Utgarde was gone, along with any plan Reiner and Bertholdt may have had before stepping foot in the castle. Everything had changed. They needed to act soon. Hesitating could have dire consequences.
Things had gotten bad very quickly at Utgarde. For a brief moment, things had seemed to be under control. Things even seemed to be going well. Reiner had always hoped for a chance to be with Krista, and here... it had happened. She was basically the girl of his dreams, and she had essentially thrown herself at him. It was the last thing he expected to happen, especially here. While it was certainly unexpected, Reiner was not complaining. He just wished it had happened under different circumstances, not just before everything would have to change.
Four veterans of the Survey Corps had come with them to Utgarde. None survived to leave the castle. They had all perished, trying to fight off the swarm of titans that had fallen upon them in the night. While they fought off the larger titans outside the castle, the rest of them had been left to fend for themselves inside. Smaller titans had gotten into the building, and the group had been forced to improvise in taking them out.
There had been too many close calls. One of those close calls was the reason that Reiner's arm was currently cradled in a sling – probably broken. The idea of him having broken bones seemed almost humorous, but he had to go along with it anyway. Concentrating on not healing was proving to be more difficult than he imagined. He had hurt himself plenty of times over the last five years, but those injuries were always more minor – a cut or a scrape that nobody would notice is gone after only a couple of days. This was different, and it ached.
The sling itself was a reminder of Krista – no, Historia. It was a reminder that things had been good for a moment. For a moment, they had seemed close – like he could almost let her in and share his burdens. Almost.
The truth was that Reiner had a mission to be concerned with. He had only needed to be reminded of it. Bertholdt had tried, but it was seeing Zeke that finally shook Reiner out of the fantasy he had almost allowed himself to want – the role he had allowed himself to get comfortable in.
Zeke was in the walls. When Reiner first saw him, he almost didn't believe his eyes. Zeke was in the walls. It only made sense that he was there for them. It had been five years... Of course Marley would send someone to find out what happened to the four Warriors entrusted with such an important mission. Upon seeing Zeke, Reiner had looked and Bertholdt and it was clear he was having the same thoughts. They would need to act, soon. Zeke was here to retrieve them, probably with Pieck as backup. This was serious. They couldn't not go to him.
It was all too much. Too many things happening, and decisions to be made. To top it all off... in a moment of desperation, Ymir revealed herself to be a titan shifter. She leapt from the top of the castle's only remaining tower and shifted into her titan in an effort to save the others who were present. Reiner could swear that there was a moment in which he ceased breathing, recognizing the familiar features of the titan that Reiner hadn't seen since Marcel's death – the Jaw Titan.
Ymir put up a good fight, and took out many of the titans besieging the castle. The Jaw Titan was a small but extremely nimble titan, and was able to use the terrain of the castle to its advantage. Eventually, the structure had taken more abuse than it was built to handle, and began to collapse. Riding on the back of Ymir's titan, Reiner, Bertholdt, Historia, and Connie were able to avoid injury as the castle fell on the attacking titans. They didn't stay down though, and Ymir was quickly overwhelmed. She was torn to shreds, losing both an arm and a leg before help finally came. Mikasa and the others had been a sight for sore eyes.
In those moments immediately following the rescue of those who remained alive at the ruins of Utgarde Castle, Historia revealed her true name to the rest of their comrades. She was honoring a promise that she had made to Ymir, who was in rough shape, but still alive.
Eren had come with their rescuers as well. That had made Reiner and Bertholdt's next steps that much clearer. On the ride back to wall Rose, they discussed their options. There weren't really any options though. There was only one choice they could make. They had to seize the opportunity that had been given to them. The group would ride back to Wall Rose to regroup.
On the ride to Wall Rose..
"Reiner, I think it's time we start talking about going home," Bertholdt had ridden up next to him, and was speaking in a hushed voice that was only just louder than a whisper. They could finally speak about what had occurred over the last 12 hours. Reiner looked at him sideways, acknowledging he had heard his words. "Zeke is here, which means Pieck is probably here as well. Those two are a team - always sent on missions together. Zeke is too valuable to send off on a solo mission to retrieve us, it only makes sense that Pieck is here too."
"You're right," Reiner chimed in, "Pieck is probably here - but we saw Zeke alone. We haven't seen Pieck at all. If she's here, where do you think she is?"
"Probably running reconnaissance..." Bertholdt started. "It's what she was always best at – staying in the shadows, watching, waiting. I doubt she would stray far from Zeke."
"That would make sense," Reiner acknowledged. "It's possible that she's watching us...even right now"
They both looked around, examining their surroundings. There were lots of places for a resourceful warrior like Pieck to be hiding, even in her titan form. She was always the most mobile of the warriors, even more so than the Jaw titan. In their first year as shifters, they had gotten to know that first-hand. Pieck often waited on the sidelines, ready to jump into the fray and save them if that ended up being necessary. Her titan was likely the weakest of all of the shifters, but she was excellent at utilizing its unique strengths.
