Please note! Chapters 168 to 173 will not be posted here because they deal primarily with the boys exploring their sexuality. If you want to see these stories, or you'd like to see the unedited version of this chapter, you'll have to visit my Live Journal account. You can find the site posted on my profile. Thanks for reading!

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Master and Wufei spent most of Saturday morning discussing which parties they would attend in the next week. Master had received ten invitations to Collar parties, which was fairly high and probably mostly because of the notoriety of both Duo and Wufei. It would be unrealistic to try to attend all of the parties he had been invited too, and would probably make Master look proud or desperate for approval. The rest of us slaves waited anxiously for word of which parties we would be attending. I had heard that the Duke had offered an invitation, but I was fairly certain it would not be accepted.

In the afternoon, Master assembled everyone and informed us that the three parties had been chosen.

"I picked the parties based primarily on the respect of the host, the ability to socialize, and the safety of you boys. I've been told that the level of competition will become higher the closer we get to the actual competition, and could actually reach dangerous levels. Because of this, I have chosen not to attend the Duke or Marcel's parties, even though I received invitations to both and would love to show you all off," Master said, obviously reassuring both Quatre and me. "We will be attending the parties of Master Vincent, Dr. Darus, and Master Adrin. All three have won Collar at least twice, and all have had slaves that placed first in different categories every year."

"Which categories?" Duo wondered.

"Vincent's slaves place in the arts categories, the doctor's place in strength and agility, and Adrin's slaves have placed in the sexual competitions every year since you left. I was hoping to get a look into the sexual competitions since you've been out for so long. I'm sure the other Masters are hoping to size up the competition as well, so if any of you are asked to show off your skills, I want you to use something that is a mid-range routine, not your best performance."

"Do you think we'll have to perform?" I wondered anxiously.

"It… seems pretty likely," Master admitted. "I think that's one of the big reasons for these competitions. It's sort of a last-minute way to find out what your chances of winning are."

"Don't sweat it, Tro," Duo said, patting my shoulder. "You just show off a couple old tricks and check out the other guy. It's really no big thing. It's like… practice, but with a crowd."

That didn't make me feel any better.

"I'm sure you'll be wonderful," Quatre said softly, lacing his fingers with mine. He smiled encouragingly and I couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling a little better.

"Alright, then, since that's settled, I'd like everyone to take the day off. I know this week is probably going to be pretty stressful, and it'll only get worse as Collar approaches. I'd like you all to take as much practice equipment with you to these parties as you can and continue your practice routine as closely as possible. Once the partoes are over, we'll only have one week before Collar begins."

At these words, I felt a shiver of nervousness, and saw the same look of trepidation on the faces of the other boys.

"Come now, don't look at me like that," Master soothed, brushing the hair out of Quatre's eyes. "You're all doing very well. I'm extremely pleased with you performances. I know you'll do your best."

"Getting all worried isn't going to help anything," Wufei added, rising from his chair. "You might as well enjoy this last day of freedom. Between the party events and the rush to perfect your routines, the next couple of weeks are going to be hell. Trust me, I know," Wufei assured, herding us from the room.

"I've got some new outfits for all of you!" Master called as we left. "They're in your ro- oomph!"

Apparently, Wufei knew exactly how he wanted to spend his last day at home.

The rest of us paired up and wandered off. Quatre and I eventually meandered into the music room. He played the piano while I accompanied on the flute. After all the practice I'd been doing, I didn't feel much like singing, and it was nice to just enjoy making music without any pressure.

We played for about an hour. Quatre sat at the piano while I sat in the window seat that overlooked the front yard. Out the window, I could see Heero and Duo playing a game of basketball on the court, sweating and smiling to their rough play.

