Hi everyone…I hope you enjoy this next chapter. It turned out a little longer than I expected but there was a lot to go over. I know there may be tension between our ladies, but as always…love will prevail. I am going to go back and read over this one from the beginning so I can make sure I haven't missed anything or left any loose ends as we get closer to finally bringing Paddy to justice…so to speak. But don't worry, there is still plenty of story left. Thanks again for reading and for reviewing. As always…I look forward to hearing what you think. Have a great week.
Lay Down Your Arms
Jane sat in the front seat of her car with her head bent and her hands placed firmly at ten and two on the steering wheel in front of her. Her knuckles turned white as she squeezed the wheel hard and thought back over the week and the almost constant fighting between her and Maura. It hadn't been any easier with Frost either as they planned her meeting with Sean but at least he was still talking to her. The only reason she found herself sitting there, alone in her car preparing herself to meet Sean face to face was because she had agreed to wear a wire and let Maura and Frost sit in a car several blocks away and listen. But guilt washed over her when she glanced at the passenger's seat catching a glimpse of the black wire with the tiny microphone attached and the battery pack that should be clipped to her belt. She'd had no intention of wearing it in the first place and only agreed to it to keep Maura and Frost off her back. It had worked like a charm but Jane still felt guilty for what she was about to do.
With shaky hands, she pulled her hair back into a pony tail and secured it with a rubber band. Looking in the rearview mirror, she raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smirk back at her reflection. She was about to step out of her car with no wire, no gun, and the taste of regret in her mouth. If she lived through this, Maura was going to kill her for going rogue so either way she would lose. Giving the steering wheel one last squeeze, she closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath to center herself and gather her thoughts. She let go on a heavy exhale, opened the door, and stepped out into the damp, humid night air.
Her hands slipped into the pockets of her black, leather jacket and she clinched them into tight fists as tension rolled off her in waves. As her long legs carried her across the slick pavement towards Hildebrandt's Pub, the journey through shadow and light coming from the street lights overhead made her feel dizzy and she stopped midway to catch her breath. When the haze and black dots that danced before her eyes faded, she squared her shoulders and continued without looking over her shoulder at the black sedan where Maura and Frost sat waiting.
Pushing the door open, Jane was met with the smell of stale beer that brought a wave of nausea over her. She stood in the doorway to allow her eyes to adjust to the dark bar as she looked around at all the faces turned her way. It was obvious she was out of place in this dimly lit pub and the frowns directed her way emphasized that point. For a brief second, she contemplated running but then something caught her eye across the room. It was Sean sitting in the farthest booth in the back cloaked in darkness and barely visible in the candle light that illuminated him just enough for her to recognize who he was. She let the door close behind her as she moved through the maze of tables and unwelcomed glares that met her with each step she took. But she held her head high and dared anyone to try and stop her in her quest. No one did.
When she slipped into the booth across from Sean, he didn't look up. His eyes stayed downcast, looking at his folded hands resting on top of the table. The candle light that flickered upon her approach danced across his face casting him in an eerie glow giving him a menacing appearance unfamiliar to Jane. Her whole body tensed and her heat started to thump in her chest as anxiety took over and an uncertainty that had her rethinking not wearing the wire.
"Do I have to ask?" Sean finally looked up.
"You know me better than that. I'm not wearing a wire and I don't have my revolver on me either." She tried to glare but her expression softened at the heavy weight of sadness that shone in his eyes.
"This isn't how I wanted things to turn out." He let out a heavy breath and looked back down at his hands.
"Sean…give me one good reason why I shouldn't put you in handcuffs and drag you in for the murder of Colin Doyle?" She asked.
"Because I didn't do it." He raised his eyes again and looked at her through dark lashes. "But I didn't do anything to stop it so I may as well have pulled the trigger myself."
"I don't understand…" Jane shifted uncomfortably against the vinyl booth that stuck to her leather jacket.
"Paddy's in deep Jane. He's in so deep that he'll never come out of it alive." His shoulders dropped with the weight of what would come next.
"So, there's a contract out on him?" She furrowed her brow as she tried to puzzle through Sean's cryptic words.
"Not exactly." Sean looked back down again. The fact that he wouldn't look her in the eyes made Jane nervous and a shiver ran through her body at the anticipation of what he would say next. "Make no mistake…" he said when he sensed her unease and confusion. "They want him dead. But no contract killer can give them the retribution the organization feels they deserve."
"What is that supposed to mean? I still don't understand…" she shook her head and frowned as her mind raced with different scenarios of how this would end. But there was one thing she couldn't have anticipated and when Sean looked up at her with so much pain in his eyes it almost took her breath away, she realized what he hadn't said. "Me?" The word came out as barley a whisper as she fought to speak over the lump that had formed in her throat. She didn't need an answer because she could see it in his eyes. The words that had no voice echoed through her mind, shaking her to her core toppling the foundation her whole life had been built on.
"I'm not getting anything. Did you check the batteries?" Frost's fingers flew over the keyboard of the laptop that had all his attention as he tried to find the reason they couldn't hear Jane on the wiretap.
"That's because she took it off." Maura slipped the earphones off and dropped them in her lap with a heavy sigh. "I should have known. She agreed to it much to easily." She ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath to steady herself.
"Why would she do that?" Panic tinged Frost's voice as he continued to tap away in the hopes that Maura was wrong.
"Do I really need to answer that?" She looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.
"No, I guess not." He let out a heavy sigh that caused his shoulders to drop in defeat.
