Chapter One:

Peter peeked through the curtains that concealed a balcony overlooking the throne room, which was filled to maximum capacity. 'Shit, how many people are even out there?' He thought. 'As if my anxiety about this whole coronation thing wasn't bad enough now I'm going to have stage-fright. . . Great!'

Peter was pulled from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder.

"You'll be fine son."

Peter turned to see that his father, the previous king of underworld, had joined him in the balcony. "Hey Dad," He said, giving him a hug. "And I'm not sure that I will. . ."

Tony chuckled, "I felt the same way before my coronation, but everything went fine. I even got laid by the cute crown-bearer."

"Dad!" Peter exclaimed blushing a deep red.

Tony double over in laughter just as Steve stepped into the balcony. "What's going on here? Tony, what did you do to make our son blush?" Steve said in a disapproving tone.

Tony wiped his eyes and straightened up. "I told our dear Peter about my own coraonation."

Steve rolled his eyes, no further explanation was needed. "I hope you didn't emotionally scar our son before his big moment."

"Pop, I've been with you guys since I was three. All the emotional scarring that was gonna happen already did." Peter said flatly. Steve laughed at that as a trumpet sounded throught the hall below.

"That's our que." Tony said taking Steve and Peter by the hands. "It's time to go turn our kingdom over." Tony said, His face and voice suddenly serious. "I wasn't messing with you before. You will be fine. Pops and I will be right there. If you need any help just look to us. Though I'm sure that won't be necessary."

"Thank you Dad, Papa." Peter said as his fathers hugged him. "And thank you for trusting me with your kingdom. I will do my best to lead."

Steve had to turn away to wipe his tears before pulling Peter into an even tighter hug. "We are so proud of you son."

Tony smiled and patted both on the back. "We really are. Now lets go get 'em!"

OYO

Peter ended up doing just fine. The ceremony went over without a hitch and before he knew it it was time for the party.

Peter had never really been one for parties. He disliked the fake interest people gave at them, but it was tradition so he put up with it.

Two hours into shaking hands and excepting gifts however made him a little less okay with it.

Finally, after three hours, Pepper (who was still the Royal adviser and didn't look a day over 130) brought the party to a close. A greatful Peter graciously waved everyone off before he just collapsed on the (excuse me) 'His' throne.

"Nnngh!" Peter groaned as he stretched and threw off his robes.

"I think you've had enough fun tonight to last quite awhile Master Peter." Jarvis said as he appeared to pick up Peter's disgarded robes.

"How do you even do that?" Peter asked from his slumped position on the throne.

"Do what Master Peter?" Jarvis asked, folding Peter's robes neatly and transporting them to his bedroom with a snap of his fingers.

"How do you automatically know when something is a mess?" Peter asked.

Jarvis chuckled. "I don't, I simply know you. You are quite a bit like your father, the previous king. He would often cast aside his own robes after a party such as that one."

Peter eyed Jarvis, unable to tell if the spector was making an innuendo or not.

"Yes Master Peter, I did." The Spector said as he disappeared.

Peter eyed the space left by the spector in shock. 'No way. . . can he? . . . Nah. . . '

OYO

Wade Wilson stared up at the ceiling of his run down apartment. He could have afforded better, but he figured why go throught the trouble of buying a nice house when he would be just as miserable as he would be in this apartment.

He sighed and twirled the knife that was in his hand. Casually knicking his wrists and forearms as he juggled it. He'd attempted suicide twice already this month, which brought his total up to 23 attempted suicides. They were never showy of course, he didn't want to end up at the happy farm. His chances of

success would seriously dwindle if he was locked up.

But it was really annoying him how something would always prevent his death. Whether it was the rope breaking or the pills he'd snatched being a placebo, something always got in the way. Once he'd even landed in a runaway blow-up raft after trying to jump off the Brooklyn bridge. Who the heck put a blow-up raft in that water anyway?!

Wade sighed as he turned on to his back. 'Somebody up there really doesn't want to have to deal with me. I'm certain of it.' he thought as he moved from the bed to the easychair. He flipped on the TV and prepared for

another sleepless night planning suicides. Just suicides, he didn't even bother with the note at this point. Besides it wasn't like there was anyone to read it anyway.

Halfway through Adultswim Wade realized he smelled smoke. 'Well what do you know? Looks like my newest suicide attempt has been all planned out.' He thought as he sat back in his lazyboy and prepared to burn.

About 3 minutes later the screams started.

Wade just chuckled and considered getting up to get a snack. But as it wasn't going to matter in a couple minutes he just stayed where he was.

10 minutes later the building was mostly quiet but for the roar of the flames, which had yet to actually reach his apartment. Just as Wade was trying to decide if this counted as an attempt if he hadn't been trying, he heard a small cry.

'You've got to be kidding me.' He thought as he sighed, got out of his chair, and followed the noise. 'After all this yet another suicide foiled. Look's like I can add 'crying child' to the list of suicide blocks.'

Wade knew instantly which apartment the sound was coming from and he as he raced down the stairwell and hallway he cursed the fates for making him save a kid whose cries he hated.

Wade used his shoulder to burst through the door and into the living room of the other apartment. It only took him a few seconds to locate the kid, who was hidden behind the sofa.

"Alright pip-squeak, let's go!" Wade said as he took off his shirt to hold over the kids nose and mouth. "You're gonna owe me one kiddo." He said as he headed back towards the door. He had just reached the stairwell however when the fire did too. "Shit!" Wade swore. As the kid in his arms started to cry Wade ran back into the apartment in search of another way out.

His eyes fell on the window and in that moment he knew. They were only three stories up, the kid would survive. He wouldn't.

"So this is how it really ends. A hero." Wade shook his head and bundled the kid into his arms. The flames licked at his legs and hips, He held the kid close as he ran at the window.

The fall lasted only a second, But when he landed he somehow ended up only breaking his legs. "You have got to be kidding me." he moaned as he dropped the kid and rolled over. And that's when it happened. The kid got up and toddled away. . . and Wade rolled into a puddle of oil.

It was painful, he writhed and tried to escape it. He'd wanted a quick death, not this! He last thoughts on earth were a few minutes later, just as the fire department, drawn by his screams, put him out.

'At least I went out with a. . .'

'BANG!'

'BaNg!'

A pair of voices cackled as Wade faded from the world of the living.

Sorry for the morbid ending, but it actually isn't (well not really anyway). Now Wade gets to go meet Peter, so even thought it seems like something that George R. R. Martin guy would write I promise it's not. ( I don't believe character butchering)

Anyway, If you liked this or want me to continue please review.

Thanks!