Eventually, we all tired of playing. I knew Heero and Duo's game was finished when Duo tossed the ball into the grass and leapt at Heero, pushing him out of my line of vision. Smiling at his antics, I decided to follow suite, putting aside the flute and moving over to Quatre. I lifted his hands from the keys and gently massaged his fingers, then brought them to my lips to kiss each one. Quatre giggled and rose from the piano, silently entering my embrace. We kissed again, our lips meeting gently and unhurriedly. After all, we had all evening. Heero and Duo might be all roughhousing and adrenaline, but I could tell that Quatre was looking for something slower today, and more than before I felt the keen urge to go slowly and savor our moments together. Once again on the cusp of a dramatic change, I could only hope that this wouldn't be our last fond memory together.

I led Quatre to the couch when our kiss had deepened past using tongues and into slipping hands under garments. My shirt was long gone, and Quatre's had been unbuttoned and slipped from one shoulder. He shrugged it the rest of the way off, tossing it to the floor before dropping down to the couch and pulling me with him. Once there, it was only moments before he was on my lap, straddling me as he thrust his hands into my hair and kissed me deeply.

-Portion removed for content-

"Mm. I love having sex in the sun," he said, resting his cheek against my chest. "I wonder… if this is the last time I'll get to do it?" he wondered absently, but the very notion made my heart clench.

"Surely we'll get another chance," I whispered, trying not to alarm him with my own fears. He gave me a sleepy little huff.

"I know, I just… I really like this place. It's… It's…"

"Home," I finished, knowing exactly the feeling he was speaking of.

"Exactly," he replied, smiling at me. "I just hate the idea of leaving. I love it so much here."

"We all feel that way."

"I know, I guess I'm just worried about Collar," he said, and I wondered if could… if I dared… talk about my own fears about the events.

"Are you… worried about your events?" I asked cautiously.

"A little," he admitted, and I wasn't entirely surprised. Duo and Wufei were already champs. Heero had been trained for Collar, though he'd never competed. Quatre and I were the only two normal slaves selected, and Quatre had a rich, cultured upbringing to fall back on. I alone was going into the competition with no prior training or experience.

I… was Master's weakest link.

"I mean," he continued thoughtfully, "I'm pretty sure about all my events. I've practiced really hard, and even though some of the other slaves have had longer to study, I think I've managed to do some really neat new things, you know?"

"Oh," I said, hiding my disappointment behind bland interest.

"I just… I don't think it'll help to get all worried and nervous. We can only do our best, right? Once we get to the Collar parties I'll know what I really need to work on. But I think I've got a really good shot at placing pretty high. It's not like we have to win, you know? Between Wufei and Duo's scores, plus the fact that Heero is so good, we only need to place in upper-mid levels to win. I'm pretty confident we can all manage that, don't you think?" he asked.

"O-of course," I told him, but I didn't feel confident about it at all. Between my earlier problems with singing and my lack of prior experience, I was worried about staying in the lower middle ranking. Ad we all knew that one total flop act could bring down the entire score.

I suddenly felt the pressure of that statement send chills of fear down my spine. One bad event, and I could lose the entire game for Master.

"Hey, is something wrong?" Quatre asked, and I knew that he had managed to sense a bad feeling from me, even though his abilities were muted by his medicine.

"I'm just… as sad as you are about leaving here. Just the thought of going to Collar depresses me," I lied easily.

"Oh," Quatre said understandingly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel worse. I mean, I wonder if maybe Master would bring us back here to practice for next year's Collar, if we ask nicely?"

"I'm sure he will," I said, then gently kissed his forehead. Smiling, Quatre sighed and settled comfortably against my chest. It was the picture of serenity.

But my insides were churning with anxiety, and wondered how long I could keep up this act.

We left to attend Master Vincent's party the next morning. We went by plane, which caused Heero some anxiety while boarding, but the private jet calmed him. We reached the location by mid-morning. Duo was thrilled to find that Master Vincent's summer mansion was located on a tropical island, and immediately planned an impromptu search for real coconuts to use in sundaes- at which point Wufei had to point out that coconuts and cocoa beans were two entirely different plants.

