Hello my Beauties,
Here's another installment for you.
Really hope you enjoy
xxx
Warning. This chapter contains language that some readers may find offensive, please read with discretion. Thank you.
I don't want to run away but I,
Cant take it, I don't understand.
If I'm not made for you then why does
My heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?
I step into the limousine sitting down in the seat and shuffling over for Edward to slide in. This has got to be the most extravagant date I've ever been on, and it isn't even over. Edward gets in sitting down beside me and closing the door. I smile broadly over at him.
"Are you having a good time?" he asks taking my hand in his.
"It's alright, I've had better" I say playfully.
"I see I have my work cut out with you, Dr Swan" he says with a succulent crooked grin.
The limousine begins to pull away, leaving the stunning private jet behind. The driver speeds off the tarmac and joins the New York traffic. Edward releases my hand and sits forward, opening a cabinet under the long mini bar alongside the limousine. He takes out a glass bottle of what appears to look like some sort of light colored liqueur, another bottle with some red wine and two small glasses.
I watch with avid fascination as he expertly pours and mixes the drinks, adding some crushed ice and some Morello cherries from a jar. He passes one of the glasses over to me and I take it from him carefully.
"What's this?" I ask tentatively sniffing the drink, the aroma of lemons and wine hitting my senses and making my mouth water a little.
"Bacio del Limone" he answers in an impressive accent "Saluti". He raises his glass and lightly taps it against mine with a small 'clink'. I take a sip and marvel at the delicious flavors of this concoction.
"This tastes amazing" I say in astonishment, taking another sip "Where did you learn to make it?"
"It's a popular Italian cocktail that my family enjoys drinking, I've learnt how to make it by just watching how they do it." He leans back stretching one arm behind me and resting it on the back of the seat "Some people like to use currents and raspberries but I always have mine with just cherries"
"So were you born in Italy?" I ask, remembering the morning after we first met and him talking on the phone in what I thought to be fluent Italian.
"No, but my family are from there. Sicily, the place that grows the world best lemons"
"What are your family like?" I ask curiously "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" He looks over at me giving me that look again. With eyes narrowed he searches my face as if contemplating whether to tell me the truth or not. He looks down at his drink and takes a big gulp of it licking his top lip slowly.
"My family are very close and very private." He reveals "They're rather… traditional, as far as most Italian families go. Sunday Mass, respect, loyalty and above all else trust." I listen closely, intrigued to know more about him.
"I have an older brother and a cousin who's like another older brother. His parents died when he was just a baby so my folks took him in and raised him like one of their own" I smile at this, as that is such a nice thing to do. "No sisters" he continues "although my cousins' wife is sort of like one to me. They've been together since they were teenagers. She was the one who recommended taking you here"
I raise my eyebrows at this in surprise. It's kind of sweet, the thought of him asking his sister in-law advice about where to take me on a date. I make a mental note that if I ever meet the woman to definitely give her a high five.
We wade along through the steady night time traffic of New York. I glance out the window of the limousine to see in the distance the faint lights of Time Square. The excitement builds up within me, as the limo moves closer.
"What about you? What is your family like?" he asks, I turn to look at him, thinking how best to describe my quirky little family back in the UK.
"The women in my family are quite close" I say, thinking of my Nana, Mum and I with our previously shared hearing gift. "My Mum and Nana are amazing women, very strong and wise and maybe a little too critical at times." I tell him with a smile, thinking of how they always have something to say about me living so far away and my career choices.
"But I wouldn't have them any other way. I have a younger brother, who's actually the same age as you" I say just realizing that they're both the 25, shit I really am a cougar. I laugh a little shaking my head in amazement suddenly feeling very old. I ignore this feeling, pushing it to the back of my mind and continue "He will be opening his own Auto shop soon, running his own little business back home" my chest swelling a little with pride at my little brothers achievement.
"What about you father?" Edward asks curiously.
I take a big swig of my drink, delaying wanting to talk about my father. I breathe deeply through my nose and look over at Edward.
