Chapter 6
Stages of Grief
Kyoko stared at the lifeless body of her friend in disbelief. What am I supposed to do?
She saved me. That thing was sucking us both in, and she pushed me out.
The thought brought no comfort to the red-head: quite the opposite. Although her mind was frozen in shocked panic and a hideous feeling had begun crawling up out of her stomach, a far more primal part of her brain forced her attention to the approaching threat, figures rising above the swamp along the far shore. She blinked once. Twice. Then, finally, focused on the dark, flapping shapes that were fast approaching from across the emerald lake.
She waited for them to disappear, along with the Witch's maze. She'd seen the Grief Seed drop into the lake. Nothing happened. Apathy drowned out whatever curiosity this should have inspired for its extreme oddity. She felt tired.
Something inside herself, a not-so-small portion of her mind that she tried to think of as the "old Kyoko," was violently cursing her for letting down her guard, even under these circumstances. She'd fought on after friends and comrades had fallen before, almost too many times to count. Above all else, she was a survivor. Her first priority was always staying alive.
Another, darker and even less subtle part of her demanded action-to bask in bloodshed, revel in carnage and take advantage of the opportunity to forget painful memories and instead become the one doling out the pain to others.
Two minutes. The things would get here soon. She waited, breathing heavily and stomping her feet in impatience, watching the approaching beasts and psyching herself up. They took on the appearance of a flock of black birds, each the size of a small car. Kyoko guesstimated there were two dozen... and finally could wait no longer. Grasping her long spear in both hands, she propelled herself toward yet another group of familiars-the third distinct variety she'd encountered since entering this realm of misfortune.
She didn't bother to think about extraneous information like that, however: she was focused on one thing: the thing she was best at.
She would sent things things back to Hell. She wouldn't allow them to molest her friend's body. The veteran had seen too many torn and mangled corpses inside Witch barriers during her experience, violated beyond death by the sadistic forces at play within the dark realms. These were not thoughts that occurred to her, though-her entire attention was consumed by the red haze descending over her world, entering a state that had once been so very familiar to her.
She was going to murder-kill them all to death.
Kyoko's eyes glowed crimson, her body radiating erratic tendrils of ruby energy. Her jump carried the warrior into the midst of the flock fifty meters above the lake, and the shut-down part of her mind passively noted hideous faceless heads like burlap sacks, bony human arms instead of feet, and ragged, flapping wings of midnight black feathers.
Tunnel-visioning as she zoomed in towards the enemies before her, subconscious combat awareness noticed no obvious weak spots, noted the curved claws.
The spear arced through the sky, its segmented length extended in a tremendous full circle strike. The glowing tip cut through several of the familiars, each one flashing as a it immediately and completely combusted, the blackened remnants quickly disappearing into oblivion. Drawing the spear back together, she continued to spiral the weapon around, catching another of the beasts as she flew toward it. Reversing her grip, she jabbed the weapon into the next creature, arresting her motion in midair before its charred remains seemed to fade from existence.
The bizarre, ebony-feathered familiars seemed to hesitate, then the majority dove toward her while a smaller group of four broke off, heading to the shore of the lake. Heading towards what remained of her friend, she would have thought-if she could have thought.
But she thought only of destroying the targets that so willing got in her way.
In a blizzard of feathers, Kyoko used a quick boost of magic to climb upwards, another two charred corpses fading below her. Her spear stabbed back and forth like a striking snake, chains writhing, its deadly kiss an extension of the girl's will to destroy.
As three of the things collided with her, one grabbed her leg and skirt with skeletal-thin arms, razor talons digging in to her flushed skin. Kyoko gritted her teeth and pulled back her lips, the aspect of a snarling wolf playing across features accentuated by the long canines her sneer revealed. Sharp claws, twisted and black at the end of the creature's misplaced arms, tore into her outfit like it was normal clothing. She twisted, turning around inside the creature's grip. She brought her legs up, kicking powerfully and propelling herself up again, razored chains and stabbing blade flickering amongst her attackers like lightning.
