Author's Note: Wow this got a lot of hits in just a few days. Not many reviews, but favorites and alert notifications are good too. ^_^ To reward all of you who waited so patiently and entice those of you just joining us to stick around, I set right to work on typing up this chapter rather than doing as I had intended and alternating updates between this and another fic (a Yu Yu Hakusho story, in case anyone's interested). So please reward me for my relatively speedy update with some reviews! ^_^
Oh, and just so you know:
"blah" = Spoken words
'blah' = Thoughts
Disclaimer: Gaara wants me to tell you that because I don't own Naruto, he gets to keep his boy parts. He also wants me to inform you that no one pays me to write this crazy stuff. There I said it. Now can you stop tracking sand through my living room? *glares* On with the fic.
Sandstorms and Falling Leaves
Chapter Four: Breaking Down
Temari watched her little sister leave the apartment for the seventh night in a row. After catching the younger girl sneaking out the first time, the blonde had paid closer attention to the redhead's night time ramblings. She had even followed Gaara once and watched her for a while as the ex-jinchuriki sat on the roof and stared at the moon.
Gaara wasn't sleeping more than an hour a night and she frequently cried out before waking. Temari wanted to go to the little redhead but she didn't know what to say. She had briefly considered asking Kankuro for advice but Gaara made it clear she didn't want anyone to know about the nightmares.
'I'll give it a few more days.' The eldest sand sibling decided, using her family's long established method of dealing with problems that couldn't be eradicated through violence: Ignore it and hope it goes away on its own.
Gaara felt terrible. Hinata had taken one look at her that morning before announcing that she had something else to do and they wouldn't be able to train. The not so subtle hints the blue haired girl had dropped about the redhead's haggard appearance and the girl's concerned questions about her sleeping habits had annoyed the young Kazekage but she didn't have the energy to argue. Aggravated, instead of trying to rest she went looking for Naruto and Matsuri in the hopes that they would let her train with them for the day.
Naruto spotted her and hurried over with a bright smile. The smile transformed into a concerned expression as he got close enough to notice how pale and worn out she looked and how sluggish her movements were.
"Are you okay?" He asked, laying a hand on her forehead to check for a fever.
The redhead growled. "I'm only sick of people asking me that!" She snapped, batting his hand away and storming off, ignoring his confused and hurt expression and his plaintive entreaties for her to come back.
She wandered the village, taking to the rooftops to avoid the attention that her notoriety and her distinctive appearance inevitably brought. By the time she stumbled across the cozy covered bench on top of one of the buildings her anger fueled adrenaline had faded, leaving her feeling light headed and shaky. She sat down and pulled one knee up to her chest, resting her head on it and settling into a trancelike state she had perfected years before. It wasn't anywhere near as restful as actual sleep but it would keep her from passing out from exhaustion, at least for a while.
She jolted upright a few minutes later at the sound of voices coming up the stairs toward her perch.
"So what's happening with you and Temari recently?" Gaara recognized the speaker from her sister's descriptions. The crunching noises punctuating his words were a dead giveaway.
"She's a pain." The all too familiar voice of her sister's pseudo boyfriend floated up to her. "She says she won't have anything more to do with me until I make jonin." Shikamaru groused.
"That's rough. So are you gonna ask Tsunade-sama to promote you?" The portly boy asked knowingly.
The lazy genius hesitated, then sighed. "Yeah. After the chunin exams are over." He admitted grudgingly.
Choji laughed heartily. "Man, you've really got it bad, don't you?"
"Shut up." The Nara heir snapped halfheartedly.
Just then the two leaf ninjas reached the roof level and realized they weren't alone. Shikamaru froze, no doubt calculating what she might have heard from her position. From the face he made, he correctly figured she had heard everything. Choji just grinned and waved between handfuls of chips.
"Hey, Gaara-san." The large teen walked over and flopped heavily onto the other end of the bench. "Heard you were in town for a while. How are things going?"
She nodded her head in greeting to Choji. "Well enough." She answered vaguely.
The Nara boy leaned on the post holding up the small roof over the bench, obviously unwilling to try and squeeze in between Choji's considerable bulk and her smaller figure.
She stood to leave, not really wanting company. Unable to resist she smiled in an almost predatory way at the lazy chunin. "I'll tell my sister hello for you."
"Don't trouble yourself." the leaf ninja said, obviously trying to hide his discomfort.
"Hn. Goodbye."