"He died. Almost ten years ago now. He had a brain aneurysm that ruptured in his sleep. It was very sudden. The good thing is that he probably went not feeling any pain." The memory of the morning my mum rang me up in hysterics to tell me that dad had died suddenly plays on my mind. "He was such a kind and patient man who was incredibly compassionate." I tell him remembering how kind and non-judgmental his thoughts used to be. Even through all the struggles I went through as a child dealing with hearing the thoughts of those around me, he still remained supportive and proud of me. I down the rest of my drink trying to numb the faint ache in my heart from the memory of him, my best friend.
"I'm very sorry for you loss Bella" Edward consoles gently squeezing me. I smile weakly over at him.
"Thank you Edward" I say quietly. It happened a long time ago yet only in the last few years have I been able to talk about him like this without bursting into tears. I take a deep breath resolved not to let myself be consumed with sadness at the mere mention of my father.
The limousine finally pulls over and stops after a while and I look out the window at the bright lights and billboards of Broadway. The driver gets out walking round and opening the door for us. Edward gets out first and helps me out the limousine. I step out completely mesmerized, never in my life have I been to such a place where you can practically feel the vibrant energy crackle in the atmosphere.
Edward takes my hand as we walk up to New York's famous Majestic theater, the huge billboard above showing a picture of a white theater mask and the words "Phantom of the Opera" in bright lights. I can feel my body tingle with excitement and joy, as I have to refrain from sprinting over to the doors eager to get inside. We walk up to the double doors and Edward opens them and we enter the busy lobby, filled with excited spectators. We walk though and I hold onto Edwards hand tightly as we weave our way through the crowds of people and make our way to a set of stairs.
Carefully climbing the stairs in my heels I hold on to Edwards arm for support and we arrive at another lobby, this one being much smaller and less busier than the one we just walked through. I release Edward's arm as he produces a pair of tickets from the inside of his jacket, walking over to a man standing at a heavy thick red velvet door wearing a red waist jacket with a white shirt and black tie and white cotton gloves.
The man scans the tickets with a small hand held device and smiles at us handing them back to Edward and opening the double door for us. We walk onto a balcony with two grand looking chairs facing the large red curtained stage below. The gigantic theater looks as though it could easily seat a few hundred people. The red seats con caving around the front of the stage as the eager spectators begin to fill them. We take our seats and I remove my coat sitting forward and looking over the balcony at the magnificent gold and burgundy theater that surrounds us.
"Have you ever seen Phantom of the Opera before?" Edward asks.
"I can't say I have. What about you?"
"No I haven't. It's meant to be a real classic."
"Yea it is. Looks it'll be a first for both of us then". I say excitedly
The door to the balcony opens up and a man carrying an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne and two champagne glasses comes in. He puts it down on a little table beside Edward.
"There you go Mr Cullen, compliments of the house" the man says and turns leaving. I look over at Edward astounded that his just received a bottle of free champagne, like some sort of royal prince. Edward winks at me knowingly and picks up the bottle, popping the cork and filling up the glasses handing one over to me.
"Are you some kind of celebrity or something?" I ask taking the glass from him
"Me?" he asks in mock surprise "Nope, I'm just a humble business man taking a beautiful woman out to the theater" he says simply. Oh he is such a smooth talker, humble my ass. But nevertheless I still feel myself getting flushed as he looks at me with those penetrating emerald eyes.
"I want to ensure you have a good time tonight, Dr Swan. After all, you work so hard keeping everyone else alive. I think you owe it to yourself to let me spoil you a little" he adds with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He picks up his glass and I raise mine in toast.
"To a good night" I say agreeing with him
"To a good night" he repeats and we clink our glasses together.
We chat for a little then suddenly the lights start to dim slowly and the hum from the audience quietens, the anticipation of the show starting rises. The theater is covered in darkness with the only lights shining on the stage. The curtain lifts up and the show begins.
X
Three hours later, we walk out the double doors from the balcony. That show, this night, everything has just been absolutely mind blowing. I take hold of Edward's hand smiling up at him and he smiles back at me with his crooked smile, which is quickly turning into my favorite thing. We make our way back through the lobby and down the stairs to the ground floor lobby which is steadily filling up with people also leaving the theater. We head out of the double doors and out into the freezing cold New York night, I unwillingly let go of his hand placing mine in my pockets to keep them warm. It must be at least 11:30 pm by now as we head over to the edge of the pavement and wait for the limo.
