"So… If I may ask, how do you have a wand? Neither me or Cissy have one." I definitely let myself get distracted by her… immense beauty… but I need to keep a unbiased eye on her. I don't know if she's the one that brought us to, er, wherever we are, but she knows who did at least. So I can't let my guard down, if not for my sake, but for Cissy's sake.
"Oh, I found it." At my unimpressed look, "I told you I did some exploring, right? I was trying to figure out what was different about… this place, and I couldn't find anything. Everything was exactly as I remembered it. And, as it turns out, one of my former classmates lives nearby. I went into her house and, well, took the spare wand she had." And as my look changes to greedy, she frowns, "She only had one… and for the record, I'm not even sure you can USE a wand. Either of you."
"and what's THAT supposed to mean, you… you… muggleborn?" I snarl, and I can't believe this… this HUSSY insulted my magical ability! Cissy looks pretty steamed too, and Hermione looks surprised at our reactions.
"Oh! No, not like that. Bellatrix, trust me. I would NEVER underestimate you." She gives me a significant look that that I miss completely, "And Narcissa is no slouch either. No, if I'm right, you were placed under a sort of curse, that would prevent you from accessing your magic. Think of it like losing your voice."
"Any of my magic?" That does not fill me with any confidence… If it was merely us being incompatible with centering our magic through a wand, then I could at least try and use wandless magic.
"Well, maybe accidental magic." She says, thought it seems more like speculation then anything solid. Still, if that's true, neither of us are TRULY powerless. Wait, hold on.
"And this curse… wasn't placed on you?" Cissy asks suspiciously.
"I'll tell you later." She quickly walked past us back into the stairway, and we follow, both annoyed at the complete lack of satisfactory answers we are being given. While it's true that at least she isn't, you know, cursing us or anything, leading us around without telling us much of anything is hardly any better.
We start down the road, though I'm much too distracted staring at everything to listen to Hermione and Narcissa's conversation. It's… strange, to be in a gigantic city with no people in it. There's a melancholy there, but there's also… excitement. I can't help but feel excited. Despite the fact I have no wand, despite the fact that we're dependant on someone who refuses to tell us all the answers…
I feel happier now than I ever did at Hogwarts.
Mindlessly going to the lessons. Listening to the stupidly simple and basic explanations of how to float a feather, or transfigure a snail into an alarm clock. Waiting for them to let us practice and then, minutes later, doing the spell correctly. Always, always the first one to do it. Getting assigned homework I could've completed before the class even started. Going back to the dorms, writing the homework, and then reading… reading books about stuff that actually matters, but never getting to use any of that knowledge. Because everyone at Hogwarts is a… is a moron.
"Do you have any tips on how someone might trigger accidental magic… on purpose?" Cissy's voice interrupts my inner monologue, "Just in case…"
"Well, other than being in a hard situation… not really." Hermione says apologetically, "Sorry."
"I've never even thought to study wandless magic." I say, "I guess it was just arrogance, but… I never thought I'd need it."
"Not a lot of people do, even the muggleborns." Hermione offers, "And it's bloody hard, too. You can spend hours and hours and hours training, and get nothing to show for it other than a feather you've floated a foot off the ground."
Once we get to the end of Great Dover street, I look at Hermione, waiting for her to decide where we were going.
"Up." She says, pointing towards the road up to London Bridge, "It's the farthest away from the Ministry and Diagon Alley, so if any of the bridges would be safe, it would be that one."
"Say… you sound exceptionally worried about what we'll find on the other side of the river." I ask quietly, trying to not let Cissy hear, "Do you know… what we're facing? Should we be preparing for something?"
"That… is a good question." She says just as quietly, "Honestly, I have very little idea of what we'll find on the other side of the river. Well, I have ideas, I have theories, just not… knowledge."
"Truly? You're not lying?" I don't think she is, but best to ask anyway.
"I give you my word." She says, as though that's supposed to mean something coming from someone so secretive and obviously guilty of… something. Even if she wasn't the one who kidnapped us, she's still complicit in this whole situation. Somehow.
I don't want to needlessly antagonize her though, so I merely nod my assent and continue along quietly. As we walk quietly to the bridge, I finally start to take stock of this more modern interpretation of London. It's definitely changed from what I remember. Not much, because the style is still the same, but updated nonetheless. The technology is obviously improved too, because something catches my eye: a small little business, advertising for devices called… cell phones.
"What are cell phones? I'm aware of what phones are, of course… Obviously, I've been through the visitor entrance of the Ministry before, so anyone from our world who doesn't know how a phone works is a moron." I raise my voice to allow Cissy into the conversation, as she was off looking at the various buildings, and I suspect she was also taking stock at how much London had changed. I think. Wait, did she look a little… older?
