Chapter 20

Pillow Talk

Sometimes it seems as if the universe is conspiring against you. That is, of course, merely a product of the primitive need for some brains to link correlation to causation, finding patterns of meaning in random serendipity.

How did they get here, of all places? Watching the two mahou shoujo lying in bed together, staring at that ridiculous two dimensional imaging screen, I was instantly aware of what had occurred, both between them, and within the barrier.

They had managed to destroy or escape the conglomerate. Knowing both girls' foolhardy stubbornness, I must assume the project is a total loss. Another wrinkle in my plans, and this does not bode well for the immediate future. Perhaps it would be best to simply eliminate Sakura Kyoko and Miki Sayaka, nullifying their impact on upcoming events.

The pieces were beginning to come together, but the puzzle keeps changing, fate and chance, conspiring with that horrible Akemi girl, trying vainly to foil my every attempt at controlling the situation. The Kaname girl's refusal, then readiness to enter into a Contract had been a great leap forward, but the Wish was... unexpected. My superior intellect demands recognition of the fact that complications may arise from the effects of that Wish... but it will all work out in the end. It is my only way off this planet. It must work out.

I am in control. Remain in control. The pieces continue to fall in place. It is strange, even unprecedented... that I could have misjudged the Kaname girl's potential. I don't believe I did. Something strange is at work; such things do not simply change, diminish, overnight. I'm positive it has something to do with the Akemi girl's tinkering with the flow of time. Some sort of destiny paradox, perhaps? That would explain...

*Sigh* An argument. How original. Listen in, hear what I am constantly being exposed to.

"I just think that, well, we need to somehow pay for this! If we don't, its stealing."

"It is so not stealing. It belongs to thieves to begin with! Someone who steals can't expect not to get stolen from!"

"Someone who... what are you talking about? The point is, you can burgle all you want, just leave me out of it!"

"I've never burgled anything in my life!"

"Fine. Mugged. Swiped. Snatched. 'Found.' 'Borrowed.' 'Acquired."

"Smartass. Look, we work our butts off fighting to save these people-"

"You occasionally get up off your butt to track down a grief seed, and maybe beat up some rival magical girls along the way!"

"Whatever. What matters is, we save these people, and get nothing in return! Aren't we owed something? Even if they don't know what we do for them?"

"I don't want to have to steal from people, Kyoko!"

"Well, I don't want to get a job! If that's what you're aiming for, I already have one! Its called being a Magical ass-kicking Girl! If the world doesn't acknowledge what we do for it, we'll have to make do in other ways."

"Through crime?"

"Victimless crime, maybe. This is a hotel, Saya, not someone's home..."

"I won't use people, Kyoko! I can't just take... whatever I want."

That long, significant look the red-haired one is giving to the blue-haired girl who was just talking... based upon past data it involves some form of non-verbal innuendo, a kind of message shared between sets of individuals seeking to blind themselves to their eternally lonely existence and transcend singularity by adopting the misnomer of a unified embodiment of both individuals, which they call a "couple."

We Incubators have it so much better than these primates. Unless, of course, you happen to be banned from rejoining the Overmind.

Then, in a sense... you're just as alone as these primitives.

Here is an example of the inane hypothesizing this species is so fond of attempting, confusing introspection with enlightenment. This is the kind of drivel I have to listen to every single day I'm stuck on this planet.

"

"Some western philosophers believed the human soul to reside in the pineal gland."

"...the...what?"

"Pineal gland."

"...Is that why only their men could be holy people?"

"Ah... hmmm. No, not exactly. It's in your head."

"Huh? You are so wrong about that, sister."

"Its a thing in your head. It probably doesn't actually contain anything, I'm just illustrating a point that maybe I've been a little... overly dramatic concerning the location of my soul. I mean, we have working bodies-we got real working organs-"

"Hard to deny that after that bath!"

"-and stuff. And at least we know where our souls are."

"Whatever you say."

"What do you mean? Haven't you thought about this before, the... creepiness of your soul being trapped in that, that thing?"

"Meh. Don't bother me anymore."

"Anymore? What... didn't you find out the night I did? Or did you know about it before?"

"Nope, had no idea. Guess I've made my peace with it."

"Wow. Okay, tell me your secret."

"Psshtt. Fine. Another one of your fancy philosophers put it this way: God is dead. There's nothing here to watch over us anyway, so what the hell does it matter where our souls are? Kyubey claims that our souls disappear when we die. I hope he's right, cuz otherwise we'll be in the hands of whatever monstrous intellect conceived and created this mind-shatteringly miserable existence of whim and misfortune..."

Oh dear. She's too close to the truth... unless she was using hyperbole, an annoying human tendency that really interferes with the communication process.

"Wow. I should have totally pegged you for a closet nihilist, Kyoko."

"I am most definitely not in any closet."

"You know, sometimes, its like your speech patterns change when you're getting all passionate about something..."