"Well how the fuck does that make any sense? Beans? Nuts? What the fuck, man?"

"Duo… just because it has coco in the name does not necessarily mean it can produce chocolate. Besides, cocoa has to be refined and mixed with sugar before it tastes anything like the sweet treats you're used to," Wufei replied, rolling his eyes. Duo stuck out his tongue and was starting his own retort when Master stepped in between them.

"Wufei, you've got to admit that could be a little confusing. But, Duo, I'm sure you'll get to sample some of the local cuisine later on. Besides, climbing for coconuts is actually rather difficult. It's not something I'd recommend if you can avoid it."

"Been up a few coconut trees in your day?" Wufei asked him, and Master smiled.

"Indeed I have, but that's a story best saved for another day. For now, I think it's time we head down and make our introductions," Master said, and we all nodded somberly. We had begun changing into Collar dress as the flight neared landing, and were now all wearing identical wraps that covered our bodies from below the navel to mid-thigh. The fabric of the wraps was pleated, and it gave off a sort of modern, Egyptian look. Our only other coverings were a few adornments. Quatre had decided to wear earrings, bracelets, and a thick collar of silver, and his wrap was silver to match. Duo had chosen the same style, only in gold instead of silver. The rest of us had decided to wear simple leather chokers and armbands, with black wrappings to match. Master was dressed in a long, aristocratic coat ensemble, completed by boots and a small, ceremonial sword. With his hair shining like golden silk, he seemed like the monarch presenting his harem.

Perhaps he was.

The mansion was stunning. White marble was used in most of its construction, but a modern layout kept it from looking antique. It had balconies at every window, and a large marble terrace that overlooked the ocean. The beach itself was almost too perfect, with not even a shell littering the cream-colored sand. Palm trees dotted the coastline, too perfectly spaced to be naturally growing. Looking at the scene as the limousine approached, it looked like something off a postcard more than a real place. It should have been beautiful and inviting, but instead it seemed fake, forced, cold, and alien. Like something had been trying too hard to fit in, and simply made itself all the more noticeable.

There were seven other masters present at Master Vincent's party, which was a fairly normal number of guests for such an event. Master Vincent met each guest and spoke a few moments, but seemed particularly enthused to meet Master for the first time. I think it was probably because, while all of the masters he had invited were competition, none posed such an unknown threat as Master.

"Ah! Master Zechs, I'm so pleased that you could attend," Master Vincent gushed. Master Vincent was not a tall or striking man, nor did he inspire any kind of awe or respect. Facing Master Zechs, he seemed far more like a subject than an equal. Master Vincent was pale despite close proximity of sunny beaches, and his hair was a plain, dark chocolate color. He was short, with broad shoulders that made him look square even though he was not obviously muscular. He was dressed in a pure white, long-sleeved top with black silk pants. He was wearing black beret as well, which I think was supposed to tie the outfit together and make him look both sophisticated yet artistic, but really just made him seem insecure and old fashioned.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Master Vincent," Master replied smoothly, and if any of the things I had noticed about Master Vincent had occurred to him, he certainly didn't let it show.

"The pleasure is all mine, I assure you. But, please, just Vincent. We are friends now, are we not?" Master Vincent said hastily. His voice was energetic but over-eager, and it wasn't difficult to tell that he had ulterior motives for inviting Master.

"Then I must ask you to call me Zechs. And I must thank you for your hospitality. Your home is beautiful."

"Yes, well, one can never get enough of beautiful things," Master Vincent said, casting his gaze on us.

"Indeed," Master said, glancing at Master Vincent's four slaves behind him. The boys were all dressed similarly to their master, with white tank-tops and small, tight, black shorts. Two were slim and dark-haired, with enough muscle and tone to suggest dancers. Another was also dark haired, but significantly taller and more broad than the pair. I noticed that his hands were calloused and wondered if he could be a sculptor. The final slave had honey-colored hair and tanned skin. He was neither slim nor overly muscular, and from the hostile looks he was throwing me I had to assume he was my competition in some event.