For a moment, they both sat in silence contemplating what their next move should be. The heavy unease that had settled over them was so thick and stifling that Maura felt as if she might suffocate, prompting her to throw the door open and lean out to get some fresh air. Unfortunately, the heavy, humid air outside was almost as bad as the air in the car. Taking short, shallow breaths, she tried to push away the panic but only succeeded in almost hyperventilating. It was the hand on her shoulder and the gentle squeeze that brought her back from the precept of an all-consuming fear that almost pulled her under. When her breathing slowed to a steady pace, the realization of what she needed to do hit her with a finality she knew she couldn't argue with. But convincing Frost would be another story altogether.
Pulling herself back in the car, Maura took a deep breath and turned to Frost to find him gazing at her with concern and uncertainty. He was no longer paying attention to the laptop or the possibility that Maura might be wrong about the wire tape because he knew she wasn't. The sobering truth made him feel sick to his stomach and helpless in every way possible. Maura could see it written all over his face and tried to give him a sympathetic smile.
"You know what I have to do…don't you…" she shifted, uncomfortable against the leather of the passenger's seat.
"Absolutely not! NO! She would kill me…" Frost shook his head as he spoke, his eyes wide in panic.
"You can't stop me." Her voice was stern and devoid of emotion as she looked out the window and away from his hardened expression.
"The hell I can't." He said as his voice shook slightly at his own uncertainty.
"I won't sit here idle while she is in there, bargaining our lives away." The anger in Maura's voice was steely and sharp cutting into Frost like the blade of a knife.
"Maura, please. Think about this…" He pleaded with her. "If anything were to happen to you…" his voice caught in his throat as fear took over.
"And if anything happens to Jane…" her voice trailed off. "No…I won't do this, I can't sit here and wait. I've got to do something. "I'm going in there." There was a finality to her words that even Frost couldn't argue with.
"Okay." Came his whispered answer as he relented. He knew he couldn't go in after Jane so it would have to be Maura. He also knew that Jane would never forgive him. "She's never going to forgive me for this, you know."
"Yes, she will." She reached over the center console and took his hand. "If she doesn't, she won't be invited to the wedding."
"Here…" he said, reaching for his cell phone. I developed an app that will contact BPD with one touch. If you need help, just push it. It will send all the information they need to get here and I will be monitoring it just in case."
"Really?" Maura took the phone and studied the red panic button on the home screen.
"Yeah, I've been developing this for detectives that don't carry a walkie talkie. We can just push a button and send the coordinates of where help is needed. I guess it's kinda of like a panic button. You have to hold the button down for ten seconds so they will know to send the Calvary." He had a sheepish grin on his face. "Of course, there are a few glitches but it will work in this situation."
"Okay. Thank you." Maura slipped the phone into the pocket of her jacket.
"You do know this is a well know Russian Mafia hangout…right?" He gave her a sideways look.
"I've got this." She said with a sureness she didn't feel.
"I am giving you an hour and a half. If you aren't back before then, I'm coming in after you."
"I understand." Maura sighed and looked out the window.
"Do you?" Frost said. "Because the clock starts now and it's ticking."
"You know I can't do that." Jane's voice shock with the panic she was feeling.
"You don't have a choice." Sean leaned back and crossed his arms. "If you ever want to have a normal life, free from all of this…" his voice trailed off and he looked away in thought. "If you want Valley to have a normal life…" he didn't finish.
"Fuck you…" Jane dropped her fist down on the table. Her sudden outburst didn't surprise or startle him. "I should just take you in right now and let you rot behind bars."
"Then it would someone else asking you to do this." His shoulders sagged and he uncrossed his arms. "They'll never leave you and Maura alone. It's the only way to ensure a clean break."
"A clean break? For who? You're asking me to commit murder…to kill my girlfriend's father. I can't…I won't."
Taking a deep breath, Sean prepared himself for Jane's argument. He had expected nothing less from her but also knew he had to persuade her to do what he was asking. No, it wasn't him asking…he just had to do the hard part and try to convince her. He hated himself and he hated his brother Seamus for making him do this. Before he could say anything, he looked up and saw Maura standing in the doorway across the room. Shrinking back further into the darkness of their corner booth, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in surprise.
Noticing the sudden change in Sean's demeanor, Jane didn't have to turn around to know who had walked into the bar. She closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath, trying to settle her already frayed nerves. "Maura…" she whispered.
"I told you to come alone." Sean frowned as he watched Maura acclimate to the dimly lit pub, searching for Jane.
"And I did. But if you think I'm stubborn…" Jane rolled her eyes. "She's a force to be reckoned with." Her tone held a hint of pride as she spoke.
"It will only be a matter of time before she finds us." Sean sighed. "I guess we'd better get the introductions over with sooner rather than later." He leaned over and waved towards Maura.
Maura stood in the doorway, cast in the shadow of the streetlight behind her before stepping over the threshold into Hildebrandt's Pub in search of Jane. Allowing the door to close behind her, a dark room filled with nameless faces all pointed at her revealed itself. The fear and uncertainty she had been feeling from the moment her feet hit the asphalt outside the safety of Frost's car unfolded in the pit of her stomach. She swallowed down the bile that threatened to push past her lips and held her head high to convince everyone staring at her that she wasn't afraid and that she somehow belonged in this strange place.