"Huh? Whaddaya mean?"

"Well, you know that monstrous intellect you were talking about? That's the evil genius. Or evil geinie. Evil demon. Something like that. Anyway, that was disproven."

"Disprov-... huh? Disproven? Stop nodding, its annoying. Damn. How do you disprove that?"

"I can't exactly remember. If my phone was working... Read up on DesCartes sometime."

"Day Cart? What's that?"

"It's a guy who thought the human soul was located in the penial gland."

"So, does that mean we have oblivion to look forward to then?"

"Hmm. Maybe."

"Well that's a relief. If some old European says it, it must be-Hey, stop. What... why are you crying? Sayaka?"

Here we go. The waterworks.

"It's just... I can't help thinking. Its stupid, but I can't stop thinking about what it would mean to lose you... Mami was bad enough-don't tense up, I'm ok. Its just... I need something to hope for, after all this pain. Some kind of..."

"Bearded white man looking down from the clouds, telling you everything's going to be better after you're dead?"

"No, nothing like that. Just... a continuation. A reunion. Wouldn't you like to see Mami-san again? The others who you've lost... oh."

"..."

"Do... do you ever think..."

"Don't."

"... Okay. Sorry."

A dramatic sigh from Sakura Kyoko? My interest is suddenly piqued...

"Goddammit Sayaka. Fine. I hope that somewhere, somehow, my precious little sister you can't seem to let go of-I hope she's waiting for me. Stupid. Ridiculous. I can't help it; I want it to be true. If I had another wish, it is what I would make true. But I don't let that irrational hope control my actions, my thoughts... I don't blind myself to reality."

"Kyoko..."

"..."

"Kyoko. Shhhh, its okay. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

*sob*

"It's not your fault..."

"Yes it is, why can't you see that? It w-was my wish, my stupidity, thinking that I knew what was best for everyone... you don't understand. We were starving. We'd lost everything, mother and Momo growing increasingly worried about father and his obsession with what he thought was the right path. He kept talking about suffering now but being rewarded in heaven... what the hell does that matter when your little sister cries herself to sleep because she hasn't eaten all day? It was I who decided to wish that people would listen to him... why couldn't I have asked for stability, or money, or something that would have helped the whole family?"

"It wouldn't have mattered."

"Wha-huh? Waddaya mean?"

"Kyoko... your father was... disturbed. No, I mean it. Something was wrong... with him. When he found out about your wish, what did he do?"

"..."

"You told me, Kyoko. He called you a witch. Would it have been any different if you'd made a different wish? If he found out the inheritance or whatever had come from 'the devil?'"

...*sob*

"Kyoko. It wasn't your fault."

"It was. I-it is."

"No, because you didn't control your father. You were the one that gave him the power to be great... it is so not your fault that he was corrupted by it, maddened by it... you have to know he was insane, people do not kill their own children otherwise."

"But-"

"It is your problem, but not your fault, Ky. You need to... Kyoko?"

*sobsobsob*

"Kyoko! What did I say? I'm sor-"

"When y-you c-called me... Momo used t-to call me Ky, too."

"I'm... sorry. I won't-"

"N-no. I kinda... like it. It's been good to hear again. Nobody's called me t-that... *sob* s-so long..."

"Maybe some part of her is here, listening. I know, there's no way to really know for sure, but... maybe she's trying to help you out somehow... I think you should, uh, talk to her...? Like, let her know how you feel and stuff. Get it out of your system."

...*sniffle*

"I'll go-"

"No, don't. ...Hold me."

Disgusting. And it will only get worse from here. I hope they soon realize that the sun will be setting soon, and decide to... do something. I'm learning nothing standing here, watching them gaze into each others' eyes. At least I free up all the other mes that were trying to figure out what had happened to these two.

I tire of these apes. I've been here too long. It's time for this chapter of my existence to end. I've maintained the highest per capita energy capture in the quadrant for centuries. We're so close to obtaining the energy quota... one last burst, carefully timed and nurtured, would ensure my name live forever amongst my people.

Even if I am not allowed to.

Finally! They're getting up. Ah, eating, of course. Well, I assume they'll go hunting for a Witch next, given Sakura Kyoko's tendencies... I could use another fully charged Grief Seed. I could use a dozen.

Even though its after midnight, I'm calling this story my second of the day. Kinda short, and, well, you tell me.

A different, smuttier one detailing the events between last chapter and this one (*spoiler* a bath is involved), its in the "mature" rated section. psychosaga: Behind Closed Doors. Not at all necessary to read for the story, you can skip it entirely. And you should skip it, if you're innocent and sweet like Madoka. If you're more like Mami, however, head on over.

Sweet, sweet comments, like nutrition for the soul. Thanks, I continue to appreciate your observations and wild ideas that often hit so close to the mark, its really gratifying. As always, I greatly appreciate the time you put into your feedback.