"I have to say," Master Vincent continued, turning back to Master. "I was a little surprised to hear that you were going to be competing this year. We've never had a master compete his first year at Collar before. Now that I see your team, though, I'd be shocked if you didn't compete. With Shinigami and The Dragon, you'll be quite a force to be reckoned with, even if you other slaves aren't quite as… experienced as they could be."

"Ah, but experience has a bad habit of become complacency, while youth and inexperience can often be supplemented by enthusiasm and creativity. Which is one of the reasons I was hoping we might be favored with a display of skill from your slaves."

I don't think Master Vincent could have looked more overjoyed if we'd offered him a full summary of our routines. He beamed, and just about tripped over himself in agreeing.

"Of course, you simply must convince your slaves to give us a performance. I'm especially interested in seeing your Dragon perform," Master Vincent said, reaching out to stroke his fingers over Wufei's cheek. Wufei glared daggers at the man, jerking his head away with an irate hiss.

"Dragon!" Master admonished sternly, grabbing Wufei's chin and forcing him to look into Master's eyes. Wufei glared, but allowed the touch. "Behave!" Master snapped, then released him angrily.

It was, of course, an act. Wufei had headed a long-winded lecture on the plane about just how bad it would be for Master to act the way he did at home with us at Collar. Firstly, he stated, it would put all the slaves in danger, because the other masters would know how large an effect killing one of us would be, and would hope that taking one slave out would cause Master to withdraw from the competition. Secondly, it could cause other masters to see Master as weak, and at Collar the only way to gain an advantage was through good contacts and a strong reputation. And, finally, if he and Duo were to act with Master the way they did at home, other would immediately suspect that he was drugging them. Even though this was untrue, the suspicion itself could cause difficulties among the other masters. Better to think that Master had grudgingly gained the respect of two wayward slaves and the devotion of three previously broken ones.

"I'm so sorry for that. Dragon can still be a bit… snappish with strangers. You'll have to forgive him, the trip has left him a bit testy."

"Of course, of course. But you seem to have made great progress with him. I've been told that he's thrown punches at masters that dared to touch him."

I don't think I imagined the shine of pride in Wufei's eyes, or the gentle amusement in Master's.

"Regardless, I do apologize. I don't usually allow such behavior, but I think perhaps the morning has been a bit stressful on all of them."

"Ah, then I must insist you retire to your room for a rest. Shall I see you at lunch?"

"Of course," Master replied. They did a quick farewell, and then one of Master Vincent's other slaves came and led us to our room. It was a beautiful suite, with a balcony that overlooked the sea. For Duo and Heero, it was the first time either of them had ever seen the ocean, and they spent the better part of half an hour holding each other and staring at the golden horizon. The circus I had lived with had often stopped along the ocean at popular tourist towns, but I couldn't help but be awed by the beauty of this particular seen. Or… perhaps it was simply the company I was viewing it with, I mused as I gently cradled Quatre in my arms, my shoulder just brushing Heero's as we stood side by side. I could feel Master behind me, Wufei standing just next to him, as we all gazed quietly as the soft, rhythmic waves.

An hour later, we were headed down to lunch, refreshed and ready to face the evening's events. Master, of course, fed us in the room, but made a show of hand feeding treats to all of us, especially Duo and Wufei, while at the table. The masters' conversations consisted mostly of recent scandal, slave training tips, and Collar competition speculation. I tuned most of it out, content to kneel at Master's feet as I quietly fretted about the upcoming displays I would have to present. I was so dazed by my own fear, that I barely noticed lunch finishing. I had never performed for anyone but Master and the others, so the prospect of showing my skills in front of fifty or sixty people was frightening at best. So, when I heard the masters discussing floral arrangement and I realized that Quatre would be first, I couldn't help but feel relieved, and guilty because of it.