"Did you enjoy the show?" he ask smiling with his hands in his pockets
"Yes, it was terrific. Thank you Edward" I say turning to face him. "This entire night has been phenomenal, you really have out done yourself." He steps closer towards me, leaning his face closer to mine. His gorgeous emerald eyes shining down on me with such intensity it actually takes my breath away.
All of a sudden I feel myself being knocked into Edward quite hard as someone barges into my shoulder from behind.
"Watch it" I hear a man's voice say angrily from the side of me. I look up at him my mind assaulted with his thoughts
"stupid nigger-bitch…getting in my fucking way…I should slit her fucking throat"
"You watch it, asshole" Edward says, angrily pushing the man, making him stumbles backwards a little.
"…who does this guy thinks he is…nigger-lover…he should burn in hell along with her…fucking disgusting… got no shame…fucking traitor…makes me sick"
I gasp loudly the level of hatred in this man's thoughts hitting into me like a speeding freight train, making me lose focus of my shield completely. The thoughts of everyone within a 3 mile radius surge into my mind
"billstopayhowamIgoingtoaffordwherethehellnaoenrfoewnoweadkdjkskajnafdhlakahrwtayhsismelissaneedtogotoworkImgonnabelateneedtoloosesomeweightwillstartinthenewyearnjnkdasdjnncalalnjdlsrnclkmjnksdoiusdadnasufblsadkkmjnvjweoioicjnawhsnndgaoakendhkslmehdhsnndjohtnsdismsndjfnshngkskoxcnjsjsnakkdjhrnsksijdnshdfnskaopdmsjdnbfuskmansjdjnnsjksnncbfhmstupiddsdontcantbeliveuntilhappyforgetdoorchangemoneyfuckkoewnonraeonowngeonoiwqrytewouroiewiuefbwquyqwbifeuqdatetimebiioiefijaiupkniewuounrfecjsmnfhyoucsnhgbbenkiipeedrtteabreaknightshiftpostergrandfuryjiufewnjpounarinbecausekkosjfnrjiskfnrjtnyjslsooodmfngrknwlknljnreonerkfnorjnvotrgonkqeonqoerntjnwlknwjijnoefnpkwpmilklsodmdnrksjkhhyhrmskkfmhmlkjjsjjdbnhjhjyyemmksjnyhsthhdbhsjdmskidjfnrhrnsmmkxmkdnfhrnsjimisjnmslolldmmfhgmncbhjtopoksjshhcnjdklslihskjbbfpiubpiwuebfpiubfwieubuebwpwifybpwiebufnononipinweinfinpinwinpninonpwinpuhiuhikpoewpnfinepwinweinqeinpqencpienpncpipqinwpdiqwneuohrguonoikenporangwjjskabsolutedisasterfaboulousicecreamtwohotdogswontmatterjnjdnjjdnjforgetfulhungheuudjbeyeverywherehjsijdbjsjdbdhejidjnghjobgonnalosemyjobjjdjkoilbabyjdmlmdkjoenwaoeubojcuebnnhajkdmiienfinkoknoionandcocjnweoionanhhdjikjouknoksnndjnnknkknkmkfjngingronlknsstupidkdmoenbklojhdgyehngirlfriendbhsjnhjsjmkdloveofmyjokesinfrontofeveryoneknjpowerwithingjnperunpjnvrenijnijnfnoeioijidoporjoijfijoinvoieoijkkmiennfpoijnkod"
I crouch down to the floor covering my ears with my hands and squeezing my eyes shut, in a desperate attempt to stop the painful cacophony of voices and images currently bombarding my mind. The force of it pressing against the inside of my skull and the back of my eyes with a pressure that feels like a hundred elephants are trying to stampede out of my head. I grit down on my teeth hard, trying to assemble my mental shield, but there's too much noise and chaos in my head right now to imagine or focus on anything other than the torturous agony currently taking over my entire senses. My stomach begins to roll as I swallow down the urge to empty it, the dizzying images of a thousand minds flashing through my head at warp speed. I can feel myself on the verge of blacking out.
When all at once it ceases, as I feel warm hands on either side of my face eliminating it all like a wave washing everything clear.
"Bella" I hear his silky voice calling my name like a beautiful bird song filling the emptiness.