Scanning the room, she was met with curious glances and indifference, as well as the few dark gazes filled with malice but she refused to let that stop her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone wave their hand her way and squinted in an effort to focus on the last booth in the back where a shadowed figure sat protected by the darkness that permeated the pub. As she continued to stare, she could make out the familiar outline of Jane and she proceeded to march across the room with confidence and purpose.
There wasn't much that Jane was afraid of but having to turn around and find Maura standing there in that dingy bar terrified her. She knew it was her fault that Maura was there. If she hadn't taken the wire off, Maura would still be in the safety of Frost's car.
"Jane…" Maura's voice was tight with tension as she waited for Jane to acknowledge her presence.
"Maura…" Sean nodded towards the empty space next to Jane indicating she should sit. He was surprised when she didn't move but turned her gaze towards him. Her expression was hard and the flash of green imbedded in those hazel eyes so like Paddy's, had him leaning back and away as if it might protect him from her obvious anger.
"Sean, I presume." The words came out on a breathless hiss as her eyes wandered over the man who had killed her brother.
"Maura, please sit down." Jane moved over to open the space between them.
"Why should I listen to you? You don't listen to me." Maura's penetrating gaze fell back on Jane. The intensity of the green in her eyes flashed dangerously, prompting Jane to duck her head.
"Please…you'll draw attention to us." Jane didn't look up, afraid of the all the things she knew she would see in those hazel/green eyes. Hurt, disappointment, anger…they would all be there swirling around the green that hardened into a sharp edge threatening to cut anyone who looked Maura's way.
"Fine." Maura slipped into the booth next to Jane, being mindful not to sit close enough that they might touch. She looked down at the table and took a deep breath before turning her attention to Sean. "Why did you kill him?"
Placing his hands on the table, Sean splayed his fingers out before him and took a deep breath before answering Maura's question. "I didn't…but I didn't stop it either." His mouth formed a firm line as he suddenly found himself mute.
"Not good enough. I need to know…" Maura pointed a finger at him and then dropped it to the table. "Now…"
He glanced at Jane for help but she just shook her head. Clearing his throat, he tried to find his voice and swallowed hard. "Colin was dealing behind the organizations back. We have a very delicate relationship with the Russians…one that requires balance on both sides." The surprised look on Jane's face spurred him on. "Do you know what happened to your mother, Maura?"
Maura blinked a few times, surprised by his question but even more surprised by her answer. "No…I don't." She whispered, suddenly afraid of what he was going to say next.
"Your grandfather, Patrick Doyle, saw to it that she would never become a distraction to his son…Paddy." Sadness radiated off him as he struggled to find the words to reveal the fate of Maura's mother. "He had her killed. He had one of his Hench men force her off the road into a tree."
Suddenly, the barriers that had been up between her and Jane fell away and the feeling of Jane's hand in her own brought some semblance of comfort. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked away, not wanting anyone to see them fall.
"Why are you telling us this?" Jane asked, her voice cracking with emotion.
"Because Colin found out and pieced together what happened to Daria." Sean dropped his eyes at the intensity of Jane's gaze. He knew the moment she had figured out what he hadn't said yet and he couldn't look her in the eyes.
"Did Paddy do this? Did he have her killed?" Jane's anger flared up again as she leaned closer to Sean, forcing him to look at her.
"What he did was set off a chain reaction. Unfortunately, the Russians have their own brand of justice. An eye for an eye…that's their way." He shook his head and closed his eyes.
"Bullshit…it's the only way monsters like you know how to do things. When does it end? The killing will continue with each new notch you add to your belt." Jane fumed.
"Why Colin?" Maura turned back to look at Sean. The tears that stained her cheeks rolled down and dripped off her chin but she didn't wipe them away.
"It was negotiated that way. Paddy took Dimitri's daughter so…" he dropped his head and took a deep breath. "They took his son."
"Colin was innocent. Why not me?" Maura asked.
"Because they need you." He looked away and shook his head. "They need you and Jane…" the words got caught in his throat and he coughed nervously.
"What are you asking?" Maura glanced over at Jane whose jaw was clinched as tight as her other hand.
"They want me to kill Paddy." Jane sighed.
If Maura could push a pause button on her life, this would be the time but unfortunately it didn't work like that. Turning to look at the pained expression on Jane's face, she felt as if all the wind had been knocked from her body and for a moment she couldn't breathe. When she looked back at Sean, she knew what she had to do. "Whatever it takes to get you out of our lives." Her voice was steady and her gaze hard.
"What?" Jane almost jumped out of her seat. The surprise on her face matched the surprise on Sean's.
"Whatever it is we must do to get you out of lives…" Maura gave Jane's hand a squeeze, a silent plea asking for trust.
Jane remained quiet but her heart raced at the thought of what Maura might want her to do. She would never believe that Maura would let her do what was being asked, but then again maybe she would. Giving Maura a sideways glance, she could see the confidence etched along the soft features of the woman she loved and realized that a plan had been conceived in a matter of minutes. It was a plan she would have to wait to hear, making it difficult not to fidget nervously. When Maura squeeze her hand again, this time with a little more pressure, she understood what was silently being conveyed to her. So, she squeezed back in understanding.
"What guarantee do we have that if Jane follows through, you will as well?" Maura asked, her voice flat and devoid of emotion.
"You have my word." Sean tried to sound sure of himself.
"Forgive me…but that doesn't mean much at this point." Maura leaned back and studied him with a measured eye.
"I'm sorry but it is all I can offer you at the moment." Sean's shoulders sagged.