But Quatre, of course, did spectacularly. Faced against Master Vincent's tallest slave, with the calloused hands, and three other slaves from other masters, he was fairly obviously just as skilled as the others. His arrangement may not have been the most modern, but there was a subtle charm to the way he organized the flowers and flowed the colors that was mildly appealing but, more importantly, held the attention and interest of the viewer far longer than any of the other pieces. And, I noted easily, he had both left out some of his favorite flowers to work with and made a few mistakes that were much too amateur for his level of skill. So, even though he easily showed the same amount of skill as the other slaves, it seemed that he had also made a conscious effort not to reveal his true level of skill.

Then… it was my turn.

I tried, vainly, to settle my nerves as we walked down the corridor and into the theater. My panic had become a loud ringing in my ears, and my thoughts flitted through the static in my brain without logic or reason. The heavy draperies or velvet-covered seats barely registered in my consciousness, although I did manage to focus enough to feel a sharp stab of fear as I was led away from Master and the others to wait with the other competitors backstage. From where we waited, just behind the curtains, I could watch each performance. Three of the five boys that performed in the musical competition used instruments- a flute, a harp, and a violin. There were only two of us that carried no instrument, the honey-haired slave of Master Vincent and me. It seemed I had been right about my earlier assessment of us being competitors, and I could tell from the harsh glare he gave me as I stepped on to the stage that he did not like letting anyone else steal his spotlight.

Once on the stage, everything was silent. The ringing in my ears vanished all at once, and the panic that had earlier dazed me now seemed to invigorate me. I could see all the eyes watching me, but it was as though I was encased in a glass box, and nothing outside the box could affect me.

I sang an old folk ballad called "Bones in the Cold River," a mid-level piece that I had mastered weeks ago. With no accompaniment, the song allowed my voice to be heard without interference, and the long, sultry notes allowed me time to play with my vocal range. It wasn't the most impressive piece I had learned, but the audience seemed rapt with attention as I sang, and by the end I felt fairly good about my skills. I even ventured a small smile as I finished.

Master Vincent's slave was up next, and sneered at me as we crossed paths. I could understand competition, but I wondered why this boy seemed to have taken such a dislike to me already. The slave was introduced as Key, and was singing "The Twilight of My Life."

His song was everything mine wasn't. Where mine had been soothing and old fashioned, his was modern and jazzy. Where I had been somber, he was enthusiastic. And where I had been good, he was better. Not only could I find no fault with his vocals, but he managed to move about the stage energetically and smile the entire time. So while the audience had been attentive in my performance, they were nearly jumping out of their seats for his.

I don't think I can describe how it felt to have all my suspicions confirmed. To suddenly realize that, not only was I not good enough, but there was no time to become good enough either. Because not only did I know that this other slave was better than me, but I also could not tell how much better than me he was. What if this was one of his lower-level songs? What if that performance had been nothing to him? How can I say how it felt to suddenly know that I was totally unworthy? It felt like a block of ice had encased my heart, and I welcomed the numbing cold.

Wufei performed next, showing off a routine that he had used several years ago, and obviously outclassing the five other competitors. We relocated to something of a gym for these performances, with the masters sitting on plush chairs while the slaves knelt on the floor. I could tell the Quatre wanted to speak to me, and was grateful that it would have been highly rude for the slaves to speak during the performance. The masters spoke, of course, but the slaves were to remain silent at all times.

The masters ate dinner next, seating themselves around a long table in the grand hall, where a dance would be held later that night. I sat on the floor with the other slaves, feeling alone despite the close circle we made. A little ways through the meal, Quatre touched my knee, and I glanced up to see a worried expression on his face.

"Are you okay?" he mouthed silently, casting nervous glances back at the table. Even this amount of communication could garner a strong rebuke, so I smiled to reassure him.

"Just disappointed," I mouthed, daring to give his hand a quick squeeze before we both settled back to our original positions. I hoped Quatre would stop worrying about me. I wasn't worth his concern.