I open my eyes slowly to see Edward's beautiful worried face crouched down in front of me; his bare hands on either side of my face. I cover my hands over Edwards staring at him through misty eyes.
"Are you ok?" he asks me anxiously.
I want to tell him I'm alright. That everything is fine. But I know it's not true. It never has been. This bubble that I've been in with him tonight has finally popped and I have been woken up by a harsh reality drenching me with its wickedness and making my blood run cold. My lips refuse to allow me to part them and use my voice to tell him. Because everything is not fine and I'm not alright.
"Bella, your nose…" Edward mutters he gaze dropping down my face slightly. I feel the warm liquid tickling the top of my lip. It's been a while since I've been so overwhelmed that bad that I get nose bleed. I snap myself out of the blissful state his put my in and realize where I am, crouched on the floor in the middle of New York. I mentally reassemble my shield imagining it encasing my brain. I drop my hands from his, moving my face out of his grasp and standing up. I dive into my clutch bag, my hands shaking uncontrollably hoping to find some tissue or something to stop the flow of blood trickling from my nose and onto my chin. I move the objects about in my bag furiously searching for tissue which I know isn't there.
Edward's hand shoots in front of my eye line, holding a black handkerchief. I take it from him muttering an indistinct "Thank you" trying not to get any blood in my mouth. I wipe my nose and chin clear tasting the metallic saltiness inside my mouth anyway, probably from my gums bleeding with how hard I clenched my teeth from the pain.
I look down at the ground feeling such hurt, sorrow and humiliation at the sudden turn of events. The intense animosity I felt and heard from that stupid rednecks thoughts make me question everything. All my life I have been able to hear people's thoughts the good the bad and the ugly. But never have I heard such hurtful nasty thoughts like his, directly aimed at me.
Like the simple color of my skin could create such violence and aggression within someone. I can't help but feel somewhat insufficient. As though for the first time in my life I'm just not good enough. Never once have I thought about mine and Edward different races being anything significant, until now. I don't want Edward to be viewed in a negative way as a 'nigger-lover', just because of me, he doesn't deserve that. Have I just been kidding myself to think that the world could ever accept us being together? That somehow it wouldn't matter.
"Bella?" Edward calls my name like it was made just for him, for his voice only. I steel myself and glance up at him to see his beautiful eyes plagued with concern and fret. I look around to see that the man who knocked into me has gone.
"I'm sorry about that Edward, I had… a migraine. I get them from time to time without much warning"
"Do you want to go inside and sit down" I carefully use my hearing gift, letting my shield down marginally to track down our limo drivers' thoughts and can see in his mind him approaching.
"No need, our limo is here now" I say turning my back to him to face the limo, now turning round the corner and heading straight towards us.
The limo stops in front of us and Edward opens the door, I try to smile at him but it comes out strained and forced. I get in, shuffling over for Edward to sit down. I just want to go home now. This night ruined.
X
Edward pulls up his car outside of my apartment building, turning off the ignition. The onslaught of thoughts racking my brain from earlier this evening has tired me out mentally and physically. The fact that I have been so stupid to believe that Edward and I could ever be seen as a normal couple has been playing on my mind the entire trip back. I realize now that I have been foolish and Edward deserves a woman of his own race, not me. People would just look and laugh at us thinking what on earth is he doing with her. They would think of us as being nothing but traitors to our races. I remove my seat belt my mind made up. I can't do this with him. I can't be the woman he needs.
"Bella, are you sure you're OK? You've been really quiet" he asks.
I remember on the jet back over here he asked me to dance with him. He said something about wanting to dance through the clouds with me. Putting on some smooth jazz music and holding out his hand for me to take, I looked into his eyes, my weakness. How can I deny him? I didn't feel up to it but I did it, for him, for me as that one last memory to hold onto. Surely up here in the sky, 15,000 feet above the world, I can grant myself this one last thing with him. I took his hand, standing up and letting him hold me close, determined to savor every touch, every smell as we sway to the melodic notes of the saxophone, just being.
