*Hope you enjoy this one…Thanks again for reading.

Eventually

Chapter 12

Leaning back against the pillows on her bed, Jane felt just like she was back in high school again as she balanced her cell phone on her shoulder and ran her fingers through her hair to pull it back into a pony-tail. Her tattered sweat pants were at least ten years old and the t-shirt she was wearing was definitely something she had kept since her teenaged years. And of course there was that nervous flutter that started in the pit of her stomach and radiated throughout her body, making her just the slightest bit shaky. But it was all something she welcomed because it meant she was talking to Maura and Maura was the only person who had ever had that effect on her. The soft, melodious voice on the other end hadn't changed much either but there was something cautionary that lingered just around the edges.

"Um…so we're still on for Saturday…right?" Jane's voice caught with nervous energy causing her to clear her throat. Adjusting herself so she didn't have to balance the phone anymore, she reached up to hold it to her ear as she settled further into her pillows. The pillowcases were cool and it helped her overheated skin as she pressed herself against their softness.

"Yes…I suppose so." Maura's voice was soft and somewhat sleepy as she snuggled deeper into her oversized couch surrounded by the oversized pillows. She felt safe surround by the enormity of that soft barricade she had built around herself. She had been tired when she finally got home from work but she knew she hadn't wanted to miss this phone call from Jane. The first thing she had done was change into more comfortable clothing which consisted of a pair of satin boxer shorts and a matching top that she had been too tired to button all the way up. "I'm glad to hear that Angela agreed to move in. Was it difficult to convince her?"

No…maybe…just a little…" Jane struggled to belay the image of how adorable Maura was when she was sleepy. Many nights Jane had just watched Maura sleep in her arms and a longing to experience that again swept over her. She could imagine the sleep tousled hair, the squinty eyes that didn't have the energy to open all the way, and the feline way that Maura had of stretching her back. Fanning her suddenly flushed face, she tried to swallow the knot that had formed in her very dry throat. "She has a lot of questions…but I tried to be as honest as I could about us…" The words came out on a slightly strangled cough.

"And…what did you tell her?" Maura closed her eyes and conjured up a picture of what she thought Jane looked like at the moment. Sweat pants and an old t-shirt came to her mind along with a small smile. She had heard the barely contained strain in Jane's voice and she knew that Jane was probably imagining what she was wearing as well.

"I told her that we were working on forgiveness…" Jane sighed heavily into the phone. "It was the best I could do…considering…" She hesitated.

"Well…I suppose that will work." Maura could hear the hesitation in Jane's voice. "What has you so worried?"

"I dunnknow…" Jane shrugged as she crossed her legs at the ankle and brought an arm around behind her pillow, propping herself up.

Maura could hear the shrug over the phone just as easily as she could envision Jane's nonchalant body language. "Let me guess…she thinks I'm the saint and you're the sinner?"

"I guess so…maybe. It's just hard for me to let her think that I callously hurt you…like I didn't care." Jane let out a huff of air as she placed her hand across her stomach. The nervous energy she was feeling had yet to dissipate so she began to drum her fingers along the soft cotton t-shirt she was wearing.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way Jane." Maura really was sorry that Jane had to take the brunt of the raised eyebrows in question but there was nothing she could do. No one could know the truth about her biological father which meant that Jane would never be able to tell Angela the whole story. Guilt started to creep in around Maura as she thought about her own secrets that she had yet to reveal to Jane but she did her best to stow those away until she could further analyze them.

"It's not your fault Maur…if I hadn't been such a fucking screw up…none of this would've happened."

The defeated tone in Jane's voice caused Maura to bristle and sit up straighter. "What happened was out of your control…you know that right?"

"No…it wasn't…but thanks for saying so." Jane continued to drum her fingers. She could feel the nervousness being replaced by a slow burning anger at herself and Paddy, but most of all at her father.