Half-way through dinner, I got my wish. One of the other masters asked if Master would allow them to see Shinigami perform with "the cute blonde." Master hesitated a moment, probably worried about Shinigami's first public display since Master purchased him, but eventually nodded. I saw Duo lean over, grinning, and lick Quatre on the cheek. Quatre shuddered, looking to anyone else like revulsion, though I knew he was simply trying to suppress a giggle, and then followed Duo out onto the floor, where some of Master Vincent's slaves had set up blankets and pillows for just such a display.

Watching them together didn't hurt as much as it should have, but it did make the numbness spread. I didn't have anything against Duo or sharing Quatre with him, but seeing them together, seeing how Duo could make him smile and moan in ways I never could, made me feel entirely inadequate. I wondered, not for the first time, if Quatre wouldn't be better off if I stepped back and allowed the others to get closer to him. He was probably staying with me out of a misplaced sense of pity anyway. I couldn't fathom any other reason someone as lovely as him would waste his time on someone useless like me.

I spent the rest of the meal staring at my hands and trying to block out Quatre's wanton cries. I noticed that he was smiling again when he sat back down, and I was glad Duo had managed to banish his worry, even as I was upset with myself for causing it. The meal finished quickly after that, and Master, who had been hand-feeding Wufei throughout the meal to impress the other masters, sent the rest of us back to the room to eat, while keeping Wufei with him as he went to play cards.

But… I just wasn't ready to face the others alone yet. Instead, I took one of my armbands off and dropped it in a planter as we walked up. At the door to the room, I made a show of realizing that it was gone.

"Do you want me to help you find it?" Quatre asked, already halfway through the doorway.

"No, I must have dropped it on the way up, so I'll just be a minute."

"Alright," he said, giving me a quick smile before heading into the room. I watched him go until the door shut, then quickly turned and retrieved the band before heading out a side door onto the porch.

The sun was setting, and it caused the pillars supporting the porch above to create wide shadows. I settled in the darkness of one shadow, leaning on the porch railing and just trying to get my mind to settle. Too many things had happened all at once, and it seemed like my only aid in keeping it all together was the numbness that had spread across my mind. I basked in it, let it calm my thoughts and settle my emotions. I was like a shadow that had ventured too close to the light. The chill of the darkness welcomed me, soothed me, and helped me regain my mask of composure. It was bad enough that I could not be enough for Master, but I could not let my own deficiencies cause him any more embarrassment.

I sighed, and was about to head back inside, when a noise behind me startled me, and I turned swiftly around. I found my lips encased in another pair, a strong hand holding my jaw and keeping me still. I gasped, and a tongue forced itself into my mouth, the hand at my jaw now forcing my mouth to remain open. I grabbed the other man's shoulders and shoved him backwards, causing him to trip and fall to the ground as I fell backwards against the railing.

On the ground before me was Key, Master Vincent's light-haired slave and my singing opponent. He sneered at me from the ground, not bothering to get up as he reclined on his elbows.

"What the hell was that?" I snarled, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"What did it look like, genius? To anybody who sees it on the security cameras, it's gonna look like you came out here to meet me, then freaked out half way through our kiss."

"You're bluffing," I hissed, praying that it was true. "There aren't any cameras here."

"Look behind you and up," he said, rolling his eyes. I stifled the urge to kick him in the face as I quickly glanced to the top of the pillar I'd been standing under and saw the small camera lens at the very top.

"Fuck," I hissed under my breath, and Key grinned.

"Exactly."

"What?"

"Look," he said, rising and stepping toward me. "I know you don't want to embarrass your master."

"He'd never believe I did that willingly!" I snarled.

"No, maybe not. But what if all the other masters saw this?" he asked slyly, stepping into my space. "Wouldn't that be… embarrassing for him? He could even lose his reputation. I mean, I'm sure your master will believe you, but to the other masters it might look like he can't keep his own slaves from running off to meet up for a good fucking."