"I'm just tired. Air travel tends to take it out of me for some reason" I tell him looking straight ahead. I hear him breathe deeply through his nose as if he senses that something isn't quite right me. I look over at him and smile. "I've had an amazing night tonight Edward, thank you"
"Your welcome, it was my pleasure Bella" he says quietly in the darkness of the car. I begin opening the door and start stepping out just wanting to get to bed and go to sleep. Edward gently grasps my mid arm, causing me to look back at him.
"Goodnight Bella, I'll call you tomorrow" I look into his beautiful face as he reaches over placing a soft kiss on my cheek. I feel the back of my eyes sting a little from the look he has in his captivating emerald eyes. I swallow down the lump in my throat.
"Goodbye Edward" I whisper quickly turning away and getting out the car. I shut the door behind me and get my keys out my bag as I walk to the front door of the apartment and quickly let myself in. My heels ringing out in the empty lobby as I hastily make my way to the elevators pressing the button. I hear the powerful roar of Edward's car start up as he speeds out the car lot.
The elevator doors open and I step in pressing the number '3' button. The doors close and I take off my heels throwing each one of them at the corner angrily. I slide down to the floor bringing my knees up to my chest and let the tears I've been holding in since New York fall down my cheeks. A quiet sob rakes through as the elevator stops and the doors open up. I sit on the floor for a while longer allowing myself a few moments to just cry silently as I come to terms with everything.
After a while I wipe away the tears and stand up picking up my shoes and slowly walking out and round to my apartment. I open the door glad to see Alice has already gone to bed; I don't really feel like talking to anyone right now. I glance up at the clock on the wall shutting and locking the door behind me to see that it is almost 2:00am. I traipse to my bedroom dumping my heels on the floor and taking off my coat and dress. I crawl into bed taking out my phone to set my alarm for work tomorrow and putting it on charge. I sniff loudly closing my eyes, and falling into a restless sleep.
My fragmented dreams consisting of Edwards face looking at me in pure disgust and anger his emerald eyes now burning crimson red as he spits fire from his mouth at me. I wake up few times during the night my body drenched in cold perspiration.
FX
I sit in the office at work, looking at the computer screen attempting to sift through the daily emails that I have been sent. It's been three days since my date with Edward and he has called and texted me a dozen times since then, all of which I have ignored.
I can't seem to bring myself to talk to him. What on earth would I say? Sorry Edward I can't see you anymore because I'm black and you're white and we don't look right together, have a good life. Yea I can really see that going down well. I rub my tired eyes and lean back in my chair. Ever since that night, I've not been able to get a decent night's sleep causing me to have bouts of insomnia.
The little sleep I do get my dreams are plagued with night terrors consisting of me being tied up and burnt alive. I'm seriously thinking about prescribing myself something to make me fall asleep but I fear what the side effects might do to me. Last thing I need is to lose control of my shield again or something. That would be completely devastating. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket of my lab coat. I expect it to be another text from Edward but when I take it out it's actually from Angela. I open it up surprised and read what it says.
Hey Bella, hope everything's OK? Just wondering if you're still going to be able to make it tonight for my thanksgiving party? Let me know xx
Shit! Is it thanksgiving already? I completely forgot about the party. I really don't feel like celebrating tonight, I just want to be alone. I quickly send her a text making up an excuse about a surgery that I've been assigned to do and that it will run quite late into the night. I give her my apologies and send it. I log out of the computer, switching it off and heading out of the office. I need a case, something to take my mind off everything and put it towards something productive, something I'm good at.
I head to the emergency room which seems to be quite busy today, full of amateur cooks who overestimated their skills in the kitchen or families whose day resulted in some kind of feud which required a trip to the E.R. Gotta love the holidays.
X
It's around 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I find myself leaving the elevator looking down at some blood results as I make my way to one of the wards. The bloods show that the patient may have Type 2 diabetes which would explain all her symptoms she's been having. I rub the back of my neck as I feel a sudden prickly sensation.
I look up from my notes, my eyes falling on the distant figure of Edward standing and talking to Chief Willis. I stop dead in my tracks as he turns also spotting me. I subtly look around trying to find some place to hide but it's too late he's already making his way towards me. Shit. What the hell is he doing here? It's thanksgiving for crying out loud shouldn't he be at home with his family or something?