"You're right," Bertholdt stated. "We made quite a ruckus at Utgarde. Zeke may have been watching. He may not have seen us, but certainly Ymir's transformation would have caught his attention. He has to know that something is up by now...He is likely here for us you know... it's been five years, but I would never have guessed that they would send him here."
Reiner nodded grimly. "No, I wouldn't have either," he replied. " It took me a minute to realize who I was looking at when we first saw him at Utgarde. It had been so long."
"We should try to reach him... to brief him on all that has happened," Bertholdt spoke as if this was a matter of fact. He wasn't wrong. That is exactly what they would be expected to do, upon seeing Zeke.
"What do you suggest? We aren't really in a position to leave at the moment. What about Annie?" Reiner hoped Annie was still okay. He hoped that she had maintained her cover after her botched attempt to take Eren, but the truth was that they had heard nothing from her since the events of the last scouting mission. Reiner knew that Bertholdt cared for her a great deal, and that he would be reluctant to leave her here alone.
Bertholdt looked down darkly at Reiner's mention of Annie. He fidgeted with his reins as he thought about her. When he spoke again, his voice was strained, "Annie... may be beyond our help now... Do you really think she will get away with everything she did during our last scouting mission? Do you really think her identity is still unknown?" He hesitated before continuing, "Even if it is, then for how long? I hope she is safe, but I think it would be unwise for us to continue to openly associate with her. It's too risky. If they figure out who she is and what she has done... well... it wouldn't take any stretch of the imagination for them to figure out who we are... what we did. And then it will be all over for us."
Reiner's eyes widened as he stared at Bertholdt. "What are you saying?" He was struggling to keep his voice at a whisper. He hadn't expected such cold resolve from his friend.
"Reiner," Berthold looked pained. "You know how much I care about her. You know how much I want to leave these walls for good, and take her with us... but that isn't going to be an option for us anymore. We have to think about ourselves. We have to think about our mission. Annie is strong...and cunning. We have to assume she will be fine on her own"
"So... what you're saying..." Reiner looked around carefully to make sure that they were not being overheard. "It's time for us to complete our mission..." He found himself caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. 'What about the walls? The Survey Corps? Our friends and comrades...?'
Bertholdt grunted quietly in agreement before continuing. "I know we aren't certain that Eren is our target... but he would be valuable regardless. And now we know that Ymir is the one... who... ate Marcel and took his titan. If we returned home with those two in-hand, that would probably satisfy everyone... we would be allowed to live" After a moment, he continued, "I think... we should try to make an escape when we reach Wall Rose. I think that might be our only chance."
"Wait..." Reiner started. "Now? That would be suicide. Do you think they are going to give us a chance to escape with Eren? And it's not as if he is helpless. You know he will fight. People will die. Surely, some of our friends and fellow soldiers will be killed in a fight like that." He shuddered at the thought and felt a coldness envelop him.
"Reiner. Stop." Bertholdt glared at him darkly. "You can't let yourself think of them as friends anymore. You're not a soldier. You're a warrior. And you're right... people will probably die- but does that even matter? These walls are doomed – you know that as well as I do. There is no future here. No one person can change that... least of all, you. Get yourself together. This is bigger than us. We have a mission – a mission we have been sorely failing at but now is our chance to fix that."
'No future... Could that be true?' Reiner's mind raced. 'Is there truly no hope for all of the people in these walls? How many thousands... will die?' Something in him was breaking. His thoughts became increasingly untethered. 'My hands are already so red with blood, the blood of so many. So many deaths, at my hands. We were just kids Bertholdt. We didn't know anything.'
A moment of silence passed between them before Bertholdt spoke again. "We can handle Eren. You can handle Eren. You can best him in combat – you are stronger. We can take them by surprise when we reach the wall. I can grab Ymir, but I can't carry them both with ODM gear. You will have to grab Eren. If he fights you, do it on the ground. Lure him to just under my position. I should be able to incapacitate him. Just have your titan scream for me when you are in position..." Reiner was aware that his friend was concerned about him, about his behavior recently.
He thought of Historia. He didn't want to think of her now, with his heart and mind in such turmoil, but he did. 'I'll keep her safe' is what he had thought to himself, not even a half day ago. The memory was still so fresh, so new and wonderful. It was hard for him to think of any other time in his life where he had felt so free. It was such a small taste of joy, but even that was more joy than he knew he deserved. 'I am a weapon,' he thought sorrowfully. 'Only a weapon. That's all I was meant to be.' He thought of Marcel. 'I have to be a true warrior. I have to be strong.'
They rode on in silence, as Wall Rose loomed closer and closer.
"When we are inside Wall Maria territory, it will be harder for them to give chase. Then all we have to do is find Zeke and Pieck. And then we can go home," Bertholdt concluded. "Then that's it – we will be done here. We will finally be done."
'Done...' It felt as if Reiner's mind and soul were collapsing as he stared up at the immensity of the wall. 'They're never going to be done with us Bertholdt, and I don't know what's right anymore'.