"I need to know that if we do this, we will be left to raise Valley as our own…without your presence in our lives." Maura continued to stare at him, her eyes hard and unflinching.
"You have your father's eyes…" Sean let out a long, heavy breath. "Has anyone ever told you that before."
"Yes." It wasn't something she was proud of, but Maura thought maybe she could use the fear her father still seemed to be able to instill to her advantage. She continued to watch him, waiting for him to indicate some kind of weakness, something she could use to her advantage.
"I will talk to Seamus." He finally said after a contemplative silence. "If he can guarantee your freedom from all of this…" he waved his hands around. "Will you accept the offer?"
"Yes, but only if can give me something in return." Maura's voice tightened as she struggled to maintain her calm.
"Our organization isn't in the habit of granting favors." He leaned back and crossed his arms.
"I want Colin's killer brought to justice."
If Sean was surprised, he didn't show it. "And what if I can't do that?" He let out a tired sigh.
"Then we don't have a deal." Maura was quick to answer.
"I'll try." He reached up and ran his fingers through his short hair.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?" Jane finally found her voice. When Sean glanced her way and gave her a slight nod, she continued. "Why my gun?"
"Well…" he suddenly seemed uncomfortable. "It was to let you know how close we can get to you…to keep you in line so to speak."
"You don't know her very well then, do you." Maura couldn't stop herself and a small smile creased her lips.
"I know her well enough to know that she'd never let anything happen to you." The words did little to hide the thinly veiled threat.
"It would be in your best interest to remember that." Jane hissed out through clinched teeth.
"Unfortunately, this isn't about me Jane." Sean said. A sad smile followed as he shifted to get up. "I'll be in touch in three days." He hesitated before pushing himself from the seat. "I really am sorry Maura. In my world, there are no happy endings and the boogey man is very, very real and almost always wins. I hope with all my heart that isn't the case for you."
As Sean stood, both Maura and Jane did little to acknowledge his exit. Instead they sat in the booth, finally alone to struggle with their own thoughts, until Jane found the courage to speak.
"You really don't want me to kill Paddy, do you?" Jane's voice shook with barely contained emotion.
"No." Maura shook her head.
"They why tell him I'd do it?" Jane couldn't hide her confusion or her panic.
"I have an idea. But I need some time to think it through." Maura let go of Jane's hand and moved to stand up.
"Wait." Jane's voice rose to meet her anger. "You can't just come in here and tell him that I'll commit murder and then expect me to just accept that you have a plan."
"I'm sorry. It's the best I can do right now." Maura gave a tired huff.
"That's not good enough."
"It'll have to be." The finality of Maura's words stopped Jane from arguing further.
Fear and uncertainty had been the main components of what Jane had been feeling from the moment she entered the pub but now anger threatened to burn through her. Maura's presence had been both a blessing and a curse that she wasn't sure how to deal with. It was Maura's calm and calculating exterior that frightened Jane the most, but not knowing what she was thinking was paralyzing. "We're not done…" she said under her breath and followed Maura out of the booth.
"I didn't think we were." Maura's voice shook with anxious energy. She had done so well up until that moment when Jane pushed past her towards the door. The anger that radiated off Jane filled her with dread when all she wanted to do was find comfort in Jane's touch. Instead, she had to steel herself for the fight that would surely follow them home.
The bitter, sweet taste of regret stung the back of Jane's throat and even though she knew she was hurting Maura, she wasn't ready to let go of the anger that prevented her from reaching out to reassure that everything was okay. It wasn't. Her long legs carried her across the room to the door without so much as a glance back to see it Maura was following. She didn't want to see that pained look she knew would be directed her way.
When Jane pushed through the door to step outside, the humid air almost strangled her with it's overwhelming dampness. The street lights above painted a grim picture in front of her, mirroring her feelings as she stepped in and out of the shadows towards her car. She didn't have to look to know that Maura was following. In fact, it was best that she didn't look at all because her stubborn resolve might break.
Watching Jane walk away without so much as a glance back hurt Maura more than she realized it would. She knew Jane was mad, and rightfully so but it was still difficult to follow in silence. As she approached Jane's car, she waited for Jane to at least acknowledge her presence. Her heart almost broke when the driver's side door slammed shut leaving her standing in the street alone.
So much had happened in such a short amount of time that Jane's head spun with the emotions she was struggling to work through. Fear, anger, resentment, and guilt were just a few of the things she was feeling. Fear and anger were winning though as Jane slipped into the car and slammed the door, waiting for Maura to do the same. She still hadn't spoken and had no intention of breaking the silence that had followed them. It was too much for her to think about and she wasn't ready to have that conversation yet. The sound of Maura opening the door and sliding into the seat didn't distract her from staring straight ahead as she started the engine. Looking in the rearview mirror, she could see Frost following suit and knew that he would be following them home. At least she would get the chance to tell him what she thought about his idea to let Maura follow her into that pub.
Pulling into the driveway after a painfully silent drive home, Jane let out a heavy sigh and gripped the steering wheel with a white knuckle hold that rivaled the one from earlier before she met with Sean. Nothing had changed. She still didn't know what was coming next and worst of all Maura had somehow made things worse. The car shuttered to a stop as she turned the engine off and pocketed the keys. She turned to Maura as if she might say something but couldn't find her voice so she just shook her head and pushed the door open. Off in the distance she could see Frost getting out of his car. He hesitated when he saw her watching but then she pushed herself out of the front seat, slammed the door shut on Maura, and marched towards the front door in a huff.