A tiny thought in the far recesses of consciousness was tugging at her awareness. She'd allowed the spirit of the berserker to ride her before; had actively sought it out for a period of her life. It had been an unhealthy addiction that had led to pain above and beyond that which it had been used to suppress. Because that was ultimately what it had to offer: the ability to lose yourself in the blood-lust.
She'd honed her ability to control the rage, to stoke it, nurture it, and when the time was ripe to set it loose. But murderous anger was like fire; hard to control. Sometimes it just came out. She was as close to a master as anyone could claim to be at shutting down all thought besides that required to fight and kill. Ruled by instinct, an even more primal compulsion than emotion. Mami had never approved. Kyoko had recently avoided giving in to the dark urges that had so often plagued her since becoming a Magical Girl. The last time she had lost control was when she had been fighting that obnoxious rooking with blu-
Kyoko blinked her eyes, crimson dulling back to a darker maroon. Sayaka! Her objective had been to keep these creatures from reaching her... glancing around to assess the battlefield, she noticed the group gliding towards the shoreline where the body of her friend lay. What's left of her, a dark part of her thought insistently. Plenty of time for recrimination later, she remembered, based on past experience-sometimes it felt like that was the theme of her entire life.
A dozen or so bird-things hovered or dove around her-when one got close enough she held her spear overhand and thrust it with all her might, cupping her hands and propelling herself off the butt as it sunk into the twisted beast. Allowing the weapon to disappear from within the fading familiar, she hurtled toward the area where she'd left Sayaka.
The group of bird-monsters that had broken past her during the frenzy had landed near where she'd laid her friend's broken body. As she approached the hopping and flapping creatures, she was again consumed with single-minded focus... this time with purpose rather than blood-lust.
Falling fast towards her opponents, Kyoko prepared to strike, seeing the creatures surround the body of her fallen companion. They reached out with vicious black claws, fingers eagerly twitching to rend cold, pale flesh. The red-head narrowed her eyes, knowing she'd never reach all four in time. The silent but tenacious creatures she'd disengaged from were once again approaching, and there just wasn't...
...wasn't enough of her...
...to go around.
Kyoko's Soul Gem flashed on her chest, a rose-tinted burst of lightning. The veteran, scarred from her numerous battles as a Puella Magi, but even more so by the actions of her father on that fateful day so long ago, felt herself let go. For a long time, as long as she could remember, she denied a part of herself that she blamed for the tragedy that had befallen her world. Her experiences during the past days had caused her to revisit some old, painful memories-had allowed her to rethink her understanding of the world and herself, and begin to reassess her place within it. It had been one of the most arduous tasks she had ever accomplished.
Mami would have been proud, she thought with a gleam in her eye, only half-mockingly.
She seemed to flash out of existence in a burst of pale red light, reappearing as it went out-in five separate places.
"Rosso Fantasma!" five Kyoko's shouted, as five spears began slashing and piercing the enemies around her. For once, she said the words not with embarrassment or mockery, but something closer to nostalgia. The four beasts fell instantly to the assault, the wicked black claws fading away mere inches from the body below-
The body. A wave of despair began to wash over the battered survivor. For a moment, it felt like one of those clawed hands had started digging around inside her stomach. She briefly looked down, noticing the smear of blood along the flesh of her abdomen, exposed through a ragged hole ripped in her dress, too preoccupied to be at all surprised at the state of her tattered outfit or gouged skin.
The remaining dozen creatures were almost upon her. Steeling her resolve with the skill of a well-practiced veteran of battle and suffering, Kyoko turned to face the diving monsters with five pairs of narrowed eyes. Each set stared at the faceless heads with a stoney intensity, devoid of fear or anger. Filled with determination.
Kyoko surrounded the fallen blunette, facing outward in a star shaped formation bristling with eagerness to inflict violence. Clawed fingers grasping in anticipation, the familiars dropped down from all directions.