"Yes it was…" Maura sighed heavily. "Yes, you made mistakes…yes, you could have done things differently…but it was your father who set you down that path, he should have known better. You were just a kid Jane." A thought suddenly came to her mind, something she hadn't thought of until that moment. "I'm sure you felt all alone then…" She hesitated as she struggled to find the right words to express what she was feeling. "I…um…I don't want you to feel alone like that ever again. No matter what happens between us Jane…just know that you won't have to be alone again."

Jane could hear the stark truth in the words that Maura had struggled to say. She thought she could hear something unspoken, a hopefulness that Maura wasn't ready to admit out loud yet. "Thanks…" She smiled into the phone at the certainty of what she felt in her heart which was that it was going to be alright…that they were going to be alright.

"Yeah…well…" Maura nervously cleared her throat, afraid that she had given too much away and that Jane had heard the unspoken promise in her voice. "Being friends again is a good place to start…"

"Yes…being friends is a good place to start." Jane said but in her mind she was thinking there were much better places to start but that would come with time. Again her face flushed as thoughts of Maura and what they had recently shared came to her mind. She had been bold the other morning, crossing the invisible line that kept them at arm's length but she couldn't resist the urge to touch, to feel, to taste Maura's skin. She could sense that it wouldn't have taken much to push Maura over that edge that they both found themselves standing on but she also knew that the time wasn't right yet and to do so would jeopardize the fragile foundation they started to rebuild.

"I'm looking forward to getting to know you again." Maura settled back again against her couch as she let out a tired sigh.

"Look…um…do you have any questions for me…ya know about Paddy or anything?" Jane ventured to ask even though it was something she hadn't wanted to talk about. Her intentions were to get this over with so they could go forward and never have to revisit the subject again or at least not on their first date.

"I…ah…" Maura paused as a multitude of questions flowed through her mind ranging from one spectrum to the other but only one stood out catching her attention. "How did you know?"

"Well…" Jane took a deep breath as the memory of that day came back to her. It had been the day at the batting cages when Maura had taken her to task over who was better at hitting a baseball. The loss of that day still stung and it wasn't just the beating she had taken from Maura but that was the day she had lost faith in the role she thought she would play in Maura's life. The silent interchange between her and Paddy had said it all as she recalled looking into those hazel-green eyes and into the void of someone who no longer cared who got hurt along the way. "You have the same eyes…" When she heard the sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone she continued. "The same color I mean…"

"How could you know that Jane? Genetics goes deeper than just the same eye color…" Dr. Maura was back as she tried to reason away any similarity her and Paddy may share. She knew there had to be more to it than just eye color.

"Maur…I've spent hours…days…months…looking into your eyes memorizing every variation, every mood…every emotion you couldn't convey with words. When I saw him looking at you that day, there was an innocent longing to understand something just beyond his reach and I recognized it as something I'd seen in your eyes as well. Or maybe it was just a gut feeling." Jane let out a heavy sigh of regret at having to have this conversation.

"I don't understand what your intestines have to do with this…" Maura couldn't disguise her impatience at trying to understand what Jane was saying. She had never truly understood what people meant by 'gut feeling' and it had always annoyed her when someone used that particular term to explain something unexplainable.

"Come on…it's just an expression but my gut has been right a lot of the time…" Jane tried to reason. When her response was greeted by silence she started to get uncomfortable. "Hey…what's wrong?"

"Am I really like him?" Maura whispered, her voice soft and afraid.

"No…you are nothing like him Maura!" Jane bolted up right from her reclined position as if would somehow emphasize her statement. It killed her to have to hear that uncertainty tinged with fear in Maura's voice.

"But you said we had the same eyes and its said that the eyes are the windows to the soul." Maura said softly.

"The only thing that you share with that man is the same color…nothing more. Your eyes are beautifully expressive…filled with a curious innocence that causes those little flecks of green to shine. The only thing that shines in him is his anger Maura. The love you have for life glows deep within that hazel and it's filled with compassion and hope. I've never seen anything remotely similar in Paddy. The only thing I've seen is the cruel heart that keeps him at the head of Irish mob." Jane was almost breathless as she spoke.

