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Save Me A Seat

Chapter 8

The second the doorbell rang, Carly's gut told her that she knew exactly who it was. When she rose from her chair to answer the door, all eyes feel upon her with curiosity and she did her best to school her expression into a neutral one. She could tell by Ryan's stiff posture that she wasn't the only one to think that it might be Jane so when their eyes met Carly could read all of the unspoken words that Ryan was struggling to keep to herself. As quickly as she could, Carly moved around the table, heading towards the door. It should have surprised her to open the door to find Jane standing on the other side, but it didn't. What did surprise her however was Jane's casual smile and relaxed posture as she stood, leaning against the doorframe waiting for Carly to invite her in.

"Hey…what's for dinner? I'm starving…" Jane grinned at her cousin before pushing away from the doorframe that had become a very convenient way to hold herself up.

"Um…" Carly struggled to find the words as she squared her shoulders in an effort to block Jane from pushing past her. Instead of being angry at the uninvited intrusion, her eyes widened at the sight before her. Jane had faint purplish smudges under her eyes marring the skin that usually had a healthy glow. There were fine lines at the edges of her eyes etched deep with the fatigue that radiated from her. "We've got company Jane…"

"Oh…" Jane's grin turned into a dejected frown as she tried to peer over Carly's broad shoulders in an attempt to see if she knew who was there. "I guess I shoulda called first…" Her voice dropped in disappointment as she shifted from one foot to the other. The movement caused her to wobble slightly so she reached out to grab the doorframe again, doing her best to make it look casual.

"Yeah, well…how 'bout I make you a plate to go…" Carly could see that Jane was disappointed and she wanted to try to alleviate some of the stress she could see suddenly fixed on Jane's once relaxed face. The fact that Jane's legs were wobbly hadn't escaped her notice either.

"Nah…don't worry…I'll just grab a burger or something." Jane shoved her hands into her pockets and shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't keep the disappointment from echoing in her voice as rocked back onto the balls of her feet. "Hey…" She tilted her chin towards the dining room. "Anyone I know?"

"No…" Carly's response was rather quick and sharp causing Jane to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "Just someone that Ryan works with…" She tried to calm the nervous tremor in her voice. The guilt was written all over her face and she knew that Jane was astute enough to notice but then she though that perhaps Jane wasn't at her best so maybe she wouldn't notice.

"Hmmmm…" Jane tilted her head to study Carly's face for any signs of strain. For some reason she had a strange feeling that Carly was hiding something. When Carly smiled at her, she decided she would just have to let it go because she had other things she needed to concern herself with. "Guess I'll catch up with you later…" She started to say as she turned to leave but something caused her to stop. The sound of laughter carried to her and her back stiffened at the familiarity of it. Slowly she turned around to see that Carly had a look on her face that was a mixture of fear and sorrow. Their eyes met as silence surrounded them and Jane strained to hear the sound again but when it didn't come she thought that maybe she had been hearing things. Just as she was about to give up, the sound came again. The light melodic laughter was as familiar to her as her own breath. Her eyes widened as she continued to look at Carly, seeing the answer in the depths of light blue that gazed at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry Jane…" Carly started to say but was interrupted when Jane made to push past her.

"Maura's here?" Jane's voice held a sense of urgency that Carly hadn't heard in a long time.

"Yes…she is…" Carly planted her feet firmly on the ground so that Jane couldn't push past her easily. She needed to make sure that Jane was going to be reasonable.

"What the fuck Carly…? Why is Maura here?" Jane leaned against the doorframe again, her breath coming in uneven bursts. Her depleted strength was beginning to show under the strain of the moment.

"If you'd answer your dame phone once in a while…you'd know." Carly huffed as anger took a hold of her. "I wanted to tell you." She crossed her arms essentially making more difficult for Jane to get past her. She could see that adrenaline was about the only thing keeping Jane on her feet at this point.

"You wanted to tell me what? That you set her up on date? Are you shitting me right now Carly?" Jane's voice shook with something that bordered along disbelief and resentment.

"Jane…" Carly sighed exasperated. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well…you can start by getting the hell outta my way." Jane gathered what little strength she had left and muscled her way past the imposing figure that had been blocking her entrance.