I was silent, barely managing to breath as what he had said sank in. I saw his smile widen at my fear, and he stepped closer.

"Is that it, do you think? Do you think they'll wonder if your master just can't give it to you good enough? Can't fuck you right?"

"What about your master?" I growled, but he just shrugged.

"Master Vincent will be pissed, that's for sure, but his reputation is too solid to be tanked by something like this. What about your master's though? Could it survive this kind of scandal so soon?"

I couldn't say anything. There was nothing to say, really, because we both knew that a scandal like this could ruin my Master. But, more than that, my lungs had frozen with fear.

Key shifted closer until his shoulder brushed mine and he stood on his toes to whisper into my ear.

"I know where they keep the security tapes. I could make this all go away."

"What do you want?" I asked, but it came out as a whisper.

"Just what you offered," he said, his mouth twisting up in that damn grin again. "To fuck you."

"No."

"Alright, then, have a nice night," he said dismissively, turning away.

"Wait!" I called and he stopped.

"Isn't… Isn't there anything else I can do?" I asked desperately.

"A second-rate blow-job for something like this? I don't think so. It's fucking or nothing, baby. What do you say?"

"I want the tape first," I stipulated breathlessly, only half believing he could actually get it.

"Sure thing, babe," he told me, the smile unwavering. "You wait here, and I'll just run and get it."

And then he was gone, and I was sinking to my knees against the marble column. I let my head fall back and rested my cheek against the cold stone, trying very hard to calm my breathing. What… What in the hell was I going to do?

Key was back almost too soon, carefully setting the tape in a potted planter beside the door.

"Alright, I've held up my end of the bargain, now it's time for you to hold up yours."

I glanced behind him at the doorway, and thought for a moment about dashing past him, grabbing the tape, and running for Master's room, but he stepped in between me and the door.

"Ah ah," he protested, sneering. "Don't even think about it. If I scream, everybody will come rushing out here, and then how will you explain everything?"

"Fuck you!" I snarled, moving away from him as far as the stone railing behind me would allow."
"No, fuck you," he corrected, and seemed to take some kind of pleasure from humiliating me. I bit my lip, desperately hoping someone would come.

But no one did. Key stepped forward, completely un-intimidated by me despite the four inches of height I had on him, and with a quick movement undid the bindings on my wrap and let it fall to the ground. I choked down a yell that I knew would have had masters and slaves alike coming to see what was the matter. As Key stepped forward and palmed my groin, I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't even look at him as he leaned forward and kissed my neck in a way that was supposed to be enticing but simply made my skin crawl.

God, was I really going to let him do this? Was I really going to let his hands, his grabby, slimy hands touch me? Was I really going to let him fuck me?

But I couldn't let him do that to Master. I could let my screw up reflect on the others. I couldn't let Master be disappointed with me, not so soon again. And if… if this was the sacrifice I had to make… so be it.

-Removed for content-

And then he was gone.

I cleaned his slime off my chest as best I could with the inside of my wrap, then fastened the fabric around my waist again. I picked up the tape and quickly broke it open, pulling out the plastic film and stretching it until now one could possibly hope to read it. Then I tossed the tape onto the beach and headed back to the room.

"Did you find your armband?" Quatre asked as I entered our suite. I nodded once and held it where he could see, not pausing in my stride.

"Do you want lunch?" he asked, and I had to push down the bile that rose in my throat at the thought of food. I shook my head.

"Shower."

"Oh. Um… okay," he said, seeming confused and a bit worried. I tried to smile to reassure him, but I'm not sure I managed it.

It was a relief to enter the bathroom, not just because it meant I could take off my wet wrap. I was never good at lying to Quatre, and I couldn't help but worry he would find out what I had done. Strangely, though, the idea of him knowing didn't terrify me as it should. Actually… it didn't make me feel much of anything.

In the shower, I cranked up the heat until my skin began to turn red and the room filled with steam.

But the cold wouldn't fade.