Maura sat in the car alone, unable to move or speak as Jane stormed towards the front door. The light knock on the window startled her from her darkening thoughts. She looked up to find Frost on the other side with a concerned look on his face. Reaching for the door handle took more effort than she expected and she let out a tired sigh as she reached deep down to find the strength to push the door open.
"What happened?" Frost tried not to sound anxious but the trembling in his voice betrayed him.
Taking Frosts offered hand, Maura allowed him to pull her from her seat before she smoothed down the dark denim of her jeans with shaking hands. She wasn't sure what to tell him yet so she just shook her head sadly.
"Jane looks pissed." He let out a heavy sigh.
"She is…" she held up a hand before he could interrupt. "At both of us."
Accepting his part in all of this, he shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. He knew how legendary Jane's temper was but he had yet to experience the full force of it directed his way. Lifting his chin high, he offered his elbow to Maura to let her know he would stand beside her no matter what Jane threw their way. A united front was the only way they would conquer the obstacle in front of them and from his view point it was substantial.
"I'm sorry…" he tried not to hang his head as he spoke the words but his shoulders sagged.
"I think it's time we faced the music…so to speak." Maura slipped her hand around Frosts arm.
"Are you sure you don't want to go get a beer and let her cool off for a while?" He hesitated.
"Nope." Maura puffed her chest out, held her head up high, and pulled a reluctant Frost towards the door that Jane had disappeared through just minutes before. It was now or never in her mind. Jane wouldn't get away with the silent treatment much longer. She'd had enough time to think about what she wanted to say on the ride home and she was more than ready to rubble with her girlfriend.
Stepping through the front door should have been an easy feat for both Maura and Frost but the solid wall that was Jane Rizzoli prevented them from going past the threshold. In a split second, Maura found herself being pushed away and watched in horror as Jane pushed Frost against the open door with her forearm against his throat. She could see that Jane's eyes were wild with anger and her body shook with the barely contained furry as Frost's feet left the floor.
"Jane! No!" Maura tried to reach Jane's arm but stumbled when Jane shoved her back.
"Back off Maura. This son of a bitch has some explaining to do." Jane growled through clinched teeth.
Taken by surprise at the ferocity of Jane's temper, Frost struggled to speak around the elbow that was firmly pressed against his throat.
"He can't talk like that! Let him go!" Maura persisted and did her best to shove Jane back. "This isn't his fault!"
The feeling of Maura's hands pushing against her seemed to snap Jane out of her angry haze and she dropped her arms and took a step back. Guilt washed over her as she watched Frost double over to catch his breath, the same breath she had tried so hard to take away.
"Jane…" he choked out trying to find his voice.
"Save it…" Jane waved her hands at him and turned away.
"No! This is ridiculous." Maura grabbed Jane's arm and stopped her from walking away. "I'm a grown woman who can make my own decisions. This delusion that you or him…" she pointed at Jane and then Frost. "can somehow protect me from the boogey man in the closet…or out on the street…or in a shady pub is ludicrous. I can take care of myself!"
"Bull shit! You can't…it's my job to keep you safe!" Jane squared her shoulders and stood tall.
"And who's going to keep you safe?" Maura's voice softened. She looked at Frost who was still bent over and breathing heavily. "I have a plan. If you'd just let me explain."
"I can't do this right now." Jane shook her head. "I need a beer…and some time away from…both of you." She pulled the keys from her pocket and jangled them to emphasize she was leaving.
"Please don't leave like this, Jane." Maura implored.
"Fuck this…and fuck you!" Jane pointed at Frost who shrunk away from the finger directed his way. With those final words, she pulled the door open and then slammed it hard leaving Frost and Maura looking at each other in surprise.
"Holy shit…she's pissed." Frost finally found his voice. He let out a heavy sigh and pushed himself up to stand tall and meet Maura's worried gaze.
"Come on…I think we could both use a drink." Maura waved him along as she headed towards the kitchen.
"Shouldn't someone go after her?" He followed, but glanced over his shoulder reluctantly, afraid that Jane might burst through the door and pin him against the wall again.
"Yeah. And I know just who to call to take on such a monumental task." She handed Frost his cell phone back and pulled her own from her pocket.
Frost took his phone and looked at it for a moment as his mind raced to figure out who Maura would call to deal with Jane. With a dramatic roll of the eyes, he finally realized who she was calling. "Korsak…" he nodded his understanding. "Okay…I feel a little better." Hanging back so Maura could speak to Korsak in private he marveled at how quickly things got out of control and it made him feel slightly sick at his stomach. He had seen Jane angry before, but never that angry and never directed at him.
"Beer or wine?" Maura set her cell phone down on the kitchen counter after hanging up with Korsak. She let out a relieved sigh knowing he would find Jane and hopefully calm her down.
"Whatever you're having is fine." He took a seat at the bar and waited patiently.
Maura turned around to pull something out of the cabinet and when she turned around again, she set a bottle of red wine in front of Frost with a fancy, electronic bottle opener. "You open this and I'll get the glasses."
Frost looked at the bottle opener with confusion written all over his face. He fumbled with it until he finally figured out how to work it and gave Maura a triumphant smile when she turned around to the bottle, open and waiting for her to pour.
The red wine swirled around the glass as Maura poured. They were both silent as she filled each glass more than halfway and she only smiled when Frost raised his eyebrow in question. "It's been a long night." She let out a heavy breath before taking a healthy swallow of the liquid in her glass.