Jane rounded the corner and walked into the room with a smile on her face. The cozy scene that greeted her had her anger reaching the boiling point but she hid it well. Ryan, Maura and some blonde woman Jane did not recognize were sitting at the table, each with a glass of wine and plate of food. Her eye's went from Ryan to the blonde before coming to rest on the back of Maura's head. She had to blink back the black dots that started to dance around her vision as she felt the floor reaching up towards her. It only took a few deep breaths to steady herself as she continued to stare at Maura's back.

Maura felt the moment the atmosphere changed in the room. She knew someone was watching her and without looking she knew who it was. The tingling that started in the pit of her stomach had nothing to do with the two glasses of wine she had consumed or the fact that she was hungry. It was a presence she had come to recognize, one that had once set her world on fire. Swallowing back her nervousness, she finally allowed herself to look over her shoulder. She could see Jane's hard expression soften at her look of innocent surprise but quickly change back to that hard, protective countenance when her eyes went to April.

"Jane?" Maura tried to steady her voice. She had almost convinced herself that she might never see Jane again but there she stood in all of her angry glory, nostrils flaring and eyes flashing as she looked around the room. The sight of Jane's barely contained fury caused Maura's stomach to flip flop because she knew the passion that lay just beneath the surface.

"Hey…" She tipped her chin in Maura's direction. She felt like her movements were clumsy and oafish but to everyone else they looked smooth and calculated. Her eyes drifted slowly to fall back on Maura and she felt her knees threaten to buckle under the hazel-green gaze that looked at her with concern.

Maura could sense the tension in Jane was coiled like a spring just waiting to burst. It had been years since she had seen Jane with her emotions so close to the surface but Maura could still remember how volatile she could be. In an effort to calm the tempest that threatened, Maura spoke again. "I've been worried Jane…you haven't been at work all this week…is everything okay?" She reached out her hand in an effort to comfort but Jane just shook her head letting Maura know she wouldn't take solace in the offer. Maura couldn't hide the crest fallen look on her face as Carly caught her eye over Jane's shoulder giving her a sad smile.

"Yeah…you look real worried." Jane smirked as her eyes drifted from Maura to April where they stopped.

"That's not fair Jane…" Maura started to say but was cut off.

"Fair? What's fair about any of this?" Jane waved her hands around the room. Both Maura and Carly could sense that the statement pertained to something deeper than either one of them understood.

"Look, we're trying to have a nice dinner here Jane…just some friends…enjoying a nice evening…sharing in each other's company." Ryan sighed as she sank back in her chair giving April an apologetic smile.

"Yeah…well…sorry to put a cramp in your style." Jane directed her unfounded anger at Ryan who just smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry too Jane…it really is just a couple of friends getting together though." Ryan's eyes flashed a warning to Carly who was standing behind Jane. She had been against this whole blind date set up since Carly had asked her to invite April. It had been painfully obvious since the moment the evening had begun that Maura's thoughts had been elsewhere and now Ryan realized where. Letting out a heavy sigh, she brought her wine glass up to mouth to take a sip before speaking again. "You are welcome to join us Jane…" She could see that Jane was unsteady on her feet and she attributed it to lack of sleep and probably food as well.

"Oh…I wouldn't want to be a third wheel on your double date…any way it doesn't look like you saved me a seat…" Jane shook her head at Ryan's offer.

"This isn't a date Jane…not really…" Maura started to say.

"Then tell that to her…" Jane's eyes flashed with anger as she tilted her head towards April who had moved even closer to Maura.

"April…this is my cousin Jane Rizzoli…Jane this is April Birch…" Carly slipped past Jane who continued to stand looking down at everyone.

"Jane Rizzoli…?" April looked surprised. "You mean Detective Jane Rizzoli with BPD homicide?"

Jane gave the slightest not, not really caring if anyone saw or not. She didn't like what she saw in the body language of April as she leaned closer to Maura in a possessive way. She didn't look away from either, instead trying to silently convey the anger she was feeling.

"The same Jane Rizzoli that likes to bend the rules…making our jobs all that more difficult?" April made a face like she had just eaten something sour. Four sets of eyes filled with surprise fell on April as the tone of her voice indicated she was not at all pleased to meet Jane.

"Hey…wait a minute…" Ryan began to wave her hand in the air to get everyone's attention. The tension in the room had risen to an explosive level brought on by April's thoughtless words.