Gaara skipped supper that evening, too tired to eat. She lay in bed for ages before she finally drifted off, only to wake up sweating and gasping for breath after less than an hour of rest. As had become her custom, she threw on her coat and left the apartment, but tonight she found no peace on the roof. She wandered the city in an exhausted daze, not really paying attention to where she was going.
So she was surprised to suddenly find herself outside a window, staring in at Naruto's sleeping form. Tsunade's advice that she talk to someone filtered through her foggy mind and her hand moved before she could give it a second thought. The redhead rapped sharply on the glass and waited, feeling stupid.
The blonde leaf genin startled awake and blinked blearily at her before moving to open the window.
"Gaara?" He rubbed his eyes as he scooted up in his bed to let her in. "What are you doing here? It's..." He glanced at his alarm clock. "Sheesh, it's two AM. What's wrong?" He asked in concern.
The redhead climbed across the rumpled bed and stood, nervously trying not to look at the blonde's bare chest. She crossed her arms and took a deep breath. "I need someone to talk to." She said shortly.
"Right now?" Naruto yawned. "Nevermind. It's fine. Uh...can you just go out into the living room? I'll be right out."
Gaara nodded and picked her way around scattered dirty clothes to the door. Stepping out and finding the light switch, she looked around the tiny living room with interest. She had never been in Naruto's home before, though he had pointed the place out in passing. The room was tidier than she expected and the furniture was worn but carefully repaired. She could see a tiny kitchen through an open doorway opposite the bedroom, and looking as freshly scrubbed as the room she stood in.
'I wonder if he always keeps it this way, or if he had to clean it thoroughly just to keep from suffocating on dust after being away for so long...'
Naruto emerged from his room at that moment, having pulled on a white t-shirt and removed his sleeping cap.
"Have a seat." The blonde gestured to the lumpy couch. "Want anything? I have milk, tea, or water...or ramen if you're hungry." He offered politely.
The mention of food reminded Gaara that she hadn't eaten since breakfast. 'Ramen at two AM?' She thought incredulously. That Naruto had even offered was something of a testament to the boy's love of the food. Her stomach grumbled and she nodded. "Ramen would be good." She said hesitantly.
"Alright. You wanna wait here or come in the kitchen with me?"
Gaara stood with a shrug. "I'll come with you."
The blonde led the way into the tiny kitchen and gestured for her to take a seat at the table. The redhead sat quietly and watched as Naruto bustled around, filling a kettle from the tap and putting it on to boil. His usual high spirits seemed to have returned as he pulled out two little styrofoam cups marked instant ramen.
"Pork or chicken flavor?"
The redhead shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
"Chicken it is." Naruto removed both cups from their protective wrappings and peeled the lids back just enough to pour the water in as the kettle started whistling. He pushed the paper tops back down and set one of the containers in front of Gaara before settling into the empty chair across from the silent sand nin. "You gotta wait three minutes before you can eat it."
The blonde waited expectantly for her to speak, thinking she'd start talking while they waited, but Gaara had no intention of talking before she ate. Her appetite was bad enough already. After about a minute the leaf genin seemed to get the idea and started rambling about his friends. He updated her on his training as they ate, keeping up a steady one sided conversation.
The redhead decided the cup ramen was not a food she liked but she ate it placidly, not wanting to offend her host.
When they finished, Naruto threw the empty cups away and washed the chopsticks before moving them back into the living room. Only when they were settled on the worn sofa did he wrap up his amusing tale about Lee's new training regimen.
His eyes lost their amused sparkle and his face grew serious. "Right. Now it's your turn to talk." He said simply.
The ex-jinchuriki looked away, wondering what to say. 'Tsunade said talking would help...so I guess I have to tell him everything.'
Naruto waited with unusual patience, knowing that whatever she wanted to say had to be important to have dragged her to his window at such an ungodly hour, and able to see that thinking about it was painful to the redhead.
"I remember." She finally said, barely above a whisper.
"Remember what?"
"The Akatsuki." She admitted, her voice slightly stronger than before.
"Oh..." The blonde ninja gasped, horrified. "But...you said the last thing you remembered was moving your sand shield so it wouldn't fall on Sunagakure..."
"I lied." The young woman rubbed her forehead in remembered pain but the words came easier now that she had started. "I remember waking up surrounded by chakra. I couldn't move, just floating in it. Then, the pain started. I think I screamed before I blacked out. The pain...it was so intense it kept pulling me back to awareness. Then I'd pass out again when I couldn't take it anymore."
"Oh, Gaara." Naruto choked out, tears welling up in his blue eyes.