"You wanna tell me about it?" He followed her lead and took a drink as well, peering at her over the rim of his glass.
"No…I don't think so." She shook her head. "I need some time to process everything and then I need to talk to Jane." Pausing to take another sip, she noticed the hurt look on his face and decided she need to reassure him. "But we won't do anything without talking to you…" she added.
"I guess I deserve that." He shrugged.
"This isn't about getting back at you, Barry." She reached across the counter and placed her hand on his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I just need to talk to Jane first."
"I understand." He tried to smile, even though he still felt like he was somehow being punished.
"I promise…" Maura did her best to reassure him.
"Well…" he held up is glass in a toast. "Here's to Jane coming home in a better mood."
"I'll drink to that." Maura tried not to sound pessimistic as she held her glass high, clinked it with Frosts and took a healthy swig.
Jane drove around looking for a place to stop that was still open after midnight, but as she continued to drive, her simmering anger was the only company she wanted. She was angry with herself for running away from Maura when what they needed to do was talk but her pride prevented her from turning around and going back home.
A familiar diner caught her eye and she realized that she had subconsciously driven there without any thought. She had spent many late nights there pulling herself together when insomnia or over indulgence in alcohol had prevented her from sleeping in those days after Hoyt.
Pulling in the parking lot, she let out a heavy sigh and turned the engine off. For a moment, she just sat there in contemplative silence. When she couldn't sit there any longer thinking about what had happened, she did her best to muster the energy to go inside.
The diner was bright with florescent light, shinning down and reflecting off every surface visible to Jane's eyes. She couldn't help but squint at its intensity having just left the darkness of her car and the street outside. Looking around, she spotted a familiar waitress who gave her a knowing smile and tilted her head towards a booth in the back away from the small groups that were spread about. She nodded thankfully and headed towards her continued solitude, thankful she had already set a precedent to be left alone.
As Jane slipped into the booth, Ruby slid a cup of coffee across the table in front of her. Dropping a handful of creamer cups down alongside the cup, Ruby gave her a small smile before wandering away but not before glancing over her shoulder to give Jane a quick wink.
The wink caused Jane to smile and shake her head at the older woman she had come to know as Ruby the waitress. On those late nights that Jane had sought out something other than her own solitude, Ruby had been there, each and every time. She never asked too many questions and had this uncanny ability to sense when Jane was ready to talk or when she didn't want to. It also didn't hurt that she flirted shamelessly at just the right time, boosting Jane's ego even though Ruby was straight and had been married to the same man for almost forty years.
Turning her attention back to her coffee, she picked up a spoon and stirred the cream around watching it spread out in white ribbons before coloring the dark liquid beige. With a heavy hand, she added sugar and cringed when she realized it was way too much. She would just have to grin and bear it at this point she thought as she took her first sip. It wasn't awful, but the sugar overload made her shiver.
"BLT…with extra bacon and hash browns?" Ruby appeared again, standing over Jane with her pad and pencil.
"Yeah…" Jane nodded even though she wasn't hungry. The BLT with extra bacon had been her go to for hangovers and even though she didn't need it for that reason tonight, she wanted the comfort of something familiar.
When Ruby stepped away, Jane was surprised to find Korsak standing behind her with a sheepish grin on his face. He looked down on her with his hands in his pockets, and a fatherly grin on his face filled with concern and caring.
"Jesus, I tell Maura I need to be alone and she sends the Calvary." Jane slumped down further against the vinyl booth and looked down at her coffee.
"Calvary…huh?" He nodded towards the empty space across from her, waiting for permission to sit.
Relenting, Jane nodded back and watched him as he made himself comfortable, pointing at Jane's coffee and looking Ruby's direction to indicate he wanted the same.
"I hear things are a little tense right now." He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin in one hand.
"What did she tell you?" Jane huffed and took another sip of her coffee trying not to wince at the sweetness.
"Nothing specific…just that things have taken a turn with Paddy and that you've gone off the deep end." He said rather nonchalantly.
"I've gone off the deep end?!" Jane bristled as she set her cup down and glared at him.
"Well, I may have thrown that last part in myself." He tried to smile but realized his mistake too late.
"Yes…things have taken a very dangerous turn with Paddy and Maura insists on sticking her nose in the middle of it." She looked out the window and let out a heavy breath.
"Jane, I know you want to protect her…but…" he hesitated when she shot him a dirty look. "Maura has a right to get involved. This is about her. You should trust her to make the right decisions. This isn't something you can protect her from…as much as it pains me to say that. Paddy will always be her father and this will always involve her in some way. Don't you think she has the right to know what happens or at least have some say in all of this?"
His reasoning made sense but Jane wasn't one to listen to reason when her heart was involved. Shaking her head, she did her best to push away what he had said. "She doesn't understand how dangerous these people are or how powerful."
"I don't think you realize how powerful Maura is either. The high-ranking people she knows…in and out of our government. It's time that you asked her." Korsak said rather cryptically. When Jane raised a questioning eyebrow, he just shrugged and shook his head. "It isn't for me to tell you. You need to talk to her."
Jane was surprised by his words. She had never really thought to talk to Maura about her connections. Maura had done a pretty good job of convincing everyone that she wasn't any different but clearly, she was. Her money, her name, and her connections were things that she didn't throw around to impress but maybe Jane needed to press her for more details.
"She has a solid plan, Jane. You need to trust her." Korsak leaned back, allowing Ruby to put his coffee in front of him, followed by Jane's sandwich. "I'll have the same." He smiled up at her.