"Oh. They're kind of a new thing. I'm not sure of HOW they work, necessarily; something about satellites?" She sounds slightly disappointed in herself, "Merlin, do I feel out of touch sometimes… Anyway, you can use these phones wherever you get the connection, so you can call when you're out and about."
Hmm. That did sound mildly useful. They sounded similar to the two way mirrors rich families all seemed to have, though the big problem with the mirrors is that you could only contact the brother mirror.
"Hey, that reminds me." Hermione says, and waits for the both of us to face her before she continues, "Can you tell me how Hogwarts was like in the 60's?"
"Well, considering I've never gone to Hogwarts except IN the 60's, it's a little hard to compare, yeah?" I wait a few seconds before replying, "I don't know. It seemed quite normal to me. Fairly boring, for the most part. Going to class, going to Hogsmeade, writing exams, dealing with arrogant Gryffindors…"
"Slytherin through and through, huh?" She smirks, not unkindly, "I happen to be one of those Gryffindors."
"I'm sorry for your loss." I bow my head in solidarity, and she just giggles.
"We ARE a smidge snotty, huh?" She remarks, but Cissy shakes her head.
"Hey, not all of you are bad. The ones from my year are quite nice towards us Slytherins, actually… Well, most of them."
"Weird. In my time, I rarely, if ever, met a Slytherin in my time at Hogwarts that wasn't calling me a Mudblood or, at best, ignoring me." Hermione shrugs, "We were all teenagers, of course, so I get it, but it was a little disappointing."
"The ones from my year are all idiots." I snort, and Cissy just shakes her head in response.
"Bella, you think EVERYONE from your year is an idiot." She points out, "Even some of the teachers!"
"I assume you got all O's on your N.E.W.T.s." She says airily, and I nod.
"I've always been considered the smartest witch in my year, even if there's a bunch of Ravenclaws who take umbrage with that statement." Hermione rolls her eyes with a knowing smile.
"Same with me. Plenty of Ravenclaws got so offended that a Gryffindor was considered smarter than the rest of them." She chuckles, "I've always found that so… ridiculous. The hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw too, but I asked for Gryffindor instead. The hat will always take your request into account."
"Really?" That… seems off, to me. If that were really the case, why was there such contention between Slytherin and the other houses? I admit, I only had to touch the hat on my head for it to put me in Slytherin, but was that what was happening on those children who had it on for a minute or more?
"I know, right? My best friend, one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, almost got put in Slytherin. But being in Slytherin doesn't make you a bad person, even if they were all berks in school. I have a few co-workers that were in Slytherin, and they're perfectly fine."
"Where do you work?"
"Unspeakable." My suspicion, already high, raises slightly and she gives me a knowing look, "I know that makes me a little more suspicious, but I don't want to lie. I'd rather not tell you something than lie."
"Fair enough." Obviously not a Slytherin way of thinking, but it's something I can respect at least, "How is it?" I've always been interested in magic theory, and with how stagnant the Wizarding World is… The unspeakable job has always held my interest for being the only place in the British Ministry of Magic actually doing research of any kind.
"It's actually a lot less interesting than I thought it'd be. Well, maybe that's not fair. I was probably putting too much expectation in it… but I've done some really interesting research, personally, and one of my favorite parts of the job is the weekly staff meeting, where a bunch of representatives from the different disciplines come together and talk about their own research. Well, as long as it's not secret. That does happen from time to time." She explains.
"And the ministry allows muggleborns to work there?" I ask, and at her unimpressed look I grimace, "I don't mean it like that. I've heard rumors that the Ministry doesn't allow muggleborns to become unspeakables. Obviously I don't know a whole lot of people who ARE one, but it's just a rumor I've heard."
"Not at all. That does make me curious, though. You've mostly called me muggleborn, and even when I didn't deny it you still treated me the same way. Obviously I know this situation we're in is quite… extraordinary, and you probably fear angering me, but..." She gives me a scrutinizing glance, "Do you… not believe in blood purity?"
"If you want me to be truthful? Yes, I do believe that I'm better for being born to magical parents vs. you who wasn't. But honestly, if I wasn't under the yoke of my parents, I probably wouldn't care all that much. I simply have advantages that you, with parents as muggles, wouldn't have. Narcissa…, well, she doesn't believe in it either." She doesn't believe a whole lot of what our parents tell her, to be honest.
"Andromeda doesn't believe in it at all. She's all sweet on that Tonks fellow." I roll my eyes at Cissy's interjection, but that does raise a certain question...