The Suna ninja didn't stop there. She couldn't. It was all coming out, as she lost herself in the memories. "Each time I woke up, I stayed conscious a little longer. I couldn't focus on anything but the pain, so I studied it... It felt like all my muscles were being shredded apart...and my chakra had turned to acid flowing through me. It burned its way out through my mouth, my ears, my eyes..."
The blonde genin looked slightly sick.
"And at some point I noticed that I wasn't the only one screaming." Her eyes flicked to his for a moment before going back to the glazed look she had as she forced herself to remember. "Shukaku was howling in my head. It became my only way to keep track of time. Every time I woke up the agony was the same, but the screaming was a little weaker."
She vaguely noted the normally hyperactive ninja had his eyes clenched tightly shut and he was rigid as he dealt with the images she was painting for him.
"The last time I woke up, I couldn't feel anything." She shrugged slightly. "I guess my nervous system had started to shut down. I knew I wasn't dead because Shukaku was still screaming but he was starting to get quiet and I could hear a thumping noise." She took a deep breath. "It felt like I was there for hours, listening to his screaming fade away. Then all that was left was the thumping noise. It had gotten really slow."
Naruto's eyes shot open in horror.
"I don't know how long it took me to figure out it was my own heartbeat I was hearing. I wasn't thinking clearly. The beat kept getting slower and I realized I was dying. I started counting them then. I made it to three hundred and seventeen. I knew the exact moment Shukaku was completely gone because the beat stopped. I was listening for another one, terrified because it didn't come..." She trailed off. The next thing she had known was waking up with him leaning over her and Chiyo dead in her place.
"I dream about it every night. I know I can't keep going like this but I don't sleep because I can't keep the memories away when I close my eyes." The broken young woman covered her face with her hands, ashamed to admit her weakness but unable to bear it any longer alone. She didn't cry. She had forgotten how a long time ago, and even death had not returned the ability.
Warm arms wrapped around her and he cried for her, silent tears rolling down his scarred cheeks to dampen her hair. "I'm so sorry, Gaara. I should've gotten there faster." He choked out.
"No!" She struggle out of his grip and glared at him. "No. Because the only thing worse than my memories...are the nightmares where they are doing the same thing to you. They will come after you." Her eyes were hard as she hid her fear behind anger. "You stay away from them, Naruto." She knew he didn't have to listen to her. In her current state she had little chance of stopping him if he decided to go after the rogue group. The thought caused her breath to catch in her throat.
The stunned leaf ninja stared at her, his mouth hanging open. 'She has nightmares about people hurting me? All that she's been through and the worst thing she can think of is the Akatsuki getting me...' He pulled her back into his arms and this time she didn't resist, too tired to protest being comforted like a child.
The Konoha ninja cradled the petite woman across his lap and rocked her gently. Her eyes remained dry but his continued to stream, his tears making a damp spot on her coat, as they dripped from his chin. Relieved by his acceptance, the exhausted young woman rested her head against his shoulder and let the soothing motion drive the painful memories back into the depths of her mind.
She was asleep within minutes.
Naruto smiled slightly when he realized she had drifted off. He was honored by the trust she was putting in him, knowing she didn't relax around most people. He eyed his uncomfortable couch for a moment before deciding to put the sleeping redhead in his bed and take the couch himself. It was a testament to his ninja skills and her exhaustion that she did not stir when he stood and carried her into his room.
However, when he tried to put her down, he discovered the sand ninja had a death grip on his shirt. Afraid that trying to pry her loose would wake the traumatized woman up, he made a decision. Nervous but determined, he settled them both on the twin sized bed. Thankfully, neither of them was very big so he managed it without waking the unconscious redhead. He ended up on his side with one arm pinned beneath her as a pillow and her head tucked under his chin as she curled up tightly in her sleep.
'I just hope she doesn't kill me in the morning.' He thought, blushing at the closeness required to keep them from falling off of the narrow mattress. He let his other arm drape over her, rubbing her back absentmindedly.
He brushed his lips on the top of her head, her soft red hair tickling his face. "Nothing will ever hurt you that much again, not as long as I'm around." He promised in a fierce whisper. His mind whirled with the memories she had shared with him.
It was a long time before he was able to join her in sleep.
To be continued...
Author's Note: There you have it! It only took a little while to get that one up. I'd have posted it sooner but I was sick with a stomach virus for a few days. Yech! Anywho, next up: Waking up and Repercussions and then... You'll just have to wait and see what else. ^_^ Please leave me a review! Reviews feed my creativity.
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