"But DNA plays an important role in how a person is…who they become…" Maura babbled on causing Jane's heart to ache.

"Listen Maura…I don't know who he was before. Maybe he was a different person before he gave himself over to a life of crime but you are nothing like him. Please don't think you are anything less than wonderful, beautiful…compassionate…" Jane started to babble herself.

"Thank you…" Maura whispered into the phone. Her heart was lifted by Jane's words but there was still an undercurrent of unease she couldn't quite place.

"Anything else you want to ask me?" Jane gripped the cell phone tight in her hand hoping that there was nothing else.

"No…I don't want to talk about him anymore. I think we should just concentrate on the future." 'And our happily-ever-after…' Maura thought to herself.

"So…we still on for Saturday?" Jane settled back against her pillows, letting out a sigh.

"Yes…yes we are." Maura couldn't stop herself from smiling.

"I've really missed you…" Jane's words were barely a whisper as the impact of what she had lost all those years ago washed over her.

"I don't think you'll have to miss me anymore Jane…" Maura whispered back.

"Good…cause I donwanna..." Jane let out a long slow breath to mask the feelings that were beginning to overwhelm her.

"Yeah…I donwanna either." Maura mimicked Jane's incorrect usage of grammar with a small smile.

"'Kay…I'll see you Saturday then…" Jane could tell that Maura was smiling so she smiled back.

"Not if I see you first." Maura laughed.

"Night…" Jane said as she hung up but she just couldn't stop herself from whispering the word 'beautiful' just as her finger pushed the end button on her phone.

Maura held her phone tight against her ear thinking that if she stayed still and quiet she might hear it again but with a sad, resigned sigh she convinced herself that she had just imagined it. When she finally realized that Jane had hung up she did the same but not before whispering 'Goodnight, my sweet Jane' into the receiver.

"What the fuck Frankie…" Jane bend over and grabbed her stomach where his elbow had made contact.

With the basketball balanced against his hip he looked down at her with a frown as he pushed his unruly dark hair away from his eyes. He was pissed and in no way taking it easy on her as they played some one on one basketball for the last time in the driveway of their childhood home. As Jane gasped in an effort to catch her breath, he felt no sympathy for what he had done. In fact, he had every intention of doing it again if she gave him the chance.

"What happened to the 'friendly' game of basketball you invited me to play…?" She looked up at him before she pushed herself up using her shaky legs as leverage. When she was finally standing upright, the scowl that appeared on her face indicated that she wasn't about to let him do it again.

"I guess I'm not feeling very 'friendly'." He pushed past her as he lined up his shot.

"Care to clue me on what your problem is?" She used her shoulder to slow down his forward momentum causing him to stagger slightly.

"You're the detective…figure it out smart ass." He planted his feet, turned towards her, and threw the ball as hard he could at her middle.

She pushed the ball away with little effort, her reflexes sharper than ever at the moment. The ball bounced back in Frankie's direction landing at his feet as it rolled back and forth before stopping. "No, really Frankie…give me an idea about what has you so pissed off."

"He just left and you didn't even try to stop him Jane…why didn't you try to stop him!" His voice was filled with the anger he was directing at her but Jane could hear the brittle edge of sadness ringing clear.

"Look…I'm sorry…" She started to say but stopped when he stepped closer to her, his posture was erect in an attempt to intimidate. "I suggest you back the fuck off…" She stood her ground. "Right the fuck now…" Her eyes darkened with her own barely contained rage.