"Andi isn't here, right?" At Hermione's shake of the head I tilt my own head and ask, "Why just us two?"
"Well, actually, it should just be you." She corrects, "But if you're worried about Andi, don't be. Anyway, you say you believe in blood purity… but not that much? What's that supposed to mean? I thought it was pretty much a black and white belief, personally."
"Do I believe that you, as a muggleborn, are inherently inferior to me because of something so simple as blood? No." Well, not REALLY, but I'm certainly not aiming to antagonize the only one of our party that can use a wand, "But there are certain advantages that me and Cissy have, that you don't, and unless you're extremely smart it can be hard to fight against those advantages. So your blood isn't what makes your kind inferior, the fact that you don't know the Wizarding World exists until you're 11 years old makes you inferior."
She stops walking, oddly, and when I look back her face is twisted in… humor? Sadness? I walk back and… I don't know, touch her to try and comfort her or something, but she twists her arm away from mine and moves closer to Narcissa. She's starts giggling a little, though, so… What happened to her?
"So. You don't really believe in blood purity at all." She sounds sarcastic, "But the simple fact that many magical children born to non-magical families are running at a disadvantage, which is entirely true. I've brought this very issue up with the Minister, and we've had talks about introducing a sort of… introductory course for muggleborn children before they come to Hogwarts."
"That sounds like a fantastic idea." I answer easily.
You… are a lot different to what I expected." She says.
"And what did you expect?" I ask simply, "Obviously you know about me, but I'm not really sure how. I don't appreciate being at a disadvantage..."
"..." She stops again, but this time it's perfectly understandable. We're finally close enough to see the bridge, and...
What in Merlin's name happened to London Bridge? Right at the spot where the bridge is actually crossing the water, A wall blocks our way. It covers the entire width of the bridge, and I can tell it's thick. Perhaps 4-5 meters? About as tall as a 6 story building, as well. It looks connected to the walls of the two buildings on either end, so we couldn't even hop off to the water's edge from this road. That wasn't the only weird thing, however.
There was a cauldron, right on the left hand lane. It looked oddly normal, like you'd find dotting a room inside Slughorn's potion class. Though we were quite far away, I could see the potion fumes from here. They looked sickly, emerald green, and very dangerous. Just then, Hermione broke out in a run and we both joined her. She ran faster than us, probably due to her being in… superior shape… so by the time we got to the strange wall, she was examining the cauldron very closely, circling it very quickly. She looks both angry and curious.
Now that we're here, I can see a simple looking goblet like you might use at Hogwarts nearly behind it, and on it says, 'drink to get across'. I've never seen this particular potion before, but I'm not a moron. There is no way that potion is safe to drink, and Narcissa looks similarly disgusted at the notion. Hermione, however, is studying the potion intently, moving her mouth but not saying anything. Once she finishes examining everything, she grabs the goblet and glares at it.
"This potion… I have no idea what it's called. Not even Snape knew what it was called. But according to my best friend, it's extraordinarily dangerous. I believe it induces fear, primarily, and delirium. I've never seen it before in my life, and the only one who has… well, anyway, Dumbledore had to drink this potion to get something on the bottom of the cauldron, and it reduced him to a blubbering, crying wreck."
"Merlin…" Narcissa backs away instantly and I can't say I blame her. I don't have a super high opinion of Dumbledore, personally, but one can't deny the man has power and intelligence in spades.
(His wisdom was always what I took issue with)
So to hear that, I take a step back too.
"You can't… vanish it, or anything?" I ask.
"If Dumbledore's only course of action was to drink this, I have a hard time imagining I could do anything about it." She does try to cast some spells at it, attempting to Vanish it, to Charm it, to Transfigure it into something else… but nothing works.
"Should we… try another bridge?" Narcissa asks, wearily.
"There are two avenues of thought I have on that subject." She ducks down and leans her nose on the cauldron's lip, "This bridge is the farthest away from Diagon Alley and the Ministry. If this is the protection they're using for this part of the bridge… They've either got similar potions on all of the bridges, or we're going to find something worse once we get closer."
"You don't think we can… swim, do you?" Narcissa asks, and though swimming in the Themes sounds like a great way to bathe in sludge… well, compared to that potion, it might be the best option. Obviously we can't get to the riverside here, but maybe by going through some of the buildings...
"Probably not. That'd kind of defeat the purpose." Merlin, she's being so secretive… if I had my wand…
"If what you say is true, and this potion affected someone like Dumbledore… I would rather take my chances with this, than to see what they might think is WORSE." I grimace, "Whoever 'they' are. But do you know if this affects the drinker afterward?"