"You said she didn't tell you anything specific." Jane eyed him suspiciously.
"I lied." He held his hands up in surrender. "Now pass me the sugar."
"She told you what happened?" Jane pushed the sugar shaker over towards him.
"Yes, and I understand why you're angry. And Frost is no match for the Doc…we both know that. He didn't stand a chance, so give him a break."
"I'll think about it." Jane huffed.
"Don't think about it too long. He keeps texting me every thirty minutes. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it." He took a sip of his coffee and closed his eyes at the comfort it gave him. "I left my cell phone in the car…it just keeps vibrating."
"You know, you can turn it off." She couldn't help but laugh.
"Don't know how." He reached across the table and took half of her sandwich. When she gave him a questioning look, he said "I'll give you half of mine when it gets here. It just looks took good…and I'm hungry."
"Whatever…" she waved the sandwich away but couldn't help but smile at him.
"Ummm…extra bacon." He grinned and chewed enthusiastically. When he had swallowed his bite, he looked at her thoughtfully. "I think you need to go home, Jane. You need to trust Maura and stop being such a…" he paused as he tried to find the right words. "Well…stop being such a blow-hard." He gave her triumphant smirk.
"A blow-hard…huh?" She leaned back and crossed her arms defensively.
"Yes…a blow-hard." Korsak mimicked her and his smiled widened.
"But I just want to protect her." Jane let out a sad sigh and dropped her arms.
"I know you do. But you know better than I do that Maura is gonna do whatever she wants and your best chance at keeping her safe is to match her step for step. Instead of arguing and getting mad at her…you need to support her and stand by her side."
Jane took a moment to think about what Korsak said, then she nodded her understanding. "This is really hard for me, ya know?" She finally said as she picked at her sandwich.
"I do…it was just as hard for me too." He took another bite of the BLT.
"You're talking about me…aren't you?"
"Yeah…I am." He looked up to welcome another sandwich and placed one half on Jane's plate to replace the one he took. "You never listened to me…always going off halfcocked…" he raised his eyebrows at her surprise. "What? You were a royal pain in my ass back in the day."
"I didn't realize." She frowned at him.
"Well, no…you wouldn't. It wasn't until I learned that I would never win an argument with you that I started to understand. I realized that no matter what I said or did…you would always do what you thought was right no matter what. Even going after Hoyt…" he looked away and swallowed hard. "I don't think I could have stopped you."
"I should have listened to you." She reached across the table and took his hand.
"And I should've made it easier for you…to feel like you could come to me instead of constantly arguing and thinking I always knew what was best." He accepted her comfort, knowing it was a rare thing.
"So, what you're saying is that I need to work with Maura instead of against her." She shook her head again, finally understanding.
"Yes…that's exactly what I'm saying. If you can't stop her, then join her."
"When did you get so smart?" Jane picked up half of her sandwich and took an enthusiastic bite.
"I've always been smart." Korsak seemed offended, but then he smiled again. "You'd find that out if you listened more often."
"Yeah, yeah…I get it." She chewed and waved her hand dismissively. "I'm a hard head."
"You just said a mouthful." He laughed.
Jane blushed when bacon and lettuce dribbled out her mouth. "Sorry…" she mumbled around the food in her mouth.
"Just promise me that you'll listen more." He gave her a stern look.
"I promise." She held her hand up as if giving an oath.
"And make no mistakes…I can still kick your ass if needed." His brow furrowed and he tried to look menacing.
"I'd like to see you try old man."
"Okay…enough of this old man shit…" he waved his hands around. "You and Frost need to learn to respect your elders."
Jane raised her eyebrows and looked surprised. "I do respect you. You know that…right?" Her voice dropped to a whisper.
"I know."
"Really?" She tilted her head to regard him. He had been more of father to her over the last few years than her own.
"Yeah…I do." His smile widened. "I just like to tease you. I'll always have your six…"
"Me too." Looking back down at the other half of her sandwich, she shrugged her shoulders. "And you're really not old. I know you could run circles around some of the rookies we've gotten over the last few years."
"Thanks…" he gave her a funny look. "But we both know that isn't true."
"I won't tell anyone if you don't…" she gave him a sheepish grin. And with those last words, the weight on her shoulders suddenly didn't seem so heavy. "I'm gonna finish this sandwich and then go home to beg Maura to forgive me for being such an ass."
"Good idea." Korsak laughed. "But something tells me this won't be the last time."
"Probably not." A grin spread across her face. "But now I get to work on making it up to her."
"Not sitting here talking to this old man." He pointed to himself.
"Yeah, you're right." She finished her sandwich and shook the crumbs from her hands. Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out some money but put it back when Korsak waved it away.
"I've got this. Get outta here." Hitching his thumb over his shoulder, he indicated she should leave sooner rather than later.
"Thanks, Vince." Jane's eyes started to water with emotion. "Not just for this…but for everything."
"I'll always be here for you." He wiped at his eyes. "I love you like a daughter."
"I love you too." She reached over to give his hand a pat. After a moment of emotional silence between them, Jane pushed herself out of the booth and away from the table. "Don't stay out too late…" She gave him a wave and smiled as she left him to flirt with Ruby who had a way of making everyone feel special. With one last glance over her shoulder, she realized how grateful she was for Vince's presence in her life. He was always the voice of reason and had loved her unconditionally no matter what mistakes she made. As she slipped out the door, she decided she needed to tell him more often how much he meant to her. It was his love and encouragement that made her feel like she could conquer the world and she wanted to make sure he knew it.
