Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He was mad. Mad wasn't even the right word. His 6' 3" frame charged at me with all intent to tear me down and rip me to shreds. His hands slammed against the wall leaving me cowering below him.

"Ro-Roman?" I managed to choke out. I avoided his steel gray gaze and instead focused on his shining dress shoes.

"He's my fucking brother. Like, he IS my family Leena..."

Why did he have to say those words? I knew they were true. So fucking true but it just hurt a million times more to hear them coming straight from his lips. I hurt him. I hurt Roman and I was messing things up even more. I opened my mouth to speak, trying to formulate my thoughts into coherent sentences.

"Roman."

Both of our heads turned to see Dean standing behind Roman, hands stuffed into the pocket of his dress pants and looking about as horrible as I felt. Both men locked eyes and stayed quiet. The air around us became thick with heated tension.

"Roman, don't take it all out on her, ok? I'm equally at fault here. I never even thought about how you and Seth felt. I was selfish, seriously selfish. I turned my back on you guys."

"Dean, don't fucking start. This isn't about you!" Roman shot back.

"It is! Leena and I are together. It's both of our faults. The last thing we wanted to do was hurt the guy we care most about." Dean joined me at my side, setting an arm around me in an effort to give me comfort and show solidarity.

"Together? Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?" Roman stared us both down and shook his head in disappointment. He turned away and bumped into someone we all didn't expect to see-Brock Lesnar. Dean and I were taken aback. He wasn't really supposed to be at the Hall of Fame show but must've been around Santa Clara for Wrestlemania the next day. Roman's angry glare was now transferred from Dean and I to his opponent. Of course Brock didn't back down and the tension rose even more. From behind Roman I could see Sable smirking and patting Brock's chest making him back away in a "for now" motion. I watched the cougar and giant Thumb-Thumb walk away. I reached out to Roman but he pushed my arm away and stormed off.

"Dean," I choked out, "Is this all worth it? I'm...we're just making shit worse for everyone! I don't think this was worth it!"

His blue eyes showed hurt and confusion. "You're saying I'm not worth it? I'm the only one who's got your back right now, Lee!"

"No, that's not-! I mean...what the hell are we even doing, Dean?" I wrapped my arms around his tightly and sobbed onto the lapels of his suit jacket. I tried not to smear my makeup directly on his white button up but that was the least of my problems. Dean squeezed me tightly.

"I don't even know, dude. But we're two people that always fuck up..."

Separate rooms. No contact since last night. Angry glares, awkward stares as I passed through the venue. It didn't matter anymore though. The biggest match of my career, possibly one of the biggest matches in the history of the Diva's division was about to take place. Our match wasn't something PG. It didn't fit in this era. That cage was going surround Gwen and I and neither one of us would leave unscathed. I didn't have time to think about my love life and everything I've fucked up along the way. A career defining moment was about to happen and if anything was more important than my love life it was definitely my career.

I took deep breaths and stretched out my shoulders and neck trying to calm my nerves down at least a little. It was barely working. The acid in my stomach felt like it was going to burn a hole right threw me. This feeling was 10 times worse than the feeling I had right before my debut. Suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder and I jumped up in fright. I turned quickly, holding my chest and trying to still my beating heart.

"Hey," Gwen said, a sad smile on her face. "We got this, yeah? I know this isn't good time for you but let's have fun."

I couldn't help but hug her tightly. This moment was just as big for Gwen as it was for me. Coming all the way from Russia and a family that told her she shouldn't do wrestling, making her way through indies without any assistance. She was ten times the woman I was. "I love you so much Gwen. You don't even know."

"Don't give me that much credit, heh. I can barely stand you sometimes. But like I said you have good intentions. Don't worry. Things happen for reason. Let's kick some ass!"

I smiled and wiped away the forming tears from my eyes. "Yeah. I'm sure I can lift your big ass and slam you right through that table. The first Diva's Hell in a Cell is going down in history."

Gwen chuckled and gave me one last squeeze before we heard her intro music start. "Well is time for me to go. I'll see you out there!" She said before running to the gorilla. I was feeling a bit better after that and was getting more pumped up than ever. I adjusted my knee pads and made sure my new official gear wouldn't cause me to have a wardrobe malfunction. I couldn't wear those little shorts and tank top things that other girls wore. I needed pants. After a few moments of boos from the crowd, as Gwen was a heel, my music began.