"Dumbledore… was alright, if a little weak." Hermione answers, "It was a pretty crazy night that night, but from what Harry said… I think he was okay."
"I'll do it." Narcissa says, face full of fear.
"Cissy?" I was actually going to suggest I would do it, but I wasn't expecting her to say anything.
"Bella… You're going to be more useful than me, if we find another wand. Actually, we're both useless compared to Hermione, really, but I really don't want to see you… I can't see you drink this, and… feel that pain and delirium." She says that significantly, and I haven't the faintest idea what she means. Hermione looks between the two of us with interest.
"Well, I agree it should be one of us." I admit, "But… are you sure, Narcissa?"
"You… You're going to be more helpful than me. You're smarter, stronger, faster… I'm a little useless." She smiles awkwardly, "Please, Bella?"
"Okay." I step back a little further alongside Hermione, and allow Narcissa to stand towards the potion. Hermione looks oddly proud, for some reason.
She slowly dips down, grabbing the goblet from the ground where Hermione grabbed it and stands back up, looming over the potion. I can see her shaking already, and the part of me that can't stand the insults Andi gets for loving a Mudblood, or when Rabastian was bullying my little cousin is telling me to stop her… But what she says was entirely logical. We can't let Hermione drink it; she's our only caster at the moment, if what she says is true. And I would be in better shape to carry Narcissa, vs. the other way around. Part of me wants to turn away, but… I can't let her do this alone. I start inching closer to her.
She dips in the goblet, and comes back out with the goblet, almost dripping with the potion. The drops… they don't fall to the ground, but actually fall back INTO the potion. Almost like it was Summoning it back. So she takes her trembling hand, lifts the goblet to her lips… and drinks.
Her shoulders tense, but she doesn't seem any different… She goes quickly for the next couple, as though she were trying not to lose her nerve, and it was then that I could see the effect it was having. She was starting to shake, and I leap over to make sure she could stand. Hermione stayed back, watching the both of us presumably. Protecting us, maybe? Narcissa's face was pale, and she just kept dipping the goblet in, and swallowing the potion… By the time it was half drunk, she started moaning.
"No… Draco… Not… Please, no..." She slows her pace, and I… I want to take the goblet from her and do it myself, but… I start guiding her hand instead, feeling rotten for every dollop of potion I help her scoop up. She continues moaning, and nothing she's saying makes any sense to me. She keeps talking about a Draco… moaning this name, over and over again… but by the time she takes one of her last pulls, she says something shocking.
"Don't… Bella, please don't…Torture her… I want… I want… I want… My Bella back…" She's crying, and blubbering, and she looks incredibly ugly… Once I get the last portion down her throat, she throws the goblet away and jumps out of my grip. She lies face down on the street and she moves to beat her fists against the hard concrete, and I grab them quickly to prevent that. Meanwhile, I hear Hermione come up behind us...
"Somnum." She flicks her wand and I can feel Narcissa fall into an uneven sleep, with her arms still raised in the air. She's no doubt having nightmares about the things she saw while drinking the potion… Merlin, why did I let her do that!? Why didn't I insist on doing it instead, or having Hermione do it…
"Bellatrix… Trust me, she will be fine." She grabs my hand and gently lowers both mine and Narcissa's arm down to the ground. I let them go once they're both on the ground and I turn to the suddenly close older witch, her face inches from mine.
"She's my little sister. I've always tried to protect her from Mum, and Dad… and was actually successful at it, unlike with Andi." I say quietly, sitting up in a hurry to get away from the suddenly close muggleborn, not wanting to let her see my blushing face.
She casts a charm on Narcissa nonverbally, and she picks her up gently, to hand her to me. I grab her easily, and her smile seems to be trying to pick me up, "We should get going…" She points towards the rest of the bridge, and I finally notice the wall was gone, "Tell me about your parents? You don't get along?"
"It seems like all three of us have different problems with them. For me, it's always been how… honestly, how stupid they were. By the time I was 11, I could argue them into the ground if I wasn't afraid of being punished. For as dumb as my Father was, he's always had an issue with being shown up by us. Whether it was because we were girls or children, but…" I knew what she was doing, of course. Trying to distract me from my sister, and it was welcome, "Andi's big problem was the blood purity shite. Always curious about muggles, so she constantly was at war because she dared go outside and talk to a muggle or some such."
"What about Narcissa?" Hermione asks as they make their way down the ghostly empty bridge. There weren't even any cars on here.
"Well, I guess they've given up on me and Andromeda, so they're trying to make her into their perfect child. But she's not super obedient, so she constantly gets annoyed that they're more interested in her becoming Mrs. Malfoy instead of… just being her. She's excited to marry Lucius, for whatever reason, but it's not like she JUST wants to be his wife. Speaking of… do you know this… 'Draco'?"