"Fuck you…" He pushed her knowing that the end result would be her wrath but he didn't care anymore. He was mad at her for disappearing for the last four days without so much as a word, leaving him to deal with their father's abandonment alone. He knew that the anger he was directing at Jane was just spill over from the anger that Frank Sr. wasn't around to take. "You disappeared…just like he did…"

The flash of fury subsided as Jane watched her brother go from trying to be the big man to turning into the vulnerable kid he used to be. "I didn't just disappear Frankie…" Her voice was soft and filled with understanding. "I just had to take care of some things…"

"Yeah, whatever…I've heard it before…things that you can't talk about. Really fucking convenient for you Jane but where the hell were you when Ma cried herself to sleep every night…out taking care of things? Well, I was here!" His anger was boiling over as he pushed her again. He knew he was prodding a sleeping bear but he didn't care.

"I'm sorry Frankie…" She looked down feeling sadness overwhelm her as she realized what he was saying. While she was out playing the hero, he was home taking care of the collateral damage inflicted by their loser father.

"Well, sorry isn't good enough!" He growled as he kicked the basketball. He hadn't expected it to bounce off of the pole and head straight for Jane.

Jane hadn't seen it coming. One minute she was standing; the next minute she was flat on her back watching stars float lazily above her with the sound of Frankie's voice floating to her from somewhere off in the distance. In an instant all of the feelings she had carefully stowed away came flooding to the surface.

"Jane…hey Jane…you alright?" Frankie bend over his sister as she lay sprawled out on her back.

Slowly and with much effort, Jane blinked her eyes open. The first thing she noticed was the way the sun was streaming through the leaves in the branch that hung over the driveway. The dead leaves that continued to cling to what had once been their lifeline swayed back and forth as a gentle breeze blew past them. She could hear the rustle of those dried leaves that had given up and let go swirl around as they moved across the driveway towards the grass. A flash of memories scattered through her mind ranging from the Halloween that Angela hadn't let them go trick-or-treating because some guy kidnapped a kid a few blocks away to those times she hung off of the roof to put Christmas lights up with their Pop. As she continued to stare up at that branch, tears began to pool in her eyes before leaking out and rolling down her cheeks. It was the memory of their brother Tommy falling off of that same branch and breaking his arm that opened the flood gates.

"Jesus Jane…I'm sorry…are you okay?" Frankie's voice was elevated to a panic as he dropped down to his knees next to Jane. Tears were not something that he was used to seeing from Jane and he couldn't help but think that maybe he had really hurt her. His face reddened with shame as he looked down at her.

"Tommy fell off of that tree branch and broke his arm trying to hide from us…do you remember?" She struggled to get her emotions under control.

"Yeah…and remember how we took turns carrying him two blocks to Mrs. Anderson's house where Ma was playing bridge?" He dropped down beside her with a heavy sigh. "And I also remember having my first kiss out on the porch swing…our annual New Year's eve party and the family dinners every Sunday…" His voice trailed off as he glanced over his shoulder at the house that held so many memories from their childhood which now stood empty with a 'For Sale' sign posted out in front. "This is really hard Jane…I just thought it was a house…but…when will it stop hurting so much?"

"Eventually Frankie…" Jane pushed herself up into a sitting position. Reaching up she touched the tender spot on her cheek where the ball had hit her. "I thought it would be easier too. Just imagine what Ma is feeling though."

"You don't haveta tell me Jane…I've been around the last few days." He shrugged his shoulders at the small dig that slipped out. "Sorry…" He gave her a sheepish grin before he noticed the red spot on her face. "Wow…that's gonna leave a bruise."

"Probably…and I have a date with Maura tonight, seems fitting." She leaned back to let the sun warm her face as it slipped past the trees and branches that hung over them. The sting in her cheek only hurt more when she squinted so she brought her hand up to shade her eyes.

"What?" He sat up straighter and turned his full attention to her.

"What, what?" She gave him a casual glance knowing exactly what he wanted to know but not quite ready to relent. Even though he had been her biggest advocate after she broke up with Maura, she couldn't help but make him wait for her answer.

"This is news Jane…this is big news. How did it happen?" He rested his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through is hair again.