It had been over an hour since Jane had stormed out and fifteen minutes since Frost left Maura alone to finish off their second bottle of wine. He had called Frankie to come pick him up and when they left, Frankie looked at Maura with concern as he ushered Frost out the door and too his car without so much as a word. She was glad he didn't ask, but she knew he was worried because Jane's car wasn't in the driveway. Her muddled mind had no explanation for Jane's absence and she wasn't sure she could explain what had happened if he asked. As she waved goodbye to Frost, a glass of wine in her hand, he tried to smile but his unsteady legs needed his full attention so he turned away to concentrate on getting to Frankie's car. She could hear Frankie's murmured words of encouragement and it made her smile to know that Barry would be taken care of after such a hard day and a little too much wine.
Maura watched as Frankie's car backed up and drove away, taking the bright headlights around the corner and away from where she stood. With a sigh, she held up her wine glass in a mock toast. Closing her eyes, she tried to think of what to do next but the only thing that sounded remotely safe was bed. With a flourished swirl, she watched the red wine settle in the bottom of her glass before finishing it off and setting the glass down on the table in the entry way.
Shaky legs took her up the steps one at a time and she did her best to put one foot in front of the other firmly on the ground even though the ground seemed to sway making it more difficult than she was used to. At this point she wasn't sure if she was dizzy from too much wine or fatigue. If she had to hedge a bet, she'd put all her money on fatigue.
Her plan was to slip under the covers and read until Jane got home. Even though she didn't have the energy to fight anymore, they still needed to talk to clear the air between them. And she was a firm believer in never going to bed angry. But the minute she laid back against her soft pillow, her eyes betrayed her and she fell into a fitful and restless sleep.
When Jane pushed through the front door, she tripped over Maura's boots that lay scattered in the foyer. As she hoisted herself up off the floor, she spied the empty wine glass and shook her head. It wasn't like Maura to leave her shoes in the entryway let alone leave a wine glass anywhere other than the kitchen. Picking the glass up, Jane carried it to the kitchen where she sought out a cold beer to settle her nerves. The salty bacon from earlier made her thirsty and what better to quench that thirst than an ice-cold beer.
With a cold beer in her hand, Jane leaned against the counter and contemplated how she was going to go about groveling to Maura. The idea of involving Maura in her dealings with Paddy and anyone associated with him still scared her, but she knew it was time to place some trust in someone else, especially if she wanted to stay out of the dog house. And that someone would have to be Maura.
As she peeled the label from her beer, something she was prone to do when nervous energy took over, she frowned at the realization that Maura had gone to bed already. Even though she had scoffed at the 'not going to bed angry rule', she was secretly happy that Maura insisted that they follow it no matter how angry they were at each other. This had been the first time the rule had been broken and surprisingly it hadn't been her that broke it.
Looking around the kitchen, she let out a heavy sigh of understanding when she spied the two empty wine bottles on the counter. Her eyes dropped to the label she was in the process of peeling off from her bottle of beer and she smiled at the white label with the blue letters spelling out UFO. Maura always made sure the frig was filled with her favorite beers and this was one of her favorites. She reached for the bottle cap and flipped it around over the backs of her fingers watching the small UFO appear, disappear, and reappear again with each flip. Taking another drink, she let the soft flavor of orange and coriander linger on her tongue before smacking her lips against its slightly dry finish.
A sense of urgency suddenly washed over her when she realized there were two empty wine glasses. Upon thinking back to pulling in the driveway, she thought she had seen Frost's car on the street where he had left it earlier. Frowning, she looked around for any signs that he was still there as she moved to the living room to see if perhaps he was passed out on the couch. When she found the couch empty, she set out on a mission to check the guestroom. It was with a relieved sigh that she found the guest room empty as well. Frost wasn't there and she didn't want to concern herself about why or where he may have gone.
Quietly, she pushed the door open to her and Maura's room and slowly crept in. She smiled at the sight of Maura curled up around her pillow on the left side of the bed…her side. Her fingers shook as she began to unbutton her shirt and kick her boots off to the side. She didn't want to risk another moment away from Maura so when she had stripped down to her underwear, she slipped in bed and wrapped her arms around the woman she loved.
The warmth of Jane's body wrapped around her own roused Maura from her sleep. Rolling over so she could face Jane, she let out a heavy breath and snuggled closer. "I'm sorry I couldn't wait up."
"You don't need to apologize…" Jane ran her fingers through Maura's hair and kissed her forehead. "I'm the one who needs to say 'sorry'."
"Are you still mad at me?" Maura's voice was hoarse as she struggled to stay awake.
"No." Jane whispered.
"Then we haven't broken the rule…" the soft murmur was filled with relief as Maura wrapped her arms around Jane and pulled her close.
"No, we haven't broken the rule." The smile was obvious as Jane lightly chuckled.
"I have a plan…" Maura tried to say, but Jane silenced her with a kiss.
"I know…but we'll talk tomorrow. Okay?" Jane pulled Maura closer and rested her chin on top of honey-blonde hair. "Sleep now."
"Jane…"
"What is it beautiful?"
"I love you." The words escaped on a sleepy sigh as Maura settled against Jane's warmth and comfort.
"I love you too." Jane held tight. No matter what came their way, they would have to face it together. Together was the only way they would survive and Jane would have to learn to accept that as the absolute truth or they wouldn't stand a chance.