jane Rizzoli…or perhaps she had underestimated him…only time would tell.

Maura slipped into a seat at a table next to the window of 'La Petite Boulangerie' where the late afternoon sun filtered in. She let out a heavy, sad sigh as she sat bathed in the warmth of the amber light even though it felt good against her skin. Each day that went by without seeing Jane made her feel unbalanced especially since she had no idea what was happening or why Jane seemed to have disappeared. She recalled her last conversation with Vince and how sad he had looked as he told her he didn't really know anything except that Jane needed to tend to some family matters. Her calls to Angela had gone unanswered which was why she now found herself sitting in the small neighborhood bakery. It was her last resort. She placed an elbow on the table, leaning a cheek against her hand as she fingered the small packets of sugar with the other hand. A frown appeared on her face as she continued to think until a familiar voice brought her out of her reverie.

"Hey…why do you look like you've lost your best friend?" Carly Rizzoli set a cup of coffee and a scone down in front of Maura before taking the seat across from her.

"Well, we both know that is a long story…without a happy ending I might add." Maura wrapped her hands around the hot coffee mug, sighing at its warmth.

"It's never too late for happy endings Maura…" Carly gave her that crooked grin that was so much like Janes it caused Maura's heart to ache.

"How's business?" Maura asked as she brought the mug up to her lips to take a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

"It's good…you know that." Carly's light blue eyes flashed in the sunlight as she tilted her head to study Maura for a minute. When Maura didn't speak, she reached over to put a hand on her arm. "What really brings you here Maura?"

"Maybe I just want to check on my investment…" Maura looked away, unable to meet Carly's concerned gaze.

"You did that last month Maura…nothing's changed…" Carly gave Maura's arm a gentle squeeze. "Do you want to try again?"

Maura just shook her head as she took a bite of her scone. "Ummm…this is good. Cranberry orange?"

With a slow, understanding nod, Carly watched Maura chew her scone before swallowing. "You aren't very good at diverting; you know…?"

"I guess…" Maura sighed as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Is this about Jane?" Carly pressed.

Maura's only answer was a small nod as she continued to pick at her scone.

"Look Maura…I can't help if you don't talk to me." Carly gave a frustrated sigh.

"Sorry…I'm just not good at expressing myself…" Maura tried to explain.

"Bullshit…" Carly huffed impatiently.

Maura's eyes grew wide with surprise at Carly's admonishment. It was true that from the moment she had entered the small bakery she had carried a forlorn expression on her face, one that she was trying to desperately hide behind. But to have Carly call her out so forthright was something she wasn't used to.

"You came to me Maura…I can't keep trying to pull things out of you if you aren't willing to talk about them in the first place? Help me out here…start talking." Carly lifted her own coffee to her lips and peered expectantly at Maura.

"Jane hasn't been at work for the past few days…and I don't know why…although I suspect it has something to do with Angela and Frank." Maura said as she looked out the window at the people moving along the busy street.

"What? I haven't heard anything…" Carly frowned as she thought about her last conversation with her mother. Nothing had been said to indicate there was anything wrong. Except the fact that Jane had tried to call the night before, leaving a cryptic message about finally 'righting wrongs…'. She set her coffee down and crossed her arms as a shiver ran through her.

"We both know that Jane's job is her life…and for her to take personal days…" Maura didn't seem to notice Carly's reaction as she sighed again.

"I guess you don't have to be around her every day to already know that." Carly said absently.

"Look…it's probably nothing…but…" Maura ran her fingers through her hair before tucking a few stray strands behind her ear. "I don't know…I've just got a bad feeling. It's not like me to go on feelings…I believe in facts…figures…"

"Well…it's a fact that something important has come up…important enough for Jane to take time off of work." Carly cocked a dark eyebrow at Maura.

"Yes, that much is true." Maura bit down on her bottom lip. It was a nervous habit she thought she had broken.

"Maura…why are you here?" Carly tilted her head to regard Maura as she fidgeted in her seat. When there was no answer, light blue eyes met hazel-green with understanding. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to have taken the M.E. job."

"Maybe…but it's too late for regrets." Maura let out a heavy breath. "This is harder than I thought it would be…" Her voice trailed off as she placed her chin in the palm of her hand and studied Carly's reaction to her words.

"What did you expect?" Carly challenged.

"I honestly don't know…but not this…" Maura wave her hands in frustration. "I still want her Carly…God help me…but I do. What am I going to do?" The puff of air that Maura exhaled caused her hair to flutter over her forehead before falling into her eyes.

"I suspected that you've never gotten over her." Carly reached across the table to push Maura's hair away from her eyes. It was a tender gesture between friends, one that brought the first genuine smile to Maura's lips. "Do you think you could forgive her?"

"I don't know…" Maura answered honestly as she took Carly's hand in her own. She gave it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. "It broke me when she walked away…there's only been one person since her that I thought I could love."

"Ian…" Carly said the name with disdain. "He used you Maura…it was never about love." She stiffened slightly at the memory of the handsome and charming man she had met several years ago.

"You never liked him…" Maura mused as she watched Carly's body language change. "Do you mind my asking why?"

"He never looked at you the way she did…" Carly sighed as she allowed her body to relax. Ian was gone and he wasn't coming back, at least she hoped he wasn't.

"No one has ever looked at me like she did." Maura let out a wistful sigh. "Maybe I need to get out…go on a date…"

"Um…why don't you come over for dinner?" Carly said suddenly, interrupting Maura's train of though. "Ryan can set you up…we can double date." She was desperately trying to think of something to keep Maura from making what she thought was a mistake.

"Double date? You mean a blind date?" Maura seemed surprised by the invitation. "I'm not sure I'd like that very much…"

"Look, April is a friend of Ryan's…she just started working for the DA's office a few months ago." Carly paused when Maura raised a suspicious eyebrow. "She's nice enough…" It wasn't a lie, bit Carly knew her highbrow attitude and the smug air about her wouldn't appeal to Maura. "Come on…what have you got to lose?" But she knew that Maura had a lot to lose if she didn't give Jane another chance. She had always suspected that what happened fifteen years ago hadn't been Jane's choice.

"Well…I suppose it wouldn't hurt…" Maura resolved herself to the fact that she needed to get out and be social. Pinning away for a lost love she couldn't get back wasn't healthy. She thought that perhaps she might find someone to help her forget, but deep down she knew she wouldn't. "Okay…when?"

"How about tomorrow night?" Carly said brightly as she pushed away from the table. She needed to call Ryan as soon as possible.

"Yeah…okay…that'll work." Maura's dark mood seemed to have lifted temporarily. "But if you hear anything…" She gave Carly a hopeful look as her voice trailed off.

"You'll be the first to know…" Carly smiled as she bent down to give Maura a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. There was a lot that needed to be accomplished if she was to slow Maura down long enough to give Jane a second chance and one of the first things she needed to do was find Jane.