"You've said it yourself Ryan…you're always having to put out fires she's…" April nodded towards Jane as she spoke, a smirk settling on her face. "Setting…"

When Ryan looked at Jane, she could see the hurt and uncertainty flickering in the dark eyes that looked back at her. It broke her heart to see that look on Jane's face because it looked so much like Carly when she was experiencing the same emotions. "April…" Ryan said through gritted teeth. "Although Jane has at times practiced unconventional methods to get the bad guys…her conviction rate is astounding and I won't have you diminishing her stealer reputation…with that being said…yes, it can sometimes be difficult." She couldn't help but give Jane a small smile to let her know that she meant it with the best intentions. Relief flooded her senses when she saw Jane's crooked grin directed her way.

"Whatever…I don't get it…she's a mess…just look at her." April turned her attention to Jane's appearance. "She can't even bother to iron her clothes or comb her hair…"

"Hey Lady…" Jane started to say as she made a move to step closer to April. She wasn't sure what was happening to prevent her forward momentum when she felt herself going backwards, so she struggled harder to get to her target. It wasn't until she heard a voice in her ear that she realized Carly had grabbed her around the waist and was dragging her off towards the guest bedroom. "What the hell!" Jane continued to struggle as Carly continued to pull her away. "Let me the fuck go…!" Jane's anger was at the boiling point as she continued to fight against Carly's hold. It was a feeble attempt on her part and Carly could feel what little strength Jane had draining fast. "Aw…come on Carly…" Jane's voice cracked as she felt herself being pushed into the guestroom and then down onto the bed as Carly turned to close the door.

"No…you need to cool off." Carly pushed her hair out her face as she turned back to look at Jane. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she dropped down onto the bed and wrapped her arm around Jane's shoulder. It wasn't until she felt Jane's head resting on her shoulder that she allowed herself to relax. "Now…wanna talk about it?"

Maura wasn't at all sure what to think about what had just happened. Her opinion of April was all but non-existent and all she could think about was going to make sure that Jane was alright. She had to fight the urge to follow them and it wasn't until she felt Ryan's reassuring hand on her leg that she realized she had been poised to run. Shaking her head in an attempt to dispel the thoughts and feeling that were threatening to overcome her, she took a shaky sip of her wine. Having been witness to Jane's wrath was one thing, but to see the passion in her eyes was enough to shake Maura's world. It all came rushing back…the feelings, the anger, the hurt…everything she had ever felt since the almost two years she had been with Jane toppled over her like a wave.

"Are you alright Maura?" Ryan quietly asked. She had watched as Maura grew paler and paler with each passing second.

"Um…yeah…I think I should take April home though…give Jane a chance to cool off." Maura started to get up but stopped when April put her hand on her arm.

"What? Why…we haven't even had dinner yet. Why should we let her ruin our evening?" April sniped as she tugged Maura back down to her seat.

"I think Maura's right." Ryan gave April a pointed look to let her know there was to be no argument.

"Alright then…" April tossed her hair over her shoulder. The move reminded Maura April's earlier move and she couldn't stifle the giggle that escaped her lips.

Ryan raised a questioning eyebrow at Maura who couldn't seem to stop herself from laughing out loud. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" She couldn't help but ask.

"I am, thanks though." Maura wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes with the backs of her hands. Suddenly she turned very serious as she continued to wipe at her cheeks. The laughter was gone and the tears that had been brought on by humor had been replaced with tears of frustration. "You will take care of her…won't you?"

"Yes…I promise…" Ryan reached out and gave Maura's arm a reassuring pat. "We'll have to do this again…minus the drama." She gave Maura a knowing wink and received a grateful smile in response.

"Yes…just let me know so we can do this again." April chimed in as she slipped her arm through the crook of Maura's elbow.

All Ryan could do was roll her eyes as Maura tried to pull herself away from the arm that seemed to have latched itself to her. She watched as Maura maneuvered herself out of April's hands and eventually her reach as she headed towards the door without looking to see if April was following her.

"Let me know if you need anything from me…" She said over her shoulder as she slipped her arms into her leather jacket. Deep down she hoped that Jane needed her but the logical and reasonable parts of her brain pushed that thought aside. She was on the verge of dangerous territory and already on shaky ground around Jane. She wasn't sure she could handle anything else at the moment. Her resolve had been all but shattered by the fragile state that Jane had arrived in.