"Yes." She says simply.
"Who are they?"
"He's… a man. He went to school with me, actually." She doesn't say it exactly, but she doesn't hide it either; he's Cissy's son. She was obviously following the naming conventions of our family... It was pretty obvious something not right was going on. If this was 2001, why were our bodies from 1968?
"...So he exists. Then the thing about me torturing someone…" I don't want to look directly at her, so I stare into Narcissa's pained face. Her mouth is moving, as though she were reliving some horrible dream. She… looks older, now that I study her closely. I'd thought she looked a tiny bit taller, but looking at her face so closely all but confirms it.
"...That was also true." She says quietly, "You torture someone." She says it so matter-of-factly that I can't help but want to deny it. Why would I torture someone? For what reason? What would I care about enough to torture for? But… she hasn't lied. Not that I can think of. So this must be true too.
I don't want to ask her. I really don't want to ask her. But I need to know. I desperately need to know, "Who… who did I torture? Why… when? Where? Why did I torture someone?"
"Do you really want to know?" She stops and faces me with a serious glare in her eyes, "Do you, Bellatrix Black age 18, really want to know why you would torture someone? What led you to that very moment, that instant… The instant you felt like torturing an innocent child was the right thing to do?" A child… Merlin, why would I torture a bloody child…
"I… I do." I don't, I really don't. I really really really really don't. But...
"Bellatrix. You're a smart woman. I can tell. You're like me," She says, still staring deeply into my eyes, "You can never leave well enough alone. If someone tells you don't need to know something, you bristle. You argue. You look up the answers anyway. Even if the answers… The answers bring you nothing but pain and misery. What if I told you that, the you RIGHT NOW… you would be appalled. Worse than appalled. You might not even care about yourself anymore. You might even want to jump off this bloody bridge." She covers her eyes with her hands, "Even after that, do you still want to know?
"Do I want to? Fuck… Fuck no. I don't want to know at all. But. But. I have to know. I have to. Please..."
"No. No you don't. You're being selfish." She's angry now, "We have to get out of here, Bellatrix. This potion was only the beginning. There will be further dangers up ahead, and they will be far more dangerous than that potion was, and we've already lost one of our number. Albeit temporarily. You're asking me to potentially cripple the SECOND of our little party, for nothing more than the pursuit of knowledge. No one likes a know-it-all, Bellatrix."
"PLEASE." I raise my voice, and I can feel Narcissa stir slightly. Hermione… her anger faded as quick as it appeared, leaving only pain.
"Fine. You don't get to say I didn't warn you." She rolls up the sleeve of her sweater on her right arm, only to reveal… MUDBLOOD. Carved, right there, into her flesh. Uneven, clearly carved with a slightly dull blade… Merlin. I tortured… her? The woman I foolishly flirted with? I flirted with… someone, who had every right to want me dead, and I flirted with someone who I felt the need to torture so cruelly. How can she even be around me? If someone did that to me, I'm not even sure I could look them in the eye, and yet… she's been completely friendly to me...
"See? Do you feel happy now?" She says as she rolls back her sweater, and I can feel my knees shake, even with Narcissa under a feather-light charm.
"I… I-I did that… T-To you?" I stutter, and she can sense my unease because she walks over and grabs me by the shoulders. I… set Narcissa down gently, and stare back into her eyes.
"Bellatrix. Please, don't fall into despair." She says gently, "Bella, I… The one who carved that into my arm was a woman driven mad. A woman so deeply unhappy, so deeply miserable that she abandoned every single thing you hold dear. A stupid, stupid woman who was obsessed with an evil, horrible man who treated her like she was nothing. Who treated her like nothing more than a misbehaving dog. You… You are not that woman."
"I… I'm not?"
"You are Bellatrix Black. You are an 18 year old teenager, someone who values intelligence. Who loves her sisters more than anything in the world. Who doesn't believe in blood purity, not because you're a nice person, but because it's bloody well stupid."
"Y-Yeah…" I say.
"You are Bellatrix Black. You are not Bellatrix Lestrange."
"I… I am Bellatrix Black, not Bellatrix Lestrange." I repeat, my voice wavering with emotion.
"You are not evil."
"I am… not… evil."
"You are a pathetic lesbian."
"I am a pathet-" I stop, and her GRIN. Her fucking grin… She's… joking, with me? How can she joke with someone like-
"Bella." She lets my shoulders go, and I can feel the tension draining from them, "I don't blame you for anything. You've done nothing wrong. Can you repeat that last part for me?"
"I've… done nothing wrong."
I wish I could believe that.