Five pony-tailed warriors took a step forward, unraveling their spears in a spinning vortex of bladed chains. Spinning the weapons overhead, the overlapping circles of whirling chain flensed the incoming creatures as they entered the weapons' reach, slicing them apart. Black feathers rained from the sky, vanishing in moments as the familiars faded into nothing.
Nothing remained of her opponents. She leaned on her spear, four of her images vanishing.
Kyoko had to resume thinking again.
Life's so unfair, she thought, thinking of a hundred different things that proved her point-but nothing so vividly as the girl lying at her feet. She tried to drown in the bittersweet memories brought forth by once again invoking her "special ability," as Mami had called it-she'd named it as well. It's no Tiro Finale...
Kyoko shook her head pragmatically. I need to get out of here. Get Sayaka out...
She looked down at her fallen comrade, saddened most of all by the limited amount of time she had been allowed to spend with the girl. She hadn't considered how large a part the rookie had played in the vision of her future, but suddenly she was confronting a yawning abyss of-
Breath catching in her throat, the red-head bent down, a look of dubious amazement on her face. The horrific wound at her waist had disappeared. She gently laid her hand on the younger girl's pale skin, rocked back on her heels and fell on her back, heart beating madly. She squeezed her eyes shut, a tear trickling down her sharp cheekbone, letting out a breath that seemed to go on and on.
Opening her eyes, she rolled on her shoulders, pushed up off the ground with her powerful arms, and landed on her feet. She took off running, not about to let one second of this radical change in emotion go to waste. If there was any hope at all...
She found what she was looking for quickly-she'd noted but not acknowledged the location during the battle. Gingerly, even tenderly, Kyoko picked up three quarters of Sayaka's leg, trying to envision the amputated limb as a part of her friend rather than a piece of meat. It was heavier than she thought-no problem, just oddly disturbing, as if the what she was holding was not distressing enough. She laid it down below the horrible wound caused by the moon Witch, pressing it firmly back into its original place. She watched in queasy fascination as the seam along the cut began to come together, fading slowly into a white ring of scar paler that even Sayaka's bloodless skin tone. She sat there for half a minute.
Your stupid wish! Your selfishly selfless wish for that stupid boy, Kyoko thought in wonder. Come back. Come back to me.
Sayaka did not respond. Her eyelids didn't flutter and open, her chest did not begin to rise and fall. Looking more intently for clues about her friend's condition, her wild mood swings of the past several minutes continued. Just when she'd been ready to accept her friend's demise, she'd been given hope beyond her wildest dreams-hope that now began to turn sour as Kyoko gazed at the blue-black Soul Gem glimmering feebly from Sayaka's navel. Inky storm clouds from within the jewel were reflected in older girl's tired, disbelieving eyes. A black mist seemed to hover above the dull jewel, spinning, slowly being drawn into the vessel of her friend's soul.
This is not how it ends.
A thought rattled around Kyoko's broken mind, its contents swirling around in chaotic blasts of vivid, painful memories. The fire. The fight with Mami. Her father's accusations. Painfully ironic visions of the future, her friend reflected in a bathroom mirror, the comfort of holding a soft, slim hand in the tunnel, Sayaka sitting cross-legged between some buildings, munching on junk food.
Absurdly insistent, Kyoko was forced to relive her friend's excitement and vitality, hearing her again and again exclaim "Good luck is on the way!" Goddam Yan Yan prophecies, she raged bitterly, shaking with emotion. She clasped her hands together tightly, her thoughts pleading. It's just so unfair. After all I've been through, the least you could do is answer this one prayer. But the universe remained as silent and uncaring as always had in the past. As she knew it always would in the future.
%#$*ing lying Golden Egg, she thought irrationally-
Egg. The Witch's egg!
How could I be such a fool!? she though as her image blurred across the beach, a leaping somersault carrying her over the lake before she dove in.