"Well…we talked and decided to start fresh…and before you do…don't ask." She squared her shoulders and tilted her head so she could look at him. He had a look of concentration on his face as he tried to suppress the urge to ask the many questions that she knew were bouncing around in his mind. Because he knew her better than anyone she expected him to concede without a fight and that is just what he did.

"Wow…I'm happy for you. You two were always so good together." He grinned at her.

"Don't get ahead of the game big fella…we're gonna start with our friendship first." Jane couldn't help but shrug noncommittally as she reached out to give his shoulder a gentle push.

"Yeah, but you want more…?" He ventured to ask even though he already knew the answer.

"Of course I want more." She said a little too quickly. "I mean…yeah…I'd like more, eventually." She closed her eyes and allowed the warmth of the sun to seep into her skin. The stinging in her cheek had slowly subsided only to be replaced by a numbness that indicated she would indeed sport a bruise by the end of the day. "In fact, I'm planning on marrying her someday." She opened one eye to peer over at him to see his reaction.

"I know..." He smiled at her. "What I don't know is why you left her in the first place…but…" He held up his hands to stop her from interrupting. "I know you not gonna tell me."

"You're right…I'm not gonna tell you." She glared at him through her one open eye but then her expression softened. It was difficult enough to have to keep this secret from their mother but now add pretty much everyone else in her life and she could already see the cracks starting to form.

Silence surrounded them as they both sat there contemplating what was to come before they were interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. They both looked over to see that the realtor was getting out of her car.

"Hey Shelia…Thanks for letting us have this…" Jane stood up and smiled at the middle aged woman.

"Yeah…no problem…I'm just sorry it had to come to this." Shelia moved around to stand in front of her car. "How's your mom handling things?"

"She's good…she's found a new place to live…a real nice place." Jane reached out to take the hand that was held out for her to shake. "Thanks for asking."

"I'm really glad to hear that." Shelia let out a heavy sigh as she reached over to shake Frankie's hand. "I'll leave you to it then…" She said as she moved past them towards the house leaving them in an awkward silence.

"Thanks again…" Jane called over her shoulder.

"Any time Jane." Shelia called back.

"This is really happening isn't it?" Frankie picked up the basketball and glanced over at Jane.

"It is…" Jane reached down to pick up her water bottle just as her cell phone started to ring. She looked at the caller ID and recognized Carly's number. "Hey…I gotta take this Frankie…give me a minute will ya?" When he gave her a quick nod, she answered the phone to the familiar sound of her cousin's voice. "Hey Carly…" She said as she moved to stand next to her car so she had something to lean against. After a quick response on the other end of the phone Jane decided to get right to the point. "I need to talk to you…yeah I know I'm talking to you right now…" She let out a frustrated huff before continuing. "But I think it would be better to do this is in person…yeah…no, my Ma's alright…no…look, I just need to talk to you…please." Jane couldn't contain the impatience she was fighting. "'Kay…I'll see you Tuesday…um yeah it's okay if Ryan wants to come…" She reached up and touched the spot under her eye that was now sore. "Yeah…see ya then. Bye…" With those final words, she hung up the phone and turned her attention back to Frankie. He had a puzzled expression on his face as he watched her causing her to roll her eyes. "Just got some stuff to deal with…and no it doesn't have anything to do with Pop…so don't ask."

"Whatever…" He shrugged his shoulders to give her the impression he didn't care even though he did.

"Look, I've gotta get ready for tonight…and do something about this." She gingerly touched her cheek. "Wanna get together for a beer tomorrow afternoon and watch the game at 'The Robber'?"

"Sure…we can talk about movin' Ma into Maura's place." Frankie shoved the ball into his duffle bag as he spoke.

"Sounds like a plan…and Frankie…" Jane said before climbing into her car.

"Yeah?" He looked up.

"We'll talk some more…ya know about things…if you want." Jane gave a heavy sigh.

"I'd like that Jane…" He smiled over at her as he watched her slip into the front seat of her car on the way to what they both hoped would be the start to many more dates with Dr. Maura Isles.