"I will…be careful…" Ryan pushed her wine glass away and stood to follow them towards the door. With a few quick hugs and pecks on the cheeks and a round of goodbyes, she shut the door and rested her forehead against the hard oak letting out a heavy sigh. With Maura and April gone, Ryan did the only thing she could think to do…she went to see if she could do anything to help Jane.

"Wanna tell me what's going on Jane?" Carly asked as she looked at Jane who was leaning against her shoulder.

"Not really…" Jane mumbled.

"Well, you gonna haveta tell me something…" Carly reached over to push some of Jane's hair away from her face so she could see her better. Again she was struck by how tired Jane looked and she couldn't hide the concern in her voice. "When was the last time you slept…or ate?'

"Don't know…" Jane sighed at Carly's comforting touch. "Why'd you have to do that Carly?"

"What Jane?" Carly asked as she moved away enough so she could look into Jane's dark eyes.

"Why'd you have to set Maura up on a date?" Jane's shoulders dropped as her body felt the defeat that was ringing in her ears.

"I really did try to call you Jane…Maura's been really worried about you. What's going on?" Carly's eyes searched Jane's as she tried to find the answer in the depths of brown that almost looked empty.

Jane took a shuttering breath as she tried to speak but the words wouldn't come, only tears to replace what she couldn't bring herself to say.

Wrapping both of her arms around Jane, Carly pulled her into a hug and rested her chin on the top of Jane's dark head. For what seemed like forever, they sat there like that, neither saying anything until there was a light knock at the door.

"Yeah?" Carly asked, her voice quiet and soft so as not to disrupt the comfortable quiet that had surrounded her and Jane.

"I just wanted to see if you needed anything?" Ryan pushed the door open just enough for her head to slip through.

"Thanks…but I think I got it." Carly gave her an appreciative smile as she continued to hold Jane.

Ryan watched as Carly comforted Jane and her heart all but melted at the tenderness that flowed from Carly. 'I love you…' She mouthed the words and Carly mouthed them back. With a heavy sigh, she gave a slight nod before closing the door.

"I have to talk to Maura…" Jane let out a tired huff as she suddenly struggled to pull away from Carly's hold.

"Are you sure that is such a good idea…I mean after everything that's happened tonight?" Carly released Jane from their hug and tilted her head to regard her.

"Look, there are things I need to tell her…things she has a right to know. I'm sorry but I just really can't talk about it to anyone but her…" Jane used the palms of her hands to wipe away the tears that had slowed to a stop.

"Okay…but tell me…does this have anything to do with what happened fifteen years ago and what you're dealing with now?" Carly asked even though she thought she already knew the answer.

"I suppose it does…" Jane gave a non-comital shrug. She had to look away from the intense blue eyes that tried to see the truth in her own.

"So that message you left yesterday about 'righting wrongs'…is that what you are going to do? Are you going to finally tell Maura what caused you to leave her?" The words lingered between them unanswered like a heavy fog before Jane gave the slightest nod, her eyes were watching her clasped hands as they rubbed the scars on her palms. "Okay…but you hurt Maura beyond measure…don't expect some purging of your conscious to fix that. It's gonna take time…and a lot of groveling on your part I suspect. But remember…no matter what happens at first…you're gonna need to let Maura process things, just don't give up on her because I think she still loves you…"

Jane looked up in surprise at Carly's words, her face filled with awe. "I get that…you're not the first person to tell me that…but, you think…" Jane suddenly got a very dry mouth. "You think she still loves me?"

"I do, but I don't think she's ready to accept it yet." Carly put a hand on Jane's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I do, ya know…" Jane gave Carly a sheepish grin. "I still love her…and I won't be making the same mistakes again."

"Are you okay to drive? You look dead on your feet…" Carly asked as she watched Jane stand up on shaky legs.

"Yeah…yeah…I'm just gonna go out there and ask Maura if I can take her home so we can talk." Jane steadied herself as she reached down to help pull Carly to her feet. The move was more for her than it was for Carly who accepted the hand with a grateful smile before following Jane to the kitchen.