The hard bass and guitar chords announced my imminent arrival and a few seconds into the song I was onstage. The open California air hit me and I got a decent pop from the crowd. Looking around at the 76 thousand plus fans was one of the most amazing feelings ever. I ran down the ramp and looked at the cage as it descended. Gwen was already in the ring, her fighting stance in place. Me entering the doors of the cage would mean no turning back. Through the cheers of the crowd I could hear Lilian announcing our contest and our names. I stepped through and slid into the ring facing my best friend.

The bell rang and after a few moments of squaring up we broke apart. I ran and bounced against the ropes hoping to land a clothesline but Gwen got a shoulder tackle in. It didn't help that she was a foot taller than me either. My back slammed down onto the canvas where I stayed for a few seconds to sell it for a bit. I rolled to my feet and we circled each other again. The crowd began to die down a bit and all the focus was on us again. We both did a few basic moves to get ourselves pumped up before breaking out the weapons. First came the chairs. A few hard lands on the chairs and my back seemed to be covered in bruises. I came back with a kendo stick and left harsh marks on Gwen's legs and back. The kendo stick broke in half soon after. The crowd was getting more and more pumped up when they realized that us girls were serious. This wasn't even the half of it. Multiple tables were broken leaving us breathless and battered. There were small scratches and nicks on us both, a bit of blood smeared on the canvas. I could see Gwen at the corner of my eye slinking out from the ring, probably to get another weapon. Hadn't she had enough already? Who was I kidding? Her idol was Mick Foley. She'd keep going even if she lost a damn tooth like he did.

Slowly I got to my knees as Gwen returned to the ring, sack in hand. She wouldn't...

The crowd exploded as the silver and gold pushpins scattered onto the canvas. I shook my head in disbelief. This little...bitch! It was on now. The last leg of the race. We had to go big or go home and I was determined not to fall into that pit. We squared up and tossed each other with a few Irish Whips, trying to avoid that daunting pile of pins. But just as I was charging for Gwen once more she grabbed me and landed a sidewalk slam right into the thumbtacks. I felt several pricks in me back, thighs and head, even my hands. I arched my body in pain and cried out loud. Gwen shoved my back down and tried to land a pin. At two and a half I kicked out and Gwen faked disbelief. After a few more painstaking moments we were battling again. But it was in my cards to win, no matter how much Gwen didn't want to admit. It was inevitable. Soon she was on my shoulders and was hauled into a Kiss of Death, my knee ramming into her stomach. Gwen collapsed to the ground and in 3 short seconds our historic match was over. The crowd popped with enthusiasm and my ears filled with the sound of thousands of claps.

I was still in pain of course. I wanted to take the longest nap ever. But damn did it feel good to get my hand raised in victory. I held my stomach as I crawled out the ring and made my way up to the ramp once more. Once I got backstage I saw Roman preparing for his match. He looked me up and down surveying the bruises and thumbtacks still inside me. I wanted to say something but I couldn't muster up enough courage. He seemed to want to say something too. I saw him make his way towards me when the medics grabbed my arm and whisked me away. I looked back at him longingly but he seemed to be occupied again. I didn't need emotional pain to add onto the physical pain I was already feeling.

As I got into the medic room I saw Dean laying on a table with an ice pack on his back. It must've been hell to get slammed through that ladder and probably took a toll on him.

"Leena! Fuck! That was brutal. Are you ok?!" He said in his usual raspy voice.

"Dean, I've got like a hundred tacks in me. I'm dying. What about you though? How's your back?"

"Oh I'm lucky I didn't break it. But I've had worse. All in a days work." He reached his hand out and I took it, squeezing it tightly.

"Do you think...Roman will win?" I asked softly as the tacks were plucked from me one by one.

Dean stood quiet for a moment and looked up at the tv in the room. "I guess it all depends but I think they've already got some stuff planned where he doesn't win."

"That will put him in an even worse mood. I don't know if I should be around him when he comes back..."

"Leena...I know you really care about Roman and all this is weighing down on you. If you...if you don't want to be together then I understand."

I looked at Dean and mentally chewed over his proposition. Would I actually leave Dean and Seth completely just to stay with Roman?

Miss me?

JK, sorry if this wasn't worth the wait I'm still trying to pick up where I left off and figure out where to go from here!