My heart begins thudding heavily in my chest as his strolls towards me his hand in the pocket of his black suit trousers. His wearing a light grey button down shirt tucked in and rolled up at the elbows. Damn he looks so incredibly sexy, his blondy bronze hair styled and combed fashionable. I try to smile at him as he stands in front of me, a curious expression on his face.
"Fancy seeing you here, Dr Swan" he says smoothly, his voice making the bottom of my stomach clench.
"Well I do work here, you know" I say closing my notes and tucking them under my arm. He laughs quietly rubbing his chin slightly with his hand. His face has completely cleared, any trace of bruising gone. I see a faint small scar above his eyebrow, but if I hadn't been the one who sutured it, I wouldn't have even noticed it was there. God damn he is one attractive son of bitch.
"I suppose you do. I've just finished running through some paperwork with Chief Willis. I'm now an official member of the board of directors here"
"Congratulations, I guess this kinda makes you my boss now huh?"
"I guess it kinda does" he winks, smiling his crooked grin at me. My breath hitches and I feel myself getting flushed, I have to get out of here.
"I should probably get going" I try to walk past him to leave but Edwards stops me, by side stepping in front of me. I look at him pointedly as if to say 'move'.
"I've been trying to call you…" he says leaving the rest of the sentence hanging between us
"Yea I know sorry, I've been super busy here. Haven't really had much time to return them"
"Oh" he says putting both of his hands in his pockets his eyes looking slightly hurt but he quickly veils it. "Well, when are you free? I'd love for us to spend some more time together" I rub the back of my neck trying to think of the best way to tell him this.
"Listen Edward, I had a really good time the other night. But I don't think we should see each other outside of the hospital anymore"
"Is this because of the board thing because it's really…."
"No" I interrupt "It's nothing to do with that. I just don't think...we're right for each other" I say gently
"What do you mean?" he asks his eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion
"I mean. You deserve someone who is... more your type" he looks thoroughly confused now so I try to explain a little further. "Edward I'm a very busy woman who has a lot on her plate. I just think that you deserve someone who has more time. Someone you can show off to your friends and family. You know someone young and perky, with blue eyes and blonde" I put a bit more emphasis on the last part hoping he'd get what I'm trying to say. I see recognition dawn in his eyes as he shakes his head in disbelief.
"Really Bella? You can't actually be serious" I nod my head at him sadly as he finally understands. "Bella come on. If I wanted that don't you think I would have it. Look at me..." he bends down slightly so his looking me straight in the eye taking his hands out his pockets and resting them on my shoulders. "Merda, Angelo. Sei la ragazza piu' bella che abbia mai visto. Where is all this coming from?" he looks at me for a second longer, I can almost hear his silent mind spinning.
"Is this about that man in New York? The one who knocked into you" I can see the rage building up in his eyes, his pupils dilating slowly "Do you know him? Did he say something to you about me?" I shake my head quickly, surprised by his close perception. I swallow down the lump that is building in my throat as I look into his angry face, feeling a little scared.
"No Edward. It has nothing to do with him. I have no idea what you're talking about. I just don't want to take this any further" I lie, pleading with him, my heart heavy in my chest "I need to concentrate on my career and I just don't have time to be getting involved with anyone right now." I look up into his now blank, cold expression as he releases my shoulder and leans back up straight, regaining his full height. I instantly miss his touch.
Stepping closer to him, I reach up on my toes placing a small kiss on his check
"I'm sorry Edward, really I am" I whisper in his ear the sorrow spreading through my heart like a dark cloud blocking the sun. I quickly walk past him my eyes filling up as I race to the women's bathroom further down the hall. I burst in through the doors glad to see that it's empty. I walk over to the sinks and stare at myself in the mirror above breathing in slowing, determined not to let myself cry, no more tears.
A few minutes later I pick up my notes, convinced that I did the right thing. But surely if that was true why do I feel so terrible?
Angsty much? This chapter was quite difficult to write as the subject matter is really sensitive, I really hope I haven't offended anyone. I don't think I could write this story without incorporating the issue of race. Please review and let me know what you think
Italian phrases used:
Bacio del limone = Lemon kiss (An actual Italian cocktail which I have tried, bloody beautiful)
Saluti=Cheers
Merda, Angelo= Shit, Angel
Sei la ragazza piu' bella che abbia mai visto.=You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.