"Hey? Where'd they go?" Jane inquired as they came upon Ryan washing two empty wine glasses.

"Maura decided it was best to take April home…she thought you needed some time to cool off." Ryan said over her shoulder as she dried the glasses. Of course she knew that Maura had no interest in April but she realized too late that Jane didn't.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jane's voice rose over the running water. "What the hell…can't I catch a break?" She threw her hands up in the air in defeat.

"Hey…if it's any consolation…Maura isn't the least bit interested in April. I kinda set them up cuz I knew that Maura wouldn't like her." Carly couldn't hide the hint of smugness from her tone.

"Yeah…?" Jane looked over at Carly who was leaning against the kitchen counter watching her with a small grin on her face.

"Yeah…get outta here…if you leave now you can catch her when she gets home." Carly waved Jane towards the door.

"Um…thanks…and I'm sorry about the way I acted." Jane's eyes came into contact with Ryan's as the apology was mostly meant for her.

Ryan gave her a guarded smile but accepted the apology for what it was worth. She could see that Jane was struggling with demons from the past that still haunted her and she hoped that there would eventually be some sort of closure for both her and Maura. It was time to move past the ghost of a relationship that never had the chance to grow. If they were lucky they would be find their way back to each other just like Carly had said earlier. 'They do belong together…I just hope they can forgive each other and start again.' Ryan thought to herself as she watched Jane leave.

"Why the pensive look?" Carly moved to wrap her arms around Ryan's waist.

"I just hope they figure things out. They are both hurting so much right now and the only way to change that is through forgiveness." Ryan snuggled against Carly's chest.

"I have a good feeling about this…" Carly sighed as she ran her fingers through Ryan's shoulder length blonde hair. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not today?" Ryan relaxed into the soft, gentle strokes of Carly's fingers running through her hair.

"Well…I do…"

"What say we skip dinner and go straight for the dessert?" Ryan pulled away from Carly's arms, taking her hand as she moved towards the doorway.

"Absolutely…" Carly grinned as she allowed Ryan to pull her away from the kitchen. With Ryan's hand in her own she had an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be alright…for everyone.

"So…what's the deal with you and Rizzoli? I'd say you have some sort of history there…or am I mistaken?" April ventured to ask even though Maura had stayed quiet from the moment they had gotten into the car.

Giving a sideway glance so she didn't take her eyes off of the road for long, Maura couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment at the intrusive question. She hadn't wanted to explain her past relationship with Jane to a virtual stranger, especially someone she was sure to come across at work. For almost a minute she didn't say anything as she thought about what to say. She decided that simple and to the point was the best way to deal with April. "Yes…and that's all I'm willing to say on that subject." The tone of her voice held a warning as she griped the steering wheel tighter.

"Sorry…I was just wondering. She seemed pretty upset to see you at Ryan and Carly's with me…" April reached out to put her hand on Maura's thigh.

The bold move took Maura by surprise and as casually as she could, she reached down and removed the hand placing it gently back into April's lap with a quick pat before putting her hand back on the steering wheel.

"So is it safe to say that we aren't going to go beyond tonight?" April flexed her fingers as if she were shaking off the lingering effects of Maura's touch.

"Yes…you'd be safe in assuming that." Maura let out a heavy breath.

"Too bad…I'd like to get to know you better." April shrugged her shoulders. "But I'm not sure I can deal with a jealous ex…" She paused to look at Maura. "That's it isn't it…she's an ex."

Maura gritted her teeth at the audacity of the question. She thought she had made it clear that she hadn't wanted to talk about it but April wasn't letting it go. Shaking her head in an attempt to dispel the anger that was building within her chest she decided to stay silent until she had pulled up in front of April's condo.

Putting the car in park, Maura turned to April suddenly and studied her for a moment. She tried to smile but it was just too hard to pretend she had any feeling for the woman sitting next to her. "Look…think what you want but our date was going nowhere from the beginning. I'm sorry if I led you on, I was just trying to enjoy the rest of the evening and the good company. I hope you understand."

"Well, I guess this is it then." April opened her door but didn't get out right away. "It was nice meeting you Maura…if you ever change your mind…give me a call." With those final words, April climbed out of the car and shut the door leaving Maura alone to her thoughts…thoughts filled with one Detective Jane Rizzoli.